Start from Scratch
by Quitting Time
Summary: It's been 3 years since Hollywood Arts and Jade's life hasn't worked out like she wanted it too. Fleeing her past, she must start over from stratch and finds her only refuge is with a person with her own personal demons, Tori Vega. Can the pair rebuild their lives and perhaps even find love along the way. A Jori story.
1. Out of the cold?

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 1 – Out of the cold?**

**Here is a new story, full of honest to goodness Jori Drama. I do hope you enjoy it. **

**Note: chapter 1 takes place, 3 years after the gang graduated Hollywood Arts.**

**Jade's POV**

Ask anyone who lives in a northern climate what they hate, the most about winter, they probably won't tell you it's the snow.

They'll say it's the cold.

We're all cold from time to time, we get cold, we experience cold weather, that sort of thing. But as I walk along the nearly deserted New York City street, I'm more than cold.

I'm slowly freezing to death. Looking up, I see the sign of a bank that only serves to remind me just how cold I am.

02 degrees. The innocuous sign flashes, along with the time of 9:17 PM.

What makes me shiver, is the icy wind. It's a fierce wind that seems to rip right through me, chilling me to the bone. My leather Jacket, which looks rather cool normally, isn't keeping me warm at all.

According to my phone, the actual temperature, with the wind chill is -16 degrees. I look up and down the avenue and save for a few cars I see no one. That's because no one is foolish enough to go out on one of the coldest nights of the year.

It's an unrelenting, bone chilling cold, that unlike God, will not forgive you. If you get too cold, too tired and sit down, you'll simply freeze to death. I'll freeze to death, unless I find shelter.

If it were just the cold, I would just gripe about it as most New Yorkers do and go about my business. But I have other problems. My back hurts from the weight of this old army duffle bag on it. My shoulder hurts from the overstuffed backpack that I'm also carrying. These two bags, plus my purse, carry pretty much my entire life.

Earlier this evening, I had packed in a hurry and fled my warm abode, into the deadly cold night.

Making my misery complete is the fact that my left eye is nearly swollen shut and the wind only makes the other bruises on my face, hurt that much more. It feels like little icy daggers being repeatedly stuck in my face. I had been walking more than an hour and I was more and more tired and cold. Each step I took, seemed to be harder to take, than the last. I wasn't going to last long.

Standing on a street corner, I pulled out a slip of paper. On it was a hastily scrawled address.

478 E. 89th street. Apartment 2c

Other than a homeless shelter and I had no idea where the nearest one was, this was my only refuge. I knew full well, that its sole inhabitant, probably, wouldn't even let me in the front door.

Considering how badly I burned that same person 3 years ago, I would have to be a fool to blame them. But it was my only hope.

Just as I lost the feeling in my fingers, even with gloves on, I reached the mundane brick apartment building. But for once, luck was in my favor.

As I walked up to the building, I could see a cab waiting just in front of the building. Moments later I spotted a heavily bundled up couple, hurry out. They appeared to be a couple in their late 30's. Taking a chance, I hurried to the door and caught it just before it closed.

The couple themselves were too busy getting to the cab, before they froze, to even notice me. Entering the building, I closed the door dropped my bags and for a moment let the heat wash over me. It was a wonderful feeling.

After taking a few minutes to throw off the chill, I gathered my courage, my bags and headed up the stairs. As I reached the apartment door, I had this sinking feeling that in a few short minutes, I would once again be out on the street.

I paused a moment, dropped my bags, took a deep breath and then knocked on the door. After the knock there was a long pause, no sound no anything. I knew they were home, as I could see a bit of light from under the door.

Then I could see the tiny light in the door's peephole suddenly darken and stay dark for several seconds. It was as if the figure inside was scrutinizing me and my appearance closely. After another moment the figure behind the door stepped away from the peephole.

Nothing happened.

For a full 30 seconds nothing happened. I guessed that the figure behind the door was thinking, pondering, if the should even speak with me. Once before they tried to help me and how did I pay back that kindness; I threw it in their face and humiliated them in the process.

I was stupid for coming, that door was never going to open. In a way, I was the one that shut it in the first place. Maybe I deserve to freeze to death or just go back to that place I once called home and suffer the consequences. I've been ignoring his calls and texts since I left. He will neither be sober nor happy and I know that that means. The sad part is, that part of me wants to go back and yet another part of me felt like I deserved what was waiting for me there. I felt that pull, it was a familiar pull. I hated it. Just go back, things will be alright, things will be better.

I think I'll just freeze.

Just as I picked up my bags and was about to step away, I heard the unexpected sound of chain being pulled back, followed by the dull clicking of a door being unlocked.

The door soon opened a crack and for the first time in 3 years I was face to face with Tori Vega. She was wearing sweats, looked tired and had messed up hair. But it was the stony faced expression she wore, that made me feel like a total shit.

"I've finally left Beck. I called Andre in Florida and he gave me your address. Don't be mad at him. I've got nowhere else to go. Please." I rapidly blurted out; never sounding more desperate in my life.

I then waited as Tori stood there in the doorway like a statue, silently staring at me. Her uncharacteristic expression not changing once the entire time I waited.

I sighed, as I could feel a lump forming in my throat. "Please, I know you don't believe me that it's for good this ti…"

Tori quickly cut me off with a darkly cynical tone of voice. It was one I'd never heard her speak before. "Would honestly you expect me too Jade?"

I lowered my head in shame. "No."

Feeling dejected, I began to turn to leave. Much to my surprise, Tori without saying another word, opened the door and stepped to the side.

I nodded and quietly walked in the warm apartment. It was a cramped affair with a small living room, kitchen bathroom and bedroom. I dropped my bags a few feet in the door as I heard Tori close and lock the door behind me.

Feeling very humbled, I turned to my former friend. "Tori I can't thank you enough for this."

She quickly put up her hand to stop me. "Don't thank me; I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear what happened either. Don't say anything in fact."

She then pointed to a slightly worn, forest green couch with a blanket over the back. You can sleep on the couch. The blanket on the back is very warm so you can use that. I get in the bathroom at 6 am and I'm usually out by 6:45. That is my bathroom time. You can use it before or after but don't go into my bathroom time. I leave for work at 7:15. I'm home usually at about 6 pm. Until you get some food, you can use mine. I'll make space in the cupboard and fridge for you. I want 150 dollars a month to cover expenses. If you break it, you owe me, if you make a mess clean it up. You will as part of your household chores clean the kitchen once a week. Don't touch my computer and my room, is strictly off limits. After 10, keep the TV volume down and no loud music. Do you understand, yes or no?"

It was the way Tori said it all, that I fond disturbing. It was as if she was talking to a total stranger. Her voice, her whole demeanor, even the look in her eyes was cold and distant. Offhand I'd say she actually looked colder than it was outside.

"Yes." I said softly. It was her place, it was her rules. I had to abide by them.

"Good, one last thing."

"What?"

I didn't realize it could, but her face grew even colder still. Suddenly I felt that chill creep back into my bones again. "If you tell him you're staying with me, tell him where I live or have him here in my place. I will toss your ass out in a heartbeat. Freezing winter or not. I don't care if it's a fucking coldest day of the century. You are out! But you're just going to crawl back to him tomorrow anyway, so none of this really matters doesn't it. Regardless, do you understand?"

At this moment. I felt lower that I had ever felt before in my life.

"I understand."

"Good night then." Tori said icily, before walking in her room and closing the door.

I went to bed late normally, but in this case, I was tired and still a bit cold. I was also a guest in Tori's apartment and thought it best not press my luck."

So I quickly readied myself for bed and in a few minutes I was laying in under a warm blanket on a semi-comfortable couch.

It took me awhile to get asleep. For a time, I listened in an attempt to try and figure out just what Tori was doing in her room. All could hear however, was the unearthly howling, of the icy wind outside.

But mostly my mind tried to make sense of it all. I burn her 3 years ago, show up on her doorstep out of the blue and she helps me without hesitation. Yet the entire time she's icy cold to me.

I found her behavior unsettling, but considering what happened, what should I expect. I shouldn't expect to be sleeping on a couch in her apartment, but here I am.

It was a contradiction that I found myself wrestling with, until sleep finally claimed me.

**We're left with lots of questions to think over.**

**What happened with Beck and Jade?**

**What did jade do to Tori some 3 years ago?**

**Why is Tori so utterly bitter and cold?**

**I hope everyone likes this story, I'm taking the unusual step of sort of starting it in the middle of the story, but I think that makes good drama and adds to the suspense. Please review.**

**Thanks to Invader Johnny.**


	2. Trying to settle in

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 2 – Trying to settle in.**

**I'm so glad everyone is liking the story so far. I hope to make it a real good one. **

**No one's pov.**

For a moment when she awoke to the sound of someone flushing the toilet, Jade thought she was home. It filled her with a sudden sense of dread that caused her to shoot off the couch.

Only then did she realize it was 6:02 am and the sound was Tori in the bathroom.

Realizing she was safe, Jade sat on the couch and ran her hand through her hair.

"Now what?" muttered the Goth.

Jade decided to take refuge in sleep, as she didn't gave to get up for another hour. Waking to her alarm an hour later she could hear faint music coming from the kitchen.

Walking over she poked her head in the small kitchen to see Tori eating cereal at a tiny two person table next to the window. She was dressed in nice clothes and listening to the weather report, while looking out the window.

"I left a key for you. It's on the coffee table." Tori said in that same distant and rather cold voice from the previous night.

Jade still had little idea what to say or even think. "Thanks."

"Next to it, you'll find an stamped, envelope with my address on it. When you go back, please mail it back to me."

Jade wanted to respond and in the old day's would have responded with something rather snarky about Tori being convinced she'd go back.

Instead the Goth nodded. "Thanks. You're done in the bathroom?"

"Yes. Do you need any toiletries?"

"No, I grabbed what I needed before I left…home…"

Jade paused for a moment and during that time Tori just went back to eating her cereal as if she wasn't even there. The whole thing felt horribly awkward.

"So..uh…what do you do? I thought you were going to school."

Turning her head, Jade could see that Tori looked slightly annoyed by the question. "I dropped out. I work in the mail room of a bank during the day and have a part time job on weekends. "

Again Tori went back to eating as if Jade wasn't even there.

"I do have a job, I can pay you the 150 dollars a month, even a bit more if needed. I work at St. Mark's hospital, in housekeeping. Not quite full time. I'm looking for something different. I've had some auditions in the year and a half since...him and I moved to New York City, but nothing's panned out." Jade then tried to inject a bit of humor. "Nothing but a nonspeaking role in a cat food commercial and I hate cats."

Tori's entire face briefly hardened, but otherwise she said nothing.

Feeling it was getting more awkward by the moment, Jade shuffled her feet. "I'll get in the shower now."

"You do that." Tori said dismissively.

Jade quickly grabbed what she needed and headed into the bathroom. By the time she exited about 40 minutes later, she found Tori was gone. She did note the smell of coffee.

Walking in the kitchen she could see a pot of coffee was warming on the coffee maker, with a mug and a note next to it.

_Please turn off coffeemaker before you leave. If you're just going to go right back to him, don't bother to take the key at all._

Jade found herself slightly dismayed by this version of Tori; dark and cynical. She also knew that she was partially to blame.

Jade quickly poured herself some coffee and sat down. Besides Tori a hundred other things swirled through Jades head. First she had to make a suitable excuse to her coworkers to explain the black eye. She had done it before, so she was confident she would come up with something.

Of all the things that she was thinking of, Beck was probably the biggest and the one that caused the most anxiety and fear.

She was scared, for a number of reasons. The most obvious fear was that he'd find her, drag her back home and go to work on her.

But beyond that there was a bigger and even more intense fear.

Jade drained her cup and expressed her thoughts out loud. "He'll turn on the charm, give me that look, buy me something, tell me he's really sorry and how much he misses me and I'll just go right with him."

Jade then looked to the empty chair across the table where Tori had sat earlier.

_"Tori, he will turn on the charm, he'll expect me to come back and part of me will want to. I hate that part of me. You expect me to as well. "_

There was no one in the chair of course, but Jade knew full well what Tori's response would be.

_"You're going to Jade, just like all the other times." _

Jade poured herself yet another cup and made herself some toast. Once her breakfast was ready she sat down and continued her imaginary conversation.

"You were the only one that noticed what was going on. You tried to help me. Urged me to dump him. But you gave up. Gave up and left."

Beck again clouded her mind and Jade decided to check the last voice mail. Walking into the living room and picking up her phone, she could see, there were several along with a bunch of texts.

The last one was left about a half an hour ago and Jade found herself unable to resist playing it. Almost immediately she could hear he had sobered up and now his voice was full of worry and concern.

"Babe. Please call me, I'm worried sick. Please I love you. Talk to me please….please."

His voice, hit Jade's heart like a ton of bricks and she found herself dialing his number. It was like she simply couldn't stop herself. It was only when she looked down at the key on the coffee table and the envelope next to it that she managed to force herself to stop.

It was the envelope that did it, the one that Tori put there; the one to send the key back when she went crawling back to him.

Jade dropped the phone, only one number away from calling Beck and screamed. Then she went into the bathroom to splash some water on her face. It was then she saw her black eye again.

That hardened her resolve to leave, but she still had this fear she would falter. She knew part of her wanted to falter. All she could do now is get dressed and go to work. If the shitty work of cleaning toilets and making beds had any benefit it was that it would help her keep her mind off Beck.

So Jade did just that. She put on her hospital uniform, grabbed the key, her Jacket and headed off to work. It was still cold as hell but not nearly as bad outside as the previous day. As she arrived she found herself both hoping and dreading the possibility of him showing up at work. That was unlikely, as he was currently in rehearsals for a Broadway play, he got a part in.

Jade at 9 am was busy at work scrubbing a toilet and forced Beck, Tori and everyone else out of her mind. She just focused on her nasty, dirty work.

At 4 o'clock Jade, worn out and tired finished work at the hospital. It was horribly cruddy job but nearly all her auditions had gone nowhere and a few manuscripts she had written, no one took interest in. Her only one success, was as she described to Tori, a non-speaking role in a cat food commercial.

On her way home, Jade realized about 2/3's of the way there she was heading to her and Beck's place.

"Shit!" She cursed loudly as she realized just what she was doing. So after back Tracking she got back to Tori's place about 5:30 and collapsed on the couch. Turning her phone back on she could see even more messages and texts. Again she found herself wanting to answer them. It was classic co-dependent behavior and Jade knew it.

About 20 minutes later Jade was still on the couch watching TV, when Tori came home. As the Latina entered the door, she paused, as her face registered surprise.

"You're still here?"

"Do you not want me here?" An exhausted Jade responded.

Tori took off her coat and walked into the kitchen. "If I didn't want you here, I would have never let you in here, in the first place. I simply assumed you would have crawled back to him by now."

Again Jade noted the voice, both dark and cynical. But beyond that, she sounded weary. Not in a physical sense, but in some other way.

Tori emerged from the kitchen, beer in hand, just as Jade's phone began to ring again. With a raised eyebrow, Tori picked it up off the table and looked at it.

"It's Beck."

Jade nodded. "I figured it would be."

Tori then tossed the phone to Jade. "Answer it, I know you want to."

Looking down at the phone, Jade realized Tori was right. She did want to answer the phone. Managing to resist the urge, she simply put it down.

Jade tried to look defiant. "I'm not."

Tori scoffed, bitterly. "You will eventually. Once, you were Jade the fierce, afraid of nothing. Now, you're just Jade the doormat."

Tori's bitter and cold persona continued to bother Jade in many ways. "Look Tori. I'm sorry…"

Tori quickly stopped her. "Don't bother."

Not wanting to be cut off, Jade stood up to face Tori. "I burned you. But why this whole I hate the world persona. It's not you."

This time Tori laughed, but in a dark sort of way. "You think what you see before you, is all your doing; don't flatter yourself."

"Than what happened?" Jade said, sounding exasperated.

Tori paused and for a moment closed her eyes. "Jade, this is my apartment; my name is on the lease, so I don't have to let you stay. Temperature is supposed to drop to -20 below tonight. I also don't have to answer your questions either. I'll start dinner in about 10 minutes, after I change. Just spaghetti, with salad."

It was obvious that Tori was in no mood to answer questions. "Do you want any help with dinner?"

For a moment, Jade felt as if, Tori's gaze seemed to burn right through her. "I don't want your help Jade. You don't even have the spine to help yourself. Just pay me the 150 a month, clean the kitchen once a week and leave me the fuck alone. Dinner will be ready in a about a half an hour."

Before Jade could answer, Tori went in her room and shut the door.

Jade was bewildered. What the hell happened to Tori and why was she now so utterly bitter?

"Yet, she helps me? Thought Jade, as she looked down to see that Beck was calling once again.

Jade had no answers nor had she any idea what to do. Answer the phone, crawl back to Beck and prove Tori right, or stay with the Ice queen.

Jade simply didn't know.


	3. Brick wall

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 3 – Brick wall.**

**This chapter will be a bit intense, possible trigger warnings.**

**No one's POV.**

After a few minutes in her room, Tori came out in sweats. Then she washed her hands and wordlessly started dinner. Knowing her help wasn't wanted, Jade put her phone on vibrate and turned on the TV.

There was nothing really on and Jade ended up watching the mindless Wheel of Fortune. She hated the show, but it served as distraction from the banging of pots in the kitchen and her incessantly buzzing phone.

After about a half hour, Jade heard Tori call out. "Dinners ready."

Walking into the kitchen, Jade could see the small table was set for two, with spaghetti and salad dinner on the table.

Not knowing what to say, Jade sat down, served herself and began to eat. Despite her icy demeanor, Jade found Tori's cooking to be rather good.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Jade said.

"Thank you. It's very good."

Tori who had been looking only at her plate, raised her head and nodded. "Welcome."

Jade felt the need to say something else, anything. "So how's Trina?"

"Fine." An annoyed looking Tori, said quickly.

Jade just lowered her head and resumed eating. After a few minutes, more Jade became aware of the distant buzzing of her phone for about the 20th time this evening. Already frustrated by Tori's icy demeanor, Jade didn't deal with Beck's calls.

So abruptly she got up and walked over to phone where she could see it was Beck. Jade quickly answered.

"Beck, I'm alive. I'm not coming back. FUCK YOU!"

Jade then hung up the phone, turned it off and returned to dinner. "Tori, you see, I'm not going back."

Tori, swallowed a bite of salad. "You will."

Feeling like she was getting nowhere, and much more an appetite, Jade finished what was on her plate, and put it in the dishwasher.

That done, Jade went back into the living room and lay down on the couch. She could hear Tori finish her dinner, and cleanup, which took several minutes. Coming out of the kitchen, Tori looked at her and said in a weary voice.

"I'll be watching TV in my room."

Tori only came out of her room once for the rest of the night and that was to wash up an brush her teeth before bed. She said nothing to Jade, who was watching the 1971 Spanish Horror film, "Tombs of the blind dead."

A little later, the lights were off and as they both drifted near sleep, both women oddly were thinking of the very same thing. How this all started.

**4 years ago.**

It was just after the first month of their senior year at Hollywood arts, when Tori saw it. It was a small bruise on Jade's upper left forearm. That day, Jade had worn her leather jacket all day and had briefly taken it off while at her locker.

Tori who was standing nearby and happened to see it, walked over. "Something happen Jade?"

Jade instantly scowled. "None of your beeswax Vega! What are you, my mother?"

Tori scowled back. "I thought were actually kind of friends. I was just concerned. That's all."

"It's nothing Vega, your concern is duly noted." Jade sneered. "That said, piss off."

With a shrug, Tori pushed the bruise out of her mind and walked off.

While Tori forgot the bruise, Jade seemed to let Tori get a bit closer. Jade kept up her insults and occasional pranks, but from time to time, she'd ask Tori if she wanted to do something. Though Tori observed they usually occurred during times where her and Beck were on a rough patch.

It was a few months later during Christmas break the whole gang had gone to the beach on an unseasonably warm day. Jade had run late that day arriving a full 20 minutes after everyone else was already on the beach.

It was at this point, Tori realized she had left her pearpod in her bag that was in her locker in the changing room just off the beach.

Running back she knew Jade was in there changing at the moment and thought they could come back to the beach together.

Entering Tori ran in and said, "Better late than never Jade. I'd thought you'd never sho…."

Tori however was stopped in mid-sentence by the sight of something she had always wanted to see.

It was Jade's naked, pale and, in her opinion, perfect body which, the mere sight of it caused Tori's heart to pound.

However the look of happy surprise quickly melted off her face when the Latina could see two large bruises on her torso. From Tori's vantage point, they appeared to be rather fist sized and fist shaped.

.Jade's mouth parted slightly as she looked down at her bruises and then to Tori who was now distinctly frowning.

Tori then turned and left the changing room without saying another world.

Upon returning to the group, Cat walked up. "I thought you were getting your pearpod?"

"I decided to leave it in my locker. I don't want to lose it or get sand in it."

Cat then pointed to Jade, who had just exited the changing room wearing a solid black one piece bathing suit.

"There's Jade, I wonder why she was late."

Tori shrugged, though she suspected the Goth was late on purpose, to avoid changing with the others. "I don't know."

Jade when she got back to the group, acted as if nothing was wrong as she gave Beck a kiss. Tori acted as if nothing was wrong either, but she kept a close eye on not Jade, but Beck. He was his normal happy go lucky self as he had fun with the others. Tori contrasted that image in her mind along the two bruises she saw and the one she saw previously. Seeing the two today, brought back the memory of the other one.

It was a bit later Jade looked over at Tori who was sitting on the sand watching Beck intently. Jade was used to other women looking at Beck, but this wasn't like those looks. It was a cold hard stare.

For a moment Tori looked over to Jade with a stern look. Jade knew exactly what that look meant.

"I know"

Then Tori looked away, and playfully ran to join Cat in the water. She would notice that Jade couldn't look her in the eye for the rest of the day.

When it was time to leave, Jade said she was going to stay on the beach for a while longer with Beck.

Tori merely smiled and said goodbye.

Tori didn't see Jade or Beck for the rest of winter break. Andre had told her that Beck took her upstate to visit all the locations where the scissoring was shot as a special present.

On the first day of the last semester of their senior year at Hollywood Arts, Tori was walking past the broom closet, when a pale hand reached out and pulled her in.

As she expected it was Jade, who looked somewhat desperate.

"Can you tell!"

Tori's face quickly registered in confusion, but a second later she noticed that Jade had just a bit more makeup and concealer around her left eye.

Tori suddenly sobered up. "That Beck gave you a black eye."

"He didn't mean to. You need to understand that Vega!" Jade snapped back defensively.

"Jade, how long has he been abusing you?"

"Some help you are." Bellowed Jade, as she turned to leave, only to be stopped when Tori grabbed her arm.

"I can put a bit more makeup on your right eye, that way it will look even. Right now you have more on one than the other."

Jade lowered her head. "Why would you do that for me?"

"I know these situations need to be handled carefully. You need help, not humiliation."

"Look, when he drinks he just gets a bit careless and physical. He loves me."

Tori glared at her. "Do you have any idea how many woman have said that in the course of human history."

"YOU DON'T KNOW THE REAL HIM!" Jade spat back.

"Do you want my help or not. I can help even out your makeup so it's not noticeable. If you do, we talk about this later. If not, take your chances. Yes or no."

Jade sighed. "Yes."

It didn't take much but Tori fixed Jade's make up and as far as she could tell no one noticed.

The next Saturday, Tori took Jade to dinner to talk about it. Jade said she appreciated Tori's discretion, but insisted there was no problem.

Tori of course kept hammering away, saying just how bad it was and how she deserved better. For Tori, who liked Jade, it was simply about getting her out of a bad relationship.

In the end, Tori she convinced Jade that it was better to be away from Beck. Tori was rather proud when Jade broke up with Beck over the phone.

She was crushed when 3 days later she went back to him.

Jade said that he said things would be better and appreciated Tori's help. Tori, in this time, told none of her friends and acted as before, but shied away from doing anything with Beck alone.

A few weeks she found Jade again wearing a bit more makeup and again Tori hammered away. Again she succeeded for a time, only for Jade to go back, when Beck turned on the charm.

From what Jade had told her, Beck had a rather Jekyll and Hyde personality. His darker side would come out when he drank, but not always. Tori did learn he was extremely adept at covering up with his charm. The abuse wouldn't happen all the time, but in spurts.

So the cycle continued through the semester, with Tori doing her best to help Jade. While she failed each time, the pair did soon become close friends. Though Tori was continually frustrated by Jade's refusal to except what Beck did was really abuse. Jade would break up and get back with him, numerous times.

Finally they graduated. Cat won a scholarship to study costume design at a small college in Boston. Andre decided to go to Florida state and Robbie, Beck, Jade and Tori all planned to go to UCLA.

Tori and Jade were spending a lot of time together as Beck had been a bit more Hydeish lately and Tori felt like she was making some real progress for once. Jade during those times, tended to avoid Beck and spent time with Tori.

A week after graduation, a popular and well to do student named Hunter Burns threw a large party for the graduating seniors. Tori who in the back of her mind hoped to someday be more than friends with Jade, went with her to the party as she had gotten Jade to break up with him again.

Everything went well and all had a good time. It was even better as she had heard Beck wasn't going to come, which would allow them to relax and not worry. At one point Tori wound up talking to a couple girls from chorus. Jade told her to go ahead and talk as she would be not spending time with chorus losers. Tori had lost track of time and when the conversation broke up, she realized she hadn't seen Jade in some time. The house the party was being held in was large and full of people so finding Jade wasn't easy.

Finally she saw Sinjin who she thought might know.

"Hey Sinjin, have you seen Jade?"

The strange boy scratched his head. "Uhhh…Oh yeah. I saw her with Beck about 45 minutes ago. He looked a bit drunk."

Tori suddenly had sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Thank you." Tori said, as she rushed off.

Frantically she searched the patio and lower level of the house and found nothing. All that was left was the upstairs and that just gave Tori a chill.

There were 4 bedrooms and in the first three she found busy, and rather annoyed for being disturbed, couples. None of them were either Jade or Beck.

In the fourth one she spotted no one, in the room or on the bed. It appeared to be empty. She was about to close the door when she became aware of someone crying.

Tori then entered the room, closing the door behind her. The room was dark and the sound came from a narrow space between the bed and the wall. The bed itself appeared to be messed up.

Peering in that space she could see it was a figure wrapped in the bedspread. She had her head down and appeared to be wearing no clothes. "Jade?"

The sobbing figure raised her head to reveal it was Jade. Instantly the Goth reached out her arms and Tori hugged her.

Jade buried her face in Tori's shoulder and sobbed for several minutes. Tori just rubbed Jade's back and tried to soothe her down so she could talk.

"Jade what happened."

Jade pulled back and wiped her tears. "I tried to tell him, I didn't want to see him anymore. He…He…..dragged me in here and raped me."

Feeling like a shit, Tori spent the next hour comforting the broken Jade and listened to her describe the act of violence, from beginning to end.

Finally Tori said. "No more games. He raped you and you need to let me tell my father, He'll make things ok. You deserve so much better. Please Jade, let me end this. I can't and won't keep it a secret anymore."

Jade nodded and tearfully threw her arms around Tori. "Please make it stop."

Tori took Jade home and saw to it she was safely in her bed. Once there, Tori kissed Jade on the forehead.

"I'll tell my dad first thing. We'll come over tomorrow, you can make a statement and we'll have him arrested. Everything will be ok."

Jade smiled weakly. "You've been such a very good friend Tori. I'm so sorry I didn't believe you. Thank you. I can never repay you."

Tori confident she would stop Beck for good ,went home and in the morning told her father what had happened. While he was unhappy she went to a party he took the rape allegation extremely seriously.

He agreed and just after 11 o'clock in the morning, Tori and her dad arrived at the West home. They knocked and a few moments later a hung over looking Jade answered the door.

"Jade I told my dad about the Rape. We can talk about it and get the papers filed."

Mr. Vega nodded. "I'm prepared to take your statement Jade. Then I can bring Mr. Oliver in."

Jade frowned. "Uh…I don't know what you're talking about Tori.

In Tori's shock, she noticed something. It was the faint smell of cologne, the same cologne she smelled the night before in the room Jade had been raped in. Tori realized to her horror, that Beck had beaten them there and gotten to her.

Jade then looked to Mr. Vega with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry she dragged you here for nothing Mr. Vega. I was at the party, I'll admit that. We even went together, but I don't know what she's talking about."

Jade suddenly snapped her fingers. " Wait a second, I think I know…Beck and I had a pretty nasty argument last night. I was pretty drunk and very upset. After Beck had left, Tori found me drunk and crying. I think Tori must have misinterpreted something I said. I was very out of it and probably didn't make much sense. But much to her credit, she took care of me and saw that I got home ok. But unfortunately she thought something happened that didn't. She did do the right thing by telling you and that shows she is a true friend, only it was the wrong situation. She meant well, she was simply wrong. Nothing happened. I'm terribly sorry."

Tori suddenly felt like she had literally been stabbed in the back. On top of the sense of betrayal was the fact that she had been made to look like a fool in front of her father. That in itself, stung badly.

"JADE HE'S HERE ISN'T HE! LET ME IN!" Tori yelled, as she tried to push in the doorway but was stopped by her father.

"Tori, stop it, Right now! You can't just burst in her home."

Still keeping her straight face, Jade shrugged. "I'm alone Mr. Vega. If you'd like to see for yourself, go right ahead."

Mr. Vega shook his head, "No that won't be necessary, we'll be leaving now. My apologies for disturbing you Jade."

Jade smiled. "You're welcome. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding and having you come out here for nothing."

Jade then looked to Tori, as she walked off with her father. Jade had done things to Tori in the past, sabotage the Prome, pour coffee on her head, but never before had Jade seen Tori look so utterly and totally humiliated.

Jade could only stand to look at the Latina for a few seconds longer before shutting the door and turning away.

Beck had gotten to her that morning and as always, had turned on the charm. For about a week after that, things were good and Jade tried to forget the lie she told.

Jade however couldn't forget that look of total humiliation on Tori's face and eventually her conscious got the best of her. So she decided to try to apologize.

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon 8 days after the rape, when Jade rang the Vega doorbell. A lump had formed in her throat and she felt horrible for what she did. Jade justified it by telling herself she was protecting the man she loved, and he was simply too drunk to know right from wrong. But regardless, she was determined to smooth things out between her and Tori. After all Jade, considered Tori to be one of her very best friends.

It was Trina who answered the door, upon seeing it was Jade, her eyes narrowed into a harsh glare.

"What do you want Jade!"

Looking as apologetic as she could, Jade said. "May I please speak with Tori."

It was a full 3 seconds before Trina answered. "She's gone Jade!"

"What?"

"You heard me numskull, she's gone. She decided against going to UCLA and is going to college out east. She left 5 days ago. Until September when she can move in the dorms, she's staying with some relatives. If you don't believe me, look up in her now empty room."

Feeling like she had been punched in the stomach, Jade croaked. "Where!"

"AS FAR AWAY FROM YOU, AS FUCKING POSSIBLE, YOU WORTHLESS, FUCKING BITCH!" Trina screamed, right before she slammed the door in Jade's face.

Suddenly feeling devastated, Jade's hands began to tremble as she staggered away from the door.

Desperate to make this right, she pulled out her phone and dialed Tori's phone number.

The recording she got, told her the phone number had been disconnected.

The lump in her throat, now feeling like a boulder, Jade got in her car and drove away. Several blocks later she pulled over and no longer able to hold it back, began to cry.

Tori had been a true friend; a friend who fought for her time and again, now she was gone. Feeling betrayed, humiliated and tired of banging her head against a brick wall, she had gave up the fight and left.

It was then a text came through from Beck.

_"Hey let's party tonight. Feel like getting blitzed…woo hoo"_

**Present day.**

The previous night was the first time in 3 years since she had seen Tori or heard from Tori. Some three years after her betrayal, Jade once again came to Tori for help.

For reasons she couldn't fathom, Tori again took her in, but now the once bright happy Latina was now cold,angry and cynical. Jade could only wonder what else had happened to Tori in the 3 years that had past.

In the dark, Jade got up and put her hand on Tori's closed bedroom door. Once again Jade recalled that look of utter humiliation as Tori walked off and began to choke up.

Tears running down her face, Jade whispered. "I'm sorry Tori. Please forgive me."

**I hate to say it, but this chapter is loosely based on a true story.**

**The line that Jade says. "YOU DON'T KNOW THE REAL HIM!"**

**That is the exact words that a woman I knew in college told me, when I told her she should get away from the abusive creep. She liked him, was infatuated with him, hung around him like a puppy dog. **

**The creep in question was, tall, handsome, outgoing and dressed straight out of GQ. In reality he was a narcissistic, alcoholic, sociopathic, creep.**

**He would later, rape that same girl and indeed he got to her. The next day, looking as if he didn't have a care in the world, waltzed in her room. I knew her roommates were going to get the authorities involved, but he emerged a short while later and her story had suddenly changed. **

**He got away with it. a few months later, when drunk again he would violate her in a way I care not to think about and won't dignify by describing here. That finally got it through her head, he was bad news, though sadly, charges weren't filed. I think she just wanted to put it past her.**

**Thinking back to that conversation when I warned her, I only wished I had pressed harder or done more. All I can do, is use her story to possibly help others.**

**In the movies, bad guys are frequently, ugly, misshapen or unattractive. **

**I encountered one in real life. I'll always remember that million dollar smile and the evil that lurked behind it.**


	4. Tensions

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 4 – Tensions**

**No One's POV**

After quietly crying in Tori's bedroom door for a few minutes, Jade returned to the couch, where she fell into a fitful sleep.

The next morning, Tori woke at 5:55 as she did normally. Exiting her room Tori walked over to the couch and with an extremely sad expression, watched Jade sleep for a minute.

Jade's sudden stirring on the couch, caused, Tori to quietly slip into the bathroom.

There she took a long look at herself in the mirror, her once previous sad expression now having turned into a very Jadelike scowl.

"All this negative emotion and by the time you're 40, you're going to be fat and ugly."

After another few seconds of starring at herself, she looked away. "You already are."

Jade woke up an hour later, again as Tori was quietly eating breakfast in the kitchen. This time Jade didn't even bother to say anything. She just went in the bathroom and got ready for work.

When she exited the bathroom, she found again Tori had made coffee, but no note this time. Jade had yet another day of tedious cleaning work and just after 5 was arriving home.

Alone in Tori's apartment, she took her time to look around. In one corner was an easy chair with a light next to it. A few feet away along the wall, was a small desk with a computer on it. Next to the desk was a small filling cabinet, which Jade assumed contained personal papers.

In the other corner, Tori had a small keyboard. Jade recognized it as the same one from Tori's room back in California. Jade also knew that Tori would spend lots of time at it writing and playing songs.

In fact a half written song was sitting on top of the keyboard. Looking at the keyboard closer, Jade noticed something.

The keyboard, the chair in front of it and the music book on top of it, were all covered in dust.

Jade scratched her head. "Tori's not sat at this keyboard or played it, in some time. She loves music. Andre told me she was always playing music on it."

None the less, the keyboard seems to have been purposely neglected.

Jade then flashed back to Tori's don't flatter yourself comment and surmised that something else must have happened to the Latina; something that made her even more angry, bitter and cynical.

After briefly considering asking Tori why she no longer plays her keyboard, Jade quickly dismissed the idea. The Latina had made it clear, she didn't want questioned asked.

Having a bit of time, Jade instead went out and bought a few things she'd want to eat at a local grocery store. Coming back, Jade discovered Tori had indeed emptied out a single cupboard for her to use.

Tori arrived home just as Jade was finishing put away her groceries.

"Tori, thanks for clearing some space. I got some stuff, so won't eat your stuff."

"Welcome." Tori said with a nod, before walking into her room.

Jade shrugged and went to check the messages on her phone. With Beck calling all the time, Jade just kept if turned off.

As she expected there was a number of messages from Beck, some angry, some sad, some pleading, some threatening. It was like his night and day personality was spinning round a like a weather vane in a tornado.

All of it had the rather nice effect of turning Jade's emotions inside out. The pleading messages, tugged at her heart, the threatening ones just made her angry. After listening to her messages, Jade just sat in the easy chair in the corner and tried to push Beck out of her mind.

Tori made dinner and when it as ready the pair ate in silence, at least until Tori's phone rang.

Walking over Tori looked at the caller Id, then to Jade. "I figured he'd get around to calling me."

Jade momentarily paled as Tori answered the phone.

"Hello." Said Tori in a playful tone very much like her old self. In fact Jade watched as Tori kept up that tone during the whole conversation, very much the old carefree Tori.

"Tori, hello it's me Beck." Came his response.

"Oh hi Beck. What can I do for you?"

"First of all I need to apologize, Jade and I have been living in New York for a year and half and we haven't had a chance to say hello."

"That's Ok. People get busy. What do you need?"

"Well it's a bit embarrassing, But Jade and I had a little fight and she's been gone a few days. You know how she gets sometimes. I'm getting really worried. Have you seen her?" Beck said in a calm, cool voice.

Tori looked to Jade and for a moment studied the black eye that was still visible.

"No Beck. I haven't. In fact, I haven't seen or spoken to her since graduation. I wish I could help you but, I have no idea where she's at."

"Thanks anyway Tori. When this blows over, we should all do lunch."

"Yes of course. Good luck."

"Thanks Tori, goodbye."

Jade watched as her expression went from playful to dark as soon as the she hung up the phone.

"Tori, thanks."

Tori shook her head and put the phone down. "I did it for me. I don't want that creep here."

"Well thanks anyway."

"For what it's worth Jade, apparently when this blows over and you go back to him. We're all going to have lunch." Tori spat back mockingly.

Jade just lowered her head and went back to eating her dinner. As soon as dinner was finished, Tori retired to her room and stayed there for the night. That would prove to be a pattern as Tori always would retire to her room and stay there for the rest of the night. It was like it was some kind of sanctuary.

That left Jade alone too wrestle with her turbulent and contradictory emotions. She was holding out against going back, but not by much.

The next day was a Friday and in the morning, Tori announced that she was going to her other Job right after work and would not be back until after midnight. Jade didn't even bother to ask where it was.

So Jade had a night alone and at had to once again fight off the urge to talk to Beck. It wasn't easy holding out, it was akin to an alcoholic wanting a drink. Jade was irritable and frequently paced back and forth in the apartment.

Tori returned just after midnight, went straight to bed and slept until almost noon. Tori looked crabby and tired so Jade sat in the chair in the corner, where she read and wrote.

Again after 6, Tori went out to her other job and stayed out until midnight. Jade the next day, Sunday, just kept out of her way. She did take some time to clean the kitchen as Tori had requested.

It was nice to have a sanctuary, but at the same time, Tori's icy demeanor only made things harder. So badly did Jade want to talk to Tori about what was going on her head. She also wanted to make up for what she did, but she couldn't. All that did was add to Jade's ever increasing stress level.

There was a tension in the air that simply couldn't be ignored. Jade knew it was partially hers, but the dust covered keyboard, indicated there was more.

The week again started and it was as before, they lived in the same place and were like strangers to each other.

Jade kept from calling Beck, but she literally felt like she was going through withdrawal. Tori of course offered no help and seemed to ignore Jade's distress.

Two weeks past with barely a word said between the pair. Jade needing to get her mind off Beck and wanting to make things up to Tori or at least do something nice for letting her stay, decided to cook Tori' dinner. At the very least she thought it might lesson some of the tension.

So one Wednesday where she didn't work, she went to the store and got all the fixings for Lemon baked chicken, with green beans and baked potatoes.

She knew that Tori almost always came home at 6 o'clock on the dot, so that is when Jade timed dinner to be ready. Jade really hoped Tori would like it and making it did help relieve some of the stress she had been feeling. Up to know, Tori had made dinner every night, other than the ones she worked at her other job. On those nights, Jade was on her own.

It was just after 6 when Jade could hear the door open. Crossing her fingers she called out.

"Tori?"

A moment later, Tori with her usually stone faced expression, walked in the kitchen.

"Hey Tor"

Tori's cold brown eyes meet uncertain green eyes "What did you call me?

"Tor" Jade replied uncertainty "I just thought that maybe you would want to eat something?... I... I... made dinner."

Tori eyes grew colder, Jade actually felt a shiver run down her spine. At the same time, she thought any evil eye she could have given to anyone in her life, paled in comparison to the look Tori was giving her now.

The Half-Latina walked into the kitchen, not saying anything, she simply kept giving Jade such an unnerving look, slowly but surely making her way towards the other woman, once they were only a few inches away from the other, Tori narrowed her eyes and icily said.

"Let me make this clear to you West; one! You don't get to call me Tor, you don't even get to call me Vega, that's only reversed for people who actually deserve to call me that, its Tori to you and don't you forget it"

Jade nodded.

Two! You and I? We're not friends so don't think because I'm letting you live here that we are going to be getting to know each other all over again, I learned from my mistakes and honestly? You're not worth my time"

Jade felt something inside of her break.

"That being said" Tori continued "I don't want anything from you, cook whatever you want, go to whatever place you want to go but don't even think of dragging me along for the ride and whatever you have to say to me? If it's not about the rent then I don't want to hear it.

"Tori... I... I just want to make amends, I want my friend back."

Those brown eyes narrowed darkly "I was only your friend when it suited you but I wised up, we were never friends now we're we?"

So without another word Tori went to her room and shut the door, leaving a heart broken Jade standing in the kitchen.

Jade quickly put the uneaten dinner in the fridge and left the apartment, where she went to the movies. She didn't even care what she saw, she just needed to get out of the apartment.

Jade saw two movies and returned only after she was sure Tori had gone to bed.

The next morning, Jade didn't say a word to the Latina and found herself starting to give into the thought of returning to Beck. Since the previous night, Jade found the tension in the apartment to be almost unbearable.

She thought of it all day, and was still thinking about it as she walked to the subway after work.

A little later at 6:05 Pm, Tori arrived home, tired after a long day. Much to her surprise, she found Jade packing her few meager belongings in the two bags she arrived with.

But more than that, she noticed that the left side of Jade's face was very bruised. Jade also appeared to be limping.

Jade looked up to see Tori standing there. While the half Latina remained quiet, her lips closed in a thin line, Jade couldn't help the look of disdain that seemed to burn right through her.

Slightly unnerved by Tori's sudden and extremely judgmental look, Jade glared right back. "I'm leaving. Right now." Jade barked as she zipped her large bag shut. She then handed Tori $150 dollars. "Here's your fucking rent and I know what you're thinking. You think I went to Beck got beaten and are crawling back to him. Isn't it!"

Tori said nothing, but the look in Tori's eyes plainly answered the question.

Jade then pointed to her face, "This, this is because I was too busy being stressed out thinking about how to put my life back together. I was so stressed that I didn't pay attention and tripped on a curb and fell right onto some ice. I hurt like hell. This wasn't Beck, this was gravity. And for your information, I found out there's woman's shelter up on 119th street. I'm going there and find a bed."

Jade then tossed a business card to Tori. "I know you don't believe me, so here's the card of the police officer who saw me trip and helped me. You want me to fail; well I'm not going to. You didn't have to give me a place to stay, but you didn't keep having to harping on me going back to him. It's like you want me to get beaten. I'm gone."

Jade as she picked up her bags, didn't see it, but as Tori looked down at the card, a terrible look of anguish and guilt briefly registered on Tori's face.

Half way to the door, Jade felt Tori grab her arm.

"Stay"

**So did anyone see Victoria Justice's appearance on the live episode of Undateable. I did and thought the whole episode was quite good. Let's hope it leads to bigger and brighter things for Miss Justice. **


	5. Boxed in

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 5 - Boxed in.**

**Jade's POV.**

"Stay"

I cocked my head and gave Tori a look of utter disbelief. "Stay, are you kidding. Why in the hell should I?"

Tori lowered her head and only then, could I see that the previous look of disdain was now gone. The expression on her face now, was a guarded one; showing almost no emotion.

"Well for starters." Responded Tori in casual monotone "New York City, is still in the middle of a terrible cold snap. They say it's the coldest winter in 70 years. I heard on the radio yesterday, that has caused all the shelters to be filled to or above capacity. Secondly, my father in his work has seen a few places like that, you have to watch your possessions like a hawk, or they quickly vanish. Your only other option is a hotel and I can't imagine your money would hold out long."

I suddenly started to feel like I was slowly being boxed. "Well you seem to have everything covered. You know what; maybe I should just roll the dice and see if I get lucky."

For a moment the guarded expression on Tori's face waivered, but soon returned. ""You leave and you could very well die just trying to get to a homeless shelter, you're hurt and I don't think you could make it very far in this cold. It's just better of you stay here."

It's the way she says it, that's the most unnerving, as if it were plain fact. If I walk out that door, I'm going to die, period.

I suddenly thought of Tori's occasional taunts about me crawling back to beck. I hated them. "Why, you want me to fail. You keep taunting me about it."

Tori quickly turned her back, "I was wrong in the assumption I made tonight. For that I am sorry. But if it helps, I'll refrain from any more negative comments."

More than anything, I wanted to see the expression she decided to hide from me by turning, but I didn't want to push it. Her argument for me to stay was very logical and sound, but I knew there was more to it. More than likely it was the same thing that caused her to let me in here in the first place. My feeling of being boxed in, became more acute as I realized, mystery or not, her cold logic was sound.

Being with Beck I had been trapped, but I escaped that only to find myself trapped again. Looking at the door, this place felt less like a sanctuary and more like a cage. Not that any of it mattered, as Jade knew Tori would never forgive me anyway. Maybe she's doing this to me, to pay me back for my betrayal of her. Keep me here and slowly torture me with the cold silent treatment. Each day I'm reminded of what I did and each day I feel just a bit more worse about it.

I looked to the door again briefly before looking to Tori and her emotionless eyes and was suddenly filled with a feeling of dread. "Looks like I don't have a choice."

"You're making the right choice, Jade." Tori said with just the slightest hint of a what appeared to be smile. For once Tori's smile, did nothing to make me feel better. I found myself thinking about her old smile, the happy smile. I never thought I'd admit it, but I miss her old smile.

Suddenly I felt like I was about so suffocate, I needed to get out, even if for a short while. "Since when do I ever do that? I'm going to the movies, I'll be back later."

Tori began to say something but I simply ignored it and walked out of the apartment.

I found myself running out of the aparemnt and took the subway down the the nearest multiplex. I just needed to escape, into a movie any movie. Getting there I picked the next movie starting which was an unfunny Adam Sandler movie. But between the popcorn, soda and horrible movie, I managed to at least for 90 minutes forget my problems.

After the movies, I wanted to enjoy my freedom for a while longer and stopped off at a crowded neighborhood pub. Tonight the place was filled with young college student types, having a great time. There I sat in the corner and drank, while I watched young men and women, flirt and hook up. My look of disapproval must have been noticeable as several seemed to turn away from me. Or maybe I looked like I had the shit kicked out of me.

Fools, for they have no idea, whom they are trying to get in the sack with. Aint any of you seen Looking for Mr. Goodbar with Diane Keaton. If you haven't seen it, Diane Keaton plays a ordianary teacher who at night picks up guys for rough sex. She likes the thrill and danger part of it I guess. She does it until one of of the guys she takes home, rapes and kills her, the movie end's that's it. The sad part is it's based on a true story that took place in this very city.

I stayed there for another two hours until I couldn't stand it anymore. They were happy and I was anything but. Nothing left to do, I returned to my cage.

A while later I was lying in my bed, which in this case is Tori's semi-comfortable couch, thinking the 3 years since graduation.

After the graduation party, I had recanted my rape story and in the process, burned Tori. She had moved away less than two weeks later. I was with Beck and other than those times when he drank a bit much, we were fine. I did miss Tori of course, but tried to forget her.

We attended UCLA for a year. Robbie and Rex were there as well. The others were gone, Tori somewhere, Cat in Boston and Andre in Florida.

Robbie was around, but we didn't see him much and in that time, my phone calls to Andre and Cat got less frequent. Beck wanted to focus on our life together, without our friends. He can be very persuasive and charming.

But there were those times when he drank a lot, he would get short tempered and physical. He would hit me, if I displeased him. But like all the other time, he would apologize, act charming and I would forgive him.

About halfway through our 2nd, year Beck got a multi episode guest shot on a tv series that was being shot in New York. So he announced we were going stop going to UCLA and move to New York. I objected, but he quickly managed to convince me otherwise. He said we'd do better there in getting parts.

So we moved and Beck did well. He had his guest stint on that TV, show, got a few others and eventually a well-regarded play. Me however, I got a job at the hospital to help make ends meet and auditioned for parts. I also tried to sell some stories. All I managed to get, was a nonspeaking part in a Cat food commercial.

Beck, though he was doing well, seemed to drink more and as a result I got hit more. When he was sober, he was attentive, caring and thoughtful, a perfect boyfriend who put up with my crap. When drunk, he'd hit me over the most innocuous things. When he was like that if he wanted sex, he'd pin me down and fuck me, weather I wanted to or not. The next day, he'd say how much he loved me. Each time like the co-dependant puppydog I had become, I accepted his apology. It's amazing how a person can rationalize away the most horrible things.

Tori had long given up and gone but it was one of the doctors at the hospital that helped me. His name was Dr. Cortez and was originally from Mexico. I was in housekeeping and pretty much invisible to all the real hospital staff, with the exception of him. He was a psychiatrist whom, would encounter when I worked on cleaning the psych ward. He was affable and friendly and enjoyed talking to anyone who happened to be nearby. Most of my co-workers were afraid to speak to the doctors, but I wasn't. I didn't talk with him a lot, but we chatted on occasion.

I noticed on days where I had bruises he would be just a bit friendlier than at other times. He'd say a bad joke or tell me a story of one of his uncles who was a famous luchador back in the 60's and 70's. On those days he seemed to want to help lift my spirits, though he never made any references to my bruises.

One day Beck had really gotten drunk and gave me a nasty bruise on my arm, or perhaps he just saw the look of defeat in my eyes. Either way, Dr. Cortez saw it and said out of the blue. "Jade, you're a fine and very intelligent woman. I know what is happening and I cannot tell you what to do. But my one piece of advice to you, is to one day, when you're hurt, take a very very long look at the mirror, so you can see your bruises. Not just a minute, or even 5 minutes, a very long look. Then ask yourself one question. "Is this me?"

He then smiled and continued on his rounds.

I didn't think about that for a while, a long while. One night after a fight, where I had accused him of spending just a bit too much time with his female co-star, we had a horrible fight. He beat me senseless and left the apartment to go drinking. I knew he would return in a few hours, even drunker and thus more mean.

I went into the bathroom and looked myself in the mirror, as the bruise began to form on my face. I think i looked at myself or almost an hour, I didn't even intend to, but I stayed there and took a very long look at myself. What I saw was a woman who had been beaten and brutalized up by her boyfriend. I also knew that same woman would forgive him the next day and eventually get beaten again.

The words of Dr. Cortez rang into my mind and I finally asked myself. "Is this me!"

It wasn't me, not only wasn't it me, I utterly hated what I saw. Only then, did I realize just how much I had changed from the person I once was, how weak and pitiful I had become.

It was then I knew, I had to get out, get out of this horrible trap I had put myself in.

I had heard from Andre a while back that Tori lived in the city, but as long as I was with Beck, speaking to her would be pointless. Now she was my only hope. I had made quick call to Andre and begged him for her address. Perhaps he heard the desperation in my voice and gave it to me.

Once I had it, I packed everything I could in a few bags and set out on the coldest night of the year.

Now some weeks later, here I am safe from Beck, but as I stare at Tori's closed door, I wonder what exactly she wants. Does she want me here, as part of some manner of revenge. She looks angry enough somedays for me to believe that.

All I know is, that she does not want me to leave.


	6. Descent

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from Scratch**

**Chapter 6 – Descent**

**No One's POV.**

Jake woke the next day, feeling like hell. Her face and body still hurt from tripping on the curb the night before. But besides the physical pain; was confusion and despair, from Tori's wanting her to stay.

Of course the Latina gave a perfect valid reason for Jade staying; that with the cold, the shelters would be full. Jade did believe that, but at the same time she believed Tori wanted her to stay for other reasons.

Was it to help or did Tori want to keep her there so she could fuck with Jade' s head and make her miserable, as a matter of revenge. At the moment Jade couldn't help but think it was revenge. Looking at the door, Jade certainly felt trapped and the more she thought about it, the more depressed she became.

Of course on top of everything, was her constant urges to return to Beck. She would just want to go back, then remember the beatings. Of course the co-dependent side of her would resurrect a happy memory to counter the bad one. It was like a war going on inside her head and Jade had to struggle to live with it, each and every day.

"How in the hell do I even function anymore." Muttered Jade, as she sat up on the couch and looked blankly out of the window.

The only response was the sound of Tori eating breakfast in the next room. That was someone she didn't even want to deal with at the moment. Tori's cold attitude, her constant sourpuss expression was slowly getting to the Goth. Once she hated Tori's annoying smile, now Jade just wanted to see it, if just for a moment.

"Just smile, for god damn once would you." Jade whispered, as went straight into the bathroom to get ready for work.

When she emerged from the bathroom the apartment was empty as Tori had gone to work, but even when she was here, the apartment was just as empty. Jade felt at times, like she living with a bad tempered ghost.

Nothing else to do, Jade went to work and just tried to push it out of her mind. But she only had limited success and remained slightly depressed about it all day. Coming home she decided to keep working and cleaned the kitchen as she was supposed to weekly.

She finished in an hour and still felt like keeping on going, so she pulled the vacuum out of the closet and began to clean the living room. It was mind numbing work and that was precisely what she wanted. When she finished vacuuming and then looked at Tori's unattended and dust covered keyboard.

"I can't ask her about it, but how will she react if I clean it. Will it cause her to use it again?" Jade pondered out loud.

So Jade did just that, cleaning every speck of dust off the keyboard and music books on it then carefully placed them back as they were.

Now Tired, Jade ordered some Chinese food and sat down to watch TV. She still felt trapped and somewhat depressed, but there was nothing she could do about it. Tori worked her second job, so she didn't' come home until about 1 in the morning. Tori went straight to bed at that point.

It wasn't until the next day, around noon, when Jade saw Tori come out. Jade was watching the original Dawn of the dead on TV, when the Latina walked past her wordlessly and went into the kitchen.

Jade could hear Tori rummaging around and called out. "There's some leftover orange chicken and rice in the fridge if you want it."

As Jade expected, Tori said a soft. "No thank you."

"Once again my food's not good enough for her." Mumbled Jade under her breath.

Tori came out of the kitchen with a glass of milk and seemed to notice the rug had been vacuumed.

Looking over, Jade nodded. "After I cleaned the kitchen, I vacuumed and cleaned a bit in here."

Tori then looked around and nodded slightly.

"Oh Tori, I also cleaned off your keyboard and music books, they were covered with dust. I know how much you loved playing it all the time."

The reaction was instant and fierce, as Tori slammed her glass down on the table and promptly blew her top.

"LEAVE MY KEYBOARD ALONE! DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH IT. EVER!" Screamed Tori, right before she stormed into her room and slammed the door shut.

Jade sighed as she fell just a bit further into depression. She didn't do it to be mean or make Tori mad. She honestly wanted to know what happened. Part of her wanted to connect with Tori, make up for what she had done. Jade just wanted to connect honestly with someone, but all Tori did was get angry.

There were times, however when Jade suspected that it wasn't that Tori didn't want to connect, it was that she was no longer capable of it. It was as if her anger and bitterness, had short circuited, all her other emotions.

At the moment Jade simply didn't care. She grabbed her purse, jacket and left, deciding to spend some time at the movies.

When Jade returned, she hoped Tori's anger would have dissipated, but it hadn't. In fact for the next week, Tori remained just as angry and was even less talkative than normal.

Things for Jade were slowly becoming more and more unbearable. She had to resist the temptation to go back to Beck, but the atmosphere in the apartment was slowly becoming more and more toxic. Jade was becoming increasingly lonely and depressed and knew something needed to change. The thought of making things right with Tori, was becoming more unlikely with each passing day.

A few evenings later, Tori was in her room watching TV when she heard Jade on the phone. Suspecting the Goth had broken down and called Beck, she crept to the door and listened.

"Yeah….Hi…I'm calling about the ad for a roommate." Tori could hear Jade say, as she quietly cracked open the door.

After a few seconds she heard Jade respond. "Oh, you filled it a week ago." Then Jade's tone grew angry. "Then fucking take the ad off of craigslist, asshole."

Tori watched as Jade scratched something off a sheet of paper and called a second number.

"Yeah….I'm calling about the ad for a roommate. Is it still available."

"Good. How much per month. It's not listed in the ad."

"$1200 are you fucking crazy!" Jade bellowed, before hanging up the phone.

Tori watched as a frustrated Jade called 4 more ads and each one didn't pan out. One was a bunch of guys who wanted a girl to clean up, another said they only wanted blonde's and so on. The others wanted too much.

When finished, Jade crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it. "I'm never getting fucking out of here."

Unseen by Jade, a now visibly agitated Tori, closed the door and in her room silently made a fist.

Again the next night, Jade called more places but none of them worked for various reasons. But when she finished with her list, Jade quietly slumped down on the couch.

Again Tori quietly watched form her room, a very distinct scowl on her face.

Over the next few days Tori, despite her own emotional turmoil, noticed the gradual change in Jade. At first Jade tried to make efforts to breach the distance, but those stopped with the Goth saying only what she absolutely needed to.

Each night after quietly eating dinner, Jade would slump on the couch, turn on the TV and blankly watch what ever happened to be on. There weren't even horror movies she watched, Jade would just watch what ever happened to be on the first channel she found. One night, Tori noted, that Jade watched a 4 hour marathon of "The Joy of Painting" with Bob Ross, on public television and didn't once move or say a word. At appeared to Tori, that increasingly, Jade no longer cared about much of anything.

Another weekend past and Tori who was working extra hours at her other job, didn't see much of the Goth

The following Monday night, Tori arrived home and announced she was making baked fish for dinner. Jade who was laying on the couch, blankly watching an ancient episode of "Let's make a deal." on the Game show network said in a sullen voice.

"I'm not hungry. Just make whatever you want for yourself."

The entire time, Tori made and at her dinner, Jade just lay there unmoving and watching TV. After dinner Tori retired to her room and as she had, listened if Jade was trying to move out, but other than the sound of the TV, she heard Jade making no phone calls.

Around 10:30, Tori who had been reading in her room, got thirsty and decided to go the kitchen.

She had left her room and was walking behind the couch when she heard Jade quietly talking to herself, as she watched TV. Tori then realized, that Jade wasn't aware she had left her room.

"What's the point….What the fucking point. I've got no acting career, I haven't sold any stories, I still have to fight not to crawl back to Beck, I want to get past this but I can't. All I do is clean toilets and make beds. Tori's just keeping me here to torture me and I'll never…"

Jade let out a long forlorn sigh. "If I walked out in the cold without my coat, how long would it take?"

Unseen and unheard by Jade, Tori began to shake and crept back into her room.

Alone, Tori looked at herself in the mirror, her hands still shaking.

"If she only knew, I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do."

Tori internally was a mess; best described as a twisted mass of regret, massive guilt, humiliation, fear and anger. Stung badly by life, Tori had encased herself in a shell of anger and bitterness, but now she couldn't break through it anymore.

It had taken almost everything she had to let Jade stay, but found herself incapable of anything more.

Not diverting her eyes from the mirror she remembered the Tori she once was. It was that long dormant part of her, which answered her question.

"Tori, Jade is on the verge of giving up. If you don't make an attempt to break through, Jade will leave, one way or the other. If that happens, everything you were, everything you wanted to be, your hopes for making up for what you did, will simply vanish."

Walking away from the mirror, Tori knew that she needed to do something, if not for Jade, then for herself.

It took Tori several minutes to gather up the courage to walk out of the room. She knew needed to take a step, even if a tiny one.

Emerging from the bedroom, she walked up to the couch where Jade was lying.

"Jade!" Tori said quickly and forcefully.

Jade looked up without saying anything.

"I'm making lasagna tomorrow night, with Salad. Would you please help me, it will go faster then."

Somewhat confused by this bizarre turn of events, Jade nodded. "OK."

"Thank you, goodnight." Tori said, before quickly retreating into her room.

**The Joy of Painting was a show that ran on American Public Television from 1983 – 1994 in which Host Bob Ross, would paint an oil painting and talk about the techniques he used to paint it along with other subjects. He always painted peceful type landscapes. The show's gotten sort of a cult following as Comedian Patton Oswald, described the soft spoken Bob Ross as "A human Quaalude." Many people say they find Bob and the show rather soothing and almost hypnotic. It's on youtube, if you wish to see for yourself.**

**Let's make a deal is a television game show which has run on and off since the 1960's. Contestants and would be contestants always wear silly costumes.**


	7. What's behind door number 2

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch. **

**Chapter 7 – What's behind door number 2**

**Jade's POV**

Every since my efforts to find a person looking for a roommate had failed, I had slowly fallen into a deep depression. It wasn't merely a lack of luck in finding a room that did it. It was a whole bunch of things all at once. My career as an actor had gone nowhere, I had a horrible job, I lived on the couch of a person who seemed to hate me, yet didn't want me to leave, plus I was still having a hard time struggling with my co-dependent tendencies. Feeling as miserable as I was, moving back with Beck was starting to look good.

I was also missing Tori. Not the angry bitter Tori, who I see day after day. The old Tori. As much as I hated it then, she was a friend, someone who enjoyed making people smile. I haven't seen her in 3 years, since I betrayed her.

It was evening and I was lying on the couch, in a depressed stupor, binge watching 1970's episodes of Lets make a deal, on the game show network. I was too depressed to care about the fact that the show was stupid and had stupid people , wearing stupid costumes on it.

But I simply didn't care, my life was in ruins and there was pretty much nothing I could do about it. Life itself felt increasingly pointless and hope seemed to have escaped me.

I had lamented that out loud while watching Television. I even began to wonder who long it would take me to freeze to death without a coat. That thought passed quickly, but I'd been having more and more of them.

I had reached a low point and once again turned by attention on the ancient TV show.

"So, do you want the AM/FM stereo system or what's behind door number 2" Announced the host, to the contestant, who was a woman dressed as a box of tide.

The woman all of a sudden looked like she couldn't make up her mind to save her life, which for some reason irked the shit out of me.

"Jesus friggen Christ, the stereo's got quadraphonic sound, turntable and a built in 8 track cassette player. Take the stereo, you stupid wench."

All of a sudden she blurts out door number 2 and the door opens to reveal a bag of goat feed, meaning she's lost.

"Idiot. Now we're both losers, you don't have that groovy stereo with the 8 track tape player and I don't have a life. At least you'll get the year's supply of Turtle wax, along with a shitload of Rice A Roni."

"Jade?"

It was Tori's voice that I had heard. Surprised, it abruptly broke me out of my stupor, as Tori rarely came out of her room after she entered it for the evening. I could only imagine what she wanted and I suddenly felt just a bit more depressed.

"I'm making lasagna tomorrow night, with Salad. Would you please help me, it will go faster then."

Now I was even more surprised and very confused; Tori had never so much as once asked for my help. She also had refused my help any food I made or bought. Now all of a sudden she wanted my help making dinner.

"Ok" I said with a nod.

Before I could even ask why, Tori said "Thank you, goodnight," Then vanished into her room.

It was a strange turn of events indeed. But I quickly cautioned myself not to read too much into it. Perhaps she merely wanted some extra help for once and that was that. I shouldn't expect much.

We'll make dinner in silence, eat in silence and as normal, she'll retreat to her room and stay there the rest of the evening. Nothing's going to change, I just need to except that.

So when I went to sleep a short while later, I was still depressed, but wondered if there was light at the end of the tunnel. Though sometimes, that light at the end of the tunnel does turn out to be an oncoming train.

The next morning Tori was her normal quiet self, though I only saw her briefly as I got up and headed straight into the bathroom.

I trudged through work at the hospital as normal. It's funny being in housekeeping at the hospital, because unless you get in their way, the staff seems to not even see you. It's like being totally invisible. Dr. Cortez is a rare exception, but he's pretty busy so other than to say hello, he doesn't get much chance to talk.

My mind was occupied by Tori and the possible motives of her request throughout the day. It was still occupied as I left work and heard a voice that sent a chill down my spine.

"Hello Jade."

I didn't want to turn around, but I did anyway. It was Beck of course; he was leaning up against a parked ambulance, just outside the entrance. My heart both leapt and seemed to shrivel up, all at the same time. Of course the co-dependant side of me immediately went wild and I had to fight off every single urge in my body, just to remain still.

"What do you want? There's a security guard, just inside the hospital entrance I just walked out of. Be warned." I hissed, covering up my sudden emotional turmoil. I also mentally cursed the fact that I didn't have my scissors on me. I had been told by a co-worker that having what could be considered a weapon on hospital grounds would result in immediate termination.

He put his hands out and moved back slghtly. "I'm not here to hurt you. I just wanted to see if you're ok."

Just the sight of him had totally unnerved me and with each passing second, the emotional storm that had suddenly sprung up inside me, increased in strength. I was covering up with my normal scowl, but I wouldn't last long.

"I'm fine, now go away. I don't want you here at my work. And don't follow me either." I said my voice beginning to shake at the end. Part of me wanted to flee, part of me wanted to run into his arms, my head began to hurt with all the thoughts and memories, both good and bad, as they flooded my mind.

"Look, I'm making some changes Jade, real changes Things will be better. I know you don't believe me, but I am. I just want you to know that. I don't want to scare you so, I'll leave. But you left behind one of your writing journals. Your stories. I know it's very important to you. All your other stuff you left behind it just as you left it."

Beck carefully laid down a black notebook on the sidewalk. "I'll put it here and leave."

I looked to the book and then to Beck as he slowly backed away. I actually had to bite my own tongue to stop myself from telling him to stay.

"I will make this right, I will. I love you Jade." He said, with a hopeful smile.

"I love you too." I said, before I even realized what I was doing. Just like that, it came out. I didn't even mean to say it. It left me, with my head spinning, my heart fluttering and a sick feeling in my stomach.

With that, Beck's smile widened and he quickly vanished around a corner, leaving me standing alone.

I don't even know how long I stood there, half dazed before I scooped up the notebook and headed back to Tori's apartment.

I had made or at least I thought I had made progress in breaking away, and in one quick conversation, all my progress had been swiftly wiped out. I had held it all in on my way home. In the subway, I just blankly starred off into space,

Arriving home, I let it all go and sort of mentally fell apart and collapsed on the couch.

**No One's POV**

Tori arrived home a bit earlier than usual and as she entered could see Jade on the couch. While she wasn't crying, she looked visibly shaken and was blankly starring at the television, which wasn't even on.

It was so easy for Tori to just breeze past Jade and head to the safety of her room to change. But halfway there she remembered that she needed to truly make an effort, no matter how hard.

Tori stopped herself and clenched her fists for a moment, as feelings of guilt and anger danced within her mind.

"Jade, are you ok." Tori said slowly. It was hard as hell for Tori to get those words out, but she managed it.

Jade shook her head. "No."

The scene seemed all too familiar, only Tori was barely able to lend the support that she knew deep down Jade needed. "Beck?"

Jade's voice cracked as she spoke, "I saw him."

Tori quickly huffed in displeasure, causing Jade to glare at her.

"No I didn't go to him. He showed up as I was leaving work. I was trying Tori, I was trying. He just came and….supposedly just to see how I was doing and to tell me things were going to change….but look at me, I'm a total wreck."

Jade buried her face in her hands, causing Tori so suffer a massive wave of guilt. "I tried…."

Tori forced herself to step forward and put a hand briefly on Jade's shoulder. "You were. You can."

Jade sighed and kept her face in her hands.

"I still would like your help making dinner. Please."

Jade lifted her head. "Sure."

"I'll get changed and we can start."

Tori then vanished into her room and quickly changed. Once back out she found Jade already in the kitchen.

Entering the kitchen, Tori said. "Shall we begin."

Tori at the moment was only capable of baby steps so as far as talking to Jade, she just wasn't equipped to handle it. So as pleasantly as she could act, she and Jade made dinner. Jade quietly did her thing and said very little. It was a bit awkward, but soon dinner was ready.

During all this, Jade sensed that Tori in a distant sort of way was trying to help. Jade also sensed Tori's limited efforts were most likely all she could muster. Still she appreciated the bit help in this hard time.

Dinner was eaten in silence, other than each saying the food was good.

After dinner was done, Tori said. "If you'd like, you can help me other times, or maybe even I could help you."

"That would be good."

Coming out into the living room, Jade looked to Tori. "Thank you."

Tori nodded. "Do you need anything else."

"No, I can't ask you for more. I'm tired and think I'll just watch TV for a bit then go to sleep."

"Ok, Good night Jade."

Tori again went into her room and Jade was left alone. She was still a mess, but Tori for once had actually helped, but was obviously struggling to overcome what tormented her.

It was a small step and Jade hoped there would be others.


	8. Unexpected

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 8 – Unexpected**

**Jade's POV**

After my encounter with Beck yesterday, I was a mess. He claimed he was making changes and things would be better. I hate to admit it, but I want that to be true. But at the same time, I just want him to go away. I feel so torn and mixed up.

Much to my surprise, Tori let me help cook dinner and even acknowledged that I was trying. Even more shocking she said I could do it. But that was all she said, increasingly I think she's essentially, emotionally crippled.

Much to my regret and shame, I know that I played a part in tall this. But there are other pieces of the puzzle I simply do not have. Over the next couple of days, Tori continued to let me help make dinner. We did so largely in silence, but occasionally she comment on the weather or some other safe subject. But even without the talking I find we seem to work well together. It's a nice feeling when we're working together making dinner and maybe at least for a few minutes, all seems right.

But most of the time she was closed, reserved and the only emotions she expressed were anger, bitterness and cynicism. Needing something to get my mind off of Beck and the whirlwind of emotions he had stirred up inside me, I thought more about Tori.

What did I know. Well first of all I pretty much humiliated her in front of her father. She told him I was raped and I told him I wasn't. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

All else I know is that something caused her to abandoned her music, something which is near and dear to her heart. I can only imagine what.

About a week after that first dinner I found myself thinking more about the causes. Then I thought of Tori's other mysterious job on Friday and Saturday nights. I'm afraid to even ask her about it, for fear of making her angry, setting us back.

So Friday night, I decided to follow her. I knew she went straight from her normal day job to her other job on Friday's so after getting out of work, I went to the bank that Tori worked at. I knew where she worked as I saw the address on tax form, she had left on her desk.

Across the street from her bank was a small coffee shop so ducked in there and sat in the window with a cup of decent coffee. Perhaps it's silly to do this, but I need to get my mind off of Beck, my constant urges to call him. Part of me just needs to know more about Tori.

5 o'clock rolled around and the employees of the bank came pouring out. A few minutes later I spotted the Latina coming out. She's had her customary frown and headed towards the subway.

I headed outside into the cold and began to follow her from a distance. The cold snap had passed but we were still in the grips of winter, with the temperature today hovering around 28 degrees.

The streets were crowded so I managed to blend in but remain close at the same time. I followed onto the subway and there she went down to Time's square. I followed her again out onto the square and down one of the side streets. There was a big restaurant on that street and I guessed that Tori worked there as waitress, but much to my shock, she passed it and entered the building next door.

It was a strip club, aptly named, "The Playpen"

Standing just down the street, in shock, digested the fact that Tori went into a nudie bar. As far as places like that go, this one looked to cater to business and tourist types. It was just off of Times Square.

I needed to go inside and see what she did there. Regardless, just thinking of the fact that she has to work there, sickens me.

After gathering up my courage, I waited until a large group of businessmen entered and came in right after them. I had to be careful to not be seen by Tori so I stuck as close to the group as possible.

After paying the 5 dollar cover I entered the club, taking a few moments for my eyes adjust to the darkness

From the looks of the space, it appeared to have once been a movie theatre. The seats had been removed and in their place, tables and a bar had been put. At the far end of the room, where the movie screen used to be was a large stage.

In the dim light, I could see dancer stripping to the sounds of Billy Squier's, "Everybody Want's you"

"Please let that not be Tori." I found myself silently praying.

Much to my relief, it wasn't and then my attention turned to the two smaller side stages, but Tori wasn't on either of them.

A moment later I saw her walking through the crowd holding a tray of drinks. It was clothes or lack of that I found disturbing. She was wearing, black leather fuck me boots, a black miniskirt and pasties on her nipples. She was not wearing anything else.

I soon saw another woman, also carrying a tray of drinks wearing the exact same outfit. It was then I realized she wasn't a stripper, but a waitress in a strip joint. That wasn't' much better.

I took a step back into a dark corner so I could observe her unseen and took some time to study her expression. She looked happy and talked and flirted with the customers as she served them drinks. But I could tell, it was only an act. I guessed she took this job probably out of necessity and just stuck with it.

The old me would have gone over there, laughed in her face and taunted her mercilessly. But the old me checked out some time ago; right about the time I let Beck hit me and get away with it. I miss being her.

Tori wasn't herself anymore either. She's so talented, to see her in this dump, was utterly depressing. Not to mention that, I know that I had some part in her ending up here, just stuck in my gut.

As I intently watched Tori, one of the other waitresses, a busty bleach blonde with ice blue eyes, came by.

"I'm Barbie, Can I get you something?" She said with a flirtatious smile.

I pulled out a 20 and flashed it. "Of course you are. How about an answer to a question."

She snapped up the 20 and nodded. "Sure."

I pointed to Tori. "Her, how long has she worked here."

Barbie looked to Tori, than to me. "Over a year and a half, she started just a week after I did. She used to work full time here, but she got a job at office something. Now she only does it part time. The tips are pretty dam good here, that's if you don't mind being groped about 50 times a night."

She then looked me over, with what could be described as a rather hungry look. "You'd do well here. They are looking for another girl. I wouldn't mind having you around."

I shook my head. "I think, I'll stick to scrubbing toilets in the psych ward."

"So why so interested in Tori, you won't get anywhere with her. Believe me, I've tried. She flirts with the customers to get tips, but that's it."

I turned red with embarrassment, as Barbie had totally misread me. "No, it's nothing like that."

Barbie laughed and ran a finger up my chest between my breasts. "You can't fool me, sweetie. I saw you watching her. I see that same look at least, a hundred times a night. Now if you turn that gaze towards me, your luck might just change."

I suddenly was gripped with and intense and bizarre sense of panic, "Look, thanks I need to get going. I was never here, Ok."

Barbie grinned and grabbed my wrist. "So you want me not to tell Tori that a raven haired chick with green eyes was here tonight, well that's going to cost you."

I began to reach into my purse for another 20. Barbie at this point, put her tray down and shook her head. "It's not money I want, baby."

I sputtered in confusion and semi panic, "What do you want then?"

Before I could react she pulled me in tight and smashed her lips against mine, causing my mind to go totally haywire. The kiss was probably the most passionate one that I had ever felt. For brief second I even felt her stick her tongue in my mouth, causing me to moan involuntarily.

But as abruptly as it started, she broke the kiss and picked up her tray. "You got it sugar, you were never here? Are you sure you don't want to leave. There's a lot more to that kiss you play your cards right."

I was half dazed from the kiss and I think I had turned about as red as I possibly could.

"May…may…maybe some other time."

She smiled coyly and whispered in my ear. "Are you sure, cause, I get off at 11. Then I'll take you to my dream house and fuck you seven ways till Sunday. How'd you like to wake up tomorrow morning with me between your legs? It's the only way to wake up."

I'm feeling stranger by the second and I need to get the fuck out of here.

"I'll think about it. Thank you…bye." I said, just before I turned on my heel and dashed towards the door.

On my way out, I could hear her playful taunt me. "Run now, but you'll be back…"

Before leaving, I paused in the doorway and couldn't help looking at Tori one last time. She looked happy and all admit rather sexy, but I knew there was a profound sadness beneath that smile. That bothered me to no end.

Not wanting Tori to see me and desperately needing to get away from Barbie, I fled the bar.

On the subway home, I pushed Barbie's kiss out of my mind and quickly focused on Tori. This job wasn't the reason she abandoned her music, but probably just consequence of it. It was just another indignity she had to suffer through.

I was half asleep on the couch later when I heard her come home around 2:30. She didn't say anything, but I could hear her make what sounded like a rather pitiful sounding sigh.

We do what we need to survive sometimes, horrible things, degrading things. I can't fault Tori for working there, but I don't like it.

I pretended to be asleep and let her quietly get ready for bed. I didn't even consider asking Tori about that place, she'd be mortified if I did. Not to mention kick me out on the street. Feeling very troubled, I fell into an uneasy sleep.

The mornings after she works at The Playpen, Tori usually sleeps to 11 or 12. After getting up she eats, showers and then runs errands. Sometimes she'll just read in her room.

I felt bad about her working in that place, so I wanted to do something for her and decided to make breakfast for her. I figured things had changed since she let me help her in the kitchen, so I gave it another shot.

I remembered she used to love pancakes, I didn't mind them either, so around 10:30, I made pancakes, eggs, toast the works and just as I was finishing, I sensed a presence behind me.

Turning around, I could see a sleepy looking Tori in the doorway.

I smiled and beckoned for her to come in. "I made breakfast, pancakes, eggs, the whole works. I know we've been making meals together and I thought I'd throw caution to the wind and make something for you again. Before you speak, please just eat it."

"Thank you." Tori said quietly as she went to dish up her plate.

She dished up her plate, then I did mine and we sat down. After a few bites, Tori nodded.

"It's very good."

"No I should be thanking you for letting me stay, you didn't have to."

Tori paused for a moment, a half frown on her face. "So, has he contacted you since that day?"

Just the thought of him churned up about a hundred conflicting emotions, as it always did. "No. I'm doing better with my urges to call him, now they only happen about every 5 minutes; they used to happen about every 3 minutes."

It was a dark attempt at humor, but sadly not that far from the truth.

"Just keep trying."

Tori didn't say much after that and I left her alone. I could however, tell that she enjoyed breakfast. Afterward she insisted on helping to clean up.

I don't know, maybe it was the breakfast I made for her, but the tension in the apartment lessened just a bit more. Over the next 3 days, she got just a bit more talkative and would occasionally ask how I was doing. She usually refrained from offering any advice or support.

Improving things with Tori, made me feel better and got my mind off of numbnuts. I started to have some optimism about things, that was until the next Thursday night.

We were eating dinner when I suddenly said. "I've been wanting to call Cat in forever. Since she's moved to Boston for school, I pretty much lost touch with her. Do you have her number? I could invite her over, it would be like old times."

I had thought that bringing Cat in the situation may help both me and Tori.

I was wrong, dead wrong.

Tori's face immediately flushed red in anger, as she bolted up from her chair and pointed a fork at me.

"DON'T YOU EVER MENTION THAT NAME TO ME AGAIN! LIKE BECK, IF YOU INVITE HER HERE OR TELL HER YOU'RE STAYING WITH ME, YOU'RE OUT. GOT IT!" Tori screamed, with a utterly hate filled look in her eyes.

I would have not expected that rather extreme reaction in a million years. It was baffling; Cat and Tori were good friends.

I could barely comprehend what had just happened and all I could do was nod.

Before I could ask why, she stormed off to her room and slammed the door shut.


	9. A little light

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 9 – A little light**

**No One's POV.**

It was beyond strange, what Jade had just witnessed. A simple mention of Cat caused Tori to suddenly explode in utter rage.

Then the Latina screamed that Cat was not only never to be mentioned, but not told Jade was staying her nor invited over. Once that was done, Tori stormed off to her room and slammed the door shut.

"What the fuck?" Was all the stunned Goth could say.

After a few moments, Jade collected her confused thoughts and started to clean up dinner by herself. Looking down at Tori's plate, Jade could see the Latina hadn't even gotten halfway through dinner.

As she put the dishes in the dishwasher, Jade thought back to her own relationship with Cat. Right after Hollywood Arts, Jade and Beck went to school in UCLA and Cat went to a private Arts college named 3 Oaks University, in Boston.

At first the friends kept up, using email, texts and skype. Jade also know that Robbie and Cat, who had started to date over the summer, continued with a long distance relationship. But soon enough classes, projects, auditions and her turbulent relationship with Beck, caused those contacts to start to become more infrequent. Also thinking back, Jade remembered, that Beck would frequently say they needed to just focus on them and their future.

Jade didn't mean too, but after the first year of college, contact between her and Cat had almost ground to a halt. Jade was too busy trying to keep Beck's bad side to come out.

Half way through their second year, Beck convinced Jade to move to New York because he got a small TV part and they did. Jade by then was in her own private hell and Cat never came to mind.

Sitting down on the couch, Jade realized she hadn't spoken to Cat in almost 2 years. It only made Jade realize that over the last 3 years, Beck had slowly become her whole universe, to the exclusion of pretty much everything else.

Jade shook her head and mentally cursed herself for letting this happen. As much as she wanted to knock on Tori's door, she knew the effort would be futile. Tori would either not respond at all or just blow her top again. Tori would not come out of the room for the rest of the night.

She picked up her phone to call Andre or perhaps Robbie but stopped when she heard movement from Tori's room.

"She might hear me." Noted Jade quietly.

Instead she pulled out of her bag, one of her favorite horror films, 1979's The Brood and watched it.

But she found herself unable to enjoy the classic horror film, as she kept wondering just what happened between Cat and Tori.

Looking back at the untouched keyboard, Jade wondered what, if anything did Cat had to do with Tori's abandonment of music, not to mention her whole changed attitude. It was just another piece of a puzzle that all in all, made no sense.

Laying on the couch, half asleep, Jade could only reflect on how damaged everyone, seemed to be now.

"Nothing makes any sense anymore." Jade said to herself, as sleep closer.

Just before she did fall asleep, she had one final thought, "Then again, maybe it never made any sense."

The next morning was Friday and as usual, when Jade woke up, Tori was eating breakfast . Hoping the Latina would be in a better mood, Jade stuck her head in the kitchen.

"I was going to go to the store after work, go get stuff for dinner, I was thinking of chicken with rice."

Tori looked at her coldly. "I'll decide and make dinner from now on."

Just as quickly, Tori went back to eating her cereal as if Jade wasn't even there. Knowing any further conversation would be pointless, Jade headed into the bathroom to get ready for work.

The whole thing both bewildered and depressed Jade. She had been making progress, which in turn made her feel better, but now a simple mention of Cat had reset Tori back to the way she was on the first day.

Jade found herself obsessing at work all through the day and into the evening. Fortunately, Tori was working at The Playpen so Jade had some time to herself to think.

After some thought, Jade decided to call Robbie, whom she hadn't talked with in over a year and a half.

Jade dialed and after 3 rings, a familiar voice, which sent a chill down her spine, answered.

"Jade, mi amor, I knew you couldn't stay away for ever, you need some Rex loving, I take?"

It was Rex Powers's course, the 2nd to last being on this planet she wanted to hear from. More to the point, his schmoozing instantly pissed Jade off.

"ROBBIE SILENCE REX OR I'LL GET ON THE NEXT JET TO L.A. AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH."

The next thing Jade heard, was the rather panic stricken voice of Robbie. "Ok, Ok? Sorry Jade, Rex saw it was you calling and wanted to say hi, that's all. What can I do for you?"

"I want to know about Cat?"

There was a strange silence on the other end of the line for several seconds, before Robbie answered.

"I take it you haven't spoken to her in a while."

"No, almost 2 years."

"She's changed Jade." Robbie said, with a noticeable hint of sadness in his voice.

"Changed how? Aren't you still together?"

Strangely it was Rex who responded to her query. Even more odd, his voice was rather serious. Sometimes when Robbie didn't want to talk about something, Rex would in his place.

"No Jade, they broke up over a year and half ago."

"What happened?"

"Cat and Robbie were having a nice long distance relationship until about 2 years ago. Cat had made some new friends on campus near the end of freshman year. They belonged to some kind of church group. Robbie had a full time job and didn't get a chance to talk with Cat much that summer, but by the end, Cat had found Jesus. She kept talking about how wonderful her new church was and how Reverend Mike spoke the true word of god. At the same time, she kept going on how evil and sinful everyone was."

Jade was dumfounded. "What?"

"Robbie tried to keep things, going but Cat would criticize him about anything that even resembled sin, Reverend Mike says this, Reverend Mike says that. Eventually Cat told him that he needed to join her church and follow the teachings of Reverend Mike in order for them to continue on."

"Wait a second, Robbie's Jewish."

"Cat told him he belonged to false religion and was damned to hell unless he followed Christ and father Mike. What she said was so hurtful, so mean and insensitive, it broke Robbie's heart. He said he never wanted to talk to her again, hung up and they haven't spoken since. He's since recovered and moved on to someone else."

Jade didn't know what to say or think. It pained to her know that her friend had turned so cruel.

"I'm sorry Robbie. I've had my own problems and didn't know."

"It's not your fault." Responded Robbie, sadly.

"Tell me, is that the reason Tori hates Cat? What Cat did to you?"

"No, it's something else that happened a couple of months after her and I broke up."

"What was it?"

"Why do you want to know? I thought you and Tori weren't talking either. Is there some problem with you and Beck."

The mere mention of that name made Jade shudder. "Never mind that. Just let me know what you know."

"Andre told me, but he's rather protective of Tori, so it wasn't much I'm afraid."

Jade gritted her teeth in frustration. "What then?"

"About 20 months ago, Tori was having some kind of crisis, issue I don't know what. All I know is that she leaned on Cat for support and….."

"And what?"

"I don't know. At that point in the story, he called her an heartless bitch and refused to speak of it any further. The only thing else I know is that last I heard, he said he want's nothing to do with her, I don't want to either. I've tried calling Tori once or twice, but she was a bit distant and said she was busy. She wasn't really all that rude it's that she…."

Jade finished his sentence. "Just wasn't Tori?"

"Yeah, Pretty much. So how are you?"

Jade sighed. "Like Tori and Cat, I don't think I'm really been myself much lately ether."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I. Look Robbie, thanks for the info. I have to go."

Once off the phone, Jade put a frozen pizza in the oven and sat back on the couch which had been her home for the last several weeks and lamented the apparent change in Cat.

Jade knew her as a slightly dimwitted, but very loving and caring person. To say something so heartless and cruel to Robbie, seemed totally alien.

But now Jade had at least another part of the puzzle but at the same time a totally new puzzle. What happened to Cat?

But the question of the hour was what was Tori's crisis and what did cat do when Tori leaned on her for support. All Jade knew is that it was something so horrible that Andre referred to her as a heartless bitch.

Walking to the bathroom, Jade looked at herself in the mirror.

"Is this me?" She said aloud.

Jade didn't have an answer. While away from Beck she still on one level wanted to go back to him. Back to the good times they had, back to when Beck was sober and caring.

Exiting the bathroom, Jade walked to the window. It was now March 1st and the though the snow was still on the ground the cold snap was officially over. The temperature today was a balmy 40 degrees and soon would be getting warmer.

Soon enough there may be even be an opening at one of the woman's shelters, Jade thought. But somehow she began to feel that Tori needed help as much as she did.

Perhaps we can help each other, mused Jade. She would think about that, for a long while.

Some hours later, Jade awoke to the sound of Tori coming home from her 2nd job at The Playpen. It was just past 2 in the morning. Normally Jade would just go back to sleep but instead she sat up.

"Tori."

In the dark she could see the figure of Tori freeze. "Yes." Answered Tori in a weary voice.

"Look, I'm sorry I upset you last night. I had no idea you and…she had problems. If I had any inkling, I never would have mentioned it. I'm just trying to find my way. Again I thank you for letting me stay."

In the very dim light, Jade could see Tori lower her head. "Apology accepted."

Tori took a step and paused. "Chicken with rice would be fine. If you could please pick it up from the store."

"I will."

Jade wanted to say more, and as Tori reached her bedroom door she said. "If you ever want to talk about it. You can."

Half expecting Tori to once again blow up, she braced herself for it.

"I'll keep that in mind, thank you. Goodnight Jade." Was all Tori said before entering her bedroom and quietly closing the door.


	10. An old friend?

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 10 – An old Friend?**

**Jade's POV**

Even though Tori accepted my apology and lightened up a bit, I still didn't sleep well. Granted you can only sleep so well on a couch, but it was made doubly hard by the thought of Cat being such a bitch, to both Robbie and Tori.

I woke at 9 am on Saturday morning, still quite tired. Tori had worked until 2 last night and would almost certainly sleep until 11 or 12. Getting off the couch, in realized I needed coffee. We had coffee, but Tori just bought the el cheapo store brand which I describe as marginally drinkable.

I felt like having some real stuff, from the Jetbrew that was a few blocks down the street. With the recent cold snap, I dared not venture out unless I absolutely needed too. It was warmer today, so I decided to brave the cold.

After showering and dressing quickly, I walked down to the Jetbrew and got for the first time in weeks. Finally I'd drink a decent cup of coffee.

Sitting in a corner, drinking the warm nectar down, I managed to forget my problems for a few moments.

But soon thoughts of Cat and the mystery involved, came back to my mind. I had to know more. I just had too. So taking a chance, I dialed Cat's cell. I wasn't even sure if it was current.

After three rings Cat picked up.

"Hello Jade." Cat answered in her normal cheerful voice. I'll admit that was a bit of a relief.

I wanted to believe she was the same old Cat, but evidence had proven otherwise, so I remained guarded.

"Hi Cat. It's been a while. I thought I'd call you up and see how you were doing."

"I'm doing wonderful, praise god. How are you?"

Uh Oh…

I could ask her about Tori or even Robbie, but instead I thought I'd see how she reacted to my news instead.

"I'm going through some changes right now, so things are a bit uncertain at the moment."

"You need to pray Jade. Pray for God's guidance and read your bible. Please tell me what's wrong, I'll pray for you, reverend Mike says we must pray at least 3 times day. I pray at least 5."

Houston, we have a problem….

"Cat, Beck and I broke up for good."

"Why?" Cat said in a rather shocked voice.

"Because I got tired of him beating the crap out of me when he got drunk, that's why?" Just saying it made me feel a surge of anger.

"What did you do to provoke him?"

What in the fuck did she just say? Oh my fucking god, did she just pin all this shit on me.? She did not actually go there. My blood quickly began to boil.

"What do you mean provoke him? Didn't you hear me Cat? He beat me, more than once." I barked back.

"I heard you Jade. But you must remember your place in the home. To be submissive to the man. He makes the decision, he works the job. You must have done something to provoke him. Obviously you're not being submissive enough to him."

Excuse me, while I bang my head against this table.

I was speechless, which was fine, as Cat promptly rattled off a half dozen bible verses in rapid succession, saying that the way to true happiness was for me to be submissive to my man. Then just as I recovered, she laid into me for living in sin with him. This wasn't Cat at all, it was like listening to a recording of some demented televangelist. Oh did I mention that Reverend Mike came up about every 4th or 5th word.

"Jade your life if full of sin. Only when you accept God's word and follow the teachings of Reverend Mike will you be saved."

I used to say Cat's elevator didn't quite go to the top floor, now it seems to be permanently stuck in the basement. With each passing word, I came closer to blowing my top.

"Is that what you told Robbie?" I retorted sharply.

"He refuses to follow the word of God and teachings of Reverend Mike, He's dammed to hell." Cat suddenly raged.

Blaming me for Beck's shit was bad enough, but the way she tore in to Robbie, seriously pissed me off. I was done with her shit and needed to go back to the reason for my call.

"What about Tori! She needed a friend. What in the fuck did you do to her?" I shouted back.

"SHE'S A MORAL DEGNERATE AND IF YOUR ASSOCIATIING WITH.. "

Her calling Tori a moral degenerate pushed me over the edge. I then cut her off using the most venomous tone of voice I could muster.

"Cat. You've changed, but not for the better. In fact I don't have any idea who in the hell you even are anymore. One last thing, don't you EVER, her you badmouth Tori again. IF YOU DO, I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEART OUT!"

The odd thing about that last threat, I was so angry about her denouncing Tori, that I actually meant it. My reaction was much stronger than I had anticipated. In fact, I don't recall being more utterly livid in my life.

I hung up on her, before she could respond.

It was then I looked up and realized that everyone in this particular jet brew was staring at me. You loudly threaten to rip someone's heart out in public and those kinds of things will happen.

Utterly pissed off and completely disgusted, I glared back at the crowd and left.

Walking home, I vainly tried to make sense of the conversation I had just had and calm down at the same time. She sounded like Cat, but she wasn't cat. The person I spoke with, was a cruel, judgmental, insensitive, crazed religious freak. Once I finally calmed down, I grew somewhat depressed by the fact that one of my oldest friends essentially no longer existed.

Arriving home, I sat down and tried to put together what I knew. In the summer after her first year of college, Cat met some new friends and somehow wound up a crazed freak. A little while after that, Tori has a serious problem.

Something to do with her music, I'd guess. She goes to Cat for support and gets none. In fact she probably gets sermonized and called a sinner.

Already hurting from me burning her and in distress for her current crisis she gets burned once again. That would make just about anyone bitter.

Meanwhile, I get used as a punching bag for Beck when he drinks too much. Not wanting to focus on it anymore, I put on the Scissoring and tried to relax.

Tori woke up at 11:15 and as she always does, went straight into the bathroom for her shower. On Saturdays after she eats lunch, she normally relaxes, sometimes cleans her room, sometimes does stuff on her laptop, but she usually just ignores me. Than at 5:00 she leaves for work at The Playpen and doesn't return home until after midnight.

More and more I wanted the old Tori back. I like it those brief moments when we seem to be able to connect. It helped me forget my own problems with Beck. Realizing what had happened to Cat, only made me want to connect with Tori even more.

Once showered she went into her room and dressed. I just kept thinking about how it must have felt to be betrayed by not only me, but by Cat. I shuddered at the thought. I couldn't make up for what she did, but I could try to make up for mine.

As soon as Tori stepped out of her room she made a beeline for the kitchen, but I stood up and stopped her.

"We're going out to eat, my treat."

Looking a bit surprised she opened her mouth, to protest I presume, but I spoke before she could.

"Tori Please, you let me stay, despite what I did. You've let me help you make dinner, You're hungry, I'm hungry. I think we can set aside our differences and or problems for an hour and get a bite to eat. Besides, with the cold, both of us have been cooped up in here too long. We can walk down to that little diner that's 5 or 6 blocks down the street."

Tori diverted her eyes for a moment then looked back. "OK."

I smirked, probably for the first time in a very long time. "Good, you can even walk 10 feet in front of me so people won't think we're actually together."

"No Jade. That won't be necessary." Tori said softly, as she went to grab her coat.

I thought briefly about our forced play date some years ago at Nozu and smiled. "Everything will go fine, just as long as we don't run into Chad and Allen, I think they're still following us."

Suddenly out of nowhere Tori laughed. It was little more than a brief snort, but still it was a laugh. I don't know why, but just a simple a laugh from Tori, made me feel like a million bucks.

I briefly considered mocking her and say something snarky like, look, Garbo does laugh. Instead I smiled and grabbed my coat.

Though her expression had quickly gone back to a guarded, one, I knew I had brought the old Tori back at least for a second.

You know, what I loved having the old Tori back. It sent a strange jolt through my heart as I then realized just how much I missed my friend.

About a second later as we left the apartment, I felt an almost overwhelming sense of guilt for what I had done. Not wanting to blow my opportunity, I suppressed it and moved to the door.

A few minutes later Tori and I were walking down the street.

"Snow's starting to melt." Noted Tori.

"Yeah."

For the next 20 minutes until we reached our destination we kept talking about the weather and how bad the cold snap had been. It was a rather banal conversation, but at least we were talking and doing something. It helped me recover from my rather painful conversation with Cat.

Arriving at the diner, we sat down and ordered our food. We had run out of weather related topics to discuss so things grew quiet. I was used to these silences by now. I hated them, but I had grown accustomed to them.

So in absence of conversation my mind filled with a number of different things. Beck of course and my continuing struggle to break free of his influence crossed my mind. It was a daily struggle between the side of me that wanted to return and the side that was tired of being beaten. I wonder if this war is ever going to end.

Needed to stop obsessing over Beck I found myself thinking about Tori and her job at The Playpen. Of course thinking about that place reminded me of Barbie. That blonde waitress who seemed very determined to rock my world.

Thinking back I found myself focusing on that kiss she gave me. I was surprised and it lasted about all of 3 seconds, but I'll have to admit, it was different. Not in a bad way different, just different.

I find myself wondering what another one would be like. Thinking about that kiss my mind seemed to slide further in this strange tangent of thought. "I wonder if Tori like kissing with her tongue?"

"Jade!"

Tori's voice jarred me from my thoughts. "Yes."

"Is something wrong?"

"No why?"

"I don't know, just now you were staring straight at me. You had this odd look on your face."

As much as I tried to hide it, my eyes opened wide as I flushed red with embarrassment. "Oh, it's it's nothing."

A smile seemed to briefly flash across her face. "I guess it's nothing then."


	11. All gone

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from Scratch**

**Chapter 11 - All gone.**

**Jade's POV**

The rest of lunch was eaten in what I describe a s pleasant silence. When the check came I grabbed the bill and paid, as promised.

After that we walked home and neither of us said anything. I just kept wondering what Tori was thinking. What she possibly thought of my little moment of embarrassment. As always she plays her cards close to her chest and I simply didn't know.

"Thank you Jade. That was very nice." Tori said, as she hung up her coat.

"You're welcome Tori. Just my way of thanking you for your hospitatlity."

For a moment she seemed to lower her head, looking as if she were about to say something. Instead she nodded and headed into her room.

Feeling full, I laied down and spent the rest of the day relazing and watching TV. Tori spent some time her room, then went grocery shopping, before heading off to work.

Though little was being said, a lot of the tension seemed to be gone.

The next day, Tori spent most of the afternoon in her room. I was tempted to ask her if she wanted to watch something on TV with me, but I still get the impression she's not ready.

The next couple of days were work days, we both worked our jobs and at night I helped her make dinner. We seem to talk just a bit more now while we're doing it. We stick to safe subjects of course.

I've thought a few more times about that kiss with Barbie. I usually, just push the thought out of my mind, but like a weed it always springs back up.

Wednesday was one of my rare weekdays off, so I took the liberty of sleeping in. I was woken up by the sound of Tori's rather plain ringtone.

Hopping off the couch I looked around and spotted the phone on the table by the front door. Tori must have forgotten it. I couldn't complain that someone was calling to early, as it was just after 11:30.

I could have ignored it, but decided to be nice and answer the phone. I could then leave Tori a message. Part of me was just being nosy, I'll admit.

"Hello" I said as I answered the phone.

"Jade, what in the hell are you doing answering Tori's phone." Snapped Trina at the other end.

"Relax Trina, she mistakenly left her phone behind. I was just going to take a message "

"You listen to me Jade. You're just dam lucky, she lets you stay there at all. But just because she lets you stay, doesn't give you the right to touch her things."

It was obvious at this point that Trina was majorly pissed at me.

"Look, I'm sorry."

"Since when are you sorry about anything Jade." Trina practically screamed as she tore into me. "All you ever do is cause pain, pain and misery and now your back to cause my sister even more. You're just damn lucky, I'm in California, otherwise, I'd drag your ass out of there myself and toss your worthless carcass out on the street."

In the old days, I'd just blow off anything the elder Vega said, but today her words seemed to sting. With each harsh word, I felt a bit more of my defenses fall away.

"Why don't you just crawl back to Beck and leave my sister alone. You probably drove him to drink, you probably drove him to all this. As I said, all you ever do is cause misery and pain. You're incapable of anything else. The only reason he may have ever hit you is that you brought it on. You caused all of this. "

That last bit crashed down the last of my defenses and as tears welled up in my eyes, I sobbed.

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"YES YOU DID YOU WORTHESS SKANK! I JUST WISH MY SISTER WOULD HAVE NEVER MET YOU. SHE'D BE HAPPY NOW! BUT ALL YOU'VE DONE IS RUIN HER LIFE AND CAUSE HER PAIN." Trina screamed.

I choked back yet another sob. "I needed a place to stay."

"Jade, just let my sister live her life, she can't with you around. Please, just go."

That said, the elder Vega, hung up the phone.

**No One's POV**

With her defenses gone, Trina's last verbal assault, all but destroyed Jade.

The Goth still holding the phone, mentally broke down and collapsed to the floor in long painful sobs.

Some hours later, Tori arrived home. All day since she left her phone at home, she felt at a loss without it. Not to mention she had missed her weekly phone call from her sister.

Something felt off as soon as she entered the apartment. The lights were off which was odd, as Jade had the day off and as far as Tori knew, had no plans.

Tori then simply assumed that Jade had unexpectedly gone out.

But when she flipped on the lights, she could see Jade lying motionless on the couch.

Again something felt off and walking over she took a closer look at Jade. She was lying on her side, eyes wide open and bloodshot, as if she had been crying She didn't move, nor did she say a word. She looked almost catatonic.

This wasn't right at all, so she shook Jade gently.

"Jade"

"Your phone is on the table by the door. I answered it, I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." Answered Jade in a heartbroken voice.

"Jade, who did you talk to?"

Jade didn't answer.

Having a bad feeling she knew who was responsible, Tori hurried to her phone and looked at the call log. Sure enough, around 11:30 was a short phone call from Trina.

Tori huffed, promptly went into her room and dialed her sister.

"Hello" The elder Vega answered.

"Trina, what in the hell did you say to Jade!" Bellowed Tori.

"I just gave her a piece of my mind that's all."

"Piece of your mind, she's practically catatonic. WHAT IN THE FUCK DID YOU SAY"

Hearing her sister meant business, Trina relented. "I told her she was a worthless human being, she brought her abuse on herself, all she ever does is cause pain and I told her she should just leave!'

"YOU BITCH!"

"I had ever right to say what I said after what she did to you."

"No you didn't. For the first time, in over a year and a half. I'm starting to feel like a person again. Able to look myself in the mirror again, able to make a difference this time. She was getting better, I was getting better and you fucked everything up."

"Oh get off that Tori, you don't owe her anything. Forget what you did 3 years ago. So stop worrying about it. It's in the past."

"I can't forget it and leave Jade alone!" Snapped Tori before hanging up.

Coming out of her room, Tori looked to Jade who was still on the couch. Her first instinct was to just hide in her room, as she always did. She knew however, it would only add further weight to the guild she already bore.

She hated the guilt and she hated herself for what she had done.

"If I don't help her, I'll not only lose her, but myself as well." Thought Tori.

After taking a moment to gather her thoughts and plan her next move, Tori stepped forward and knelt down by the couch.

"Jade, how about we go out for dinner. My treat this time."

Jade sighed. "No thanks."

"Come on. Look, I'm sorry Trina said what she said. She had no right to say any of those things. I chewed her out."

"I deserve it." Muttered Jade.

Tori quickly ran her hand's through her hair. "No you don't."

Jade didn't respond and after a moment of silence, Tori looked at her untouched piano.

"Do you want to know why I don't play music."

Tori thought she never be able to speak of it, but seeing Jade in such a depressed state, somehow made it easer.

Only then did Jade move, slowly getting up.

Looking even sadder, Tori walked over to her keyboard and hit a single key. "This is the first time I've sat here in over a year and a half."

"What happened?"

"Have you heard of Ace decade?"

"Who hasn't. He's the mega powerful music executive/producer/manager. He works with some of the very biggest names in music. They call him…"

Tori finished the sentence. "Mr. Music."

Still looking down at the keyboard, Tori hit a another key and began to tell her tale. "I was in my 1st semester of my sophomore year of college at NYU. I was majoring in music and of course writing songs and sending out demo tapes to the record companies. I lived and breathed music. I thought of it all the time."

From the couch Jade listened intently, taking note of the fact that Tori was struggling to even speak. This was obviously something extremely painful for Tori. For the moment, Jade forgot her own problems.

"Much to my surprise and delight, a demo tape I had sent to his record company caught his attention. He invited me to his office gave me the royal treatment and said he loved my demo. We talked about music for almost an hour. He's in his late 50's so he's been in the business for many years. At the end of that hour he said he wanted to sign and manage me."

For a moment Tori seemed overcome with emotion. "I thought I had made it. I really did."

"You don't have to tell me Tori. This is obviously upsetting you."

Now crying, Tori continued. "He said he'd have the contracts written up and believe me the deal he offered was huge. A multi record deal with him producing me. He also invited me to a party at his penthouse where I could meet lots of industry people, make contacts. As I said, I thought I'd made it. He even said he'd send a limo for me."

Tori wiped a tear and took a moment to compose herself.

"I put on a nice dress and went to the party. It was a lavish party with lots of producers, record execs and several huge names in the music business. He introduced me to a few and showed me around his nice place."

Jade could hear Tori, now crying even more. "In the course of the tour he showed me his bedroom. He said the view was great. The next thing I know he closes the door. I turned and see him began to loosen his tie. Having a bad feeling, I asked what was going on. He told me in no uncertain terms that if I wanted a record contract, I needed to have sex with him right then and there."

"Bastard" Hissed Jade.

"I told him no, that I wasn't going to do that. He simply frowned and told me to immediately leave. He of course said, there would be no record deal. Like it was nothing, he straightened his tie and left to rejoin his guests."

"Then what?"

"I started to leave, but I was so upset. So upset that my hopes had been dashed that just as I got to the elevator to go down, I turned around. I then marched back into the main party area and found him. He happily was mingling with his guests. Before he could say a word, I slapped him in the face and loudly called him a disgusting excuse for a human being. I remember how the whole party atmosphere seemed to vanish as all a strange hush fell upon the room. Soon every person in the room was staring at us. He turned red with embarrasment then seemed to silently fume in anger. I then marched out and went home."

"Good for you."

"No, it wasn't. I soon found that the demo tapes I was sending out, were coming back unopened. People in the music business I tried to contact would never call me back. 3 weeks later, I was hit with a restraining order. He claimed I was harassing him and was ordered to stay 200 yards way. I didn't do anything of the sort. More than that, I found out from a girl in one of my music classes, whose father worked for a record company, that he blackballed me."

An incredelous look appeared on Jade's face. "What?"

"He told everyone in the business, producers, record company exec's, everyone, that I was mentally unstable and if anyone even dared to speak with me, he would not have anything to do with them. Nor would he allow any of his clients to have anything to do with them either. You need to remember, he's literally one of the most powerful men in the music industry. I not only rejected him, but embarrassed him as well. So in return he saw to it, that I would never be able to work in the music industry, ever."

Tori stood up, now looking utterly devastated. "All I've wanted to be was a pop star, a singer, it's been my dream since I was a little girl. And now it's all gone…all gone."

Jade without even thinking got up and went over to Tori, who now as too upset to even speak. Jade felt terrible for what had happened to Tori. She wanted to make it right, make Tori happy again but she couldn't.

All she could do, was to put her arms around the sobbing Latina and hug her tight.


	12. I see you

**Disclaimer, the show Victorious its characters and other associated copyrights are properties of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 12 – I see you**

**Jade's POV**

She cried uncontrollably in my arms for several more minutes. I had thought she had given up her music, but I was wrong. It had been essentially, taken away from her. Tori loved music, it was a huge part of who she was. Without it, she was only half there.

All I could do, was comfort her as best as I could.

Holding her, comforting her, I got this odd feeling of contentment. It only lasted for a few moments, but it was the most content I had felt in years. I didn't read too much into it as I simply assumed I was enjoying the chance to pay back Tori for all the grief I had caused.

After several minutes she abruptly stopped crying and quickly moved back. At the same time, her expression went from vulnerable to one of guarded embarrassment.

Tori wiped her tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so emotional."

"I understand, music is very important to you."

She then turned and moved toward her bedroom door. "I'm tired I need to go to sleep, goodnight."

I wanted her to stay, I wanted to talk more, the need was almost overwhelming, but before I knew it I was once again on the other side of a closed door.

She had closed herself up in her room. In all the weeks, I've lived here; I've never been in or even seen the inside of her room. I believe it's become her sanctuary from the world.

A lot more of what happened now makes sense. She gets record deal, creep music exec makes a pass at her, she slaps him, he retaliates by ruining her name. So I guess at this point, she goes to Cat for support, but for reasons still not too clear, Cat turns on her. Feeling devastated by the loss of her musical career and betrayal at the hands of Cat, Tori drops out of school, gives up on music and turns bitter.

I know I played a part in this little play. Had I not done what I did, perhaps she would have been better equipped to handle the events she went through. She'd been already betrayed once and the second blow must have been fierce. To this day, I can't think of the expression on Tori's face when I denied anything happened, without a pang of guilt. Yet at the same time, I still continue to try and justify what I did, in my mind at least. Beck still has a great hold over me.

While I knew more, it only added more guilt to my already trouble conscious. Of course the co-dependent side of me says, go back to Beck and this guilt will go away.

Knowing I'd not see Tori for the rest of the night, I returned to the couch and again began to watch TV. Thankfully, I found the original 1978 Halloween was on and I managed to lose myself in that. I much prefer this version to the remake. In the original, his reasons for doing what he does are not explained. He's simply a force of evil and that's that. The newer one, gives a background, to Michael, and explains at least partially why he does what he does. It takes away some of the mystery. He's a hell of lot scarier when you don't know what he's about.

But maybe that explains my growing fascination with Tori. I don't know what's behind her bedroom door. In my mind absolutely anything could be behind it. What does she do in there, what does she think, what does she say to herself in her unguarded moments.

I would find myself thinking about that for the rest of the night.

The next morning, I got up at my usual time to find Tori eating breakfast. Most of the time, I went straight into the bathroom to get ready for work, but today I found myself wanting to talk to Tori.

I poked my head in the kitchen door. "Are you ok?"

Tori huffed silently and said, "I'm fine, thank you." in a standoffish tone of voice.

Cold distant Tori was back, I could press her of course, talk about her the horrible events that happened to her, but all she'd do is retreat into her room and close the door.

I'm starting to hate that bedroom door. It's more than a physical barrier, it's keeping us from setting things right.

"Well, if you need to talk or something. I'm there."

Not bothering to even look up from her frosted flakes, Tori mumbled. "I'll remember that."

Feeling a distinct stab of disappointment that I wasn't getting through, I turned and headed towards the bathroom.

Of course in my messed up head, that stupid co-dependent part of me said. "Beck would say hell, he'd probably make you breakfast and take you shopping. You comforted her last night and what does she do in return, oh yeah, Ignore you."

I just told that part of me to shut up and got in the shower.

When she got home from work, she was still cold and distant. She did let me make dinner with her, but she talked only when she needed too and as soon as dinner was cleaned up retreated into her room.

That night I found myself more and more about Tori. What went on inside her head, was there more to her pain that even I know. Why did Cat call her a moral degenerate? Why did I feel so content when I comforted her? She managed to crowd out thoughts of Beck, which wasn't easy.

I just couldn't get her out of my mind.

The next day was Friday and of course she went to The Playpen after her day job. Again if found myself thinking about her. But my mind for some reason kept drifting to her costume at The Playpen or, more specifically lack of it.

I saw her a bit both Saturday and Sunday but as I expected, she stayed in her room. Monday, I found myself wanting to do something with her. So I asked if she was interested in going out for dinner again. She politely declined.

The rest of the week was the same, she was cold and distant, which increasingly didn't sit well with me. I was still struggling with ridding myself of impulses to run back to Beck, but Tori was weighing more and more on my mind. Half the time, I didn't know what I was thinking for feeling.

Friday rolled around again and by 8:30, I had to get out. Tori wasn't home, I was feeling cooped up, so I grabbed my leather jacket and headed out. It was spring now, so my leather jacket kept me warm enough.

I didn't even have any destination in mind. I just wanted to get out. After leaving the apartment, I headed towards the subway and got on the first car that arrived. I didn't even pay attention to where it was going.

I was lost in thought as the car passed station after station. Finally I heard an announcement that the station for Time's square was the next stop. Hearing that, the words, Times square, Playpen and Tori rushed through my mind. Before I even knew what I was doing, I stepped out of the car and made a beeline for The Playpen. Maybe that had been my destination the entire time and I hadn't realized it.

I didn't know why exactly, but I wanted to see her. I hated being alone on Saturday and Friday nights. I told myself I was just checking up on her and that was the real reason. All I had to do was hid in the back and she'd never see me.

"Just one drink and I'll go." I said as I paid the cover and went in.

I had to be crazy to come here, but the second I heard Times square, I just felt drawn to this place.

Entering, the place I was greeted by the sounds of Hot Girls in Love, by the 80's group lover boy. The place was packed tonight, which meant there'd be less of a chance Tori would see me.

I found a spot in the back and scanned the floor until I saw Tori's half naked form, serving drinks. Just seeing her like that, made me feel…well I don't really know. All I knew is that I couldn't look away. I didn't think of Beck when I looked at her.

The area she was working was down near the main stage, so as long as I stayed in the back I'd be safe.

So I watched Tori, fake smile and all, serve drinks. At one point a drunken frat boy grabbed her ass. It took nearly all the willpower I had to keep from going over there and strangling him.

Tori smiled and casually shook her head in warning not to do that again, then went back to serving drinks.

A few minutes later that same frat boy got up and started to head to the bathrooms which were right behind me. He touched Tori, which really pissed me off and I simply could not let it stand.

So as he moved across the crowded floor towards the men's room, I took a look of the path he'd have to take to get there. At one point, he'd have to walk right by three nasty looking biker types. A thought came to mine and with an evil grin, I moved into the crowd. I positioned myself just right and as he was about to pass by the bikers, I tripped him.

Jackpot! I tripped the stupid frat boy and like a bowling pin he tumbled right into the biggest and meanest looking of the trio of bikers. Even better, he caused the huge biker to spill his beer.

Now the frat boy was on the floor, covered in beer at the biker's feet. The biker, nor his friends looked very happy.

"You owe me a beer, college boy" Roared the angry biker.

The frat boy was either dumber or drunker than I thought, as he promptly said, "Fuck you, fatso."

It was about 2 seconds later that the first punch got thrown and with a smirk on my face, I watched as the big biker dude and 2 of his biker friends started to punch him as well.

Sadly, my fun was ruined by 5 enormous bouncers that swiftly descended on the fight, breaking it up. While the biker guys were escorted out, the frat boy had to be carried out as in the minute and a half before the fight was broken up, he had had the shit kicked out of him.

I then looked over at Tori to see one of the dancers point out frat boy as they carried him out and for a moment, a genuine smile appeared on Tori's face.

Just seeing that smile made me feel special.

I stayed in back watching Tori until I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around I could see it was Barbie, who was smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

"Well, well, look who came back. I knew you would." She then handed me a beer, "Have one on me."

Once again she was the hunter and I was the prey. "Uhhh…thanks I guess."

She looked down at Tori and then back to me. "You've watched her like a hawk since you've gotten here. With the exception of brief period of time you took to trip the asshole who groped her. Nice timing by the way."

My mind suddenly seemed to shut down. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Barbie, took her finger and ran it up my neck to my chin, causing me to feel suddenly very warm. "I think I do."

Suddenly her face lit up in recognition. "Oh my god, I know who you are. You're Jade."

"How did you know that!" I said quickly.

"Ohhh…Tori's mentioned her houseguest and described you. I wasn't 100% sure, but now I am."

"What did she say about me?" I literally couldn't say it fast enough.

"Oh…gee whiz Jade. I could talk to her in Biology and ask her if she'd wear your class ring." Barbie, replied mockingly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I fumed. I hate being mocked.

Barbie laughed. "Oh my god, you don't realize it."

"Realize what?"

"That you have the hot's for her. I told you I've seen that look before. You have it bad."

"I DO NOT, I DON'T LIKE GIRLS!"

Before I knew it, I was pulled into yet another tight embrace as she kissed me. Again my mind went haywire and a thousand thoughts and feelings seemed to flow at once.

The most surprising thing about it, the part that shocked me, was what I did.

I let her kiss me.

My emotions were flowing like a raging river and I couldn't help but surrender to the current. A second later when her tongue gently stroked my teeth, my mouth opened on its own accord.

This kiss was longer and I think she was putting as much passion into it as humanly possible. As our tounges met and danced, I suddenly became aware that my loins suddenly felt as if they were on fire. Oh my fucking god, what is she doing to me.

This was no quick smooch like last time, this was an all out makeout session and I was really getting into it.

It was then I moaned in pleasure, I didn't even mean to, but I did and it was only then did she break the kiss. I was both turned on and incredibly dazed.

Barbie, grinned in satisfaction. "You've never really kissed a girl before. Judging from that turned on deer in the headlights look, not to mention that rather sweet sounding moan, you more than liked it. Come on Jade admit it."

My heart was pounding, my body felt like it was on fire and I felt like my head was in a cloud.

"God yes." I blurted out as I turned beet red. I don't even know what I was doing or saying, all I knew that it was the honest truth.

Barbie then kissed me on the cheek. "I'd love to more than anything take you home after my shift and pop your cherry, but I like Tori. She's always been real nice to me. So, I'll toss you back. I can assure you however, you like girls. You just haven't realized it. You like Tori."

Though I wanted to, I couldn't respond. All I was capable of doing is nodding.

"Well, Sugar, I have to get back to work. You're safe here. Tori sticks close to her area and almost never comes up to the back. So she won't see you. I'll leave you to your new found gayness."

Barbie, grinned once again and then left.

I watched Barbie, walk off and then refocused my attention on Tori. My mind was still spinning and wobbling like a top. I liked Tori, I really liked Tori as in go on a date with Tori, as in Kiss Tori like Barbie had done to me.

As I was bombarded by a hundred different and very confusing thoughts and feelings I just kept watching Tori. She was dressed as sexy as hell and only now was I realizing just how much I liked it.

Suddenly I realized the song, I kissed a girl, by Katy Perry began to play. Looking over to the DJ booth, I spotted Barbie who was walking away from it. She winked at me and went back to work.

I had kissed a girl and did I ever like it. Of course that led to an additional question.

Would Tori ever like to kiss me?

**No One's POV.**

Barbie, after getting the DJ to play I kissed a girl, smiled in Triumph. She had broken Jade out of her self-denial and put her on the road to bigger and better things. It was obvious she liked Tori, but did Tori know.

Needing to get her latest drink order, Barbie went to the side bar. Before she could give her order, she felt someone grab her wrist.

It was Tori and she looked just a bit miffed.

"What are you doing kissing her!" Demanded Tori.

Realizing that where they were, Jade couldn't see them, Barbie grinned. ""Your roommate? She needs practice in the kissing department, how about giving her a hand?"

Tori's face practically turned blood red with fury. "WHAT!"

"Calm down Tori. I'm not after your roommate. I was actually going to talk to you about that. Honest and in all the time we've worked together, have I ever lied to you."

"No, you've always been straight with me. How in the hell did she know I worked here? What in the fuck is going on!" Fumed Tori.

Barbie shrugged. "You mentioned she didn't know you worked here, so she must have followed you. This is the 2nd time she's been here."

Tori's jaw dropped. "She's been here before."

Barbie nodded. "Yeah, she was here a few weeks ago. I spotted her watching you. I didn't know who she was, she looked to be into you. She seemed to not want you know she was here, so in exchange for my silence I stole a kiss."

This time Tori looked as if she was going to punch Barbie, causing her to step back. "Whoa, I didn't know who she was. I was just playing with her. You were talking about her in the break room and I see her tonight, once again watching you and then I realize, oh my god you're jade."

Tori's Jaw hardened. "Then why in the hell were you kissing her if you knew she was my roommate."

"Well to prove a point actually."

"What point is that?"

"She had the nerve to deny she liked girls, so I kissed her. It took all about 2 tenths of a second to surrender to it and about another half a second before she started to kiss me back. She practically melted on the spot, the moan she made was icing on the cake. She fell into it like she was a natural. That girl is gay and at the moment, very aware of it."

Tori simply could not believe what she had just been told. It was almost too much. "Melted? Moaned? Gay?"

"Melted, not to mention she readily admitted to liking the kiss. Oh one more thing, that creep that groped you and then tripped right into the bikers who then kicked the shit out of him."

"What about that creep."

"Who do you think tripped him. I was watching her and she practically blew a gasket when she saw you get groped. I watched as she waited until he was near the bikers and tripped him."

Though she was angry at Jade for poking into her business, Tori loved the thought of Jade defending her. "She did that for me?"

Barbie nodded. "Look, just the way you were talking about her the other day, I thought you had a thing for her am I right? That's why I'm telling you this."

Tori sighed and then nodded her head, "I've had a crush on her since high school. I've had this dream of us dating and it blossoming into something really beautiful. It's kind of silly."

"No Tori, it's not silly at all. All the better, she likes you, you like her, no problem."

Tori shook her head. "It's not that simple, she's just gotten out of a horrible relationship and me, I'm an emotional mess."

Barbie put a hand on Tori's shoulder, "Look, life is never simple. It sound like you might just be the right thing for each other."

"You do?"

"Yes, Look I have get back to work, but she doesn't know, that I've told you, she's here. Don't confront her. She's a bit confused and a bid dazed. You'll be better off if you just let her watch you and sort things out in her head. Come to grips with her own sexuality. I have a strong suspicion she'll be watching you the rest of the night."

Having Jade as a girlfriend, was something that deep down Tori had always wanted. Just the fact that Jade was here, gave her hope.

"I'll do that. Thanks Barbie."

Barbie, smiled. "Great, just remember if you two hook up and the word threesome ever comes up. I'm your gal."

Tori giggled. "You really mean that, don't you?"

Barbie picked up a tray of drinks and winked. "You know me all too well."

Barbie quickly vanished into the crowd, leaving Tori alone. For the first time in over a year and a half, Tori felt as if she really had hope for some measure of happiness. For that she was willing to forgive Jade for following her.

"Well she wants a show, let's give her one." Tori said to herself as she picked up her tray of drinks and went to work.

As she went out on the floor, out of the corner of her eye, Tori spotted Jade up in the back. The Goth's eyes were firmly fixed on her with a look, that would best be described as wonder.

Tori of course made no indication she knew Jade was there, but at the same time, made a point to wiggle her ass and breast's a bit more, in the hopes Jade would enjoy it.

Everyone once and a while, Tori would glance out of the corner of her eye to see if Jade was still there. Each time Jade was, just watching her only now she looked rather pleased as if she was enjoying the show. For the rest of the night, Tori worked knowing full well that the eyes of Jade were upon her and she enjoyed every last second of it.


	13. Overthinking it

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 13 – Overthinking it.**

**No One's POV.**

Jade just wasn't sure which scrambled her brain more; the kiss from Barbie or the fact that she realized that was attracted to Tori. Attracted as in holding hands, dating, fun stuff in bed, etc…

Either way, her brain had been very scrambled. Not that she already had trouble with conflicting emotions and what not.

In one way, things were a bit clearer and in another, they were much more a lot less clear. It was quite maddening to the Goth.

After Barbie walked away from the DJ booth, Jade turned her attention to finding Tori again. She had to see her . "Maybe seeing her would help me confirm my feelings or help me dismiss them." Thought Jade.

But Jade didn't see Tori and wouldn't for several more minutes. Her absence would cause Jade to worry and that only made jade wonder why she was worried. By the questions in the Goth's head were multiplying like rabbits.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Tori again reappeared on the floor, Tray of drinks in hand. A huge sense of relief came to Jade as Tori was once again in view. As Jade watched Tori, She quickly noticed a bit of an extra spring in her step and her smile seemed a bit more genuine. It only made Jade's focus on Tori, more intense.

Once Jade laid eyes on Tori, she literally couldn't look away. It also made her wonder just why she attracted to her at all. Well at the moment she was showing a lot of skin and naturally that alone got Jade thinking a lot of things; new things. She'd wiggle her butt from time to time and now that Jade was aware of my feelings, she found it strangely pleasing.

She felt it, she really felt it an attraction to Tori. It was new and wonderful and scary all at the same time. Beyond the physical, was it her kindness, her goofy sense of humor, what? Jade simply didn't know.

For a half an hour she covertly watched her, trying vainly to make some sense of all the questions and feelings that were pulsing through her. There was so much to digest and come to terms with, not to mention a thousand new questions, Jade barely knew where to start. But the answers weren't coming, which only angered and frustrated the Goth. Jade was so intent on her thoughts and Tori, that she nearly jumped out of her skin when Barbie tapped her on the shoulder.

"FUCK, you scared me half to death." Jade hissed with an accompanying, angry glare.

Barbie giggled in return which only furthered Jade's frustration "Looks like someone's getting a bit tense. Relax Jade, All those negative waves; you're seriously killing the vibe here."

"I can't figure it out, why am I here, why do I like Tori of all the girls that I know, why didn't I pick up on this sooner, why…." Jade started to rant in utter frustration, before, Barbie put her hand over Jade's mouth.

"Jade stop, you're trying to figure it out all at once. Don't even try, cause you're not going to succeed and the only thing you'll wind up with is probably a massive headache. These things take time, it did for me and it will for you. I'm beginning to regret throwing you back for Tori's sake."

Only then did Barbie, take her hand off of Jade's mouth, allowing her to speak.

"Why!"

"Because I have half a mind to take you in the bathroom and give you the fucking of your life, maybe then you'll be able to relax and don't bother to think you'd be able to resist me, you wouldn't."

The strange thing about that statement, is that Jade was fairly certain, that is precisely what Barbie would have done if she was able to.

"What the hell am I supposed to do then?" An exasperated Jade said.

Barbie, looked up at the ceiling for a moment, while putting a finger on her chin. "Hmmm…you're in a bar that has lots of naked girls and scantily clad waitresses, including one you have feelings for. Why don't you do what everyone else here is doing and just drink some drinks and enjoy the show."

"Huh?"

"You like watching Tori, can you at least answer that?"

"Of course, you're the one that got me started with this stuff." Jade sputtered.

From her tray, Barbie put a full shot glass and a beer on the railing next to Jade. "Here's what you do, you take this beer and shot of 151 and simply enjoy watching Tori. Just enjoy it and stop analyzing it. Maybe just maybe, you'll start to get some answers. You're over thinking it. It's like an art museum; you don't have to know a fucking thing about the paintings or the artists to enjoy the pictures themselves. Tonight, just appreciate her, nothing else."

Jade had to admit that Barbie was right, as she was stressing herself by trying to digest this all at once. Jade grabbed the shot, quickly downed it, took a deep breath and exhaled.

"You're right."

A rather pleased looking smile appeared on Barbie's face. "Chalk one up for the busty blond with a body that won't quit."

"She still doesn't know I'm here?"

Barbie shook her head. "No, she's focused on her job and as I said, she's working the tables near the main stage, she won't come into the back, that's mine and Gwen's area. Look I have to get back to work, remember just relax."

It was a lot to digest, too much to digest in too much and thanks to Barbie, Jade knew that she didn't need to figure it out.

Knowing what she needed to do, Jade took a sip of her beer and turned her attention to Tori. This time she didn't bother to think why she liked Tori, or anything else for that matter. Jade was used to being angry, irritated, and easily bored, it was almost second nature to her, but she was amazed how easy it was to watch Tori.

Jade found it all to easy to watch Tori as she skillfully balanced her tray of drinks, all the while dodging crowd and grabby drunk customers. Jade studied every bit of her from her long brown hair, to her smile to her legs. She had seen them before of course, but now she had a new perspective.

More importantly Jade dropped her own defenses and let herself be mesmerized by Tori's beauty. For the first time, she truly appreciated beauty that was in front of her. Time passed, the crowed moved around her, but Jade soon became unware of those things. The only thing in her universe was Tori. Was it love, was it lust, was it a mere fancy, Jade didn't care, all she knew is that she couldn't look away.

Finally her spell was broken by the bartender calling last call. Looking up at the clock, Jade could see it was just past 1:30 and she needed to get home.

Jade turned while taking one last look said softly.

_"Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight!_

_For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."_

It was a line from Romeo and Juliet, a play she had done in freshman year at Hollywood arts.. The line itself was the very first thing that Romeo said upon laying eyes upon Juliet, as he had been stricken with love at first sight. Though she was very unsure of what this all meant or could lead, to the line seemed particularly fitting.

That said, Jade turned and headed towards the exit.

A few minutes later, Barbie, tapped Tori on the shoulder, "You're admirer just left. I saw her on the way out."

Tori turned and smiled. "She was here watching me the whole night. She had this look of wonder on her face."

"I know, at first she was all trying to figure it out and in the process stressing herself silly."

"Oh no." Tori said with a look of noticeable concern.

"I told her to stop thinking about it and just enjoy the show. Just admire you and not to think about it. I think you two are on the right track. I told her to just take it one step at t time."

Tori's smile faded. "I can only hope, we've both got issues and there are things that could easily bring all of this to a dead stop, no actually destroy everything between us."

"That bad…huh!"

"She's got an ex-who liked to knock her around, the problem is she's still very co-dependent about it. Part of her wants to go back and up to now, she's always gone back. Then there's me, besides, my recent troubles, I still have a hard time looking myself in the mirror."

Barbie's face took on a rare serious look. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! Look I've got a tray of drinks to deliver. Thanks for taking care of Jade for me."

"Boy do you two need it bad. Granted I'd to the exact opposite, but you need to just take is slow."

"I will"

About 45 minutes later, Jade was lying under the blanket on Tori's couch, vainly trying to sleep. Out of the club, she was inundated by all the worries, emotions and questions she had managed to push away. Even her desire to return to Beck had returned with a vengeance.

Alone in the dark, Jade felt even more troubled and confused than before. It was then she heard the key in the lock turning, meaning Tori had gotten home from work.

Not sure what to say, Jade closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. Tori however, knowing Jade was at the club, strongly suspected Jade was still awake.

Tori was also somewhat troubled. Granted she had real hope for the future, she also knew there were several very real obstacles in the way.

Tori decided to play along and just do as she always did when she came home from The Playpen, go to the bathroom and go to sleep. She wanted to say so much more, but like Jade was at a loss for words.

A few minutes later after coming out of the bathroom, Jade could hear Tori slowly open her bedroom door and knew that in another moment, it would close once again as it always had. But Jade knew that if she ever wanted to move forward she needed to act in spite of her emotional baggage and at least try to act on the new feelings that had surfaced.

"Stop being a coward and do something West!" Jade quickly thought.

"Hey Vega!" Jade called out a moment later.

Tori had suspected Jade was awake, but was still rather surprised that she had said anything.

"Did I wake you! Sorry if I did." Responded Tori, acting as if it were a normal night.

"No, I was just up late watching tv and just lay down a short while ago."

"Ok….do you need anything. I was about to go to bed?"

Jade found her words suddenly stuck in her throat and it actually to her a moment to get them out.

"Do you want to do something tomorrow?"

In the dark, unseen by Jade, Tori couldn't help but smile. "Like what do you mean?"

"We can hit the mall like the old days. I know we've not been much more than roommates, but I think it may be nice change of pace. Besides, with the cold winter and it finally being spring, I think be good to just get out for a bit. I'd understand if you don't want to."

Jade felt very awkward about asking Tori just to go to the mall, even more so than the previous time she asked Tori to breakfast. Jade, wasn't used to this uncertainty and actually hated it, she was moving in new territory and had no idea if Tori would want to do anything with her at all.

"Sure. How about we talk about it when I get up."

Now it was Jade's turn to smile in the dark. "That sounds fine. Good night."

"Good night Jade." Tori said before vanishing into her room.

Tori once in her room, said a hopeful prayer that this could lead to something. Of course she had the advantage as she knew Jade was more interested than a simple afternoon out. She would play it slow and hope to god, the old skeletons would stay in the closet where they belonged.

Outside on the couch, Jade was relieved that Tori said she was interested in going out. At the same time, she actually felt a little like she was betraying Beck for doing so. Again Jade found herself cursing her co-dependent nature. It was all to easy to watch Tori from afar in a crowded bar, interacting with her and making something happen was infinitely more complex and difficult.

Jade sighed. "Come on, even if she did like girls, it's not like I have any chance. I humiliated her in front of her father and made her look like a liar. It's probably pointless."

Her mind no less troubled, Jade then turned over, closed her eyes and tried again to go to sleep.

**The line from Shakespeare Jade recites, is from Romeo &amp; Juliet – Act 1, Scene 5. **


	14. My old self

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 14 – My old self**

**Jade's pov**

I woke the next morning, about 10 am, with a huge headache. It wasn't really a hangover, as I only had one shot and 2 beers the previous night. I think it was due to an stress and an overtaxed mind. No one was around and Tori's door was closed so she was still asleep.

It was Saturday and at least I didn't have to work. As I made my coffee in an attempt to wake up, I again vainly tried to make sense of what happened the previous night. Doing so, only seemed made my headache worse.

Once I had my coffee I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Thankfully I found a channel showing the 1971 horror film the Abominable Dr. Phibes, with Vincent Price. Not quite the scissoring I've always found Vincent Price, really fun to watch. In the movie, Vincent Price plays a guy who kills the doctors he blames for his wife's death, in the manner of the 7 plagues of ancient Egypt.

I know I had asked Vega to do something today, but I was pretty sure by now, she'd change her mind. Why in the hell would she want to, after all I've done.

About an hour later, Tori came out of her room, messy hair, duck pajamas and all. I've always gotten a strange jolt every time I see Vega for first time each day. Now I think I know why.

"You still want to go out to the mall and lunch Jade?"

I wasn't quite expecting that. "Uh..Sure."

Tori made and odd smile and put her hands on her hips. "Ok then, then let's hustle. As I recall you were the one that always got on me for not being ready to go out, I'm going to let you shower first and I'm still going be ready before you."

I'm sorry, did she just challenge me. If there was one thing that could make me forget my headache and bring me out of my funk was to challenge me. Again it was a brief glimpse of the Tori of old, which was a welcome change. I knew full well it wouldn't last, but regardless, I sneered at her and hurried myself into the bathroom to start to get ready.

I hopped in the shower, and finished by bathroom stuff in record time. I then left the bathroom to get dressed and put on make up while Tori showered.

I mangaged to get ready about 3 minutes before Tori and feeling briefly like my old self, I took a second to gloat.

"You will never be ready before me, I will always be ready before you. You are simply too slow."

Tori smiled briefly, but soon that reserved look came upon her face, much to my disappointment. "How about we go to the Time warner center, they've got lots of shops and places to eat nearby."

I said fine and within minutes we were out the door. In the old days we had done things all the time, though that most often happened when I was on the outs with Beck.

We arrived at the mall and started to look around. Neither of us said much and what talking we did do was confined to safe subjects, such as the weather and the like. I had no idea what was going on in Tori's head or even why she agreed to go out with me in the first place, plus I had my own demons to wrestle with. It all felt very awkward.

After looking around for a bit, we went to the food court and sat down. We ate largely in silence until Tori asked a question that made me cringe.

"Do you still have feelings for Beck?"

I'm not sure why she asked that question, out of the blue. We had stuck to safe things until now and my increasing discomfort became obvious.

Looking embarrassed Tori shook her head. "I'm sorry I asked that. It was a stupid question. You don't have to answer it."

"Yes." I said with a straight face.

Tori furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Yes, what."

"Yes, I still have feelings for him. It's not easy for me to say that or even talk about it, but yes I still have feelings for him, even after all he's done and further more I have to struggle every day with my constant urge to call him and I hate myself for it. It's like any addiction, I just have to stay strong and break it."

Tori nodded, looking like she understood.

I had to be honest, if I didn't I would get nowhere for sure. Not that I really have an chance. I have feelings for Beck and Feelings for Tori. I want the feelings for Tori, I don't want the others.

Since we were being honest, I thought I should try to relieve some of my guilt. I could officially apologize for what I had done 3 years ago.

"Tori, about the party, and what you did and me denying…." I started to say before, I stopped speaking, once I saw Tori's immediate reaction to me mentioning the party. Her whole body seemed to stiffen and at the same time her face seemed to drain of color.

"Could…could we not talk about this anymore. I'm sorry I brought it all up." Tori said in a shaky voice.

"Fine." I said with a nod.

I had really wanted to apologize, but Tori shut down any talk of it instantly. I know I had humiliated her in front of her father, but I was the one that was assaulted. I guess I was surprised by the severity of her reaction. Perhaps the pain of being made to look like a liar went deeper than I thought.

We finished eating lunch in silence and afterward, returned to our window shopping. The rest of our outing was even more awkward than before lunch.

Arriving back home around 3 o'clock, Tori politely thanked me and said she would be taking a nap until it was time to leave for work at 5 Pm.

I said you're welcome and watched her once again retreat into her room. I had hoped that we'd maybe not connect, but at least had a fun time. I feel drawn to her, but from today's experience, I feel as if nothing will happen of it. I ended up feeling depressed. I miss the old Tori, I miss the old me.

Some two hours later Tori emerged from her room, while I was watching TV.

"I'm heading off to work, Have a good night Jade."

"Good night Vega!" I said, not bothering to look away from the screen.

A few hours later I was once again at The Playpen. I was depressed and discouraged to be sure, but that didn't stop me from wanting to see Tori at work. I simply couldn't resist.

I arrived just after 9 pm at my usual spot near the back of The Playpen. It was a night like any other, with the place pretty much packed.

A few minutes after arriving Barbie, wearing an inviting smile, glided up. "Well, well, our little voyeur has returned."

I glared at her with an accompanying growl, not being in the mood for her frivolity.

Barbie put her hands up and backed off a step. "Sorry about that, how about I get you a drink to calm you down. Though I must say, you look mega ultra-sexy when you're pissed off. Another glare like that and I may have to go off somewhere and…..relieve myself."

I wasn't sure how to take that, so I decided to let it pass by. "Just get me a beer. Any kind of beer."

Barbie, nodded and quickly vanished into the crowd.

Alone again I returned my attention to Tori. I was so easy to just watch and admire her. I could do it all day. Actually talking an interacting with her was something different.

I think one of the reasons I like watching her here, besides the fact she's half naked, is that she acts very much like she used to in high school. She's all smiles and very perky and more I think about it, the more I miss the old Tori.

A few minutes later, Barbie reappeared with a bottle of import beer. "Here you go, this one's on me, the rest you'll have to pay for. So are you making any progress?"

"We went out to the mall today, liked we used to, but it was really awkward and strange. Neither of us is who we used to be, it's just kind of hard, connecting with her at all."

"Well you obviously really like her. I'd say keep trying. Here's an idea. You say you're not your old self right."

"Yes."

"Well Tori's said you're an actress. If you can't be your old self, than simply act like your old self. Like it was a part in a play or something. It may help you both connect with your old self and perhaps with Tori."

I thought about it for a second and then realized, that was actually a really good idea.

"You know, I think I'll try that." I said with my trademark smirk. I rarely smirk now a days.

Barbie smiled and then returned to work.

Like the previous night, I stood in the back and quietly watched Tori for several hours, before leaving. The strippers, though very good looking, weren't all that interesting to me. I simply wanted to see Tori. The more I watched, the more I wanted to connect with her. Connect is an odd word, but that's how I felt.

The next day, I asked Tori if she wanted to go to the movies. I even offered to let her pick the movie. Much to my surprise she took up my offer and we went out.

I thought about Barbie's advice and decided to act bit more like my old self. Just ignore all the thoughts in my head and just be old me. It was odd, having to act like the way you used too, but surprisingly an opportunity, came up just after the movie started.

We were the Mad Max movie, and in front of us were three teenage girls all phones out and texting. All three were well dressed and looked like they had money. The movie had just started and they kept going on with the phones, full force.

Now days, I'd just glare at them, but that's not what the old Jade would do.

"Jade we can just move." Tori said, noticing my annoyed expression.

I pulled out my biggest pair of scissors and tapped the girl on the left, on the shoulder. She turned and looked at me as if I was some kind of bug.

"What do you want!" Sneered the girl.

"You to put the fucking phone away, that's what."

The girl instantly scoffed. "Mind your own business, freak"

Her friends quickly smiled at each other in triumph.

Being, or at least acting like my old self, I stood up and bellowed furiously. "Put away the fucking phone's NOW!"

There eyes' went wide in fear as I must have scared them. My fun however, was spoiled as an usher came right up.

"Ladie's put the phones away. "

The three girls grumbled and put their phones in their purses.

He then looked to me. "Please be quiet."

The old me would not tolerate this and I just sat down, waited and carefully plotted my next move.

About halfway through the movie, I noticed that all three girls had put their purses, along with their coats on the same seat next to them and an idea came to mind.

Right before the movie ended I got two large sodas and sat down.

Tori leaned over. "Jade what are you doing with those sodas."

I smirked. "When I say run, run!"

"Please Jade, don't" Tori silently pleaded.

Right at that moment, the movie ended. It was time. Quickly I pulled the tops off of both sodas, stood up and poured the entire contents of both sodas into all three rather expensive looking purses.

Then out came my scissors and I cut the straps on all three, before the three shocked girls could react.

"RUN!" I shouted, as I took Tori's hand and dashed for the exit.

"It's ruined!" I heard on of the girls scream, just as we ran out the door.

I held Tori's hand until we were out of the theatre and a few doors down. I felt great, truly alive. I let go only when we stopped.

"Jade, why did you need to do that, That was mean. Those girls put their phone's away. Now, you've ruined not only their phones, but their purses and everything in them." Tori quickly scolded as she waived her finger in my face.

Feeling great I smirked once again. "Come on Vega, you enjoyed it. You enjoyed the look of horror on those three twit's faces."

Tori put her hands on her hip and frowned. "It was mean!"

I inched in closer to her. "Come on….you liked it. Admit it Vega."

Surprisingly, she broke quickly and smiled. "Ok, I liked it. But it was still mean."

I slapped her on the back, "That's the spirit. Come on Vega, let's get something to eat."

Tori cocked her head. "You're buying?"

I nodded and pointed to a Chinese restaurant across the street. "Exactly as you put it, You're buying."

We went to the restaurant and though a lot of things were still on my mind, I acted like I used to; snarky comments and even an insult. Tori responded by acting largely like her old self and I think we both had a good time. We talked of old times, though any mention of Beck or the party was carefully avoided.

I didn't know what it all meant, what Tori really thought or if I even had a chance. But for at least a little while, I felt like I did.

Time will tell.


	15. Out in the open

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from Scratch **

**Chapter 15 – Out in the open.**

**No One's POV.**

The pair crossed the street, ate at the Chinese restaurant and had a good time. Jade made a point to keep acting like her old self, even if she didn't really feel that way.

"I used to pride myself on the terror I caused, look at me. I was Jade, a force to be reckoned with. Now I have to force myself to be mean to people. How pathetic." Jade thought to herself as they ate.

During the meal they talked of their forced playdate and compared the food to Nozu. Both concluded it wasn't any better. But still they had a good time.

After coming home, Tori looked to Jade.

"It was mean what you did to those girls and you were nasty to the waitress."

"She sucked rocks, my 85 year old grandmother could have done better and she's in a wheelchair." Jade interjected.

Tori, not liking the interruption, huffed. "But I was saying, beyond that, I had a good time. Thank you."

Jade smiled. "You're welcome. It's almost 4 pm, what are you going to do for the rest of the day?"

"I'm going to lie down for a bit, I'm just a bit tired."

"Ok, have a good nap." Jade said as she plopped down on the couch.

A moment later, Jade quietly watched Tori as she walked into her room and closed the door.

Jade let out a sigh. "It was fun while it lasted."

The rest of the night went as it did so normally, Tori emerged from her room about 6:30 and helped Jade make dinner. Afterwards they ate and as soon as dishes were cleaned up, Tori went back to her room for the evening. Feeling pessimistic, Jade wondered if again her efforts were in vain. But then she thought back to her earlier self.

"Old me wouldn't give up so easy. West….Keep it up."

The next day Monday, Jade wondered what she could try to keep building things back up. Then it came to her a simple walk. So that evening during dinner, Jade asked.

"Now that it's warmer, I was thinking of taking some evening walks. Just around the neighborhood. When we've got dinner cleaned up, would you like to join me."

Much to Jade's delight, Tori's face seem to light up. "I've read that taking a walk after dinner is a good way to get your metabolism going. It also helps work off diner."

So that night they took a short walk. It was a nice warm night and little was actually said. While both women were troubled and had much on their minds, the quiet walk helped them put those troubles aside for a short bit.

At the end of the walk, Jade thanked Tori for going. Tori promptly expressed interest in doing so again.

Another changes was made the next day, Jade had remarked that and old Fred Astaire movie, Top Hat, was going to be on TV. Tori for the first time asked if she could watch it with Jade.

Over the next several weeks, things began to change. More and more Tori would spend time with Jade watching TV or talking. They took walks three times a week and started to do things. Jade kept up her plan to act like her old self, even if it annoyed Tori.

But the Latina seemed to respond by more and more acting like her old self.

Jade of course, kept going to The Playpen on the weekends to watch Tori work. Though she enjoyed watching Tori, it only made clear the fact that while they were rebuilding their friendship, Jade had no idea if Tori was really interested in anything else.

There was another thing. Jade avoided talk of Beck and Tori did the same. It made it easier to ignore her remaining feelings for him. But Jade did want to at least make amends for what she did the day after the party. Recant her story of the rape and in the process humiliate Tori.

It weighed like a stone on Jade's conscience. However 3 separate times Jade attempted to breach the subject and 3 times, Tori instantly shut down the topic. Each time Jade brought it up, Tori would be distant for 2-3 days afterward.

Jade couldn't figure out why Tori would not let the subject come up. Jade saw it as a potential obstacle to them moving forward and with each passing day, the guilt seemed to weigh a bit more.

By late-June, it had been several weeks since that day at the movie theatre and things were very much feeling like old times. Jade however began to get restless. The closer she drew to Tori, the more she wanted to tell the Latina how she felt. She still was very unsure of her sexuality, but knew that she truly wanted to explore a potential relationship with Tori. Jade felt the pull more and more. She didn't know how Tori would react. Jade did ask a few questions about Tori's dating life in New York, but it seemed to be a question that Tori didn't want to discuss. All Tori said was that she dated here and there and it never worked out.

All of this made Jade more and more anxious. She knew she could make a move and if Tori was not receptive it could ruin all she had rebuilt. Jade loved having Tori as a friend again and she was truly afraid of losing it.

Jade even began to wonder if she was doing the right thing by watching Tori at work. It was very stalkerish and it began to bother Jade.

Jade of course hid her rising anxiety behind her old façade and it seemed that Tori was none the wiser. More and more it plagued Jade how to proceed or if she even should.

After a long week, Friday night found Jade at The Playpen. As usual, she was in the back her normal spot, watching Tori.

Near the end of the night, Barbie walked over to Jade, only to notice the Goth had a rather sad expression.

"Why the long face Jade."

Jade shook her head. "I don't think I'm going to come back her after tonight."

Barbie furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Why, you really like her."

"I do, but it's so complicated. We're reestablished our friendship, but we're still very damaged people. I like her a lot and I want to tell her that, but I just can't run the risk of ruining our friendship. More and more this simply doesn't feel right, being her, spying on her."

Barbie listened carefully and put her hand on Jade's shoulder. "You're too afraid of losing what you have to even try to move further. Even being here, you see as a threat to what you've gotten back. Yes?"

Jade nodded. "I've been having trouble sleeping the last few nights. No one's been able to get under my skin so thoroughly. I just need to work on keeping what I have."

Barbie flashed a sympathetic smile. "Tell you what, I've got a break coming up in a few minutes. I'll get you a drink and we can talk. Perhaps we can come up with something to help you."

Jade sighed. "No. I think I'll just leave its hopeless and I'm only going to screw things back up. I've hurt her once, badly and I don't want to do it again. I've got to think of what I want to do. Stay in New York or maybe go back home."

Barbie, poked Jade in the chest. "At least let me get you one for the road. You've been good to Tori and have really helped her out of her shell. I owe you that."

"Fine." Jade relented.

"Don't move. I'll be right back." Barbie said as she drifted into the crowd, towards the front of the club. There she covertly motioned to Tori that she wanted to speak to her out of Jade's sight.

Tori nodded slightly and moved to the corner by the side bar where Jade couldn't see, where Barbie was waiting.

"What's up Barbie?"

Barbie raised a fist to Tori's face. "I ought to slug you. I've been telling you for weeks to let Jade know you're into women."

Tori demurred. "It's not easy and we've just been enjoying being friends again."

"Look I know that, but from what she's said and how she looks, she's on the verge of giving up hope. Not to mention she terrified of messing up your renewed friendship. It's really bothering her. She even feels guilty about coming her. She says she's not coming back."

Tori's face fell. "No…I didn't want that. I've been too afraid, there are things that still can come between us, I mean really come between us."

"Look Tori, I get it. You're damaged and hurt, she's damaged and hurt. I think you really need to risk telling her. I know it's not easy for you to talk about, but this is really starting to eat her. You two can really help each other."

"You really think?" Said Tori with a pensive look.

Barbie took a drink from the bartender and placed it on Tori's tray. "Take her this drink. You talk to Jade now, before she leaves. Stacy and I will help cover your section."

Barbie leaned in close. "Go and get that beautiful pale goddess, because if you don't, I WILL. NOW MOVE!"

Gathering her courage, Tori smiled. "I will."

In the back of the club, Jade scanned the crowd for Tori, but was unable to see her.

"Damn it Vega. Where are you?" Cursed Jade.

"Right behind you." Came the curt reply that caused Jade to freeze.

Knowing she had been busted, Jade slowly turned around to see Tori. The Latina had an unreadable expression that only made Jade more nervous.

"I…I…can explain…."

A look of anger flashed across Tori's face. "Explain that you followed me and have been coming here every Friday and Saturday night for the last two months. Watching me, dressed like this, work. I've known for weeks you've been coming here."

Jade's only reply was an increasingly shocked expression.

"Yes Jade I knew. Barbie is one of my best friends. Barbie busted you. Tell me, do you like me in this short skirt, fuck me boots and no top, other than the small pasties covering my nipples?"

Jade was starting to freak out. "Uhhh…"

Tori huffed in displeasure. "Uhhh…is not a proper answer. Yes you like watching me half naked or No you don't like watching me half naked. "

"Yes." Squeaked Jade.

Looking to be gathering her thoughts, Tori took a deep breath. "You want to know why I hate Cat so much."

"I don't see what this has to do with….."

"It does, do you want to know, because it's not easy for me to tell the story, hear it now or never."

"OK."

"I had just found out that Record exec, Ace Decade, not only took a restraining order out against me, but also singly handedly made sure that no one in the music industry would talk to me ever. Naturally I was devastated. So much so, I dropped out of school. What's the point of majoring in music if you have no chance for a career? Follow me."

Jade could tell that Tori was having a very hard time telling the story. It was as if Tori had to struggle to get each single word out. Jade knew this was important to she listened intently.

"I needed someone to lean on. I really needed someone. So I called Cat and asked if I could come and visit. I mentioned I had a problem and needed a friend. We'd talked occasionally, but not much lately. She said of course and invited me to stay with her in Boston for the weekend. I packed my gear and took the train to Boston."

Tori took a deep breath as a look of pain registered in her eyes. "She met me at the station and gave me a big hug. It was like old times. She did talk about God and that reverend a lot and talked about her new church group. Still she was very supportive. We had dinner and I told her what happened. She was very sympathetic and I felt better for the first time it happened. A bit later at her apartment…"

Tori sighed and appeared to choke up. "She happened to ask if I had a boyfriend and what he thought of it. I told her that I was a lesbian. Yes Jade, a lesbian. It was like someone flipped a switch. She started to curse me, said I was a dirty whore, damned to hell. She told me that I deserved what happened to me and it was God's divine punishment for turning my back on him. For a 20 full minutes she screamed at me, telling me that I was a worthless, filthy, immoral, human being, who by simply being in her apartment, contaminated it. She then kicked me out and told me never to talk to her again."

More tears ran down Tori's face. "I needed a friend, I really did and she stabbed me in the back. I caught the last train home to New York that night and cried all the way home. "

Jade suddenly felt terrible. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Tori closed her eyes, wiped her tears and took a minute to compose herself. Only then did she look back at Jade.

"I'm gay Jade. I'm gay and I know that you kissed Barbie. You found out you liked woman and you like me. I think you like me a lot. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's hard for me."

This was all too much for Jade and for a moment she had to think. "I've been scared. I was afraid of messing up our friendship." Plus I didn't think…

Tori interrupted her with a weary smile. "You were my type? Yes Jade, you are exactly my type. I've had giant crush on you since high school. You hurt me and still I took you in. I did because I liked you. Now since were confessing. What do you want?"

Jade nervously bit her lip. "I'm still confused and pretty messed up, but I'd like to maybe go on a real date."

Tori kissed Jade tenderly on the cheek. "You can have that one on credit. The rest you have to earn. You can start Sunday night. Got it?"

Jade smiled. "Yes."

"Look, we've got a lot to talk about, but I have to get back to work. I'll see you at home. Here's a drink. Later."

"Thanks."

A minute later, Tori tapped Barbie on the shoulder. "I told her and we have a date for Sunday."

"Cool." But Barbie's enthusiasm quickly faded, seeing the Latina actually looked quite worried. "What's wrong. You have a date. Everything will be fine now."

"Too much that can go wrong, especially if Jade…..nevermind. Thanks for helping. I've got drinks to serve." Tori then hurried off, tray of drinks in hand.

Jade was excited and very nervous as well. This was all new territory for her and of course Beck always lurked in the back of her mind. She hadn't heard from him since that day at the hospital, but still she felt torn. He abused her but loved her too and part of Jade missed that. Pushing those thoughts aside, Jade finished her drink and started to leave.

As she headed towards the door, Barbie quickly blocked it. "You've got a date with Tori, you plan to bring her flowers right?"

Jade blinked twice and said blankly. "Flowers?" She hadn't even thought of that.

"You are dating a girl, and unless you have forgotten, girls like flowers. Tori loves roses. So you will buy her roses and make her feel special. Understand?" Barbie commanded.

"OK…OK!" Jade said, putting up her hands.

"Now get out of here."

Jade left the club and as she did, a thought came to mind. "She likes me, she has a crush on me, and she's willing to not only reestablish friendship, but date me. But why won't she discuss or let me apologize for the day after the party. If it was nothing, something she didn't care about, then it would be no big deal. But it is a big deal. She won't discuss the incident at all. It doesn't make any sense."

Before she had more time to think about it, she had an unexpected feeling of guilt for wanting to date Tori and not Beck. It was that part of her deep down that still clung to Beck. That part that Jade hated, yet it was part of her; a part which refused to go away.

All of it added to Jade's worries and anxieties. Jade had hope for some real happiness, but deep down she couldn't help but wonder, if it were just an illusion.

She certainly hoped not.


	16. A Magical Evening

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 16 – A magical evening.**

**No One's POV.**

Jade was half asleep on the couch when Tori came home from work. Though not fully awake, she became aware that Tori was kneeling down next to her.

A moment later, Jade felt Tori ever so gently and tenderly stroke her hair.

"So beautiful." Jade heard Tori whisper.

In her half asleep state of mind it seemed like a very wonderful dream. Moments later, Jade happily drifted in a deep sound sleep.

Jade woke up just after 10 am the next morning and though she felt very rested, she quickly started to feel anxious about their date the next night. Granted it wasn't until Sunday night, which was the next day, but Jade almost immediately started to worry about it.

She made herself some coffee and once she had downed a cup, felt just a bit better. Jade then sat down, turned on the TV and not less than 5 minutes later Tori came out of her room.

Seeing Tori, knowing the truth Jade felt her heart beat faster. "Hi." Said Jade softly.

Tori smiled and sat down next to Jade on the couch. "I think we need to talk."

"Yes."

There was an awkward moment of silence before Jade broke it. "I followed you to The Playpen. I suppose I should apologize. I'm sorry. Why do you work there of all places. A strip joint."

Tori brushed a strand of hair from her face and shrugged. "I dropped out of school and badly needed a second job to make ends meet. A girl I briefly dated, told me her friend worked there and the tips were great. I applied and took it. You're the only one that knows."

Jade nodded. "I see."

Tori inched closer. "I'm told that Barbie kissed you twice."

Jade detected a hint of jealousy in Tori's eyes as she mentioned kissing Barbie.

"Yes, once to buy her silence. The second one to prove to me that I liked girls, despite my denials."

Tori grinned. "I take it she was right."

"So you like me." Jade said sounding as if it were an impossible thing. Considering all that had happened, Jade wondered just how Tori could like her.

"Yes." Tori said, continuing to smile.

"So that's why you helped me back…."

Tori's whole demeanor instantly changed to one of anger. "I helped you because it was the right thing to do. I'd do the same for anyone else."

Jade was strongly tempted to ask why Tori picked up and left 3 years ago, but knew it would shut down the conversation instantly. Not sure what to say, she searched her thoughts.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have made that assumption. I don't know what I'm thinking or feeling some days. It's all so new. I guess being with, him, I never gave it any thought.'

Tori took a deep breath and seemed to calm down. "No problem. That is why….we are going to take this very slow. I don't want you to do or say anything you don't feel ready to do, even if it's to please me. Understand."

Jade appreciated that comment, as it took some of the pressure off. "Got it."

Tori got off the couch. "You can pick me up tomorrow evening at 6:00 for our date."

Jade suddenly looked confused. "But I'm already here."

Shaking her head. "You can pick me up at 6:00 for our date. A real date. Oh and one more thing."

"What?"

"Call this homework if you like, but I want you to tell me three things you like about me and only 1 of them can be a physical attribute."

Jade's face fell. "Seriously Vega, You're giving me homework."

Tori shrugged and headed towards the bathroom. "Yes. You see, you're dating a girl now, all the rules you know about dating. Toss them out."

Jade furrowed her eyebrows. "So what are the rules then?"

The only response was a laugh from Tori, as she closed the bathroom door.

Laying back on the couch, Jade realized that Tori was indeed right. Everything she did know about dating all related to dating men and that knowledge was useless. Even the simple thought of giving Tori flowers had eluded her until Barbie mentioned it. Again she felt her anxiety rise.

The last thing Jade needed was more in her mind, between Beck, the abuse, her remaining feelings for him, her co-dependent tendencies, her guilt, Jade's mind felt like it was in a storm.; thoughts and feelings pulsing about like mad.

While Tori showered, Jade stuck in her Scissoring dvd as she found it to be both comforting and relaxing. It was odd for a horror film to function in a way similar to a security blanket, but Jade hardly cared.

During the film, Jade found she was able to think a bit clearer. She realized that she had two options. The first would be to worry herself silly about the date and what it was like to date a girl. The second would be to simply concentrate on Tori's homework, but otherwise relax as much as possible.

Jade decided on the second option as being more relaxed would hopefully make for a better date and a better first impression. Thinking back she remembered a date she went on before Beck where the guy was so nervous and uptight that it made for a very unpleasant date.

Jade then continued to lounge on the couch as Tori did her morning bathroom things. In fact Jade decided to make it a lazy day and do nothing. After showering and getting dressed Tori came out of her bedroom.

"You going to take your shower now?"

Jade looked over at Tori and shook her head. "No."

"What are you going to do then?"

"Stay here, watch TV." Jade said dismissively.

Tori frowned. "So you're just going to lay on the couch in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and watch TV all day."

"Yep. We don't have our first official date until tomorrow so, so I really don't have to impress you yet."

Jade then smirked and changed her tone of voice to a more seductive one. "But if you'd like, I can take off my clothes and lay around naked all day. I'd get the feeling that you'd really like that!"

"Uh…Uh..no..no…you don't have, have to do that. No..thank you." Stammered a shocked looking Tori in response.

Ignoring Jade's laughter, Tori quickly moved to the kitchen. "I'll think I'll make us some lunch."

Tori made them some lunch and the pair spent the rest of the afternoon, watching old 1930's horror movies. Jade had found it was a good compromise as it was something they both really enjoyed. Both found it to be an enjoyable afternoon.

Tori left for work at The Playpen at 5:00, but not before Jade informed her that she would be staying in tonight.

Jade did stay in, watched more horror films and thought about what exactly attracted her to Tori. One thing became clear almost right away, she found the apartment without Tori's presence, was a lonely place.

The next day, the day of the date, both Tori and Jade purposely avoided talking about that nights events. Jade again spent the day trying to relax and Tori spent a lot of it reading in her room. Both women though, were worried about their first real date.

At 4 O'clock, Jade jumped in the shower to get ready. Thinking about what to wear, Jade decided to dress and look more like she did in high school. In the last 3 years, her wardrobe had changes to a less Goth one nor has she worn a streak of color in her hair in some time. Beck had advised her that it would help her get tv and film parts; it didn't.

After putting a bit of curl into her black locks with an accompanying green streak, Jade looked at herself in the mirror. The face looking back was one she hadn't seen in a long time. It was just a bit unnerving.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Jade said with a sigh, knowing she was still not herself and may not be for some time.

Jade dressed in her good boots, black leggings, green skirt with a black top with lace sleeves. It was an outfit that she hadn't worn in some times. Jade also stuck her lucky scissors in her boot.

Oddly feeling like a wedding day, Jade didn't want Tori to see her before the start of the date. So when ready she peeked out of the bathroom to see the coast was clear. Seeing Tori was still in her room, grabbed her purse and left the apartment. It was just before 5 o'clock and it would give Tori and hour to get ready; plenty of time..

While waiting for the last hour Jade walked down to the coffee shop down the street and had herself a cup of coffee. She went through in her mind what she planned to do for the date and tried to combat her increasing case of nerves.

At 5:40 Jade left the coffee shop for her one last errand before picking up Tori.

At exactly 6:00 Pm, Jade knocked on the door of Tori's apartment. She used her key to let herself in the building, but decided to do it proper and knock on the door.

Two long minutes later the door opened and as Jade held out the dozen roses she bought, she took note that Tori was still in a bathrobe.

Tori smiled widely, smelled the roses and opened the door wide. "They're beautiful. Thank you."

"You're not ready." Said Jade, looking both confused and just a bit frustrated.

"No." Remarked Tori as if it didn't bother her in the slightest. "Have a seat. I'll be ready in a few minutes."

Before the confused and frustrated Jade could respond, Tori vanished into the bedroom.

Jade growled silently and sat down on the couch, roses still in hand.

After 10 full minutes, waiting Jade huffed. "God this is annoying, it almost feel bad for all the guys I kept waiting. Almost."

Exactly 4 minutes later Tori emerged from the bedroom ready to do. Jade was about to protest having to be kept waiting but he sight of the Latina, made her pause.

Tori was wearing a blue dress with matching shoes, her hair was done up and almost instantly Jade's heart started to pound.

"You're beautiful." Stammered Jade.

Tori stopped for a moment smiled as she looked equally as taken. "So are you."

Jade couldn't help but blush slightly. "Thank you."

"Let me get the roses in water and we can go."

"We're having dinner at Mario's, that Italian place a few blocks down. I figured we could walk."

"I'd like that."

They walked to the restaurant and though little was said, the silence felt rather comfortable. Jade just concentrated on her feelings. She was realizing more and more she simply liked being in Tori's presence, among other things.

They arrived at the restaurant, which was a small intimate affair. Jade made a point to open the door for Tori, which she greatly appreciated. They were shown to a cozy booth in the corner and once they ordered Tori smiled and said.

"So I gave you a bit of homework. What do you have for me."

Jade shook her head and laughed. "First you make me wait, which I'm sure was on purpose….."

Tori shrugged. "I admit to nothing."

Jade continued with a frown. "Then you demand my homework, like I'm a 14 year old in English class."

Tori leaned across the table and whispered. "Frown all you like, you're loving every second of this date, plus don't you want to hear what I like about you."

Jade smirked. "Ok, I'm busted. I've always been drawn to you, probably since we've met. But I never understood why, plus my mind was on someone else. But now that we've come closer I'm starting to sort it all out. Tori, I love your hair, it's long, silky and beautiful. It always smells nice."

"Thank you. I like yours too. I love that you put a green streak in it. I've missed that. That's one of mine. Though honestly I liked your hair a bit more when it was brown. When we first met."

"You did?"

"Don't get me wrong, your hair is wonderful and I'll admit, I'd love to….play with it….but I liked the brown hair too."

Jade raised an eyebrow. "So what else did you always want to….play with…."

Tori shot Jade a dark and seductive look. "Play your cards right West and someday I'll happily play with all of your TOYS! But on to your homework. You said one physical attribute. What else to you like about me."

The toys comment caught Jade off guard and for a moment she sat there with a blank expression as her mind had dirty fun thinking of that that would entail.

Snapping out of her little fantasy Jade said. "You're always bright and outgoing back then. For a while when I first came to stay, you weren't but you're much like your old self. I found that despite my being annoyed by your bright attitude back then, I really missed it, a lot more than I realized."

While she said nothing, Jade could tell Tori was quite pleased by the comment.

"Lastly you've helped me a lot in the last few months. You were really there for me. I like that."

Jade noticed it, while Tori smiled and said thank you, her eyes darted to the side briefly as if something was running through her mind. Jade decided for the sake of the date which was going well, to ignore it.

Tori took a sip of her water. "OK, now my turn. You're so very talented. I've seen you on stage and just been in awe of you. I guess my last thing is that there is so much more to you than a simple angry Goth. You're smart, darkly funny, straightforward, unpredictable and….. " Tori paused to smile. "You're a girl. You're very beautiful, sexy and I dare say very feminine in your own way. I want to know you better and I hope you do so as well."

Jade, looking very flattered, smiled. "I do."

The pair their meal soon arrived and talk went back to more mundane subjects, but regardless, each found they just like being with each other. Though vastly different from each other, Jade sensed that somehow they fit with each other. She wasn't sure exactly how as her feelings were all very new but she liked how she felt when she was with Tori; happy.

The rest of dinner went well and the conversation flowed smoothly and each began to feel the very beginning of something more than friendship.

Dinner ended and Jade paid. As they left the restaurant, Tori held the door for Jade.

Upon exiting the restaurant, Tori's eye s grew wide as she saw a horse drawn carriage in front of the restaurant. "Is that for….."

Jade smiled proudly. "Yes."

Jade helped Tori into the carriage and once in herself, Jade motioned for the driver to start.

Looking positively happy, Tori snuggled next to Jade. "This is very nice, thank you. You've really pulled out the stops."

"So you're enjoying yourself." Jade replied with a hopeful smile.

"Jade, we could be having a sandwich at a McDonalds and I'd enjoy myself with you. But yes, I am."

Before responding, Jade paused to look into Tori's brown eyes, each time she looked at them she liked them more.

"I'm glad."

Tori then snuggled up just a bit tighter and again a comfortable silence descended on the pair. Jade really began to feel something new, she felt warm and special and just utterly contented. A feeling she'd never had before.

Tori was also very contented and was very impressed by Jade's efforts to make a special date. She a real spark of romance and it made her just a bit giddy.

Feeling it was the right time, Tori reached over and took Jade's hand in hers. Jade for an instant nervously tensed up, but a second later relaxed and squeezed Tori's hand.

The ride lasted for another 20 minutes, which is all Jade could afford, but they ended up in front of Tori's apartment.

Not letting go of Tori's hand for a moment, Jade helped Tori out of the carriage and the pair walked up and into Tori's apartment.

Figuring it was the correct thing to to Jade then walked Tori to her bedroom door. By now her heard was beating like a drum. All had gone perfectly, in fact more than perfect. Jade hadn't felt more alive and special in years.

Turning to face Tori Jade could see Tori was practically glowing.

It was Tori the spoke first, her voice trembling slightly. "Jade, I've imagined this day for a very long time. What it would be like, how I'd feel. For a long time, I thought this would never happen. But it did, you took me on a super romantic date and made me feel wonderful."

Jade for the second time of the night blushed. "Thank you. I've never felt so….Wonderful. So have I earned a second date?"

Tori looked deeply into Jade's eyes and for an instant, everything else seemed to vanish. Not even hesitating Tori leaned in and gave Jade a quick, soft and gentle kiss. For Jade, even though the kiss lasted less than a second, she had never felt a moment so magical.

After breaking the kiss, Tori gently ran her fingers through Jade's hair. "Yes you have. But this time, I'll plan it. Ok. How about Wednesday night?"

"I'd like that."

"Good. I know it's a bit strange with you living on my couch while, we're dating. If you ever need space or anything, just let me know."

"I will."

"Thanks again for a nice evening. I'm actually going to read and turn in. I know it's a bit early, but I don't want to risk doing anything to spoil our night. I'll see you in the morning Ok."

Jade smiled. "OK."

With that Tori turned, entered her bedroom and closed the door. Alone Jade sat on the couch and found herself rather pleased how the date went. Actually she was so pleased, her head was practically spinning. She truly loved being on a date with another woman. It was different, strange and more importantly, it felt right.

Jade changed into her sleeping clothes and for a time watched TV, while she came down off her emotional high. After 10 Pm, Jade turned in herself.

As she began to drift off, she couldn't help think about that second at dinner where Tori looked away. She wondered what went through Tori's mind and wondered if it had anything to do with Tori's refusal to speak of the aftermath of the party.

Though forgotten during the date, that nagging thought came back. Why does Tori not want to talk about it? Jade knew that if they did keep dating, that would eventually have to come up and Jade wasn't sure if the outcome would be one she liked.

Jade pondered it all for a few minutes and pushed it back down into the back of her mind. Soon she was asleep.


	17. A cold wind

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 17 - A cold wind.**

**No One's POV.**

**Big chapter today. Lot's of drama.**

The next morning, it was Monday and both Tori and Jade had to work. Jade upon waking up found Tori in the kitchen eating breakfast as she normally did. Poking her head in Jade said a slightly awkward sounding hello.

Jade was a bit nervous as she didn't quite know how to act now they were on an official date. That and she was still processing all that had gone on the previous night.

Tori looked up from her frosted flakes with a smile. "Good morning."

Still unsure what to do Jade smiled back. "I'm taking my shower now."

"Ok, I'll see you tonight."

Jade left the room and began her normal daily routine. Later that evening, when Tori came home and the pair started to make dinner, Jade felt awkward again.

Sensing Jade's discomfort, Tori put a hand on Jade's. "Jade relax. Don't feel like you have to hold my hand or be romantic with me right now. We're taking it slow. If you feel it's right, do so. Let's just enjoy each other's company ok. If it makes you feel better, insult me."

That was in fact what Jade was nervous about and Tori's words quickly put her at ease.

"Good, thank you. That and cut the lettuce not mutilate it. Someday you must learn to cut something without making it look Jason Voorhees's cut it up."

Both laughed and quickly went to work. The ate dinner and sat on the couch to watch TV, though they were at different ends. Jade knew she could snuggle up to Tori, but she didn't feel quite right about it. Tori didn't seem to mind and they had a pleasant evening.

The next day was the same, with the exception that Jade moved just a bit closer on the couch to Tori. Jade was getting use to being close and intimate with Tori. The first date was great but at the same time was just a bit overwhelming.

The next night was Tori's turn to plan the date. This time, Tori picked up Jade and brought her flowers. Playing off of Jade's dark nature she brought Jade lilies, which tend to be connected with funerals. Jade enjoyed the gesture.

The next part of the date was dinner at excellent Greek place followed by Tori's special surprise. Tori found a small art-house movie theatre that was having a showing of Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 classic Psycho. For Jade it was quite a thrill as she'd never seen the film on the big screen.

Again if felt right and the pair held hands during the movie and a great that once again ended in short but tender kiss.

The next couple of nights Jade sat right next to Tori on the couch and they semi cuddled. The next date was Saturday and was a trip to the Central park zoo. But a sudden and unexpected cloudburst soaked both women and ruined the rest of their date. After they dried out they cuddled on the couch and watched TV until it was time for Tori to go to work.

Things were going well and Jade was really starting to enjoy her cuddle time/dates with Tori. But one thing, loomed on her mind; Tori's refusal to speak of the party. Jade carried a great deal of guilt for making Tori look like a liar in front of her father and desperately wanted to apologize for it.

The next week at dinner Jade again started to speak of the party and the next day. The effect on the mood was instantly chilling. Tori who was cheerful and open one minute became cold and distant the next. After dinner Tori instead of spending time with Jade, went to her room for the evening.

Jade by now was really sensing something was between them and with each passing day, felt It's presence more and more. After a day or so things returned back to normal and all was well.

Another week and a half passed and the pair had gone on several dates. They were taking it slow with only short kisses and cuddling on the couch.

Again Jade tried to apologize and again Tori clammed up and went cold. That pushed Jade's concern about this to the front of her mind and in the next few days things didn't quite go back to normal.

The second refusal of Tori to open up, caused what seemed to be a cold wind, that passed between them. Jade started to not feel that special feeling anymore and found herself becoming frustrated and alienated. Jade started to sit further away on the couch when they watched TV.

They went on another date and held hands, but the magic of their first date seemed to have vanished.

A chaste kiss ended the date and that left a frustrated Jade alone. The next morning she made no effort to speak with Tori

At work that day, which was Friday, Jade had just sat down on one of the outside patios to eat her lunch when she looked up to see Beck.

Tensing up, she gave him a harsh glare. "What do you want."

Beck was several feet away actually back up a foot. "I just want to talk for a minute. I missed you."

Jade, now stone-faced, gave no reply.

"I told you I was making some real changes." Beck said emotionally, as he held up a small round thing. "I joined AA and quit drinking. Here is my 60 day chip. I had a drinking problem. Not just that I drank too much, but that I can't handle my liquor. It makes me do things I hate. I've stopped, for you. For us."

Jade didn't know how to process this information. It was welcome and unwelcome all at the same time. As she sat there processing it, she could feel a whole flood of old emotions and feelings come pouring back in.

"What do you want?" Said Jade cautiously.

"I need to make amends for what I've done, part of the 12 step program. I want to do that. Maybe as part of it, I'd like you to come to the meeting with me, be my guest. I need to make up for so much. See that I'm serious about this. I miss you , I love you."

Hearing those words, gave Jade's heart an unexpected jolt and she had to stop herself from saying I love you in return.

"I can't promise anything."

"Look, I have a meeting tonight, at the community center on 45th and Mills. Its at 7:30. You can come by yourself. It's very safe, there's always lots of people there and a police precinct up the street. Please, at least let me confess and try to being to make things right. Look, I'll leave you alone now. But please come….."

Beck then turned and walked off, but not before leaving the chip on the table he was standing next too. Curious jade walked over and picked up the small object. It indeed was a 60 day sober chip. Thinking back, Jade couldn't recall a single day without him drinking, though it was only when he drank heavily did his dark side come out.

Her mind a storm of emotions, Jade just didn't know what to do. A few hours later Jade arrived home to an empty apartment. It was Friday and Tori would be going directly from her job at the bank to The Playpen.

Alone she reflected on Beck his seeming changes and her increasing frustration with Tori. Part of her really wanted to go, to see Beck. See if he really changed.

"At least he's being honest."

An hour later, Jade having thought about it, decided to go. She justified it by saying to herself that she could possibly use this to put Beck and that relationship behind her. That maybe without some of her own baggage she could move forward. But of course, that wasn't the only reason.

Jade showed up at the community center just before 7:30 and as Beck had said an Alcoholics anonymous meeting was being held in one of the rooms. Upon seeing her Beck smiled.

"Thank you for coming."

Jade merely scowled. "Ok, I'm here. But I'm not sitting next to you. I'll sit in the back and listen. That's it."

"Fine."

Jade grabbed a horrible cup of coffee and parked herself in the corner of the room far from the group, just as things started. It was a typical AA meeting with various people standing up and telling their stories. Finally Beck got up.

"My name is Beck and I'm an alcoholic."

The rest of the group greeted him and several seemed to be very familiar with him. Beck then went on a tearful speech on how he hurt the woman he loved. He said he beat her and did things he can never forgive himself for. He stated that all he wanted to do was prove to her that he was trying to be the good man she wanted him to be.

Jade listened carefully and she quickly became convinced that he was trying to fix himself. It only stirrued up more feelings inside of her.

When the meeting ended, Beck walked up.

"Thank you for coming. It means lot to me.

Jade nodded. "You're welcome. I see you are trying to quit. I believe you. That's good."

"There's a diner next door with a lot better coffee, can I buy you a cup. At least for your troubles. Just one."

Jade found herself saying yes, before she even knew it. She felt herself slowly falling back into an old and familiar routine, with the old familiar feelings that came with it.

They walked to the diner where they talked rather civilly over some coffee, which Beck paid for. Beck apologized numerous times for his actions and said he was deeply ashamed for each and every one of them. Jade acknowledged his apology, but didn't accept it. Part of her wanted to, however.

After the cup of coffee was done, Jade got up from the table.

"Thanks for the coffee. Keep up the AA stuff."

Beck smiled. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem."

"Can I call you sometime. Just to talk. It's hard not drinking. It may help me."

Jade paused for a moment. "Fine, but only if you really need something."

"Jade, I still love you. I'm doing this for us." Beck said in a pleading voice.

Then the Goth turned and left, before she said or did something she regretted.

That night Jade fell into an uneasy sleep, tossing and turning most of the night. She still wanted to be with Tori, but the old feelings were pulling in the opposite direction. Not to mention she didn't know if she even should tell Tori she met with him. It was all too much for her mind, to rest easily.

She slept in the next morning, as when she finally fell into a sound sleep it was almost 4 in the morning. She could hear Tori get up, shower and eat, but Jade stayed asleep. When she finally got up just after noon, she found the Latina gone.

That didn't worry her as she remembered Tori saying she was going grocery shopping. What she was worried about was what to say to Tori, if anything.

Tori arrived just after 1 pm with 2 bags of groceries and greeted Jade in pleasant but not to warm manner. Jade said hello back in an similar tone and helped Tori put away the groceries.

Once that was done Jade returned to the couch, still debating if she should tell Tori.

"What's this chip?" Tori said as she walked past the end table next to the couch where she kept her keys and phone.

Shit, said Jade mentally as she turned to see Tori examining the chip.

Tori then held up the chip with a confused look. "This is a AA 60 day sober chip. You're not in AA, plus you had a beer just the other night. Who's is it."

Jade looked to the floor for and said in a low voice. "It's Becks."

"What do you mean its Beck's" Said Tori in a sharp tone of voice.

Suddenly not feeling like playing around Jade stood up to face the angry Latina. "Ok, Beck came by the hospital yesterday. He said he joined AA and even gave me the chip to prove it. He invited me to the meeting so he could confess what he did and start to make amends. He wanted me to see he was serious."

Tori's face suddenly began to turn red. "So you just ran off and saw him behind my back!"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" shouted Jade back. "I thought that maybe by doing this I could put this behind me. Some closure."

"You weren't' going to tell me, weren't you?"

"Of course I was."

By now tempers had quickly flared up and Jade more and more didn't feel like backing down. Judging by the angry look, Jade guessed Tori wasn't either.

"Bullshit" Hissed Tori. "We're supposed to be dating, getting closer and you stab me in the back by hiding shit from me."

Jade advanced on Tori, "Get off your high fucking horse Vega. Why is it that every time I mention the party 3 years ago and the day after you shut down. You're not telling ME something."

Tori's eyes suddenly went cold and she started to walk towards the bedroom. "We're done."

Jade grabbed Tori's wrist. "Don't you dare fucking walk away from me! What are you telling me Vega."

Tori stood there, silently glaring at Jade, refusing to say anything.

"So that's how it works" Yelled Jade. "I'm the one that's supposed to be open for the sake of this relationship but you don't have too. What are you better than me."

"I NEVER SAID THAT!" screamed Tori.

"Then what's the fucking problem. I got raped by a drunken Beck at Hunter Burns graduation party, you helped me and the next day, Beck got to me, he always could get to me. You and your dad showed up to help me file the rape report and I lied. I made you look like a liar in front of your dad. Do you have any idea how badly I feel about that. It's weighed like a stone around my neck ever since and have you once given me the chance to apologize. NO. No you won't let me apologize."

By now Jade could see Tori was probably the most angry and upset she had ever seen the Latina. But Jade felt the need to keep pushing.

"You talk about being open for the sake of our relationship and you hold this above my head. Maybe you want me to feel guilty about it. You like having that stick in my side like a knife. I'M SORRY I MADE YOU LOOK LIKE A LIAR IN FRONT OF YOUR DAD!"

For a moment Tori stood there, stiff like a statue and then promptly exploded in rage. "YOU DON'T GET IT JADE! MY DAD BELIEVED ME. ON THE WAY HOME HE TOLD ME HE STILL BELIEVED ME AND HE KNEW YOU WERE LYING THE ENTIRE TIME. HE'S DEALT WITH SITUATIONS WITH THIS BEFORE. HE KNEW YOU WERE LYING!"

Jade, not expecting that, stepped back as Tori continued her explosive rant.

"He even offered to help me help you by putting me in touch with an expert on abuse he knew at the police department. He told me, that with the right help, I could break his hold over you and you know what I told him!"

Jade who was now withering under Tori's verbal assault squeaked. "What!"

"I TOLD HIM NO! I DIDN'T WANT TO HELP YOU ANYMORE. I WAS SO ANGRY AND JEALOUS THAT YOU WOULD CHOSE THAT RAPIST OVER ME THAT I HATED YOU! I HATED YOU SO MUCH THAT BY THAT POINT I THOGHT YOU DESEVRVED TO GET BEATEN AND RAPED FOR YOUR UTTER STUPIDTY. I JUST WANTED AWAY FROM YOU SO I LEFT TOWN 3 DAYS LATER, SO I'D NEVER BE TEMPTED TO HELP YOU AGAIN. YOU HAD MADE YOUR BED AND I WAS SO ANGRY I WANTED YOU TO FUCKING SLEEP IN IT!"

Jade's face drained of color as her mouth fell open. Stepping back, the Goth Abruptly grabbed her purse, keys and ran out of the apartment.

Tori tried to call for Jade to come back, but she already ran out of the building. In tears Jade ran down the sidewalk. Tori had not only abandoned her 3 years ago but actually felt she deserved the abuse she got. That knowledge not only hurt but felt very much like a stinging betrayal.

She was about 3 blocks down when she heard her phone ring. Figuring it was Tori, she planned on not answering, but looked at the caller Id anyway.

It was Beck.

Feeling betrayed, extremely vulnerable, hurt and upset, Jade answered the phone.

"Hello"

**Several hours later. **

Ever since Tori had made that decision to leave Jade to Beck and move away, Tori had literally hated herself for it. She had made a rash decision based on feelings of hatred, betrayal and jealousy and by the time she came to regret it, she had already left town. There was now no going back. Each day since Tori had regretted it more, Each day she found herself unable to look at herself in the mirror.

Tori blamed the incidents with Ace Decade, Cat and the loss of her music career, on Karma paying her back for her cruelty. One of the reason she had taken the job at The Playpen was it was a degrading job. Tori took that degrading job as a form of self punishment. 3 years after the incident, Tori had come to literally hate herself.

When Jade showed back up, Tori had closed off emotionally, but deep down wanted to make things right and even possibly be with her. But all along Tori feared this day would come. It was what she had feared most of all. Just the mention of that day after the party, struck Tori with terror. She had hoped somehow she could simply avoid it coming up. But it was a foolish hope and Tori knew it.

Tori was angry that Jade held back and naturally she got mad. Tori was amazed how quickly tempers got heated and Tori simply couldn't hold it in any longer. It all came out in one explosive and hateful rant, causing Jade to flee.

The Latina cried for an hour after Jade left. She thought of calling to apologize. She had wanted nothing more than to make up for what she thought and did, but how could you apologize for wanting someone to get beaten, refusing help for them and abandoning them. She figured Jade wouldn't have answered the phone anyway.

After crying for an hour Tori fell into an exhausted sleep and did so until it was time to get ready for work at The Playpen Jade still hadn't returned, which only made Tori more despondent.

After limping through her shift, which wasn't made easier as her one confidant and friend Barbie had the night off, Tori came home. She had come up with a heartfelt apology for the Goth and planned to give it to Jade, as soon as she came home. Tori planned to say that it was a horrible thing to do and she had deeply regretted it ever since. Tori planned to beg for forgiveness.

Finally arriving home after her shift, Tori took a deep breath and entered the darkened apartment. Not even bothering to turn on the light she walked over to the couch where Jade slept every night.

Tori's heart fell when even in the dim light, she could see it was unoccupied.

Tori ran to the light and flipped it on. What she saw, was heartbreaking. Jade was not only not here, but her bags with all her clothing she kept in the corner were gone. All of her stuff was gone.

Then Tori saw a note on the table and what appeared to be some money sitting next to it. Her hands shaking, Tori picked it up and began to read.

_"Tori,_

_Here is my last months rent. I'm moving back in with Beck. I will mail you the keys for your apartment tomorrow._

_Jade"_

Like history repeating itself, Tori once again was left twisting in the wind, as Jade ran back to Beck. Utterly devastated by Jade leaving, as Tori knew it was her fault, Tori sank to her knees and began to sob uncontrollably.

**A terrible confession by Tori. She was so hurt, angry and Jealous by Jade's going back to Beck after the rape, the day after the party, that she refused her fathers offer of help for Jade. Tori admitted that at the time she felt Jade deserved the abuse she got. A decision that Tori's regretted ever since, but I all came out and Jade went back to Beck, who has quit drinking and seems to want to repair things between them.**

**What do you people think of Tori's confession? She made a rash decision based on some very negative emotions and now deeply regrets it. **

**Has Beck changed? or has he? **

**Please don't be mad at me, more drama to come.**


	18. Take it back

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 18 - Take it back.**

**No one's POV.**

Tori's worst nightmare had come true. The truth about the decision she made 3 years ago had come out, resulting in Jade going back to Beck.

The day after the party, Tori had reported to her father that Beck had raped Jade. She also told her father that Jade wished to press charges. Tori wanted nothing more than to free Jade of Beck and possibly make their friendship into something more.

But upon arriving, Jade recanted her story saying it was all a simple misunderstanding. Tori knowing that Beck had gotten to her before they had arrived, was devastated. On top of that she had been utterly humiliated, in front of her father.

Nothing more to say, they got in the car and left. Much to Tori's surprise, on the car ride home, David Vega assured Tori he still believed her. Being a police officer he had seen victims recant their stories more than once and quickly realized Jade was lying.

Not only did he believe her, he offered to help Tori. He said he could put her in contact with a social worker that worked with the police department. David said this social worker worked extensively with cases of abuse and could give her a lot of help and advice in ridding Jade of Becks influence.

"Don't worry Tori. You did the right thing. We can do this. We can help Jade." Said David Vega, as they arrived home.

Tori however, was no longer in any mood to help Jade. She had put a lot of effort and heart into the effort into helping Jade, only to get burned time and again. This time he not only abused her, but actually raped Jade. Still Jade went back to him. Added to this, was Tori's personal feelings. She had a serious crush on Jade and it was her dream to be Jade's girlfriend. To see the women she would have treated like a queen, go back to that monster was simply too much for her.

Tori felt so humiliated, hurt, angry and jealous, that her feelings morphed into pure hatred. She was so full of hate, that she actually felt that Jade deserved to be beaten and raped for being so stupid, for choosing him over her. Tori told her father that she didn't want to help Jade, not now or ever. She also told him, she was washing her hands of the whole thing and wanted to go away.

She told him she wanted to attend NYU and begged him to see if she could stay with an aunt and uncle that lived in nearby Philadelphia. Her plan was to leave right away, stay with her aunt and uncle until the school term started and then live in the dorms. She hated Jade and wanted to be as far away as possible. She also wanted to be away so she'd never be tempted to help that ingrate again.

Seeing their daughter in such distress, Tori's parents, agreed and made the arrangements. Within days, Tori had packed her stuff and left town, not bothering let Jade know.

Within days of arriving in Philadelphia, to stay with her uncle Steve and aunt Bridget, Tori began to regret no only her actions but her wanting Jade to get beaten and raped. At the time she felt the Goth deserved it for burning her. But Tori realized that was only jealousy and pain talking.

Soon enough, Tori realized she had made a horrible mistake; one that with each passing day she began to regret more and more. Just thinking that she once thought Jade deserved such horrible treatment, filled Tori with self-loathing.

But as much as she regretted it, Tori knew there was no way back. Tori began school and tried to put the ever increasing feelings of guilt and self-hatred behind her. She had limited success, throwing herself into her classwork and music, but still Tori secretly hated herself for what she had done.

Then came Ace Decade and the disaster that resulted. Tori had refused his advances and embarrassed him in front of his party guests. He retaliated by ruining her name in the record industry.

Then came the second, blow. Already devastated by the ruin of her record career, Tori turned to Cat for comfort. Cat however turned on her and threw her out when Tori revealed she was a lesbian.

In the end, Tori shut down emotionally and blamed herself. She concluded that it was karma paying her back for her horrible deed.

When Jade returned Tori, though barely able to function, emotionally wanted to repair things, possibly even win Jade's heart. For a while things started to get better, they got close and Tori had real hope. Of course the entire time, she was deathly afraid that Jade would find out. She tried to avoid talking about that party and hoped Jade would forget it.

Jade didn't and during the argument, it all came spilling out. Jade was gone now, having fled back to Beck. Again Tori was devastated and alone. Her secret had come out, Jade was gone along with any hope of a happy future.

Realizing Jade had gone, Tori sobbed for almost an hour before falling into an exhausted sleep.

Waking to an empty apartment the next morning, Tori felt no better. Emotionally she was an utter wreck. Tori spend her Saturday either crying or blankly watching what ever happened to be on the TV.

Finally it came time to go to work, which Tori dreaded. But knowing she had bills to pay Tori went to work, got in her costume and put a fake smile on. 10 minutes to her shift, she ran into Barbie who seemed in a rather chipper mood.

But upon seeing Tori her smile seemed to fade. "I know a fake smile when I see one. What's up?"

"Can we talk later Barbie, I really need to talk to someone." Tori said, her voice so filled with pain that it made Barbie's eyes nearly bug out.

Barbie gave a comforting smile and put a hand on Tori's shoulder. "Just hold on until the end of our shift and Barbie will take care of you."

"Thank's Barbie." Tori said, before returning to work.

Barbie was concerned about Tori, the woman was visibly upset. She happen to notice that Jade was not present, but that may or may not mean anything. As the night went, on she kept an eye on the Latina, who seemed to be barely holding herself together.

At the end of the night, after close, Tori found Barbie near the main bar.

"So what's up? Some problem with Jade."

Tori shed a tear. "Yes….we had a fight….."

"Barbie, do you remember you once said that if I ever wanted to go home with you, I had a standing invitation?"

Looking a bit surprised, Barbie nodded. "Yeah." Barbie had made that offer and it was a serious one, but she never expected Tori to take it up.

"Take me home, I don't want to be alone tonight." Tori pleaded.

After thinking for a second, Barbie nodded and took Tori's hand. "Come on sugar…..On our way to my place, please tell me what's going on."

The pair left the bar hand in hand and along the way, Tori tearfully told Barbie the whole story. Listening intently, Barbie refrained from comment, other than to say how sorry she was.

Finally they arrived at Barbie's apartment. Entering the apartment, Tori could see it was a one bedroom affair, not too different from her own, but decorated a more modern style, with a small bar in the corner. Once Barbie closed and locked the door, Tori turned and moved in closer to Barbie and began to kiss her.

Barbie, after quickly breaking the kiss, stepped back. "Tori, let's hold on… you're upset and a little drunk. Don't think I didn't see you pound a few down tonight. You never drink on the job."

Tori frowned and pulled Barbie in close again, but this time Barbie dodged the kiss.

"Barbie, I'm here, I thought we were….." Tori sniffled.

Barbie sighed and gently eased Tori towards her bathroom "It's not like that, Right now, you take off your make up, get ready for bed and I'll get you some sleeping clothes. You'll find several new toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet, use anyone you like."

"Ok." Tori said before vanishing into the bathroom.

Barbie shook her head and after getting a t-shirt and some short's, put them in the bathroom where Tori was getting ready for bed.

After a few minutes, Tori emerged from the bathroom. She was wearing the shorts and T-shirt, but as before looked like she looked emotionally distraught.

"Get into bed, I'll be with you in a minute."

Tori smiled ever so slightly. "Thank you."

Barbie got ready for bed, came out of the bathroom. Entering the bedroom she found it darknened but in the dim light could see the figure of Tori underneath the covers.

Barbie slid under the covers and before she could say anything, Tori slid over and began to kiss her.

Ever so gently, Barbie stopped Tori in mid Kiss. "Tori, stop please."

Looking even more hurt, Tori wiped a tear. "Why… why don't you want me. Make love to me...please."

Barbie sat up and began to gently stroke Tori's hair, to calm her down. "Tori you're horribly busted up inside. You made a huge mistake and you're in so much pain that you can barely function or think straight. You want sex, but what you really need, is someone to be with you, hold you and to make you feel safe. I love sex and you are one smoking hot Latina. But I won't take advantage of you, when you're in this state. I'm many things Tori, a bastard is not one of them. So just lie back in my arms and close your eyes."

Tori looked down as if she didn't know what to think.

While she still very upset and a bit confused, the Barbie's gentle stroking of her hair had a calming effect.

"Come on Tori, let me take care of you tonight. You need some sleep. Just let me hold you. You're safe." Barbie cooed in a very soothing voice.

No longer resisting, the Latina just crawled into Barbie's arms and closed her eyes. In Barbie's arms, she did feel warm and safe.

Barbie, kept stroking Tori's hair and did her best to ease the Latina into sleep. "Go to sleep….

Within seconds, Tori did just that.

"How could anyone not want you." Lamented Barbie, as she closed her own eyes.

The next morning Tori woke, realizing that not only did she have a slight hangover but she was in bed with Barbie, who's arms were still very tightly wrapped around her.

Despite the small headache, she did feel rather rested, but at the same time felt horrible for practically begging for sex. It was utterly embarrassing.

"I need to get home." Whispered the Latina, as she started to quietly extract herself from Barbie's arms.

But her efforts to remove herself from the bed quietly, failed as Barbie woke quickly and tightened her grip.

"Morning sugar. Don't you dare leave my arms?"

Not fighting it, Tori relaxed and put her head on Barbie's chest. "I'm so sorry about last night. I was a bit drunk and really upset. I'm so sorry. I was feeling so needy."

As before, Barbie began to stroke Tori's hair and again it felt rather soothing. "Tori. Don't apologize. You needed someone to be with you last night. I was really concerned about you. I didn't want to risk you doing anything you'd might regret. Besides, don't you feel just a bit better."

"Yes, just a bit. Thank you for resisting me. You're a true friend."

"Another time, another circumstance perhaps, but last night you needed comfort, not sex. Just lie with me for a while."

"Thank's Barbie."

"Don't think you're the only one who's had her heart broken." Barbie said in a sad tone of voice.

"What happened?"

Suddenly Barbie began to speak again but her voice had dropped into a rather thick southern drawl. The thing was that it sounded very natural for the blonde.

"I'm from a small town, in Alabama. A small town with small minds. My sisters would tell me that I would tell me that I was just too smart to land a man. But I didn't want a man. All I wanted, was to be with my best friend Kelly. We were in love, in secret of course. When we graduated high school, I asked her to come out and go away with me. She wanted to stay in town, keep up the lie. Keep pretending that we were friends. I told her that she had to choose the lie or me. She chose the lie and broke my heart. I hear she's married with 2 little boys, still living the lie. There was nothing for me back there…so I left town, dropped my accent and changed my name."

"You're name isn't Barbie."

Barbie shook her head. "No, it's actually Maureen, but I legally changed it. You see, Maureen, was a timid and shy bookworm who always did what she was told, she went to church every Sunday so she could grow up to be a good Christian wife and mother. That maybe fine for my sisters, but not for me. I hated that life; I hated having to sneak around with my girlfriend Kelly. I wanted to be free, so I changed my name to Barbie and decided to enjoy every second of life, on my terms. I loved Barbie's as a kid. Barbie was free and lived an exciting life. So I became Barbie, in a sort of a sense. Maybe, I'll find someone that makes me feel like Kelly did, but until then, I'm just going to live."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm 28 now and life is good, well considering I slept with a really 2 really hot Aeroflot stewardess the other night, pretty damn good. But that's what you need to do. Live." Barbie said with a measure of pride in her voice.

"How?"

"Your music. Ok, this Ace Decade guy made sure you'd never have a music career. But you can still, play write and enjoy music. Don't let him take that away from you. You can't do anything about Jade and I'm sorry about that, but you can change yourself."

It was a lot to think about, but Tori wondered if Barbie was on to something. "Maybe I'll do that."

"Good, Tell you what, since you're still really hurting, I'll do something special for you. I'll do something I haven't' done in 9 years, make a real southern breakfast, eggs, grits with country fried steak."

Tori laughed for the first time since Jade left. "I had grits once, the instant kind."

Barbie shuddered. "I may have dropped my accent, changed my names and left my southern roots far behind me, but I would never serve anyone instant grit's. If I did, my grandmamma would rise from the grave and strangle me. You'll get the real thing."

"Thanks."

Barbie spoke again, but this time her southern drawl had vanished. "Don't worry, it will be alright. Just remember, you need to live. If you're in pain, then pour your pain into your music. There's an old gospel song, one of my grandmamma's favorites; it's Precious Lord, take my hand. It was written by Thomas Dorsey. In 1932, Dorsey's wife died in childbirth, 2 days later the son, who his wife died giving birth too, also passed. In his grief, he wrote one of the most beautiful songs ever written. He didn't write it to make money or he wrote it because he was in pain. I imagine that writing that song helped him cope with his grief."

Tori remained quiet, as she thought it all over. She was still very heartbroken and hurt, but not quite as broken as yesterday.

Nothing more was said for another half an hour as Barbie continued to hold Tori. Barbie then got up and started breakfast while Tori showered and got ready.

By the time Tori came out of the bathroom and got dressed, Barbie had breakfast ready. It consisted of homemade grits, eggs and country fried steak. It was a calorie laden feast, but probably the best breakfast Tori had had in some time.

Tori enjoyed her breakfast but said little, as her mind was still spinning with all that had happened. When breakfast was done Tori got up and helped Barbie clean up the food.

As they finished, Tori turned to Barbie. "Thank you for everything Barbie. I've got to get going. Breakfast was wonderful. I'm sorry again for last night."

Barbie shook her head. "Stop apologizing. You've been through the wringer, we've all been there. It just helps to have someone on the other side to help you back up. Are you going to be Ok?"

"Eventually." Tori said, letting a bit of optimism in her voice.

"What are you going to do today?"

"Probably go home and cry. Then maybe pick myself up. For what it's worth, Kelly was a fool for not choosing you."

Barbie smiled, but it was a rather sad one. "Thank you. I'd say the same thing about Jade."

Tori nodded and gave Barbie a quick hug before departing. Arriving home a while later, Tori looked at the empty couch and did indeed cry. Afterward she looked at her piano, but couldn't get up the nerve to touch it.

She spent the rest of the day watching old romantic movies and ate dinner. Her depression was very deep and the emptiness of the apartment only made it worse.

After dinner, she looked again at her keyboard. Gathering the courage, she walked over and sat down. For a full five minutes she sat there, motionless, before turning it on and hitting a middle C.

Then she hit a second key, then a third, then a forth and just kept going. Before she knew it now only was she playing, but writing a song about a lost love. She was amazed how easily the notes and words came as she poured her pain into the music. Only then did she realize how much she missed playing and writing music. It was very sad music, but music none the less.

She knew there was nothing she could do about Jade. But she did start to take back her music and vowed to never let anyone take it away from her again.

**The story that Barbie tells of the Gospel song and the man who wrote it, is true.**


	19. Mask

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 19 - Mask**

**Jade's POV**

It's been just over month since, how do I describe it, that day since Tori and I fought. I was so hurt and felt so betrayed that when Beck called to invite me to dinner, I just snapped I guess. His voice as calm and soothing and I just got sucked in.

I told him that I had had rented a spare room in someone's apartment and just got kicked out and asked if I could come back. I had no idea how he'd react.

He said he wanted to meet and I did at a restaurant. He bought me a nice dinner and again apologized numerous times for his actions. He drank soda as he said he was serious about his not drinking anymore. I asked if I could come back again and he said he would love to have me back. I just fell back into the old routine like that.

We ate dinner and talked of good times. Beck told me about the play he was performing and a guest stint on Law and Order SUV. He played a cop who had a few lines.

By the time we finished I knew Tori had gone to work so I told beck I'd meet him back at our place and left. I was still furious at Tori for what she did and I packed as quickly as possible. I left her a simple note with the 150 I owed her for the last month and left. I can't say I didn't have some regrets, but I quickly suppressed any of those feelings as soon as they came up.

Beck welcomed me home and almost immediately treated me like a queen. He couldn't be more nicer, more attentive and caring. It was like a dream. I kept expecting him to go back to drinking or the mean version of him to come out. That never happened.

I told him I wanted to hold off on any serious intimacy until we were better established again. I just didn't want to right off, for reasons I couldn't quite explain. Suprisingly he was very accepting and said it was a good idea.

I went with Beck to his AA meetings and indeed he was serious about it.

I could say everything was perfect, like a pristine garden, but it wasn't. Gardens have weeds and my weeds were thoughts of Tori, brief pangs of guilt or just missing her. Each time they came up, I yanked the proverbial weed and threw it away. But they kept popping up, despite me being still angry at her. I told myself they would eventually stop. I loved Beck and that was that.

It's been 5 weeks and we sleep together, cuddle, kiss and fool around a bit, but no sex yet. Part of me wants to, part of me still wants to make sure things are perfect. Though I'm not sure what exactly perfect is. I just can't really define it.

I'll probably never see Tori again, which oddly doesn't sit well with me.

Beck had changed, things were good and all was good.

It was just at the beginning of our sixth week back together and I was at work at the hospital. It was time for lunch and I was headed to the patio outside where I planned to eat, when I heard my name being called.

"Jade West?"

I turned to see a woman in her late 40's with greying brown hair in a business suit. I didn't recoginize her at first, but soon remembered. She was Cindy Hill, a casting director I auditioned for last year.

"Cindy Hill, Right?"

She smiled and shook my hand. "Yes, I thought that was you. Nice to see you again. You work here I take?"

It was just after Beck and I moved to New York when Cindy was holding auditions for a new horror film. I auditioned and got to the final three. I talked with her one on one and we got along well. I even found out she did the casting for the Scissoring so I was able to ask her all kinds of questions. I was absolutely sure I had the part nailed, but when I never heard back, I knew I didn't. I was really disappointed by that one.

I looked down at my grey hospital coveralls with slight embarrassment. "Yes. What brings you here?"

"Oh…just visiting a friend who had a hip replacement. Oh…before I forget. How did your surgery turn out."

What? I had no idea what she was talking about. The last surgery I had, was when I was 12. I had my tonsils taken out.

I gave her a confused look. "Surgery?"

"Your knee surgery."

Now, I was more confused than ever, my knees are perfectly fine. "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what your talking about."

Cindy scratched her head, with a puzzled look in her eyes. "Well…after you auditioned I had decided on casting you. But I got a call from your boyfriend, Beck Oliver, the next day. He said you had hurt your knee rather badly in an accident and it would require surgery and several months of rehabilitation. He told me he was sorry, but you couldn't take the part."

If my jaw wasn't attached to my head, I think it would have hit the floor. "My boyfriend, said that?"

"Yes, I spoke with him for several minutes. He was quite nice."

I've heard of actresses playing dirty tricks like that and immediately became suspicious. "I think you were tricked." I then pulled out my cell phone and played one of the voice mails from Beck. It was just him asking me to pick up milk from the store. "Would you do me a favor and listen to this voice and tell me if that was the person you talked to."

Cindy picked up the phone, listened and nodded. "Yes that is the person I spoke to. Is there a problem?"

I was now baffled plain and simple. I vainly searched my mind for some kind of explanation, but couldn't think of anything.

"Did he sound drunk or like he was drinking?" I asked, thinking of the only explanation I could finally come up with.

"No, he called in the middle of the day and sounded as sober as anyone I've heard. I'm not sure what's going on, but I would have chosen you for the part. I am sorry. I have to go."

After shaking her hand again, I blankly watched her walk off. I simply had no idea what the fuck was going on. I then turned and walked to the patio and as I did, I recalled another audition that I swore I would have gotten. It was a silly thought, but I wondered if something else like that happened.

So, remembering the name of the person for the other audition, I called the casting director and got her assistant, luck was on my side. I asked about my audition. It was a month after the one with Cindy Hill. Sure enough, a day after my final audition they got a call from Beck saying I had gotten a part overseas.

I was stunned, to put it simply. Having a sinking feeling I called yet another casting director and again I got the same story. Beck called 2 days later and gave some bullshit excuse why I couldn't take the part.

3 auditions where I would have gotten the part and 3 times Beck sabotaged me. Each person I spoke with, said Beck sounded sober, polite and was very apologetic.

By the time I had finished with my phone calls lunch was over. Returning to work cleaning rooms in the psych ward,My mind was in a haze. I simply didn't know what was going on. Normally I would have been angry, but I was too shocked to do much of anything.

I was walking down the hall in the psych ward, when I saw Dr. Cortez approach. He was the psychiatrist who was always friendly to me. He was also the one that gave me some advice, when he first saw that I had been abused.

He smiled but stopped, seeing my half shocked/half bewildered expression. "Is something wrong Jade?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. Beck stopped drinking. He's nice all the time. No more Mr. mean Beck and I went back. Everything should be perfect. But I found out today, he's been sabotaging my auditions. But they all said he was sober when…I simply don't get it. He was only mean when he was really drunk. I don't understand."

Dr. Cortez's tilted his head as his expression grew concerned. "Very strange. Tell you what, why don't you come to my office and tell me a bit about it. I have the rest of the afternoon off."

"I have rooms to clean."

He waved his hand and walked over to the phone where he phoned my supervisor, Mrs. Bedworth.

"Mrs. Bedworth, This is Dr. Cortez. I'm going to borrow one of your people for a hour. It's for a project I'm doing. It's Jade West. Yes, Ok, thank you."

Then he hung up the phone and said. "It's all taken care of let's go."

I followed him to his office where he told me to sit down. He the moved to his desk. "Tell me everything."

So I went into the whole story, with him listening carefully with an occasional question. I got through the whole story until today. I told of the drinking, the abuse, the good times when he wasn't drinking, leaving him, getting involved with Tori and coming back.

He then put his hand on his chin as lines of worry started to appear on his face. "Tell me about the you now and the you in high school. What about you has changed and be as detailed as possible. Also tell me why you made those changes."

I didn't know where he was going with this, but I told him I toned down my Goth dress, lost the streak in my hair, was less combative, more amicable and friendly. I told him that we used to go out a lot, but recently we stopped and stayed in. I told him that Beck had urged me to make those changes of the sake of my acting career. So I could more easily establish a good rapport with potential casting directors and the like. Also, he urged those changes so we could be happier. I finished up by how I used to joke about being domesticated.

But by this point, his expression grown deadly serious. Now I was not only confused, but getting worried.

"Jade, you at one point described Beck as a Jekyll and Hyde type person. In the original story, by Robert Louis Stevenson, there was the kindly Dr. Jekyll who as a result of his experiments, turned into the evil Mr. Hyde. You said when Beck drinks a lot he turns into his version of Mr. Hyde, correct?"

I nodded.

"The thing is Jade, that is true in some cases for some people, but in this one, you're wrong."

"What?" How could it be wrong.

"Him torpedoing your audition's was not the work of out of control mean drunk, it was the work of a calculated mind, one with a specific purpose."

I suddenly began to have a very bad feeling. "Why? What purpose?"

"Your acting is very important to you and your self-image. It's something you love. I'm certain that he's sabotaging your career for the sole purpose of undermining your self image and your self confidence. I'll bet you've gotten very discouraged and not gone on any auditions for a while."

My head was starting to ache. "Yeah, but why the questions about how I've changed?"

"I think he's been slowly manipulating you, molding you for some time, probably ever since you've met. "

In addition to my aching head, now I was starting to feel downright sick. "Molding me?"

"You see, with Beck there is no kindly Dr. Jekyll, there is only Mr. Hyde. When he's nice, he's wearing a mask. I'm from Mexico and my uncle was a luchador. A masked wrestler. In the ring , my uncle was the villain known as The Green Cobra. But at home, with the mask off, he was one of the nicest people you could meet. When he puts the mask on he turns into the evil Green Cobra. The nice Beck, it's only a mask, an act. When he drinks a lot, he can't maintain his act very well and his real personality shows. I'll bet he quit drinking not only to lure you back, but he realized his drinking was endangering his long term plans."

I blinked twice trying to take it all in, it still didn't make any sense. "Why, what is turning me into?"

Dr. Cortez put his hand on his chin. "Tell me about his parents."

"His father is loud, arrogant, sort of a bully, he drinks a bit. He's like Beck when he drinks a lot. It's making more sense now."

"What is his mother like."

I scoffed. "She's a wet rag, totally docile and obedient. She doesn't work, keeps the home, has no opinion of her own, does whatever Becks dad says. She's like a 21st century Stepford wif…."

I was going to say Stepford wife, as in the 1975 movie, but my voice trailed off as everything suddenly came together in one horrific moment of clarity. He was slowly molding me into a docile, housewife type, one exactly like his mother. That evil son of a bitch has been playing me for a fool, since day one.

Sitting there, the sheer horror if it started to sink in. What had happened, what I had been subjected too, what it had done to me. I had been so stupid and utterly blind, it staggers the imagination.

Me, who regularly watches the most intense horror films known to man without blinking an eye, had become so horrified and shocked, that I literally started to shake.

"I'm sorry Jade, but he's molding you into a version of his mother. Or at least that what it appears. Another question, do you generally use the same type passwords, email, voicemail."

"Yeah, it's usually it's like scissoring1 or scissoring2"

"If Beck knows this which I assume he does, he's probably been reading your emails and listening to your voicemails for years. He almost certainly knows you were staying at Tori's and were dating her, despite what you told him. You need to be careful, he's very dangerous."

"Oh my god! What do I do?" I was now starting to royally freak out.

"Jade, try and calm down. But you need to move out TODAY! This man is very dangerous, you need to go now. I'll tell your supervisor that you fell ill and had to go home. " He handed me a card. "Here's the card for a temporary shelter. Go there, you really need to. My best advice is to run."

I was in a near state of shock, as I took the card. I don't even remember leaving the hospital but I did. I took the subway home, shaking all the way.

In the original 1975 version of. The Stepford Wives, the husbands were doing away with their wives and replacing them with perfect, submissive, obedient, robot doubles. Once replaced, the women served the men unquestioningly and wanted nothing more to be the perfect wife and mother. They had no other ambitions or interests.

I remember the final scene of The Stepford Wives, all the smiling, docile female duplicates , all in pretty sundress and big floppy hats, wandering through the supermarket, pleasantly greeting each other as they shopped. On the surface the scene looks quite serene, but once you know the secret, it's utterly chilling. I feel sick just thinking, how in a sense that was being done to me.

Once I arrived home I instantly started to pack my things. I was still half in shock and my mind was spinning like a tornado.

TORI! I was so busy freaking out about Beck and what he was doing to me, that I didn't think about here at all, until just that moment.

Oh my god, Tori was right all along. She was the only one who cared and the only who saw through him. She was only one that tried to free me from him and I practically fought her every step of the way. I was so horrible to her.

My hand's trembling, I called her and cursed when I got her voice mail. Still, my voice quivering, I left a message.

"Tori, I've been a fool, Beck's been lying to me from day one, manipulating me, fucking with my head. It's all a lie. Dr. Cortez at the hospital explained it all to me. I'm so sorry I never believed you. I need too…."

It was then I became aware, that Beck was standing right behind me. He must have come home early from rehearsals and I was so self-absorbed, I didn't hear him.

Turning around I could see a cold hard look in his eyes, it was one I'd only seen him when he was very drunk. The thing was, he was obviously sober. Dr. Cortez was right, the good Beck, the one I loved, the one I kept going back to, the one I kept defending. it was only a mask.

Not even saying a word, he promptly punched me in the stomach. It was a hard painful blow that caused me to drop the phone and crumble to the ground.

At this point I realized, the phone which had landed beside me, still had the call going. Desperate, I screamed as loud as I could into the phone.

"Tori, he's here, please help me….."

**No one's pov**

With look of utter contempt on his face, Beck quickly stomped the phone into junk. He then proceeded to kick Jade in the side, causing the Goth to moan in agony.

"You know Babe." He said casually. "I'm glad you found out, as I was getting tired of the nice guy act."

Jade didn't have time to answer, as Beck knelt down band began to punch her in the face several times. Not one time, but several, in what could only be described as a savage beating.

He let up for a moment and ran his hand through his hair. "Now Jade, you we can really get to some discipline. So you can be a proper girlfriend and eventually a wife. You will obey me now. I'm in charge and that's that. Don't think Tori will come and save you this time. You burn her and you actually think she'll lift a finger to help you, just how fucking stupid are you."

Jade did make an attempt to crawl away, but Beck grabbed her by the hair, pulled her up and tossed her on the bed.

"Time to teach you a fucking lesson." Beck growled, as he yanked Jade's pants off.

**A strange and sudden turn of events, isn't it. Beck's been manipulating Jade for years, messing with her mind and undermining her self-image. When he drank, his real personality came out. But he stopped drinking to not only lure Jade back, but realized he was getting too carried away and that was endangering his long term plan, of molding Jade into a submissive, obedient Stepford wife, type person.**

**Of course the million dollar question is; Will Tori help? **

**There are two versions of "The Stepford Wives" the 1975 version and the 2004 version. The 1975 one is far superior and is a straight thriller. **


	20. Hammer into Anvil

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 20 - Hammer into Anvil**

**No One's POV.**

It was just after 5 o'clock and over 3 hours had passed since Beck had caught Jade on the phone. 3 hours since that first punch, one of many since then. Beck had done things before, but this was on a new level. Plus any idea that Dr. Cortez was wrong, quickly vanished when Jade realized that Beck was doing these things sober. Even though she was being beaten senseless, Jade couldn't help but notice he was enjoying every second of it.

At the moment, Jade lay naked under a comforter in a fetal positon on the bed. Other than an occasional whimper of pain, the Goth neither moved nor spoke. Already in shock from the terrible revelation about the true nature of Beck, he had subsequently beaten and raped her into the near catatonic state she was currently in.

Beck, who had since redressed, was in the kitchen trying to decide what to make for dinner. Jade was in no condition to do anything so he'd have to do it. Eventually he would have Jade cook all the meals and do all the cleaning, but for now he realized some sacrifices needed to be made.

Having decided, he walked into the bedroom and ran his fingers through Jade's hair. She however didn't react.

"Babe, I'm making pasta tonight with mushrooms. I'll start it in a short bit so dinner will be ready about 6. I don't think you'll be quite up to dinner, so you can rest in here for the evening. Someday you'll thank me for this!"

"BAM, BAM, BAM" Suddenly rang out the sound, of someone pounding at their apartment door.

Beck stood up and cursed loudly "Who in the fuck is that?"

The response came a second later, in the unmistakable voice of an utterly furious sounding, Tori Vega. "Beck, you let me in right now!"

Hearing the voice Jade lifted her head slightly and whimpered Tori's name.

Beck however, promptly slapped her. "Shut up! Looks like Tori did come for you, but know this. It's not going to help you one damn bit. Now stay quiet or so help me god…."

Jade went quiet and lowered her head as Beck exited the bedroom and closed the door.

Arriving at the apartment door, Beck grabbed the doorknob but didn't open it. "Go away Tori. Jade's not home."

"Beck you open this door or I'm calling the cops. I'll tell them I heard screams coming from your apartment. You can talk to me or the cops, your choice!" Demanded Tori.

Beck opened the door, and gave Tori a rather mocking smile. "So nice of you to stop by, Do come in."

The Latina looked as if she had come directly from her job at the bank, as she was wearing a green skirt with matching top and black belt.

Striding into the room past Beck, the very agitated Tori, turned to Beck. "I just got Jade's phone message. Where is she?"

Beck chuckled. "I told you Jade isn't here. She went to the grocery store after work and I don't know anything about any message."

"You're lying!" Tori snapped, as she made a move towards the closed bedroom door.

Beck tightly grabbed Tori's arm, his eyes growing cold. "I told you, she's not here. Leave…right NOW!"

Tori, in one solid motion yanked her arm free, reached into her purse and pulled out a black pistol. "Where's Jade! Take me too her now!"

Somewhat surprised by the pistol, Beck took a step back. "Calm down."

Ignoring Beck, Tori burst through the closed bedroom door to see Jade on the bed. It was a sight that filled Tori with revulsion as it was obvious that she had been beaten to a pulp. She was mostly covered but could see her face was bruised and caked with dried blood that had come from her nose.

Tori ran to Jade and touched her motionless form to see if the Goth was still breathing, she was. Only then did Jade open the one eye that hadn't swollen shut. Jade looked broken, both in body and in spirit.

"It's none of your damn business Tori!" Beck, who had come into the bedroom said sternly.

Tori got off the bed and her hand shaking slightly, pointed the pistol squarely at Beck. "What did you do to her?"

Beck, looking rather defiant, took a step into the room towards Tori. "What needed to be done? Again you need to stop sticking your nose in mine and Jade's business."

"Step back, I have a gun." Tori said, only now her voice along with the gun in her hand was shaking.

Sensing Tori was losing her nerve; Beck took another step closer. "You're not going to use that."

Starting to look visibly nervous, Tori took a step back, but could go no further as a dresser was directly behind her. "Stop or I'll shoot."

Not looking impressed in the slightest, Beck took yet another step towards the Latina. "You'll do nothing of the sort. You don't have the guts."

Looking from her position on the bed, Jade watched in dismay as Tori's courage seemed to vanish before her very eyes. The closer Beck got, the more intimidated and fearful Tori seemed to get.

By now Tori could barely hold the gun steady at all. "Stand back, I mean it Beck."

Now within two feet of Tori, Beck looked down at the gun and suddenly laughed. "That's not even a real gun."

Her hands now shaking like a leaf, Tori held it up only to have Beck snatch it away.

Beck held up the gun and shook his head. "It's a rubber prop. Oh my god, I remember this gun. It's a prop from that play we did in senior year, Murder in the library. You were the killer in that one weren't you."

Before Tori could respond, Beck smashed Tori in the right temple with the hard rubber gun, knocking Tori to the ground.

"You're pathetic Tori, what could Jade or anyone else ever see in you."

Tears now forming her in her eyes and a line of blood running down the side of her head, Tori screamed. "You're a fiend!"

Beck grabbed the Latina and after pulling her up, pushed her towards the doorway. "You know I'm actually glad Jade found out. Now I can drop the Mr. Nice guy act. But for you, this is what's going to happen. You're going to leave. Tomorrow Jade and I are going to take out a restraining order against you as you've been making repeated threats against us. It will be your second one, I believe. Then you will leave Jade and I alone forever. I've had it with your interference."

Again before Tori could respond Beck punched her in the back, knocking her to the floor. Beck then grabbed her by the throat. "She's my girl, not yours, you dirty fucking dyke. If I ever see you talking to Jade again you're dead! GOT IT!"

With a look of utter defeat in her eyes, Tori nodded. "OK."

Jade was utterly heartbroken to see Tori leaving her. Mustering up all her strength, she weakly called out. "Tori!"

"I told you to shut up!" Yelled Beck at Jade.

Turning his attention to Tori, Beck pointed to the door. "Now get the fuck out!"

Now sobbing, Tori slowly got up off the floor and slowly made her way to the door. As she got to the door, the Latina turned. "I'll leave you both alone forever, but please just answer me this. Answer it and I'll go."

Beck made an impatient roll of his eyes. "What?"

"Why did you rape her 3 years ago at Hunter Burns graduation party. She would have just gotten back with you anyway. Why?"

Beck ran his hand through his hair with a hearty laugh, "Why? Why did I rape her?"

Tori wiped a tear, only to have another quickly replace it.

Looking rather proud of himself, Beck smiled. "I do with her what I want too. She's got to learn to be a proper woman. Do what she's fucking told and keep her mouth shut. I raped her 3 years ago for the same reason I raped her today, which is the same reason I raped her the day before she moved in with you and the same reason I did so last Halloween. Because I can and each time, it further beats down her will. I'm the man and she submits to me. It also reminds her who's in charge. I've been working on her for some time, a lot of carrot and a lot of stick. Despite your meddling, I've been coming along fine. I've taken by force her more than 50 times and I've gotten her to come back to me each and every time, now that's a fucking accomplishment. She's always going to come back to me. Just like a beautiful, wild horse, you have to break it before you can ride it and that's what I did to Jade. I'm fucking proud of it."

Jade who was in a lot of pain, had crawled from the bed to the door way. From there she had heard Beck proudly brag about how he had had manipulated, beaten and forced her into submission. Even in her shattered mind, was it clear he was a sadist.

But for Jade, the hardest part was the fact that Tori was leaving her. Having blown her one chance at happiness, she could only whimper in despair.

Beck who had spotted Jade out of the corner of her eye, turned and glared at the Goth. "Did I tell you to leave the bedroom!"

As Beck turned her attention to her, Jade looked up at Tori. Even half traumatized, Jade noticed something odd. A moment ago, Tori looked intimidated, beaten, humiliated and was practically sobbing.

But now, the Latina stood up straight, stopped crying, lifted her chin as her whole demeanor suddenly changed. Now she looked cold, confident and rather business like.

"Thank you Beck. That's all we needed." Said the Latina in an somewhat, Icy tone of voice.

Beck turned back to Tori and hissed. "What are you thanking me for, get the fuck out!"

It was then Beck noticed that Tori longer looked intimated or upset. She didn't budge either, not moving one inch from where she was standing. He really didn't care however; as he knew he had won.

"Tori, I'm not going to say it again. Get the fuck out!" Warned beck.

Instead of doing as he ordered, Tori dashed away from the door and shouted. "Rumpelstiltskin!"

There was a loud Bang and a fraction of a second later, the door of the apartment practically blew off its hinges. That was followed by 3 policemen, in full tactical gear armed with semi-automatic MP5's, who suddenly burst into the apartment and made a beeline for Beck.

Very surprised, Beck attempted to move back. He however didn't get more than a foot before the three officers had slammed him to the ground and handcuffed him.

Half in shock, half furious, the helpless Beck was pulled off the ground and immediately screamed at Tori.

"You are so done Vega! I'm so going to sue you and the police department so fast it will make your head spin. I'm going to destroy you!"

Tori walked over to Beck and gave a rather Jade like smirk. "You really think so Beck."

The Latina then grabbed her blouse and ripped open the front, to reveal a long wire taped to her chest. It ran from her hip up between her breasts where it ended in a small microphone.

His face suddenly turning ashen, Beck gasped. "You were wearing a wire."

**What a nice little fake out wasn't it?** **Tori acted all beaten and humiliated so she could trick Beck into confessing his crimes on tape. So what do you think?**

**The story title is a reference to an episode of the 1960's British TV show, "The Prisoner"**

**For those interested The Prisoner which is a TV show considered far ahead of its time, is a show about an intelligence agent who after quitting his job is kidnapped. He is then placed in what appears to be an serene seaside village, in which there is no escape and everyone is only referred to only as a number. The village is a place where an unknown world power places people it wants to break in order to gain information to them. The intelligence agent who is then referred to as #6, struggles to avoid being broken and at the same time escape. **

**In the episode that this chapter is named after, "Hammer into anvil" #6 after seeing the sadistic head of the village, known only as #2, drive a young woman to suicide, decides to retaliate against him. #6 using deceit and guile, continually, feeds #2's own paranoia until he finally has a mental breakdown. **

**There are certain parallels, as Tori uses deceit and guile to cause the sadistic Beck, to essentially hang himself. **


	21. The Road Ahead

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 21 – The road ahead.**

**No One's POV.**

His face suddenly turning ashen, Beck gasped. "You were wearing a wire."

Ignoring him momentarily, Tori ran into the bedroom and returned a second later with a comforter. She then placed over the naked and bruised form of Jade, who was still on the floor.

At this point a tall detective with black hair and olive skin came in. "Tori are you ok?"

"Yes, other than a small cut, I'm fine Detective Gallo, but Jade needs help."

Detective Gallo poked his head out the door, "Hey guys, we have a woman in here that needs help, pronto."

No sooner as he said that, two paramedics with a gurney rolled into the room and immediately headed towards Jade.

Knowing that Jade was in the safe hands of the paramedics, Tori got up and walked to Beck who was still being held by the three tactical officers. Gone, was Becks arrogant swagger. At the moment he looked like a frightened child, who was about to pee his pants.

"You tricked me! It was all just an act." Beck's voice squeaked in disbelief.

"My greatest performance. Such a pity no one will ever see it." Remarked Tori, with a small measure of disappointment.

"No…it can't be."

"You see Beck, I walked away 3 years ago and ever since I've barely been able to live with myself. After that, I made a vow that I would never turn my back on Jade again, no matter the circumstance. I got Jade's message a few minutes after she sent it. Knowing she needed help, I called my dad. He then called a friend from the police academy, who transferred to New York a few years ago; Detective Gallo here. Detective Gallo, his captain and I realized we had a serious situation on our hands. Once we spoke with Dr. Cortez, we fully understood what was going on. Using his advice we very quickly formulated a plan. Dr. Cortez said that if you had thought you had won, it would be almost child's play to get you to boast about or confess what you did. He said you'd practically be dying to do so. I even talked to Sikowitz, who gave me some last minute pointers on how to look utterly defeated. They wired me up and I went in with my fake gun. I just needed to play my part, appear to lose my nerve and get you to talk. The whole plan was hastily planned and executed, but thank God it worked."

Tori turned to Detective Gallo. "You got him on tape, Right?"

Detective Gallo looked to Beck with distain. "Yeah, clear as a bell, admitting to one rape in California. 3 specific rapes in New York and a reference to possibly several dozen others. It appears he also hit you Tori, so we can add assault to that pile o charges."

Beck's mouth opened and closed a few times as the panic stricken actor seemed to grow more desperate. Finally he looked to Jade as she was being placed on the stretcher and pleaded.

"Jade tell them….it's all a mistake….please."

The severely beaten Goth looked at him and using all of her might screamed. "RAPIST!"

Suddenly shifting from despair to anger, Beck glared at Tori. "You turned her against me, you Bitch!"

Tori then punched Beck right in the face, then kicked him in the nuts, causing him fall to the floor with a pitiful moan.

Standing over him, Tori seemed to grow utterly enraged and for a moment, she appeared as if she was going to kick him in the head. Instead she spat on him and hissed . "I got you…..it took me three years, but I finally got you. Maybe, just maybe, I can finally look at myself in the mirror again. But know this….I GOT YOU, YOU WORTHLESS SON OF A BITCH!"

Beck let out a groan and promptly whined. "She hit me, I want to press charges."

Detective Gallo, looked to the three tactical officers. "Gentlemen, did you see any assault take place. I didn't."

All three shrugged, shook their heads and answered in unison. "No sir."

Detective Gallo then looked to the two paramedics. "Did you two see anything?"

The two paramedics briefly looked at each other, with one finally responding. "See what? We were too busy attending to our patient."

Detective Gallo pulled Beck off the floor and handed him to the Tactical officers. "Sorry, can't help you. Beck Oliver I'm placing you under arrest on the charges of rape, assault and whatever else the district attorney comes up with."

Gallo looked to the tactical officers and motioned to the door. "Read him his rights and take this piece of shit to booking."

Turning his attention to Tori, Gallo smiled. "You did great, your father would be proud."

"Thank you ever so much. Can I go with Jade?"

Gallo nodded. "Yeah, me and the evidence guys will finish here. In any case, your father would flay me alive if I didn't make sure you were properly checked out by a doctor. Get that cut on the side of your head looked at. You ride with Jade and my partner, Detective Vanfleet will meet you there. She'll make sure that Jade's rape kit is done and your statement is taken. Don't worry about your dad, I'll call him and let him know you did fine."

"Detective Gallo, We're ready to transport Miss West." Said one of the paramedics.

"Got it, how is she?"

"Not counting emotional trauma, she's pretty banged up and seems to be in a lot of pain, we need to move."

"Ok, Miss Vega will be going with you. Get going." Ordered the detective.

As the paramedics wheeled Jade out of the apartment, a now worried Tori walked right alongside her. Jade was not awake but stirring and appeared to be in pain.

Within minutes, Tori and Jade both were in the ambulance headed towards the hospital. In fact, they were headed to the hospital that Jade worked at. As soon as they got going, the paramedic in the back, bandaged up Tori's head.

Tori then took Jade's hand and held it all the way to the hospital. When they arrived at the hospital, Tori and Jade were taken to separate area's in the emergency room. Tori didn't want to separate from Jade, but knew it was necessary.

Tori was checked over and treated by the doctors for the cut on her head. Tori also had her wire removed, while answering questions from a tall red-haired female detective named Grace Vanfleet.

"I just checked and they've done the rape kit for Jade, so everything on this end is going alright."

Tori took a deep breath and exhaled. "Considering how quickly we threw this thing together, I'm amazed we pulled it off."

Grace put her hand on Tori's shoulder. "I've seen informants and other people we've had wired, fall totally apart and some of these people were hardened career criminals. I was down in the police van listening. You did awesome Job. He was a real dirt bag."

The doctor discharged her, saying her only injuries were a bruise on her back and a bruise and cut on her temple. He stictched up Tori's temple, gave her something for the pain and said she was free to go.

"What about my friend?"

"She's still being treated. You can wait in the waiting room just down the hall and someone will be with you as soon as they know the full extent of her injuries."

Detective Vanfleet accompanied Tori to the waiting room where she then called her dad. He was much relieved that she was alright and quite proud that she pulled it off.

Once that was done, all Tori could do was wait.

"I'm really worried about Jade. I've been here for almost an hour." Said Tori with a great deal of worry.

Just then, A doctor with brownish hair and tired look came up. "Miss Vega, Detective Vanfleet?

Both stood up and nodded.

"What about my friend Jade?"

"I'm Dr. Snyder. I've been attending to Miss West. She has a broken rib, a broken nose, her left eye socket is slightly cracked and she has so many bruises on her body, it looks like a star chart. But the good news is here is nothing serious to worry about, at least physically. She was very lucky; Mr. Oliver had punched her 3 or four times in the midsection right near her spleen, a few more hard blows and it could have ruptured. As far as the nose and the eye socket, we have our plastic surgeon, Dr. Jacobs, working on it fixing it now. She's very good. We'll be keeping her here for 2 to 3 days, just to be sure."

"Can I see her?" Tori asked anxiously.

"Not at the moment, once Dr. Jacobs is finished. Dr. Cortez is going to evaluate her mental state, it's not my field, but she's in a bad way. I'll have him talk to you, as soon as he's done."

"Thank you Dr. Snyder."

Grace smiled and turned to Tori, as the Doctor walked away. "She's going to be fine. I can stay with you of course."

Tori shook her head. "No Detective you've done so much already. Plus I'd like to be alone for a while. I just need some time to process all of this."

Detective Vanfleet pulled out a card and handed it to Tori. "I know my partner gave you his, but here's mine. Call me any time if you need anything. We'll check up on Jade in the morning. Plus you'll need to come in and fill out some paperwork. Do you need a ride home?"

"No, I'll just take the subway or a cab. Thank you Detective. Have a good night."

"You did great Tori, don't forget that. You came through when she needed you. Have a good night."

As Tori watched Detective walk off, she found herself still feeling a great deal of guilt. Yes she had come through today, but 3 years ago she had walked off. Alone and coming down off the high, of rescuing Jade, Tori also felt a bit depressed.

"She wouldn't be here if I hadn't walked away 3 years ago." Tori lamented.

For another hour and a half, Tori sat there thinking of all the things she could have done differently.

She was in deep thought she was approached by Dr. Cortez.

"Tori?"

Startled, Tori looked up. "Oh…I'm sorry I didn't hear you coming. Thank you for your insight into Beck's mind earlier. It was invaluable."

Dr. Cortez smiled. "I'm glad I was able to help."

"All I had to do is let him think he'd won and he just spilled it. How is Jade?"

Gesturing down the corridor, Dr. Cortez said. "I was just coming to update you. I've finished my preliminary evaluation and she's been moved to her room. Come with me."

"So what's the story?" Tori asked as they walked.

"She was already in shock before the events of this afternoon. She had found out that everything about Beck and their relationship was a lie. The fact that she knows she was played for an utter and complete fool from day one, was a staggering blow to her self-image. Being badly raped and beaten, has severely traumatized her."

Tori sighed deeply. "It's my fault."

"No, stop that right now. She told me the story. Yes, you made a mistake. But mistakes are human. You were up against near insurmountable odds, so stop blaming yourself. What you need to realize is that she needs support, right now. She's got a long road ahead of her."

"Has she said much?"

"Since she's arrived, absolutely nothing. She wasn't totally unresponsive, I did asked her some questions and for a time she did nod to indicate yes or no. The rest of the time she simply stares off into space or looks too afraid to make so much as a sound."

He then pointed to a room, "Here she is. I've just given her a sedative to help her sleep, so she's going to be sleepy. You can see her for a minute."

Suddenly very anxious, Tori walked into the room to find Jade in bed, she had a bandage over her left eye, her nose was bandaged up and the rest of her face was a sea of bruises. Just seeing her like this, was very painful.

"Jade?"

The Goth slowly opened her one eye and after a moment said in a near whisper. "You came for me!"

Tori found herself suddenly and totally overwhelmed by both sorrow and guilt. Tears quickly burst from her eyes.

"I'm sorry Jade, it's all my fault."

Jade shook her head indicating no, but otherwise said nothing.

Tori took a moment to compose herself, before speaking again.

"I'm also sorry I had to fool you with my performance today. I needed both of you to totally believe, I had lost my nerve and was leaving. It was the only way to get him to confess what he did. He's going to go to jail for a very long time."

"Away!" Said Jade with hint of relief in her voice.

After a quiet moment, Jade once again whispered. "Can I stay with you?"

Tori quickly wiped a tear. "God yes, I'll take care of you. Yes."

However at Tori said that she reached out to take Jade's hand only to have the Goth quickly pull it away, a look of terror in her eyes.

"Can't….can't….can't be touched."

Dr. Cortez, who had been watching from the doorway, stepped forward. "I was afraid of that, as a result of her trauma, she's developed a fear of being touched. I saw initial signs of it earlier. She's not doing it to put you off Tori. She just terrified of being touched right now, even by you. Please don't take it personally."

By now Jade's expression had turned from fear to sorrow as she seemed to suddenly grow very tired.

"Vega..." Was all Jade said before drifting into sleep.

Dr. Cortez put a reassuring hand on Tori's shoulder. "It's ok, we'll work through this. Come with me out in the hallway, I need to speak with you for another moment."

After following Dr. Cortez out Tori looked to him, wiping the last of her tears. "Will she be ok?"

He nodded. "Jade is strong, but needs help rebuilding herself. I think her staying with you is a good thing as you can really be there for her but, there is something I will have to caution you about."

"What?"

"You two had started to date and explore your feelings for each other before your, break up, and her subsequent return to Beck. I have to strongly advise you to not try to resume your romantic relationship right away."

Tori couldn't help but look very disappointed. "Why?"

"Well for starters you want your relationship to have a solid foundation and Jade is very unstable at the moment. Moving forward with a romance now could complicate her recovery and lessen the chances of any relationship between you lasting. She needs time to pull herself back together. For the moment, what she needs is a friend, a solid friend she can depend on. I know you can do it."

Tori while wanting to resume their dating, now began to understand why it had to be postponed. Besides, it's rather difficult to romance a person who can't bear to be touched. "I think I get it."

"There's another reason. I've talked to her parents and they are paying for Jade to become one of my patients and I will help her. But she has lots of emotions and issues to work though and you living with her will have to deal with some of that. One of those will be anger. At times she will be very easy to anger and I can guarantee that at least one point, she will take that anger out on you. Now I'm not telling you this to dissuade you from having her stay or eventually dating but she has a long road ahead of her and it won't be easy."

Tori found herself answering without so much as a moment's hesitation. "Dr. Cortez, I care for her a lot and I will do what it takes to help her get well. If that means just being a friend for now, than so be it. I will walk that road with her, every single step of the way."

Dr. Cortez smiled. "I can tell you really mean that."

"I do" Tori said, with the utmost conviction.

"Good, than if you don't have any other questions, I'll bid you goodnight."

"Thank you Dr. Cortez." Tori said as she turned to leave.

Heading out of the hospital, Tori couldn't help about that road ahead of them. She would help Jade, not just due to her feelings of guilt, but because she truly cared for the Goth. It would be a long and possibly difficult journey. Tori knew that she may need to walk next to her, ahead of her or maybe even 20 steps behind her, but whatever Jade needed.

Tori would be there.

**Jade is free of Beck, but now she had to pick up the shattered remains of her psyche and put them back together. Tori, be it as a girlfriend or just a friend will be there every single stop of the way.**

**This may sound like the end of the story, but more is coming. We're through the bad part, now we can slowly see the pair come back together. Keep reading.**


	22. Patience

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 22 – Patience**

**Tori's POV**

I didn't sleep well after getting home from the hospital. I just kept tossing and turning, worrying about Jade and obsessing what Beck had done to her. Once she was a proud, tough, confident woman, now she was a mere shell of a person.

I've been told it's not my fault, but I certainly had a part to play in this little drama.

When I got the phone message from Jade yesterday, I told my supervisor I had to leave early as it was an emergency. Today was Friday and I had decided to call in, saying I was still dealing with the emergency. I had far too much to do today. Plus it was Friday and I had a shift at The Playpen, but I would go to that. I need someone to talk to and Barbie will gladly listen.

I got up, dressed, had a quick bite to eat and headed to my first stop, the police station. I was met there by Detective Gallo and his partner. There, I had some forms to fill out. It was all rather routine, but I had one other piece of business. I had to get permission to get into Jade's apartment and get her stuff out. I wanted her stuff out of there today. Even if she's not coming home right away, I just can't stand the thought of her stuff in that horrible place.

I was told that was ok and was told the landlord would be told to be expecting me.

I asked about the current state of the case against Beck and was told the D.A. would be meeting with her this afternoon. They expected formal charges would be filed on Monday.

It was mid-morning when I got out of the police station and after a stop at a florist I made my way to the hospital. Entering I found I was rather nervous about visiting Jade, though I really didn't know why.

As I came towards Jade's room I saw Dr. Cortez.

"Hello Doctor, how is Jade today?"

"She's Ok, but she's spent most of the morning, silently staring out the window. I think she'll be glad to see you, though I don't think she'll actually show it. Just be patient. Oh, I have some good news for her. The hospital has given her leave from her job and she can have it back when she feels up to it."

"Thank you. I'll let her know that." I said before heading into Jade's room.

I took several steps inside and there was Jade, looking as beat up as ever, staring out the window with an expression that indicated she was deep in thought.

"Hi Jade." I said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

Other than blinking the Goth, acted as if she hadn't even noticed me, she just kept looking out the window.

I held up the vase of flowers I got her. "I got you these flowers, thought it would brighten up your room."

Again she didn't react, much to my frustration.

I placed the vase of flowers on a nearby table and sat down, next to but not too near the bed. I guessed she didn't want her space invaded either.

I started to talk about how I stopped at the police station and how the District Attorney was going to stop by but she seemed to be totally ignoring my presence.

Maybe it's just me, but I went through a lot to get Jade free of Beck and to be ignored was really annoying. She needed to engage with people to get better, not just stare out the window like a mannequin in department store window.

"Earth to Jade?"

No response.

I huffed loudly, making sure to sound annoyed and again I was ignored.

I thought for a minute how to get Jade to snap out of it, I realized that if I was going to succeed in helping her, I needed to be patient.

So I just pulled out my phone and started to play candy crush, she would talk to me when she felt ready.

I played that for a while, then I emailed Robbie and Andre, letting them know what happened. Both emailed back quickly, informing me how appalled they were about Beck's actions and wished Jade a speedy recovery.

I waited patiently and my patience was rewarded when almost 80 minutes, later Jade suddenly turned at looked at me.

Now that she finally noticed I was here, I suddenly found myself with nothing to say. So I just said.

"Hey."

"Hey." Jade said back in a soft tone of voice.

Then she pointed to the bandage over her left eye. "They say I have to wear this for a few weeks. My eye socket is cracked, though they say my vision won't be affected. Not to mention my nose is broken. I look terrible don't I?"

"Do you really want me to answer that question?"

Jade shifted in bed and let out a small groan of pain. "No."

"Oh…I'm supposed to tell you, the hospital is keeping your job until you get better. You're on leave at the moment."

Not looking thrilled, Jade nodded. "Ok."

"I got permission to get your stuff today. Any special instructions?"

Jade thought for a moment. "My dresser is the one painted black, everything in it and everything on top of it. Do not forget my scissors! My bathroom stuff is in a green basket under the sink. My bags and a suitcase are in the closet. My laptop is on the desk in the main room. You've seen it and if you happen to break anything of he who shall not be named, than all the better. I want to be alone, you can go now!"

Being suddenly dismissed left me feeling a bit put off, but under the circumstances it was perfectly understandable. As soon as she finished talking, Jade turned away and looked back towards the window.

"Ok then. Later." I said before departing.

45 minutes later, I was at the door of Jade's apartment. Detective Gallo had called the landlord and he was expecting me. He walked me up to Jade's door which was still covered with Police tape.

"You can just lock the door and close it before you leave. I just wish those police hadn't broken the door down. I had to have it replaced. I'm taking it out of their security deposit." Grumbled the landlord, as he unlocked the door.

After unlocking the door, the landlord said goodbye and walked off. I paused for a moment and took a deep breath, before pulling back the police tape and opening the door.

After entering the apartment and closing the door behind me, it appeared exactly as it did yesterday. The place was filled with an unearthly silence that was quickly broken by the low hum of the refrigerator.

Just knowing what happened here, I quickly grew very uncomfortable. It was just a very bad feeling in the started in the pit of my stomach and slowly seemed to permeate my whole body. Not wanting to remain any longer than I had to, I threw open the closet door and found a large duffle bag, backpack and suitcase as Jade had described.

I took those items, walked into the bedroom and as I was about to toss them on the bed, I froze.

The covers the bed had been pulled back to reveal there was blood on the sheets. There were several spots about the size of a grapefruit, along with a number of smaller ones. That sickening feeling inside of me seemed to grow 10 fold and for a moment thought I'd lose my lunch.

"Bastard!" I cursed.

Covering up the bloodstains, I quickly got to work emptying out Jade's dresser. I figured out which side of the bed was hers and threw the horror novel, pearpod and alarm clock in the suitcase as well. I then moved to the bathroom and got her stuff as well. Just as I was about her laptop I spotted a number of photographs on the wall.

A few were landscapes but the rest were of Jade and Beck. In each picture Beck was smiling and Jade…well she doesn't usually smile….but she did smirk in a few. But it was Beck's happy smile that seemed to mock me and the guilt I felt.

There was one with both of them in formal dress, probably some fancy party I guess, in an expansive frame. Suddenly filled with rage, I pulled the picture off the wall, threw it to the ground stomped on it, breaking the glass.

Not happy with ruining one picture, I grabbed the trash can and pulled down every single picture of either Beck or Beck with Jade. He had a lot of them together. He probably did that to stress, that they were meant to be together.

I furiously smashed each frame, broke the glass and tore up the photo for every single one. I hated seeing them together and I needed destroy them all. When I had run out of photos on the wall, I still wasn't satisfied. In a frenzy, I searched for more photos and found a couple of photo albums. He seemed to have carefully taken care of them. Every single picture of Beck I found, I removed and destroyed.

When I was finished I threw one of them against the wall. I had become so suddenly and uncontrollably angry I found I could no longer control it.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER! ASSHOLE, I HATE YOU. SHE'S BRIGHT AND SPECIAL AND YOU HAD TO DESTROY HER!" I screamed in rage as I threw another of his precious photo albums against the wall.

I then sank to the floor and with my emotions running out of control, burst into tears. I cried for several minutes, before getting my emotions under control. I had suppressed a lot of emotions during my time alone and I'm just realizing how much I still have to come to terms with things.

After my outburst was over, I finished packing and even found Jade's keys, called a cab and headed out. There was no way, I'd be able to lug all this crap in the subway.

By the time I got home it was already 2:30 in the afternoon and I was tired. Having to work at The Playpen that night, I dropped Jade's things in a corner and took a nap.

After 2 hour nap, I ate dinner and headed to work at The Playpen. Just as I started to get dressed for my shift, Barbie came in and instantly looked at the bandage on my temple.

"What happened?"

"Jade's boyfriend Beck, smashed me in the head with a rubber gun."

Barbie's face scrunched up briefly. "I get the impression there's just a bit more to the story here."

So as we dressed, I told her the whole story of Jade's discovery, her attempt to leave, Beck catching her, what he did to her after that and my little charade.

When I finished, Barbie's eyes were open as wide as they could be. "Oh my God, aren't you are just the bad ass cavalry coming to the rescue. If you weren't into Jade, I would so take you to bed for that. Hell that's worth a whole weekends of animalistic sex."

Then with an embarrassed look, Barbie then quipped. "But I digress…I guess I'll have to erase all the nasty shit I wrote about her on the wall of the men's room."

Seriously, did she write crap about Jade on the wall? "What?"

"Relax sugar, I wrote it on the wall right after she went back to the creep. I would have put her phone number but I didn't have it. I'll just paint over the name Jade with the name of one of the Kardashians or something. Sorry."

"She's moving back in with me, hopefully on Monday, when they are planning to release her from the hospital. I'm going to help with her recovery. As I told you, we're just going to be friends for now."

Barbie put her arm around me and grew serious. "You're doing a noble thing and I'm proud of you, but don't think for a second you and your friendship won't be tested. You also need to realize that the old Jade, may never come back. I knew a girl in high school who was raped; she was never the same again. She had this really nice smile, one of those ones that make you feel warm inside and after, I never saw that smile again."

The thought of old Jade not being back, filled me with dread. "I hope not."

"Look, I'm not saying this to bring you down. I'm just want you to know what you're in store for. The thing is, I know you can do it." Barbie then smiled warmly. "Hey, If you ever need someone to lean on or maybe even just a nice multiple orgasm….we'll I'm your girl."

She was a true and good friend, and the funny thing is…I'm positive the offer of a multiple orgasm is a genuine one."

"Thanks Barbie." I said with a peck on the cheek.

She laughed and touched where I kissed her. "Sure, get me all hot and bothered. Now I'm going to have to sleep with one of the strippers now to relieve myself of all this tension…..COOL!"

Talking to Barbie helped a lot.

I saw Jade the next day and she was much like the day before, spending most of her time looking out the window. She did talk to me briefly, saying the District Attorney came by and asked all kinds of questions. She did tell me she answered all of him. I had told her that I had gotten her stuff, to which she said.

"Was anything of his broken?"

I took a deep breath and exhaled, "Every single picture of him or him and you, in both the photo albums and the pictures on the walls were destroyed. All the frames were smashed as well."

Jade then looked at me with a somewhat neutral expression. I had no idea if she'd smile or get mad.

"You did well, thank you. I want to be alone now."

Sunday came and I heard form Detective Gallo, Jade was able to come up with the dates of 20 separate times Beck raped her, not including the other day. So the District attorney is going to charge him with 2 counts of assault and 20 counts of 1st degree sexual assault. I was told Beck could potentially get life without parole.

I told Jade about the charges when I visited her and she barely acknowledged what I said. I sat with her, for another 2 hours without her acknowledging me, before I went home.

On Monday I came to take Jade home, I had taken yet another day off to help her come home. Upon reaching the hospital, he said that Jade was scheduled to see him twice a week for therapy sessions and he was seeing about finding a suitable group therapy for her. He told me to be patient and gave his card in case there were any problems. He said to make sure Jade got lots of rest, ate well and to try to have her avoid drinking.

Then he walked me into Jade's room where she was ready to be wheeled out in a wheel chair. She still had bandage over her nose and eye and several bruises were very visible.

"Ready to go Jade?"

"Whatever." Muttered Jade with a rather sour look.

The nurse wheeled Jade outside where I had a cab waiting. Wordlessly she got out and put herself in the cab. I then got in and we were on our way.

"I have all of your stuff in the corner, if I've missed anything we or I can go back. I found your keys so we don't have to bug the landlord."

Jade nodded, but remained silent. I've since come to the conclusion that it was best to let Jade talk when she wanted too. Trying to force her to talk by making small talk or the like, my not be the best of ideas.

As we arrived I asked. "Do you need any help with the stairs?"

"No." Jade said sharply.

We went upstairs and as we entered I pointed to the corner.

"I put your bags, suitcases and laptop in the corner. I think I have all right chargers. You can sort through it at your leisure. I've made some space in my storage unit in the basement, in case you want to put any of it down there."

"Ok."

I then pointed to the couch. I got the couch set up with a pillow and a nice blanket. I'm making stir fry tonight so just relax and let me know if you need anything."

Jade ran her hand through her hair. "It's 1:30. I'm going to take a nap. I'm tired."

"Ok, I'm starting dinner at 5. I'll be in my room watching TV if you want anything."

Jade said nothing and lay down on the couch. I spent the rest of the day in my room, watching TV and reading. At 5:30 I came out of my room, to find Jade had just woken up and was watching the scissoring.

"How did you sleep?"

Not looking away from the TV, Jade answered. "Fine."

"Well, I'll be in the kitchen, give me a holler if you need anything."

I was glad to have Jade back, but still my feelings of guilt and deep concern for her well-being plagued me. I made dinner and though normally we eat in the kitchen, I thought Jade would be more comfortable eating on trays at the couch.

We ate dinner in silence as we watched the tail end of the scissoring and the start of another horror film, the 1990 version of night of the living dead. Jade made no attempt at conversation, other than a simple "Thanks" when I put the plate on her tray.

After cleaning up dinner, I walked back in the living room by Jade. "I was going to make Taco's tomorrow. If there is anything special you'd like please let me know and I'll put it on the menu. Don't feel like you need to cook or anything, just relax and tell me if you need anything at all."

It was when I said that, I put my hand on Jade's shoulder in a reassuring manner. I did so without even thinking about it.

The second I touched Jade's shoulder, she instantly shot off the couch, moved away from me and blew her top.

"I told you not to touch me you stupid fat cow or don't you speak English! DON'T TOUCH ME! Or here it is in Spanish so you can get it through your thick skull, NO ME TOQUES."

I was stunned how she went from being quiet and somewhat placid to utterly livid in mere seconds.

Apparently not satisfied by what she had said, Jade continued to berate me. "God are you ever so fucking stupid Vega!"

She then went on for another 30 second so, telling me how stupid I was, before sitting back down. At one point she said I make Trina look like a fucking genius, now that's just mean.

I found my reaction to her was almost instinctive, as I quickly suppressed all my emotions and returned her rant with an icy stare. She simply returned her attention to the TV.

"I'll be in my room." I said in a voice almost devoid of any emotion. I then turned and went into my room, not bothering to look back.

Alone in my room I closed the door and fell onto the bed, with a forlorn sigh. I'm not sure which was more disturbing to me, Jade's sudden burst of intense anger or the fact that I just as quickly went icy cold without even thinking about it. It was like an automatic defense mechanism, she yelled and I just shut down.

How in the hell am I going to be able to help her? I don't have her here more than 8 hours before I accidently set Jade off. For all I know I'm going to do more harm than good. Am I even equipped to do this. I found the questions came quick and hard as my self-confidence quickly faded.

Look at me, I blow up at Jade's apartment one day and totally shut down when she attacks me a couple days later, am I really ready for this? A few hours I was confident I could help her, right at this moment….I'm just not sure.

It's going to be a long road and I think we just took about 5 steps backwards.


	23. The Sword of Damocles

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch **

**Chapter 23 – The Sword of Damocles.**

**Tori's POV.**

It's some 5 weeks since that first day where Jade returned to my apartment. My hopes of us coming together as friends and more, were quickly dashed when I made the mistake of touching Jade. The Goth promptly blew up, causing me to automatically retreat back into my icy persona. I just can't help it sometimes. Shortly afterward, in the privacy of my room, I began to have doubts about whether or not I was really equipped to help her.

The next day Jade acted as if it had never happened and I wisely didn't bring it up. I did find the Goth to be rather withdrawn and very moody. At that point I thought it best to leave Jade alone and let her find her own way.

That very same Day, Beck was officially charged with 20 counts of 1st degree sexual assault and 2 counts of 1st degree battery. He pleaded not guilty and the opening motions for trial were scheduled for September. I told Jade that and she seemed to hardly care. I for one dreaded the thought of a trial and its effect on Jade.

A few days later when she felt a bit better, she went to her old place and got some stuff that had been left behind. Now all her stuff is piled in a corner of my living room or in my storage room in the basement. She did so when I was at work and thus I was not able to help her. I would have offered my help.

To give Jade the most time to rest and recover, I took up the tasks of cooking and cleaning. I hid my disappointment that Jade never once volunteered to help. It was an exercise in patience of course, but I was determined to do what was necessary.

Sadly, a rather distinct pattern began to emerge.

Due to her physical and mental trauma, Jade was on leave from the hospital. So not needing to work, each day Jade would sleep in each day to 10 or 11, get up, eat and watch horror films or read horror novels until midnight. There were variations, as on Tuesday's Jade would go to the hospital for a session with Dr. Cortez. Initially I tried to ask how the sessions went and each time the answer was always, "Fine"

Each day I would get up, go to work, come home and make dinner for us. After that, I'd sometimes she'd sit at my keyboard and write music. I found writing music to be one of the few outlets for my stresses. Sometimes I would simply read in my room.

In the first couple of weeks, I did make numerous attempts to reconnect with Jade. I'd sit and try to watch TV with her, start conversations or sometimes invite her out for something to eat. Each time, Jade seemed uninterested in conversation and attempts to speak with her always went nowhere.

Invitations to go out were always declined. In fact, Jade most of the time appeared either withdrawn or highly agitated. She simply didn't seem interested in speaking with me. Some days she seemed aggravated by attempts to do so. It's not that she didn't talk, but it was in 1-3 word sentences. The funny thing is that I don't think she's thanked me once for anything.

Soon, Jade seemed to become less and less of a friend and more like a morose and ill-tempered stranger, who lived on my couch. She has nightmares sometimes and wakes screaming. Each time I've come out when she's woken up from them, to see if she's ok, but she always just tells me to leave her alone.

I did have a bit of help from Jade's parents, who were very grateful for my efforts. Though they did not come out to visit, they paid for Jade's therapy and sent me money to cover Jade's expenses. I did hear Jade speak to her parents on her new phone, but like with me, the Goth seemed to be uninterested in talking with them. Actually she seemed to like them less than me. The only thing Jade seemed to be interested nowadays, was lying on the couch and watching Horror movies.

Increasingly Jade seemed to retreaingt into a shell. I desperately wanted to help and I tried, but increasingly felt like my efforts were totally futile. At least 5 times I really pressed Jade to talk, she simply blew up at me. Each time I fell back into my icy persona and simply walked away.

I've been through 5 weeks of this, and frankly I see little improvement in her. In fact, the only improvement I have seen, is that her physical injuries have healed. I've been super patient and have worked hard talking care of Jade. But it's taken a toll on me, as I feel increasingly mentally and physically worn out, not to mention increasingly frustrated.

I just find it increasingly harder to do my work in taking care of her. In the last week or so, I feel that the tension in the apartment has increased dramatically. She seems to be increasingly agitated, lately. Perhaps she senses my increasing frustration and simply is responding in kind. I just wish I knew what was going on in her head. I'm afraid to say or do something that would set her back or set her off. A lot of days I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around her.

She's also begun drinking, not a lot, but in the last two weeks, she's had a beer each night. The last 4 nights, she's graduated to 2 beers each night.

I had been keeping all this in until work Saturday night, when I told Barbie.

"So, Jade's just been planted on your couch for the last 5 weeks, barely speaking and doing nothing but eating your food, drinking beer and watching cruddy horror films. Sounds like half the men in my family." Barbie remarked derisively

I shrugged somewhat embarrassedly "I've been trying to be patient."

Barbie's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "There's a difference between being a devoted caretaker and being a doormat. You need to start pushing back?"

"How?"

"Well, for starters, you need to speak with this Dr. Cortez. Jade's parents are footing the bill so get them to give you permission, to talk with him about Jade's case. She is her official doctor you know, that whole confidentiality thing. But you need to talk with him and see how he thinks her treatment is going. Perhaps he can give you advice to better aid her."

I don't know why that never occurred to me. "You think so?"

"Tori, I know she's been through a lot, but she needs a serious kick in the ass. You've shown the patience of a saint and that's not worked, so you'll have to go the other direction. I have a saying, if a halo don't work, then use a pitchfork instead."

For the first time in weeks, I laughed. "I'll do that."

Barbie was right, I had to do something. Things were gradually becoming more and more toxic in the household. After arranging it with Jade's parents, I made an appointment to see Dr. Cortez the following Monday.

**No One's POV.**

Tori had taken 2 hours off of work and met with Dr. Cortez, What he told her, made Tori's Jaw drop and that was just her first reaction.

Exactly 53 minutes after Tori left Dr. Cortez's office, Tori entered her apartment and loudly slammed the door shut.

"JADE! I WANT TO TALK TO YOU NOW!" Tori barked in a voice, that made it painfully obvious she was not happy.

Jade huffed in irritation and paused her horror movie, which was 1981's, Dead &amp; Buried.

"What!"

Her tanned skin rapidly turning red, Tori stormed over to the couch and glared at the reclining Goth.

"Jade I just spoke with Dr. Cortez about your sessions and treatment!"

Bounding off the couch, Jade went from annoyed to downright furious in a microsecond. "What in the fuck are you doing talking to MY doctor about, MY treatment!"

"I suppose you're going to say that's an invasion of your privacy too…." Sneered Tori, as she put her hands on her hips.

"Dam Right Vega!"

Tori knew Jade was angry and would probably only get angrier, but she simply didn't care. She had to push back and had no intention of backing down. She did find it hard to keep pressing on as her one instinct was, to shut down and hide.

"I don't care about your fucking privacy Jade, I care about you. Which sadly, makes only one of us."

Jade wasn't backing down either. "You have some way of showing it!"

"Jade, I went out on a limb, risking my life to rid you of Beck, then for the last 5 weeks, I've been cleaning, cooking and taking care of you, worrying myself sick and not once asking you for anything. So don't even go there! I do all that and what do I find out from Dr. Cortez. That you're not cooperating with him and resisting his attempts to treat you. He said he asked you to work out and exercise, as that always helps improve a person's mental state. All you've done, is hold down my fucking couch."

"STAY OUT OF IT!" Jade screamed.

Hearing those words, which Jade had used before a number of times when she was trying to break up her and Beck, pushed Tori from furious to utterly livid.

"Not only that, he asked you to join group therapy with people who have been through similar experiences and you refused. He asked you to keep a journal of your feelings and thoughts and you refused, because you said it was stupid. He gave you the names of several books dealing directly with dealing with sexual abuse and you haven't looked up one of them. All I've seen you read is horror. He even gave you some helpful websites to check out and you told him you didn't bother. I've done all this to help you get better, putting up with your shit and all you've done is lay here in a pissed off mood for the last several weeks, doing fucking nothing. You know what really burns me, never once have you said a simple thank you. I thought you wanted to get better, so we could be friends again, maybe even start to date again, but I guess I was wrong….."

Looking like she was about to explode as she had in the last several weeks, Jade menacingly took a step forward. "FUCK YOU VEGA!"

"NO JADE, FUCK YOU, YOU ROTTEN INGRATE." Screamed Tori.

With a blood curdling scream Jade, with one hand, grabbed the front of Tori's shirt and quickly raised a fist to punch Tori.

Except she didn't.

Instead of punching Tori, Jade froze, her fist hanging in the air like the proverbial, Sword of Damocles.

At this moment, two separate things happened.

First, the reason why Jade didn't throw the punch was that out of the corner of her eye, she happened to see her own reflection in an antique mirror that Tori had on a nearby wall.

That image of course, was Jade, with an utterly furious expression and a raised fist about to punch Tori's lights out. Of that image, Jade focused particularly on the expression of rage that was on her face. In that instant, Jade happened to recognize the frighteningly familiar expression.

It happened to be the exact same expression Jade would see on Beck's face, just before he'd beat the crap out of her.

One other thing came to Jade's attention, the brief look of terror on Tori's face, in that moment before she froze.

In one horrible instant, Jade realized she had begun to become, the thing she hated and feared most. It filled her with equal amounts of terror and revulsion.

The second thing that happened, was Tori's reaction. After a moment of pure terror in which she feared she'd be struck, Tori saw Jade suddenly freeze, with an odd expression on her face.

Not knowing why Jade froze or what she was thinking, Tori's defense mechanism kicked in and her features suddenly went cold and hard.

"Go ahead Jade." Tori said in a low voice, with eyes devoid of emotion.

"Go head. If that makes you feel better, then go ahead. Hit me. Punch me in the jaw. Do it! I wanted to help you. I told you I'd be with you every step of the journey. A journey that you need to take to get better. But you must take the steps themselves. I can't carry you!"

Jade didn't answer, in fact she remained as she had a moment ago, looking as if ready to strike.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still, with the pair just looking at each other in silence.

Then without another word Tori roughly brushed away Jade's hand, which had still been holding onto her shirt. After that, Tori grabbed her purse and left the apartment.

The sound of the door slamming shut rang in Jade's ears, as the horror of it near actions sunk in. Lowering her fist, Jade began to physically shake.

Not more than a second later, Jade sank to her knees and began to sob.

"My God, what did I almost do!"

**The Sword of Damocles is an ancient Greek story, of a man named Damocles who told his king how fortunate he was, considering all the wealth and power he had. The king offered to switch places with Damocles, so he could experience the same fortune firsthand. Damocles accepted the offer and sat upon the king's throne, surrounded by every luxury imagined. However the king arranged for a sword to be hung directly over the throne, held in place by a single horse hair. **

**Realizing a sword hung directly over his head Damocles begged to be allowed to depart. The king did so, to teach Damocles, that with great power comes with great responsibility and sometimes danger. All of these, can hang above a rulers head, ready to come down on him or her at any moment.**


	24. Life Amongt The Ruins

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, it characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch **

**Chapter 24 – Life amongst the ruins**

**NO One's POV.**

All Jade wanted to do was bury the pain and make it go away. She didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to deal with it she just wanted to numb herself to it and make it go away. So Jade had started to build and emotional dam. Attempts to breach that dam, by Tori or Doctor Cortez were met with stiff resistance and sometimes anger.

So Tori coming in and announcing she had spoken to Dr. Cortez, naturally incurred the wrath of the Goth.

But it wasn't until that split second she saw herself in the mirror, fist raised, did Jade realize what hideous thing she was transforming into.

To her horror, Jade realized that she was essentially turning into Beck. Furthermore Jade realized that had she not seen herself in the mirror she may have really hurt Tori.

That combined with Tori's sudden icy demeanor, goading her into striking, burst Jade's emotional dam right there on the spot.

Jade spent the next hour sobbing uncontrollably as at pretty much the same time, she completely fell apart. The fact that Tori had left and not returned only made Jade feel more guilt ridden.

Even after she stopped crying, Jade was what could be best described as a "Basket case." Her emotions, memories and fears running around like hyper children on a playground.

She attempted to call Tori at this point but the Latina wasn't answering her phone. Jade then tried to leave a message, but found herself too choked up to speak.

Of all the emotions the two biggest and most overwhelming, were self-disgust and fear. Jade was utterly disgusted by her behavior, her uncontrollable urge to hit Tori during the argument. At the same time, it terrified her, as Jade feared she would do it again and not stop herself.

Alone in the apartment, Jade nervously paced back and forth. As she did, another fear began to grow, that Tori once again would abandon her. Thinking back, Jade concluded that she had been so wrapped up in herself she had never once thanked Tori for taking care of her.

For Jade it was a long and terrible evening, as she constantly bounced from despair to guilt to self-loathing to fear and back again.

At about 9:00 pm she again tried to call Tori, but there was no answer and Jade hung up without leaving a message.

Shortly after, exhausted by hours of emotional turmoil, collapsed on the couch and fell asleep.

Though she slept it was a very restless sleep. At one point she thought she Tori return, but wasn't sure if it was a dream.

In her dreams around 2:30, the events of the argument began to play out once again, except Jade found herself an unseen observer. She watched as her other self and Tori argued as they had, hours ago.

Finally the argument came to Tori's words,

_"NO JADE, FUCK YOU, YOU ROTTEN INGRATE."_

Jade watched in horror as her doppelganger grabbed Tori's shirt and then without hesitation, punched Tori in the face. The Latina's head snapped back and no sooner as she had recovered, was hit again.

"NO! STOP IT!" cried Jade to her double, but neither Tori nor the double could hear her.

Jade watched helplessly as again and again her double punched, kicked and brutalized, the now crying Latina.

"Jade, I just want to help you….Please."

As the nightmare continued, Jade became aware of subtle changes to her doubles appearance. With each punch, her double's voice became more like Beck's voice. With each kick her appearance changed just a bit more to look like Beck.

Jade wanted it to stop. She cried, pleaded and screamed, but in vain.

By now, Tori was a bloody bruised mess on the floor and her double was no longer her double.

The figure had transformed into a grinning version of Beck.

He punched Tori once more, then turned to Jade. "Thanks for setting me free babe!"

Now sobbing herself, Jade tried to stop Beck as he grabbed the beaten form of Tori by the hair, but she passed right through them.

Beck laughed and dragged the whimpering form of Tori into the bedroom. Jade tried to follow, but the door slammed shut in her face.

Through the door, Jade became aware of Tori's blood curdling screams. Jade tried to get in, but the door wouldn't budge. She banged, pounded and finally she threw her whole body against it. But while the screams continued, the door would not open.

Finally with a terrible crescendo, Tori's screams abruptly stopped and the door quickly swung open.

Stepping into the room, Jade saw Beck, looking very pleased with himself, as stood over Tori; who was half naked, beaten and dead.

Pulling up his pants, Beck chuckled. "Jade, I never knew you had it in you. I'm proud,damn proud."

Jade opened her mouth to speak, but Beck smiled and as he moved closer, seemed to merge or actually vanish into her body.

Now Jade was alone with Tori, who's sightless eyes seemed to gaze accusingly at her. It was a sight that struck terror in the Goth.

With a start, Jade woke up screaming, realizing she was simply having a nightmare.

Terrified and horribly shaken, Jade got off the couch and walked to Tori's door.

Knock, knock. "Tori?"

No response.

"Tori, please open the door... I...I have to see you. I had a nightmare. Just tell me you're ok. Are you there?" Pleaded Jade.

Though there was no reply, Jade noted the faint sound of someone shifting in or possibly sitting up on the bed. That was followed by brief sound of a floorboard creaking.

Jade, shaking like a leaf, began to cry. "Please answer me."

This time where was a response, but not quite the one Jade wanted.

In a weary and rather icy tone of voice, Jade could hear. "Go back to the couch Jade. You're a grown woman I'm sure someone who sees horror movies all the time can get over a simple nightmare"

Devastated, Jade wordlessly wiped her tears, moved back to the couch, where once again she fell into an exhausted sleep.

Jade woke up to a quiet apartment several hours later. Looking at the clock on the dvd player, she could see it was just after 11:30 Am.

Sitting up on the couch, Jade lowered her head and spontaneously began to cry. She was now sure she'd be kicked out and she'd let down the one person who cared.

Jade was still crying 10 minutes later, when there was a knock on the apartment door.

Almost mechanically,Jade got up and opened up the door, not even bothering to wipe her tears first.

Much to her surprise, it was Barbie.

The blonde on this morning was wearing tight pink shorts and a t-shirt that said_. I will steal your girlfriend._ She was also holding a to-go cup from the local Jetbrew.

"You look terrible." Deadpanned the blonde with the Ice blue eyes, as she walked past Jade into the apartment.

"Tor…Tori's not here, she's at work." Replied Jade, in a heartbroken voice.

"I know that" Barbie then handed Jade the cup of coffee. "Here, I guessed what you liked, so you got black with 2 sugars."

While Jade blankly looked at her coffee, Barbie sat down on the couch.

"I've never been to Tori's place, before. It's rather nice."

"Why are you here?"

Barbie shrugged. "Well if I came here to seduce you, I'd have you naked by now, so since you're still wearing clothes, I've come here to talk to you about Tori and last night. Talk some sense into you."

Jade sat down nervously on the other end of the couch and took a cautious sip of the coffee.

"For God's sake Jade, the coffee's fine."

As Jade took a second sip, Barbie leaned back and began to talk. "Tori was at my place last night. To be blunt, you scared her, you also made her feel pretty friggen worthless."

Jade lowered her head. "It doesn't matter, she's going to kick me out."

"Well for starters, I spent almost 3 hours last night talking with her, she's not going to kick you out. She's scared and horribly hurt, yes without a doubt. But she won't kick you out."

Jade shook her head in disbelief.

"You need to remember she feels so guilty about her failure to free you from Beck, plus her subsequent abandonment of you, she can't possibly even think of abandoning you. But even if that wasn't the case, I still don't think she would."

"I doubt that."

"Jade, she cares about you. She wants you to get better. Your failure to do so, she takes as her own failure."

"Why are you here Barbie, why come to me. You're Tori's friend."

Barbie got up and faced Jade on the couch. "Tori's a special girl, very special. Just seeing how caring and giving she is, not to mention all the crap she's taken from you, tells me she's not only special, she cares for you a lot. From what I know about you, underneath all that human wreckage, is probably a pretty special girl as well. I want her to be happy and I want you to be happy, but my immediate concern is that I think you both are at a very delicate state. You're emotionally a total wreck and Tori has retreated beneath a cold hard shell. She called me this morning about you having a nightmare and what she did. I think she handled it badly. I think at this point, with you in your state, there is a decent chance of one of you really hurting the other or one of you causing the other to do something…rash. I figured I could perhaps, help avoid any unpleasantness. "

"I don't want to hurt her, believe me." Jade suddenly becoming agitated got off the couch and started to pace. "I'm the one that forced her back in her shell. Me! Stupid fucking me. I hate cold Tori, it's just not her. I never wanted to hurt her or make her like that."

Barbie nodded." I believe you. Many abusers were abused themselves at one point. Your Beck for example, I'd bet his dad was probably pretty horrible to him. Not that it excuses his actions, but the cycle of violence must be broken. Also don't knock yourself too much about Tori, you need to remember this Ace Decade guy and your ex-friend Cat both burned her too, so you are not the only one to blame."

"I'm so messed up, I can barely think straight."

"Look Jade, I hate to say it but you don't have a monopoly on pain. Others who have been through worse, have come out alright and you can as well. Accept you need help, listen to Dr. Cortez, and let Tori help you. If you bury your feelings, try and ignore the pain, Tori will just keep trying to help until you both self-destruct. For now, just calm down, take a deep breath and start your journey, one step at a time. Am I making any sense here?"

"Yeah." Mumbled Jade.

"I know Dr. Cortez has given you some ideas and I'll give you one of my own. During your recovery you need to find something, to occupy your mind. Something to focus on. I had an uncle who when he was quitting drinking, needed something to focus on too. Oddly, he chose puzzles. When he'd get that itch to drink, he'd pull out a 2000 piece puzzle and work on it until he finished. By then the urge to drink had passed. It gave him, not only something to focus on but when he finished, a sense of achievement. Now you may think puzzles are stupid."

"They are!" Retorted Jade sharply.

"You don't have to pick puzzles, but find something to do, give yourself a project, a challenge. Something that will help you focus and will make you feel good when you're finished. It sounds kind of stupid, but as the saying goes, any old port in a storm."

Jade sat there for a moment mulling it all over. Finally she took a deep breath and said. "I think I understand. I need to pull myself together or I'll just pull down Tori with me."

"Yes. You can be happy, both be happy and together happy, but not like this."

"I'll do it, I'll do what needs to be done." It was something that Jade now truly meant, if not for her, but for Tori.

"That's good, but one warning. Tori's kind of very hurt right now, she's rather incased herself in that cold persona. I told you she won't kick you out, but she's not likely to be very nice to you, at least for a while. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Good, now that I've done my good deed for the day, I can spend the rest of it being downright devilish. Like the t-shirt says, I think I will steal some dude's girlfriend. I love bringing them over to the other team. Wouldn't be the first time…. I'll see myself out. You can do it Jade."

Feeling a sliver of hope, Jade nodded. "Thanks Barbie."

Once she had let herself out, Jade wondered where to start. Finally it came to her, the journal of how she felt, that Dr. Cortez told her to write. He explained that putting them onto paper will help put them in perspective.

Ignoring the fact that she still thought it was silly, Jade found a notebook, a pen, then started to write.

_A journal of my feelings thoughts and whatever else that comes to mind. By Jade West._

_Day 1….._

After writing a few sentence, Jade paused. "A project. Hmmmm….Something that suits me, not this current pathetic version of me, but the old me, when I was a force to be reckoned with, when my mere gaze struck terror in the hearts of anyone in my path.….what? "

Trying to get an idea, Jade looked around and spotted Tori's piano. It was then an idea began to take shape in Jade's head.

"That's it, that's what I can do."

Idea in mind, Jade sipped her coffee and returned to writing her journal.

**Thanks to Invader Johnny. **


	25. Thaw

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 25 – Thaw**

**Jade's POV.**

Journal of my haunted head, by Jade West.

Day 33

I always thought diaries were stupid and the people who wrote them, rather insipid. I imagined them writing down their boring lives, as if it could possibly matter to anyone. But here look at me, writing down my life and I've done it for 33 days straight. I suppose I owe my fellow diary/journal writers and apology now. I won't though, screw them.

I have one notable exception, that of Anne Frank. To her and her alone, I apologize for my unkind words. The rest of you, can fuck off. I actually just finished reading her book. In group, they always stress that you're not alone in your misery and pain. Others have suffered in various ways and you can learn from that.

I'd been reading these other books that were recommended by Dr. Cortez, on surviving sexual assault and violence and decided to switch gears a bit. I wanted to see how she, under her circumstances coped with the horror around her. She was a victim of a different sort, but suffered no less than I, actually she suffered much more than I can ever imagine. But unlike so many others of her time, she retained her humanity, that's the one thing they could never take away from her.

But I digress, I've been writing my various thoughts, feelings and fears that run amuck in my head on a daily basis. It's all part of my throwing myself headlong into my recovery effort. It's not easy doing so. It's so much easier to sit on the couch, drink, watch horror films to try and numb the pain and trauma away.

I can't do that. If I do, not only will I go down the tubes, but I'll pull Tori down with me. I should be doing this all for myself, but a lot of my motivation comes from Tori. I'm doing it for her. Maybe that's the wrong reason, but fuck reason.

In case you haven't been following along in the last 33 days, not to mention why are you reading my journal anyway, I've since joined group therapy, do this journal on a daily basis, and have been reading up on coping on how to cope with sexual abuse and assault. I've even got some money from my parents and joined a health club where I work out at least 3 times a week.

I've also fully thrown myself, into my self-imposed project. I consider it part of my therapy and use it to stay focused. I can't say I've had much luck with it yet. I won't bore you with details, but it involves sorting through tons and tons of useless, boring, electronic garbage. I spend no less than 2 hours a day working on it. It's a mission, probably a futile one, but a mission none the less.

I do it for her.

I'm not sure if any of this junk is actually helping me. One thing is for sure, I'm too fucking busy, to have time to be a basket case.

Barbie was right about Tori; that she would be not very nice to me. I made it through the last of summer, its September 2nd today, feeling like I was in an ice age.

Tori's been cold to me, down right icy in fact. She hasn't given up on me, she lets me say, still cooks and cleans, but she hasn't said one single word to me since our argument, that she absolutely doesn't have to. I even started to offer to help clean and make dinner, but my offers were quickly and coldly turned down.

I think she's afraid I'll just slip back, get angry again. I'm still messed up, I still have nightmares, I still can't think of being touched, but I'm determined not to go backwards, not one single step. She just doesn't trust me and I know she's afraid of me.

The more I think of it, the more painful that knowledge becomes. I miss the old Tori more than ever and it only spurs me on to throw myself into this. We were actually dating before it all went to hell, now I'm I can't say back to square one, I'm more like at square, negative 30.

Though in the last few days she's been paying a bit more attention to me, covertly that is. I'm not sure why.

I have to start over from scratch with Tori.

My parents are supportive; now. Back in high school, I'd come home with bruises sometimes. When then noticed, which wasn't very often, I'd always give them these flimsy, bullshit excuses. I walked into a door, I tripped on the sidewalk, etc… In fact I would use the same excuse more than once and did they ever see through that? No, they were too wrapped up in their own lives to bother to even try to see through my bullshit.

Tori bothered to, my parents didn't….screw my parents.

So the ice age continues and though it's not all my fault, I do bear a great deal of guilt…..

"Jade!"

Realizing that Tori was addressing me, which happened rarely, I looked up from my journal. She had gotten home from work a few minutes before, but had said nothing to me then.

"You talking to me." I should have imitated Robert De Niro from Taxi Driver, but sadly I thought of it too late.

Tori who was standing a few feet from the couch where I was sitting, furrowed her eyebrows. "Is anyone else here named Jade?"

After looking around in an exaggerated fashion I shrugged. "Guess not, but let's face it, I'm not your favorite person to talk with right now, so I really wasn't sure. It's bad to make assumptions."

Shaking her head quickly, Tori turned and headed back to the kitchen. "Nevermind!"

"Come on Tori, what did you want? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so rude." I shouldn't have, this is pretty much the most she's said to me in a month and here I go acting like a jerk.

Tori paused in the doorway of the kitchen, her back facing me. "It was a long day at work, I just got home, I'm tired and don't feel like cooking."

"Do you want me to cook? I'm sure I could whip something up."

Tori answered, but her words were spoken just a bit slower and more deliberately. "I would like to go out to eat. Would you like to come with me?"

I was so stunned by what she said; I needed to hear it again. "I'm sorry what did you just say?"

Tori spun around, looking just a bit frustrated. "Do you or do you not want to go and get a bite to eat with me."

I think she's made in an effort to break through her shell and I'm not helping any. As much as it would please me, I can't give any snarky replies.

"Sure. Do you have a preference?" I said, as I got up and grabbed my purse.

With her normal and very guarded expression Tori then grabbed her purse. "I would like Italian. We can eat at that little place down the street, if that's ok with you."

"That's fine."

Nothing more to be said, we left the apartment and emerged on the street just as it was getting dark.

We started on our way, walking about 2 feet apart and saying nothing.

About halfway to the restaurant, the silence was becoming deafening.

"Nice night. It's cool, but not too cold." I said in a rather bland fashion.

"Yes it is."

"With the really cold winter, I expected the summer to be really hot. But it wasn't, hardly a day above 90."

"I thought it be hot too."

We were talking, but it felt horribly awkward. It actually kind of felt like, a really horrible first date. One of those ones, where you're checking our phone halfway through the date to see what your friends are up too, all the while you're looking for a back door that you can sneak out of.

We arrived at the restaurant, which was decorated as about a 1000 other Italian resturants in the US were,' with pictures of Rome, The Leaning tower of Pisa, The Italian Alps and the like. All of this of course, was to the sounds of Dean Martin singing, "Ain't that a kick in the head."

Soon we were seated and sitting across from each other in a booth. I looked calm but my head was swimming with guilt and a very unfamiliar fear of saying the wrong thing. She of course looked as cool as a cucumber.

Again the awkward silence returned and actually seemed to grow more oppressing by the second.

"How's Trina." I blurted out, needing to say something. That's how desperate I was to break this, asking about the most annoying person in the damn world.

"Still working at the hair salon, convinced she'll be discovered off the street."

"Like Lana Turner?"

"Pretty much. I liked Lana Turner in The Bad and the Beautiful."

I hated this conversation, it was a bland nothing conversation taking place to merely cover the fact that both of us were simply to chicken to say what was on our minds.

So I gathered all my courage, looked Tori in the eye's and said.

"Why am I here?"

Tori looked at me funny for a moment. "What do you mean, we're getting something to eat?"

"No, why am I here with you. You could have easily called Barbie. Look…before you answer that. Just let me talk. I screwed up and I screwed up badly. I blinded myself to the fact, that I had essentially betrayed myself and everything I stood for. But more importantly I hurt you, I scared you and I almost…"

No longer able to look her in the eyes I lowered my head in shame. "I'm sorry Tori. You were better to me that I deserved and I paid you back with grief."

That said, I just looked down at my placemat, which doubled as a map of Italy. I had no idea, if she'd respond at all or just leave.

After what felt like an eternity, I could hear Tori softly say. "I can see you've been really trying. I accept your apology Jade but to be honest, I still don't fully trust you."

I was still feeling quite horrible and found myself not able to look back up at Tori. Instead I found myself visually tracing the outline if Italy, on my placement.

"You're still scared of me as well."

"I'm not."

"You don't have to spare my feelings Tori. I know you still are. I can't blame you for still being scared or not trusting me. Now that I think of it I can't even blame you for giving up 3 years ago. You were angry and hurt. I deserved to be abandoned, for my own stupidity." I sadly lamented, as a wave of despair seemed to overwhelm me.

"Jade, look at me."

Still I couldn't get myself to look up and with my finger, traced the outline of Sicily.

"Please Jade, just look at me."

Slowly I managed to lift my head and look at her.

"Jade, don't say that. Please. I think we both need to stop torturing ourselves over it. To answer your original question, I just wanted to know how your therapy and efforts were going. It's extremely hard for me to show it right now, but I do care. It's taking pretty much all I have to even speak to you about it. I'm so used to retreating into my cold persona, its second nature. But as I said, I do care and I never stopped. You've been trying so hard, don't think I haven't noticed. I'm proud of you."

Hearing her praise I managed to smile faintly. My first smile in a very long time. "Thank you."

"You're welcome Jade. How is your group therapy going?"

"I've only gone 4 times, but it's interesting. They're all women like me, who have been battered abused by men and at least one case by a woman. This gal had a girlfriend with short temper and almost no self-control, it's a sad story. I listen to their stories and at the very least, it puts it into perspective. I've been working out, writing in my journal, reading, everything and anything that may help me put myself back together. "

Tori would have answered right away, but we were interrupted by the waiter who took our order. Finally making progress and I get interrupted, which quickly made my blood boil.

As soon as the waiter left, Tori looked at me with a worried expression. "What's wrong?"

"Look at me, I can barely control my emotions. We get one small interruption and my mood bounces from despair to anger in a heartbeat. You're right not to trust me." I cursed.

I then to calm myself down, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, exhaled and counted to 10. Dr. Cortez told me to do that.

After watching me for a second Tori paused as if she were choosing her words carefully. "You did get mad, but you right away, you used a relaxation technique and calmed yourself down. I'm sorry I had to say I don't fully trust you, but I had to be honest. But what I saw just now really shows me you're serious about getting better."

"I'm doing it for you Tori." I suddenly blurted, out without meaning too.

For a moment Tori paused, her lips partially open and for a moment a pained expression came to her face. "You should do it for yourself Jade."

"I owe you too much to not do this for you, besides….miss you….the old you…I liked our dates…." I then stopped speaking, as I was beginning ramble uncontrollably.

Tori smiled. "I'm flattered. I miss the old you as well and I liked our dates as well, but I think that's a conversation for another day. I'm sorry."

She was right and I had to admit it. "Don't be. I'm not ready and I know it. I just let my emotions get the best of me. Another day. But thank you for forcing yourself to be open. It's helped me get some of this stuff my chest and before I forget again. Thank you for everything you've done. I'll never be able to repay you."

"Just get better, be the old mean, snarky you and that's all the reward I want. Oh before I forget, you've been working on something else. I see you on your laptop, for 1 sometimes 2 or more hours each night. You're writing stuff down in a notebook. What's that?"

"It's self-imposed therapy at the suggestion of Barbie, a project I gave myself. At the moment, it's nothing and I really don't want to talk about it yet, as I may end up with nothing. No point in making a big deal out of it now. I will tell you when the time comes, I promise."

Tori nodded and after studying her I could tell she seemed to be wearing out, as if the efforts of breaking through her shell was taking a lot out of her. I felt a bit weary as well.

"I understand Jade, that's fine."

"I can tell you're tired, I'm too, we don't have to talk anymore. I know you'd like to retreat back into your shell for a while so to speak. We can just sit eat and maybe enjoy each other's company and some good Italian food."

Tori seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. "I'd like that. Thank you."

I nodded and we just stopped talking, and then ate our dinner in silence. I'd like to say all of that awkwardness between us was gone, but that simply wasn't the case. But it felt like a chunk of it had vanished, but a great deal of it still remained.

I described life with Tori as like living in an ice age, well it feels like the temperature just popped up a few degrees.

**Well, there's finally the beginning of a thaw between the two and Jade is throwing herself into her recovery effort. **

**I do hope you like this chapter.**


	26. 110 Percent

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from Scratch**

**Chapter 26 – 110 Percent.**

**Tori's POV.**

The corridor of the courthouse, looked a straight out of Law and Order. As I sit on the bench, watching Jade pace back and forth in front of me, I keep expecting to see Sam Waterston's, Jack McCoy come around the corner.

"Jade sit down, you're going to wear a grove in the floor if you keep pacing like that. Why don't you write in your journal?"

Other than a grunt, Jade ignored me and just kept pacing. I then looked down at her open journal next to me, which she had started to write, but stopped.

_Journal of Jade's Haunted head._

_Day 78_

_I hate fucking waiting…I hate it, I hate it , I hate it….almost as much as I hate him…._

That's where Jade stopped and started to pace, some 2 hours ago.

Jade stopped pacing momentarily. "How long has it been Tori?"

I glanced at my phone, "2 hours and 13 minutes. Exactly 6 minutes after you asked me the last time."

With a dissatisfied huff, Jade resumed pacing.

If you're wondering why Jade is pacing, it's because we are waiting for the verdict in Beck's trial. The jury has been out for 2 hours and 13 minutes.

A lot has happened since that evening where we went out to eat at that Italian restaurant some 45 days ago. After that dinner in which a lot was said, I retreated back into my shell and sort of stayed there. It was comfortable in my shell. Jade however, worked as diligently as ever on her recovery.

We talked a bit more than we did before, but not all that much.

A few weeks later, something happened.

**Flashback**

It the day of the start of Beck's trial and opening arguments were scheduled to be heard. Jade had gotten up before me and was out of the shower before I even got up. I knew that was up early because she was planning on attending the trial.

I had come out of the bedroom, dressed for work and was about to head to the kitchen to eat breakfast when I saw Jade.

She was sitting on the couch, dressed in a woman's business suit, staring straight ahead. She looked visibly scared.

I sensed something was wrong and walked over. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared. I'm scared to go. I have to face him. If I don't go, I'll move backwards. The D.A. said I don't have to attend if I really don't want to. But I have to go. I can't go backwards, ever." Said the Goth with a quivering voice.

It was then, that moment, watching a utterly terrified Jade gathering the courage to leave, that something hit me.

That Jade is giving every ounce of herself into making herself better and even more than that, confronting Beck when she didn't have too. I knew that before but seeing the anguish in her eyes, really hit home.

On the flip side, I also realized, that while Jade was giving 110% percent, I wasn't. I was barely helping myself let alone Jade. Sure I cooked, cleaned and let her stay, but that was nothing. Here Jade is going to court and did I even consider taking the day off to go with her as support. No, I didn't. Actually, it never occurred to me.

As I was standing there, half in shock from my realization, Jade got up and mumbled. "See you later."

Before I knew it she was gone.

I found myself unable to move, just thinking about how little support I've really given her. Oh sure, I got mad when she wasn't doing anything, but instead of really helping her, I just got pushy. In fact it was Barbie, who came the next morning, that picked up the pieces of my mess.

The more I thought of it, the more I realized, I've been a self-centered jerk. Look at Jade, she's been beaten and raped, more times than I care to think about and she's pulling herself together. Me, I've had some back luck sure, but I haven't been through anything nearly as bad, why am I the one that's now emotionally crippled.

It had been there the entire time, right in front of me and I never saw it. At least until I saw Jade on the couch, gathering up the courage to face her rapist.

Suddenly feeling weak in the knees, I sat down on the couch and just started to cry. I didn't make it to work that day, after crying my eyes out for almost half an hour as to how horrible I've been, I called in sick and hurried down to the courthouse.

She needed my support, perhaps I was going a bit to far the other way, but I was needed.

I finally arrived and caught Jade outside the courtroom. She was waiting for trial to start and hadn't entered yet. At this point, while I was no longer crying, I was still rather upset.

Seeing me coming up, a puzzled look appeared on her face. "Aren't you supposed to be at work? And why do you look like you've been crying."

"Jade I've been horrible. You've been through all this terrible stuff, much worse than I've ever been through and I'm the basket case and not you. I've been a terrible friend and emotionally distant when I didn't need too. You've put so much into your recovery, it literally shames me for what little I've done for me or you. All I've done is hide in my shell like a total coward. I just saw you sitting on the couch, all scared but determined to go and then it hit me. Who am I to be hide in this emotionless shell and hid…"

"Tori calm down. Calm down. You're rambling, but I think I know what you're saying. You don't have to apologize."

"Jade I…

Again Jade quickly cut me off. "No. Stop, there's been too many apologies already. We need to stop letting the past hold us back. I'm not going to blame or judge you. I'm hardly in any position to do so. But if it will make you feel better, I forgive you. But stop with the self-loathing. It's an emotional trap. They say that in group all the time."

Just having her forgive me, made me feel measurably better. "Can I join you? I know you're scared and I thought I could be there for you."

Jade nodded. "I'd like that, but let's fix your makeup first, we have about 20 minutes before they start. We both need to look confident and strong, having half ruined makeup will kind of make that a lot harder."

"Thank you Jade. I really want to help you any way I can."

"Let's help each other."

In nature it takes years and years for an Ice age to end. In our case, it ended rather abruptly. Jade took me in the bathroom, of course I took pains not to touch her. She's still afraid of being touched. There I fixed my make up and we went into the courtroom, where we sat in the back.

Beck was there in a rather dull looking grey suit and neatly cut hair. He didn't look at us, however. His lawyer was a rather obese middle aged man who looked like he was a prime candidate for a heart attack.

I was nervous and though she didn't show it, I knew Jade was. The judge entered and it was then did Beck look back at us. His expression was neutral, almost innocent. I guess he figured shooting us a harsh glare might affect the jury's opinion of him They happened to be sitting only a few feet away..

Letting my emotions take over, I just gave him a hateful glare. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jade. She was giving him a cold, emotionless stare.

After about 2 seconds of us starring at him, he nervously turned away. He didn't look back after that.

After that things changed dramatically. I had to work at it, but I took Jade's example and put 110% of my effort into getting out of my shell and helping Jade whenever possible.

We started to talk, cook together, watch TV together and quickly started to rebuild our friendship. Though we avoided any talk of dating as I think we both thought we weren't ready.

I even started to join her at the health club.

Through the experience of the trial, we've been doing some serious bonding and while Jade and I have a ways to go, much progress has been made.

The trial continued and Beck's attorney who, actually wasn't that bad, tried to convince the jury that everything was consensual and no actual rape occurred. While I couldn't attend every day of the trial, I kept in close contact with Jade, giving her encouragement.

Finally we had to testify, both of us were there that day. Jade went first and never have I been prouder. She went on the stand and calmly described how Beck had abused, raped and mistreated her for years, never once wavering in her testimony. That day she manged to stare down Beck again, who avoided looking at her. Jade even stood up to the defense attorney's arguments of it was all just a bizzare sex game and shut him down.

I went up right after that and from the back Jade silently mouthed. "You can do it."

Like Jade, is stood up and told my story and like Jade, didn't let the defense attorney throw me off.

The best part was watching the jury's disgusted faces when they heard the playback of the tape I made. His attorney tried to argue that it wasn't what it seemed, but appeared not to have much luck.

**End flashback.**

Now the trial is over and just a few hours ago, the case went to the jury. Even though things went well at the trial Jade is extremely nervous. I can't blame her.

I'm jarred out of my thoughts by one of the prosecutors who's just popped his head out of the door.

"Ladies' the jury has a verdict."

Jade looked at me and nervously bit her lip. "They only deliberated just over 2 hours, is that good, is that bad?"

"Jade calm down and let's go in an find out. I'm with you."

We entered the courtroom and sat down, Jade now was so nervous she could no longer hid it. She kept shifting in her seat and fidgeted with her hands.

"Try and calm down Jade", I whispered as we waited for the jury to reenter the court room.

Looking down at her hands, I wanted to hold them. Not out of any romantic aim, just to calm her down and let her know I was there for her.

It was then I noticed that Jade was starring down at my hands, with increasing, anxious expression.

"Jade?"

"Plea….pleas….pleas….ho…hold my hand. I ne….need to feel saf…safe…"

Jade was so nervous about letting me me touch her that she actually studdered when she asked me to hold her hand. How hard it must have been for her to do that. Again 110%

Every so slowly and carefully I took her hand into mine. She quickly tensed up as I did, so I held them as gently as I could.

"Thank you Tori." Said Jade, sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

"You're welcome Jade."

The jury entered and I did the best to read their faces, but I could determine nothing.

The judge then looked to the jury. "Have you reached a verdict?"

The Forman who looked to be a stuffy business executive type, nodded. "Yes your honor, we have."

"Than what is your verdict."

It was then that Jade squeezed my hand. I felt honored that she finally felt strong enough to let me hold her hand.

I squeezed her hand back and gave her a quick smile.

We then turned to the jury forman who read the verdict.

"We the jury find the defendant, Beckett Oliver, Guilty on all charges."

Hearing the world guilty, lifted what felt like a 20 pound weight off my shoulders. I had finally gotten him.

I looked to Jade who had started to cry.

Before I knew it, Jade spontaneously threw her arms around me. "I'm free Tori…I'm free…..Thank you…."

I think Jade had realized that she had gotten way out of her comfort zone, as she somewhat awkwardly let me go. Still tears of joy ran down her face.

"You did it Jade, you beat him….You took everything he threw at you and survived. he can never touch you again."

"Thank you Tori….Thank you. I know we've been through a lot, but you're the only one who cared. You're a true friend. Thank you."

Hearing that, I realized I could finally forgive myself for 3 years go. The rest of the weight on my shoulders, vanished in an instant and for the first time in years, I smiled a true smile.

**I moved things forward a bit, they are friends now but, still not up to the point of dating yet.**

**More story to come as Tori and jade grow closer. Don't forget, we still don't know what jade's project is and Barbie will show up again.**


	27. Just one more thing

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 27 – Just one more thing…**

Note: Two weeks have passed since the last chapter.

Tori, who was normally a light sleeper, woke to the sounds of Jade crying out in the other room. Looking at her clock as she hopped out of bed and threw on her robe, she could see it was 3:55 in the morning.

Tori hurried out of her room into the still dark living room just in time to hear Jade scream and suddenly sit up on the couch. She appeared to be very disorientated and upset and for a moment her arms flailed as if she was fighting off some imaginary attacker.

Tori quickly kneeled by the couch, making sure not to touch Jade. "Jade, Jade. It's ok, you're safe. It was only a bad dream Calm down."

Jade seemed to calm slightly down hearing Tori's soft voice, but it was obvious she was very disturbed by her nightmare.

"It's ok…..just relax, you're safe now."

The Goth continued to stare straight ahead, with a somewhat hollow expression.

"Just breathe Jade. You're ok."

After sitting there for a moment, Jade rubbed her face and fought back a tear. "It was a bad one."

"I'm sorry you had another nightmare Jade. Do you want me to hold your hand?"

"No, don't touch me please. Not now."

Jade then covered half her face with her open hand, this time letting a tear escape her eye. "How foolish I was to think I could ever actually be free of him. He was convicted 2 weeks and sentenced to life in prison 4 days ago and I'm still having nightmares about him."

"I'm there for you. I wasn't before, but I am now."

"Tori, stop that!" Retorted Jade quickly. "You did what you could. There's a saying. A dog can only bite the hand that feeds them so many times before their left to starve. I proverbially bit you more than enough times. Ok, you made mistakes, I'll admit that, but I'm way ahead of you in that department. So stop beating yourself up over it. Just sit with me for a moment."

"Ok" Replied Tori in a soft voice.

"I dreamed that cops grabbed me and locked me in his cell. He just kept raping me, over and over….."

"You're ok now."

Jade nodded but remained silent, as she sat there, collecting her thoughts.

"I'm just tired, when I'm tired, worn out or stressed, I have these dreams more often."

"Jade that the third one this week. I'm getting worried. I'm not sure what's going on but you've been going out the last few nights and staying out really late. Not to mention you've been spending 4-5 hours on the computer at a time for the last week. It's been wearing you out, not to mention you're been more short tempered than normal. When did you come home tonight? "

Jade ran her hands through her hair. "Just after 2 am."

"Jade, I know you said this had to do with your mysterious project, but I'm worried. Whatever it is, it's not worth it."

"I have to do this Tori. I just have one more thing to do, then I'm done. It will be worth it. I promise." Jade said wearily.

"You will tell me what this about, will you?"

"Yes. I will. I'm fine now. You can go back to bed, sorry for waking you."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine." Snapped Jade, impatiently.

Tori stood up, thinking about Jade's dog analogy. Perhaps she's right, mused Tori for a moment.

"Just let me know if you need anything."

Jade by then, had lain back down and covered herself with her blanket.

Tori knew that Jade's been obsessed with this mysterious project since the major blowout. She had described it as part of her therapy and something to focus her attention on. Lately it's been taking up more and more of Jade's time and at least to Tori, looks like it's been taking both a physical and emotional toll.

Going back to bed, Tori couldn't help be troubled by it. Could anything be worth all that grief, Tori wondered. But looking at her own struggle getting Jade free from Beck, she had to say, in some cases yes.

All through the next day Tori kept wondering about this project and by the end of it, she had decided to get some answers.

Arriving home from work, she found Jade sitting on the couch, watching some sort of zombie movie.

"Jade, I really want to know what's going on with this project. It's taking too much out of you. I must insist."

With a neutral expression, Jade turned off the TV and motioned to the couch. "Actually, I'm done. It's time to tell you what this is about."

Tori then sat down and said. "Ok then, what is this about?"

"Tori, it's about you."

Looking puzzled, Tori shook her head. "About me, how?"

"I know you feel you didn't do much for me, but you have, you've gone above and beyond and I've been wanting to pay you back, in some manner."

"Jade, just getting better is all you need to do."

"No, that's not good enough. Not nearly enough. I've done more."

Looking somewhat exasperated, Tori threw up her hands. "Then what did you do?"

"Ace Decade, the superstar music producer/manager/executive blackballed you for not only rejecting his advances, but for humiliating him at a party. He saw to it, that no one in the business would work with you, by telling everyone you were unstable and crazy. He threatened to retaliate against anyone who did work with you."

Tori closed her eyes briefly, while rubbing her forehead. "Jade, I'm painfully aware of that. I was there, remember. It's old news, nothing I can do anything about. What does this have to do with anything?"

Jade leaned in closer with a hint of a smile. "I got back at him for you."

Tilting her head, Tori said. "What?"

"I got back at him for you. I'm not sure how it will all play out, but I certainly knocked him down a peg or two."

Instead of looking happy, Tori frowned immediately. "Jade, he's rich and very powerful. Don't fuck with him. He'll destroy you too. I told you this is old news. I have no chance of a music career and I've resigned myself to that. I'm sorry, but you should have done this…whatever it was. Just tell me what did you do?"

Jade grabbed a manila folder that was sitting on the coffee table, pulled out a photo and handed it to Tori.

"No, he shouldn't have fucked with you. He's earned my wrath. Look at this photo."

Tori glanced down to see a man of about 60 with greying hair and next to him was a much younger blonde woman of about 30. They were both in fancy dress and appeared to be at a party.

"I don't know these people, Jade. I'm still not following you."

"They man is Mark Strickson, he's 62 and the woman next to him is Tiffany Strickson, she's 31 and his wife. 2nd wife actually."

"So."

"So, Ace Decade, is having an affair with Tiffany."

Tori looked nonplussed. "Jade, everyone on the planet knows Ace cheats on his wife, including his wife. She used to be a model and is cheating on him, with her Italian bodyguard apparently, it's in the tabloids. Ace and Tiffany are supposedly having an affair, even if true, you have absolutely nothing, that anyone would care about."

Jade shook her head. "Yeah, he messes around a lot, but this one affair he doesn't want people to know about. Kind of like the saying, where's the best place to hide a tree? In a forest."

"Jade, I still don't follow, why doesn't he want people to know about him and Tiffany? Is Mark some politician or something?"

Jade smiled a wry smile. "NO. Mark is his best friend. Mark and Ace went to college together, the roomed together in the same fraternity; they've been best man at each other's weddings and have been the closest of friends for 40 plus years."

Tori studied the photo for another moment, with a more serious expression. "I guess that's bad."

"There's more." Jade said with a chuckle. "Mark is also an attorney; he's Ace's personal attorney and has been for years and years."

Tori looked at the photograph a third time and then to Jade. "You're telling me that Ace Decade is sleeping with the wife of his Attorney/best friend."

With a smile, Jade pointed to Tori. "Bingo. Who is the one person, besides me, you don't fuck with. Your attorney. Who else knows where all the bodies are buried."

Tori gasped. "How long have Mark and Tiffany been married?"

"7 Years, his first wife died in a plane crash a dozen years ago. He met Tiffany 8 years ago on an Alaskan Cruise. They fell in love and soon after got married. Huge age difference, but I suspect…actually know that Tiffany loves Mark's money. He's very well off. Mark adores Tiffany, he couldn't be more in love if he tried. Spoils her rotten."

"And yet, she's sleeping with Ace. How you possibly know this?"

"Social media?"

"Social media?"

"Yes, I set out to dig up something on him anything, I could knock him down a peg or two. So I started to follow the social media accounts of everyone even remotely associated with him. I made up several identities and followed their facebook, twitter, snapchat, Instagram accounts, everything. I followed everyone, even the hairdresser of the wife of his pool man for his house in long island. She's obsessed with Cat's by the way."

It was a fantastic tale and getting more by the moment and All Tori could do was listen.

"I spent hours each day sorting through the most inane, stupid and pointless crap you could imagine, baby pictures, cat pictures, people talking about where they ate, it was mind numbing. I did this for you."

Tori blinked twice in disbelief. "You did this all for me?"

"Yes. After weeks, I'd learned nothing, other than the fact that Ace is a total narcissist and most of his servants secretly hate him. Finally I hit pay dirt."

Jade then pulled out a second photo and handed it to Tori. Looking at it she could see it was a small statue of Napoleon, except he was holding a surfboard and dressed like a surfer, complete with loud Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses.

"Jade this is literally the ugliest thing I've ever seen."

"Yes horribly ugly, it's also 4,500 dollars by the way, created by a Dutch artist. One day I saw a picture of Ace that went along with an interview of him. That was sitting on his desk, rather prominently. I then remembered I had seen it before. In a picture taken 3 weeks previously and posted on Instagram, Tiffany was in an exclusive boutique while shopping in Monaco. She was vacationing there solo. The boutique is very exclusive and is called, One of a kind. They ONLY sell one of a kind items, originals by artists. Tiffany had taken a picture of a vase that she said she was going to buy. That ugly thing happened to be sitting next to it and was in the shot. I called the store and confirmed that that piece was the only one made by the artist and both the vase and the statue had been very recently sold. I pretended to be interested in both of them. Are you following me."

"Yes."

"A week after the photo of Ace in his office with that thing on his desk, Ace, his wife along with Mark and Tiffany met at a charity function. In a brief Instagram clip, it shows Ace and Tiffany meeting at the function and actually saying how it's been 3 months since they had seen or spoken to each other. If that's true, then how did that statue get from the shop to Ace's office?"

"Perhaps someone else bought it for him."

Jade shook her head. "No. I follow everyone connected to him on social media. Tiffany was the only person connected to him that was anywhere near Monaco since I started this. Tiffany was the only one who could have given it to him. Yet, when they met at the function, they acted as if they hadn't seen each or spoken to each other in months. They had lied and there is another thing."

"What?"

"Say you enter someone's office and it is very tastefully decorated, save for an ugly misshapen ashtray on their desk. Who would you think gave it to them?"

"Their kid, probably made it in art class or something."

"Yes, Their kid or someone important to them. Ace has no kids. Why would Ace put that ugly piece of crap in a positon of prominence, unless the person who gave it to them was very important to him."

Tori was astounded. "I should just calling you Colombo."

With a laugh Jade, did her best Colombo impression."Just one more thing….."

Then after a brief pause, Jade began speaking again. "When I realized they had lied about meeting, I focused on them like a laser beam. They never said it outright but patterns started to emerge. When Mark would go out of town, for the next few nights, both Ace's and Tiffany's social media accounts would not be updated for hours at a time, and it was always the same amount of time in with each person. Certain vague things they would say sometimes. There's more but I won't bore you. In the end I knew they were having an affair. All I needed was proof."

"You have proof?"

"I got some money from my parents, bought a camera and rented a car. I had learned where Tiffany and Mark live. Mark's been out of town on business the last few days, so I started to follow her at night. I had no success at first and for several nights I kept losing her. Last night I hit paydirt. I followed her car from Manhattan to a Red Roof Inn, in Haworth, New Jersey. That's a little ways out of Manhattan. Who was waiting for her; Ace Decade. I got some nice photos of them making out in the parking lot and going into the room. They were checked in under the name of Mr. and Mrs. Johnny Mercer. I had to bribe the desk clerk."

Tori laughed. "That's a music reference. Johnny Mercer was a famous songwriter. He wrote the lyrics for Moon River and tons of other songs."'

"I got pictures of them making out as the left the motel."

Jade then pulled out several photos of Ace and Tiffany, kissing from their cars to the motel room and then back again after a few hours.

Looking at them Tori's jaw dropped. "My god. That's why you've been so tired. Digging up dirt. What are you going to do?"

Jade smiled, "It's all done, I learned that Mark was due back from Denver this morning and would be in his office this afternoon. You can learn so much from social media. So I dressed up nice and walked into his office and….."

**Flashback.**

Jade walked through the oak paneled reception area for Mark's office and up to the desk of his secretary, Margaret. She was an older rather plump lady.

"May I help you, Miss?"

"I'd like to see Mark Strickson please?" Jade figured, it wouldn't hurt to ask first.

"I'm sorry, he's very busy, you can make an appointment, I have a 10 minute opening, in 2 months."

Seeing the door, to Marks office, Jade suddenly bolted towards the door.

"Hey, you come back here?" Yelled, the secretary.

Not stopping Jade burst in the door so see Mark at his desk. The lawyer, looked at Jade and quickly looked at her with daggers in his eyes.

"Who are you and why have you burst in my office?"

About half a second later, the secretary, burst in right behind Jade. "I'm Sorry, Mr. Strickson, she just burst in, I'll call the police."

Knowing she had mere seconds, Jade pulled out the folder with her evidence and held it out. "Mr. Strickson, your wife Tiffany is cheating on you and I have proof, right here."

Mark seemed to freeze for a moment, looking at the folder. "Margaret, that's ok, this woman can see me."

After giving Jade a dirty look, Margaret left, shutting the door behind her.

Mark then looked at his watch. "Ok, Miss, you have bought yourself exactly 15 seconds, before I call the police. Show me?"

"I'm Jade West and the pictures are quite clear. I got her car, them kissing and his car. I think you know him." Jade said proudly as she handed the very skeptical looking Mark, the pictures.

Jade stood there nervously, as Mark looked at each of the pictures, not once, not twice, not three times, but four times. Each time he looked through them, his face became just a bit paler.

By the time he put them down on his desk, Mark Strickson, looked as if he'd aged 10 years. "Ace…he's my best friend….my fraternity brother….my best man….I….I…..he and Tiffany…they betrayed me…."

"It's true, you can have the photos analyzed, they have not been altered or changed in any way shape or form."

Looking devastated, Mark looked to Jade. "Are you a detective. Why?"

Jade looked directly at Mark. "Victoria Vega, that's why?"

A look of recognition came to his eyes. "Restraining order. She didn't even do anything."

"Not to mention, Ace blackballed her." Spat out Jade fiercely."

"And you wanted to destroy him? I take."

"That would be nice, but I'll take what I can get."

Looking very shaken Mark glanced once again at the photos. "I believe you. I just do. Well Miss West, You've done a thorough Job. You've done all that you need to, your work is done. I'll take care of the rest."

Mark just went back to starring at the photos as if Jade was no longer there. Not sure what his words meant, Jade turned around and left.

**End flashback.**

Tori now looked shocked. "Oh my god. Jade, you didn't need to do any of that. You didn't."

"No Tori, I owe you. I'll never be able to pay you. I don't know what will happen, but I did this for you. You don't have to thank me. I did it for you."

Tori was shocked to be honest at Jade's massive effort to avenge her. Getting back at him, seemed like a distant fantasy, now Jade through sheer will power and determination made it happen. It was so much Tori, barely knew what to say.

All they could do now was, wait.

They resumed their normal lives and waited. Her project done, Jade had more time and feeling up to it, returned to work at the hospital part time; 20 hours a week.

Each day Jade would check the news to see if anything happened with Ace and every day nothing. A week later, Jade saw him on TV, smiling at a European music award show. He got a lifetime achievement award.

"I've been scammed, that bastard Mark, let Ace slide. Fuck…Fuck…Fuck!" Screamed Jade.

Tori who was in the kitchen, came over to try and calm Jade down. "Jade relax. You've moved mountains for me. I'm proud of you and all that matters."

Calming down quickly, Jade whined. "I wanted you to get your career back. Or at least avenge you."

"Thank you anyway Jade." Tori said, with a hint of sadness in her voice.

2 days later, Jade was at work at the hospital and happened to be passing one of the lounges, when she saw Ace Decade's face on TV.

Curious, Jade stopped and walked over to the TV. Watching she realized it was a news report.

Seconds later, Tori, who was at work, got a text from Jade.

"Tori, turn on the channel 5 news, RIGHT NOW!"

Sense its urgency, Tori ran to an empty conference room, turned on the TV that happened to be in there to channel 5.

"…The indictment which was unsealed today, alleges that Superstar, Music Mogul Ace Decade, has been siphoning off Royalties and profits from various musicians he's been managing for years. It also alleges, that he's been stealing profits from his Record Label, Ace Records. According to sources, this indictment came about, when his lawyer and best friend, Mark Strickson, came to federal officials and turned state's evidence, in exchange for a lighter sentence.. In addition to the indictment, federal agents executed search warrants for his house in L.A, his Manhattan penthouse apartment, his offices at Ace records and his Long Island estate earlier today. Though a number of boxes of evidence were removed from all locations, Federal officials were tight lipped as to what exactly they were searching for. Our affiliate in Los Angeles approached rapper D-Gold of the mega popular, rap group, The 8th Street Boyz, who are one of Ace's biggest clients, for comment."

The reporter went up to the very fierce looking D-gold outside a L.A. restaurant. "D-Gold, would you care to comment on the allegations that Ace Decade has been stealing the Royalties from your group and many other musicians for years."

D-Gold grabbed the microphone and with his face twisting in anger ranted. "I'm going to kill that…."

It was at point the feed cut away to the newsroom anchor. "Sorry, but we're not able to play the rest of his comments, but none the less, D-Gold appeared to be quite upset. Now onto sports…."

Her eyes like saucers, Tori's Jaw fell open.

When she recovered the ability to talk, all Tori could say was.

"OH MY GOD!"

**Yes, Mark is Ace's attorney and there is attorney/client privilege but in cases where the attorney knows the law is being broken, that does not apply. The fact that he is taking a lighter sentence indicates he was part of the criminal scheme anyways.**

**Haworth, New Jersey is a real place and the birthplace of Elizabeth Gillies.**

**Columbo was a Detective series, starring Peter Falk that ran off and on from the 70's to the 90's. "Just one more thing…" That was one of his trademark sayings.**

**Johnny Mercer is real and was a lyricist for many famous songs including Moon River and Satin Doll.**


	28. Downfall

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from Scratch**

**Chapter 28 – Downfall**

**Tori's POV**

**A bit of a long one today, but some good drama coming up.**

I couldn't believe what I had just seen on TV. Ace Decade, the man who singlehandedly crushed my hopes of being a pop star, was now under indictment.

When Jade told me of her rather obsessive quest to get back at him, I initially thought that she was trying to do the impossible. That it was a waste of time and possibly a dangerous one. But I think I had forgotten how dangerous she once was. Though I did find her obsessive nature of it to be a bit disturbing.

She had laid out the details of what she found and how she found it. I had to admit she had certainly dug up dirt on the man. She even gave the evidence to Mark Strickson, who obviously got back at Ace by turning himself into authorities and revealing Ace's crimes.

I felt a bit faint as the sheer enormity of it all sunk in, so I sat down in one of the plush leather chairs in the empty conference room I happened to be in.

My god, Jade didn't just knock him down a few pegs, she knocked him down to the bottom one.

It took me about 5 minutes to recover my senses and quickly returned to the mailroom. I was in a daze the rest of the work day, which fortunately was less than an hour.

I hadn't texted Jade back from earlier, but I knew I would see her as soon as I got home.

Upon walking in the apartment I saw something I hadn't seen in a long time. It was a grin on Jade's face.

"So did I do good Vega?"

"Jade he was indicted and that D-Gold, the rapper, he was pissed." I said with an astonished look.

"You need to remember some of the biggest names in the music industry, were people he managed. I'll be most of them are pissed. He's in serious shit. I did it for you."

I then started to choke up with emotion. He had ruined me and now Jade had ruined him, for me no less. "I…I..don't know what to say."

Jade shrugged. "How about Fuck him, let's make dinner, I'm hungry." Jade said as she turned and walked into the kitchen.

After changing, cleaning up and recomposing myself, I joined Jade who was already starting to make the salad for tonight's dinner.

During the making of dinner, we chatted about Jade's therapy and how she was coming along. In retrospect, I should have changed the subject. In our talk, Jade admitted, one of the hardest things to wrestle with, was simply the fact she had been so completely fooled and essentially conditioned to accept him.

"I thought I was so strong, so independent and loving him simply required certain sacrifices. I truly believed he loved me and that deep down he was a good person. I actually though that. I was nothing more than a marionette dancing on stage."

I paused and turned to her. "But you cut your strings."

"No I didn't." Bellowed Jade as she unexpectedly exploded. "I had run into that casting agent and afterward having Dr. Cortez explain it all to me and even then I didn't want to believe I had been a brainless fool. Part of me still clung on to the image of Beck still being a loving person. Tori I had to be beaten and savagely raped for nearly 3 hours for me to get it through my thick skull he….."

Then as soon as it appeared Jade's rage vanished, as Jade abruptly broke down in tears.

"He….was a monster…"

I know Jade was still very weary of being touched, but her suddenly breaking down into a mass of tears, made me do the only thing I could think of to comfort her.

I slowly put my arms around her. As I tightened my grip, she bristled slightly and then just buried her head in my shoulder and cried.

"He raped me Tori…he said I was a dirty slut….that I was his slut….that I would always be his slut….."

I held her just a bit tighter and began to rub her back as she continued to cry.

"You're none of those things. You're special and beautiful…you're also human and humans make mistakes…."

"Thank you." Whimpered Jade.

Jade had come a long way and some days acted much like her old self, but her pain was just below the surface and ran very deep.

I let her cry for a few more minutes before I think she started to become uncomfortable in my arms. I then released her as she wiped the last of her tears.

"I'm sorry for that outburst, Tori. I need to be…."

"Don't be sorry Jade. You can't bottle this stuff up and pretend it never happened. If you do, it will eat you alive. Let it out, whenever you need to. Why don't you just relax on the couch and I'll finish dinner.

Jade, still very upset, nodded and silently left the kitchen.

I finished dinner and instead of eating at the table in the kitchen, I put out trays and ate our fish and salad on the couch in front of the TV. By then Jade had calmed down and pieced herself back together.

Our TV show tastes are quite different, but having recently gotten Netflix, we started to watch Orange is the new Black. It was a show we both could enjoy and I couldn't help but seeing certain parallels between Piper and Alex and Jade and I.

During a scene where a prison's area is being searched, a thought came to me. "So Jade, what do you think the feds were looking for when they searched his house's and offices?"

"I dunno, probably financial records. But who knows. Ace was a bit like Beck, just a nasty person wearing the mask of a nice guy."

When the episode ended, we decided to flip channels and in doing so, came across a news station covering the Ace Decade story.

It showed a clip of Ace's brand new and very high priced attorney, saying how this whole case was utter nonsense and each and every one of his artist's received every penny they earned. The lawyer even held up some notes form some of his musical artists which still supported him.

"He may beat this Jade." I said, feeling my spirits drop. "Then he'll see to it that neither of us works again. You may be stuck cleaning hospital rooms for a very long time and I may be stuck working in a strip joint for the next 20 years."

Jade shook her head. "No, from what I know about him, I'm certain there is another shoe and I will drop very soon."

Two days later we had both come home from work and were in the process of making dinner, with the TV news on in the other room.

I had suddenly heard Ace's name mentioned and with a nudge, me and Jade walked to see the TV.

On TV we could see a picture of Ace as the news anchor read the story. "Today new and startling development in the ever growing Ace Decade music scandal. Up to now, he had only been accused of stealing money from his musical clients, many of which remained steadfastly on his side. However in a late afternoon press conference, country/pop music, superstar Tracy Gift, her lawyer and husband at her side, formally accused Ace Decade of extortation and sexual explotiation."

We both knew who Tracy Gift was. Some 22 years ago, when she was 16, she came out of nowhere and had her very first album go multiplatinum . Now two decades later she was one of the biggest pop stars in the words and probably Ace's biggest client.

The news flipped to the press conference where Tracy told a very familiar story.

"Everyone knows that Ace discovered me and made me the pop superstar I am today. However what you don't know is that after he discovered me, a young naïve girl of 16 from a broken home who loved to sing, he told me straight out that I would have to sleep with him in order to have a music career. He also said that if I said no, he'd make sure I would never have one. I am ashamed to admit it, but I did as he asked. As I said, I was young, naïve and scared. I soon found out that he had videotaped our sex session and took secret photos of me changing in and out of my clothes. He's been holding that over my head. That is why I have remained one of his clients, as I didn't want certain pictures of me to leak out as he had threatened to do just that if I didn't do his bidding. I have been informed by the Fed's that those pictures and videotapes are now safe in their hands and will never see the light of day. I'm telling you this as I want the air to be clear and announcing my immediate termination of any dealings with Ace Decade and his record company. I will also be filing a lawsuit….

I was too stunned to hear the rest as I just now realized how closely I had dodged a bullet. "Oh my god….If I had actually slept with him, he would have taped me….used that against me."

"You did the right thing Vega. I think the other shoe just dropped. We'll see what chance he has now. Lord knows what we'll learn next."

As soon as we arrived home from work the next night, we turned on the news to see if there were more developments in the Ace Decade scandal. We then found out that 4 other women, each a famous and popular musician in their own right, had come forward just that day. Each had a story nearly identical to the others, telling how Ace sexually exploited and ultimately blackmailed them.

The news report said, up to now a lot of his artists had continued to support him, but once Tracy and the others stepped forward, that support simply vanished. Now no could be found that would go on record to support him. In fact, with passing hour, the anger of the general public, against him seemed to rise, as evidenced by the fact that on twitter, the hastags, #damnyouace, #fuckyouace and #tohellwithyouace had all been trending on Twitter the entire day.

At this point the news anchor made a very good point. "One thing that hasn't been mentioned yet is that in addition to Tracy Gift, 2 of those other women were signed to Ace's record label before they were 18 years of age. If Ace Decade indeed was in possession of naked pictures or films he could be facing charges of possession of child pornography. In fact we've just learned moments ago that the grand jury has indeed indicted him additional charges of extortion, bribery and possession of child pornography. "

At first I thought he'd beat it but now, his future looked dim indeed. I simply couldn't believe it.

Jade pumped a fist in the air. "Come on Vega, he's going down, let's celebrate with Pizza and beer. The pizza at Marty's bar is pretty good. Why don't you call Barbie and invite her along. More the merrier."

I felt awkward about celebrating this, but on the other hand he had ruined me, so I called Barbie and we went out.

Some two hours later, all three of us were sitting in a loud sports bar, eating great bar pizza and working on our 2nd pitcher of beer. Jade was in a good mood and explaining to Barbie, just how she had brought down Ace.

"All this because of one stupid statue of Napoleon, dressed as a surfer."

Jade took a drink of her beer. "Yeah and get this, that Mark Strickson guy called me today?"

"What? You didn't tell me that?" That came as bit of surprise.

"He wanted to thank me. He said he'll lose his law license and go to minimum security prison for a few years but he told me now he's free. He said that Ace could always talk him into things and how slowly Ace got him to do things that just didn't sit right. Before he knew it he was in too deep. His wife was his only real pleasure in his life and once he realized that Ace had slept with her, he decided to take Ace down. When Mark gets out, he can start over."

"That's good. A new start is a great thing."

We just kept talking and having a good time, so much so, we scarcely paid attention to the news that came on after the baseball game. However when we Saw Ace's picture on the screen, we quickly paid attention.

"We have a late breaking news story, Ace Decade, the super star music mogul, the once called Mr. Music, who's been involved in a ever-growing scandal is dead at the age of 62 of an apparent suicide. We now go to or reporter on the scene."

The camera then went to a news reporter in front of the building I recognized as the building where Ace had his penthouse apartment.

"According to witnesses, a man who looked very disheveled, dressed only in a bathrobe, jumped from the balcony of Ace Decade's 53 story penthouse just over an hour ago. The body itself, landed on a passing garbage truck with no injuries on the ground. Though the body has not been formally identified, numerous witnesses on a nearby balcony recognized the jumper as indeed Ace Decade."

Jade at this point leaped of her stood and did a happy dance in the middle of the bar. "BURN IN HELL ASSHOLE. NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY TORI AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"

I had been surprised and shocked several times in the last few days, but knowing the man who had destroyed my career had suddenly taken a header off of a 53 story balcony was overwhelming. I remember him showing me his penthouse and saying how much he loved the view from that very balcony.

I sat there mouth hanging open as Barbie joined Jade in her little dance, followed by them very quickly polishing off the pitcher of beer, and promptly ordering another one.

"My god, I feel great." Jade said with pride. "You know how good it feels that I drove a man to killing himself. It's like about a thousand of hours of therapy wrapped into one beautiful moment."

Barbie shook her head. "You're really not supposed to be happy about that, but in this case, I'll make an exception. He was a fucking bastard."

"He's dead!" Was all I could think and say. My troubles were gone, but I couldn't muster up the desire to actually celebrate his death. The victory felt, strangely hollow.

Jade looked over at me and smiled. "He's more than dead, Tori you have your career back. You can be a pop star again. I know you've been playing and writing music, but look at it. This man trashed you, but less than two hours ago, he died in utter disgrace. Anything he said about you, even if anyone remembers it, won't mean squat."

I hadn't even thought of that, I had only thought of it in terms of simple revenge. My dream of being a pop star which had been so utterly crushed, was back again. While his death brought me little joy, I was so happy about getting my dream back, I threw my arms around Jade and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you Jade. Thank you."

She looked at me with shock for a moment before smiling.

"Oh my god!" Barbie said suddenly out loud. "It's just like King of Hollywood."

Both of us shot Barbie Puzzled look.

"It's a song off the Eagles, Long Run album. It's about a some powerful Hollywood type who exploits the young actresses that come to him for parts. My dad's a huge Eagles fan."

Jade suddenly light up and tore off towards the Juke box. "You're right, I had forgotten that song, let's see if the juke box has it."

Moments later the first chords of the Eagles 1980 song, King of Hollywood started to play. It's a slow moving and rather dark natured song, with great guitar work by Joe Walsh and Don Felder.

_Well, he sits up there on his leatherette  
Looks through pictures of the ones that he hasn't had yet  
When he thinks he wants a closer look,  
he gets out his little black telephone book_

Jade and Barbie sang along while I simply listened to the song, which was so utterly close to the truth it gave me chills. I felt torn, happy about my dream on one hand, on the other I felt no joy by his passing. I don't even know why, he was a horrible person.

_Now look at me and tell me, darlin',  
how badly do you want this part?  
Are you willing to sacrifice?  
And are you willing to be real nice?_

But even the mythical King of Hollywood is laid bare, as evidenced by the last few lines of final verse.

_He's just another power junky.  
Just another silk scarf monkey.  
You'd know it if you saw his stuff.  
The man just isn't big enough._

After that Barbie and I started to talk about my suddenly revived music career when I noticed Jade deep in thought.

"You look deep in thought Jade. What?"

"I just thought of my next project, part of my therapy."

"What's that?" Asked Barbie.

"My ex friend Cat-fell under the spell of some Christian cult leader. I'm going to get the old cat back and destroy that asshole."

I suddenly got a very bad feeling about that. "Uhh…Jade..I don't know…."

Barbie chimed in. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well, first we grab Cat, get her deprogrammed and then wipe out reverend Mike, or Bill or Bob or whatever his fucking name is. He's dead.

I was very unsure about Jade's plan. I missed Cat terribly but this was a cult and potentially very dangerous.

Barbie however seemed to have no such reservations. "May I offer my services Jade."

"Sure, what services would those be?"

"Well when you first grab her, she'll be angry and will probably spout a whole boatload of bible verses at you. I think I can help in that department. Wear her down a bit."

"How?"

Barbie then dropped into her native Alabama accent. "I'm from the Bible belt; I'm the granddaughter of a preacher. I went to Church growing up every single Sunday, save one and that's only because I had scarlet fever. I attended Sunday school without fail, bible study, Christian youth group and was a counsellor at Bible camp. It was drilled into me so much, that at the church picnic each year, they have this competition on who know the scriptures best, and from the age of 12 -17 I was the reigning champion. For every bible verse she tosses at me, I can chuck 3 back. She won't stand a chance."

Jade looked surprised, to say the least. "Ok, you certainly had a very Christian upbringing."

"And yet, I turned out to be a kind wonderful, loving person in spite of all that." Barbie said with a great deal of sarcasm in her voice.

"You don't believe in god?" I questioned.

"I do, just not sure he believes in me. Like my family, we're not really on speaking terms at the moment. But Jade, I'd be glad to help." Barbie added with a bit of sadness in her voice this time, as she let her accent fade.

I could see that Jade as happy and excited and I felt the same way. However, starting to have some serious reservations about Jade's new project.

I held my tongue as we finished our pitcher and parted ways. It was only when we got home did I bring up my concerns. I was a bit tipsy, but Jade was near drunk and for that reason I should have held off the talk, but I really wanted to get it off my chest and I did anyway.

"Jade, this plan I'm not sure about it."

Jade sat down on the couch, not looking concerned, if not just a bit insulted. "Why, you should be happy, you'll get Cat back and your life will be fixed."

I spoke again, a bit more sternly. "No Jade, this is a cult and cults can be dangerous; remember Jonestown or the Branch Davidians. This is more than just digging up gossip on a record executive. You're talking about kidnapping Cat and getting her away from some people who could be very dangerous. You don't have to do this."

Jade, presumably fueled by the vast amount of beer she drank, seemed to quickly grow incensed. "YES I DO!"

The more I thought of it, the more worried I became so I decided to not back down. "It's dangerous Jade."

"NO VEGA! I'M dangerous, I destroyed him, I can destroy anyone!"

"Jade all you did was present the evidence to the person who did actually destroy him. While I deeply appreciate what you've done, let's not get ahead of ourselves. You don't need to do this, Jade please? "

At this point, with voices raised, our talk had quickly shifted gears into an argument. I should have waited until morning, when Jade was sober, having the talk now, was a horrible mistake.

"NO, I need to do this, I need to fix you. I need to make you better, I need to pay you back and the only way I can do that is fix you, make things right!"

Her saying she needed to fix me, struck a chord for me, causing me to shout back. "It's not you to decide if I need fixing. Just like it wasn't Becks place to fix you, by fucking with your head or have you forgotten."

Jade quickly stepped forward and for a moment I saw her hand clench tightly into a fist. "FUCK YOU VEGA! I WILL FIX THIS! I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU!"

"I didn't' ask you to it, beside what is there to fix. Cat's gone and I don't want to risk losing you over something so stupid!"

"Cat's not stupid!" Roared Jade.

"I never said that, I'm only saying that you're going off halfcocked, this last project I saw how obsessed you were with it, to the point it started to affect you personally. You became stressed, tired, more irritable and your nightmares increased in frequency. Jade, You've done something wonderful for me and to be frank, you're my best friend, I can't lose you again!" I realized as I said it, I let a lot more emotion creep into my voice than I intended, another mistake, I need to keep clam. all I'm doing is fueling Jade drunken anger.

This time Jade exploded, as she turned purple with rage. Every instinct of mine told me to retreat into my bedroom; instead I stood my ground and let her speak.

"Tori I have to fix this , I have to fix us, we should be together now, we could have been together some 3 years now, but were not and it's my fault...besides I'm so messed up inside, I'm not sure if I can be fixed, but I can fix you….JUST LET ME FIX US!"

She wasn't sober and was only making partial sense, but I think I knew what she meant. I think she felt unless I was "fixed" I wouldn't or couldn't love her. I think she's also impatient and desperate to make things go back to where they were before she started with Beck. I then took a deep breath before responding and when I did, I did in a soft. soothing voice. "Jade, just give it time, we will find a way."

For a moment she seemed to relax, but only for a moment.

"NO, WE WILL HAVE THE OLD CAT BACK! I WILL FIX THIS! I am going to do this for you." Bellowed Jade as she stormed out of the apartment.

I knew she wasn't going to do anything tonight and just needs to blow off some steam. But what do I do when Jade really goes to rescue Cat. As I said, I miss Cat but I don't want to lose Jade.

What do I do?

**While Ace Decade is gone and Tori's career chances restored, all should be well. However Tori is just realizing how obsessed Jade is with Fixing things, fixing Tori or between them. Naturally it is causing problems between them.**

**Lyrics for the song, King of Hollywood, by The Eagles were used without permission. The song and the album it's from is quite good, I highly recommend you buy it. The song pictures how I see Ace Decade, personally. In reality I have no idea who the Eagles had in mind when they wrote it, if anyone.**


	29. Cruel to be kind

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 29 – Cruel to be kind**

**No One's POV**

After storming out of the apartment, Jade took a walk; ranting drunkenly to herself as she went. It was only when she started to sober up, did she feel bad about yelling at Tori, but her inner drive to fix Tori was unyielding.

By the time she had returned home, Tori had already gone to bed, so Jade did the same. Falling asleep, she felt feeling pretty cruddy about the whole thing.

Sometime later she felt herself being nudged.

"Wake up!"

Opening her eyes she could see it was morning and Tori was sitting on the coffee table next to the couch. It was Friday so Tori was dressed for work at the bank. Jade however didn't have to work and her first hung-over thought was, why is she waking me?

"Jade." Tori said clearing her throat. "I want you to listen and not say a word; I do not want to be interrupted. Nod if you understand."

Jade reluctantly shook her pounding head.

"Good, for starters I want to apologize for having our discussion when we'd both been drinking, it was a terrible decision to speak of it then and only made things worse. I am sorry."

Jade nodded again in acknowledgement.

"OK, I've been thinking. You want to help Cat, as you see it helping me. I also know you're hell bent on doing this. You're frustrated, still somewhat traumatized and impatient. You also feel a uncontrollable urge to fix me. Perhaps you think I need to be fixed in order for us to proceed. I do not agree. I want to proceed and I know you do as well. I think both of us can be very happy together, I really do. The problem is, I think that, I don't know that. I'm being honest here, even the best of relationships go south sometimes. So a part of any relationship is compromise and sometimes doing things to please the other, even something you may not like. Are you following?"

"Yes."

Tori frowned. "I said no talking! Nod."

"So, to help you deal with your urge and to get my friend back, I will help you liberate Cat. But I will be in charge and we will do it under my conditions and rules. You look like you have a question. Speak?"

"What if I don't follow the conditions?"

Looking deadly serious Tori quipped. "I don't want to lose another friend, what we're doing is possibly quite illegal. It is something my father would not be pleased to hear about, one bit. All I need to do is make one phone call to my dad, where I let him know you're about to do something rash and 10 minutes later, the Boston Police will know to be expecting you. Am I being clear?"

Jade snarled. "You wouldn't dare…..That's blackmail?"

"Yes I would. Blackmail is such an ugly word, I prefer describe it as protecting my investment. You obviously think I'm being unfair, tough cookies. But think of this an exercise in compromise and cooperation, for the betterment of us. That and you being a good little girl and not going off half-cocked will please me. You want to please me, don't you? Someday the shoe will be on the other foot, where I'm sure you'll delight in putting the thumbscrews to me, but for now, I have the power. Got it?" Tori said, looking a little like she was enjoying having Jade on the spot.

With a sudden look of defeat on her face, Jade nodded.

"Ok, I'm in charge of this operation. I even looked up the proper terminology." Tori remarked proudly.

"Jade, If at any point I see danger of harm or possible arrest, I will abort the mission; then we will go home and leave Cat be. But to start, today when you get up, you will call Cat's parents. I believe you've known them for a while. You will talk to them and get permission for us to take her from the cult. I was told by Andre that Cat has cut off communication with her parents, so I think they will go along. We will only proceed, with their blessing. Understand so far?"

Jade nodded, but utterly hated having Tori dictate the terms and essentially blackmailing her to follow along.

"If Cat's parents ok this, then you will call Dr. Cortez and get the name of a cult deprogrammer here in New York, someone dependable. We'll worry about paying for it later. You and Barbie can come up with the plan, but I reserve the right to modify or cancel the plan at any time. Remember, our primary objective is to get Cat away from the cult and deprogrammed. Our secondary objective will be to take down this cult leader. But that will only and only be if our primary objective is completed and only if I give the go ahead. I also don't want anyone harmed. Is all this clear?"

Jade narrowed her eyes into a narrow glare, but nodded none the less.

"Good, as I see it, we should grab Cat and bring her to New York to be deprogrammed. I want her away from Boston, that college and the cult group. After you get off the phone with Dr. Cortez, you get back on that computer and dig up all the intelligence on this group and its members. Then you and Barbie work out your plan of attack and submit it to me for approval. I see her tonight at The Playpen, so I'm sure I can get her to play along with me and my rules. Also in your next session with Dr. Cortez, you will discuss your urge to fix me. I'm, not going to apologize for being a bitch about this, as I'm doing it not only for your own good, but us as well. Any questions?'

"Asshole!" Hissed Jade.

Ignoring Jade's insult, Tori smiled, leaned over and kissed Jade on the cheek. "I'm glad you're fine with it, see you later."

Tori then grabbed her bag and left for work, before Jade could protest or insult her any further.

Tori actually felt bad about forcing Jade to do it her way, but it was for the best. The last thing Tori wanted to see was a news report about an attempted kidnapping Boston with Jade under arrest or worse. Tori also was motivated by her concern for Cat. Seeing her once friend turned into a hatful religious bigot, caused Tori a lot of pain. In a way what she was doing was somewhat cruel, but she had to be to make sure Jade would be OK.

"If I can't stop this from happening, then I can at least try and control it. The things I do." Muttered Tori, as walked down the street, towards the subway.

A few hours later at work, Tori got an email from Jade.

_Tori, _

_Spoke with Mr. &amp; Mrs. Valentine, they have been greatly concerned about Cat for some time and wish to have their daughter back. They have reluctantly, given their blessing to our plan. They only reservations they have are, that they do not want to see us get hurt. I informed them that at the first sign of trouble, everything would be called off. They have also volunteered to pay for the services of a deprogrammer and any other expenses we have. So we can proceed. I'm calling Dr. Cortez next to get a cult deprogrammer. Then I will call Barbie._

_Jade._

_P.S. I hate you. _

Tori responded moments later with a follow up email.

_Jade,_

_I'm sure you will come up with a sound plan that will minimize risk. Let me know when you're plan is ready. _

_Tori_

Later on that evening as Tori was arriving at The Playpen for her Friday night shift, she ran into Barbie.

"Hey Barbie, how's it going?"

The blonde flashed her perfect smile. "Great, I hear that Ace Decade's record company is now being sued by pretty much every client it ever had. It's a safe bet, the company is finished."

Tori shrugged and again the thought of Ace's death, gave her a bad feeling. "Oh well. Did Jade talk to you today?"

"And how. She's kind of steamed you forced her into playing by your rules. Nice play by the way."

"So you approve?" Tori said with a sigh of relief. She was worried what Barbie would say.

Barbie nodded. "Yeah, she's very determined, but not all that stable or prone to really thinking things out. We've got a few ideas already."

"So I did the right thing?"

Barbie put a hand on Tori's shoulder. "You really care for her and it shows. She's just a bit incensed right now, but she'll get over it. Come on, we got drinks to serve, let's get to work."

The next few days, Tori found Jade to be in a very unsociable and foul mood. Most of the time, Jade spent on the computer in the corner or on the phone with Barbie. She made little if any attempt to speak to Tori and the Latina gave her a lot of space.

Finally the following Thursday, when Tori arrived home, she found Jade impatiently waiting.

"Get changed, we're meeting Barbie at the local Thai place in 30 minutes." Jade said in a rather abrupt fashion.

"So you have a plan, for me to approve I take?"

"Just get going."

30 minutes later they were all sitting in a booth. Tori then looked to Barbie and Jade. "Ok then, Impress me."

It was Jade that started to speak. "The church is officially called the church of the light of God. Stupid name. It's website for the church is very old and pretty barren, giving only the address of the building and the hours of worship. In fact, I found little electronic imprint by any of its members. It seems that Reverend Mike has declared the internet to be the tool of evil and forbids the use of it."

"Helps keep them isolated from the community and their families." Noted Barbie.

Tori scratched her head. "Did you find anything?"

"Yes I did, I found a blog written by an ex-member, Jen Carlyle. She was in it for a while, until her boyfriend managed to get her out. I spoke to her a few days ago. Jen says the church has about 100 members and is run by Reverend Mike and is sort of wife, who calls herself Sister Alison. About half the members are college students, the rest adults from varying backgrounds. Jen says they lure people in by befriending them, getting to know them. Then ones they think are ready, are invited to their retreat for two weeks, all expenses paid. It's an old summer camp in New Hampshire. Jen says there, you're always with someone; they call it a bible buddy. That way you're never alone, you never have time to think, you're always under pressure to go along with them. , They allow no electronic devices, there is no phone and it's very isolated. That's on purpose. They have all kinds of activities, packed in one after another. They also make sure you get little sleep. Jen says they wear you down, physically and mentally. Then they hit you with the bible lessons and boy do they ever. Using dogma, fear and reward, they are essentially brainwashed. Jen said when she came out of the camp, she was so out of it, she didn't know which way was up. But it's all about Reverend Mike, who supposedly speaks directly to God. In fact the Reverend, says that sometimes god us using his own voice. They all believe it."

Tori silently cursed Reverend Mike for subjecting Cat to what amounts to brainwashing. "Ok, let's get to the plan."

"The student members are matched up with other church members and they are supposed to be with each other at all times. Jen says it's so they can protect each other from sinning. Cat lives with another church member named Annie, she's a freshman. Jen, the ex-member says, that life is very regimented and they have a very strict schedule. If a member misses or doesn't show up for something, the others quickly come looking for them. They can be very controlling, a lot like someone who's couch I'm sleeping on." Jade noted somewhat acidly.

"Great!" Tori said with a huff.

"We have that covered. Jen said the best time to get Cat is Sunday Evening. After Sunday morning services, the students have the afternoon to, relax and or study. They do have a bible study, they have to attend at 8:00 PM in the evening, it's mandatory. But before that, there is one of the very few optional events, they have. It's an open social at the church from 6-8 pm. If someone has more homework to finish they can skip the social and just go right to bible study at 8. Jen knew Cat and told us she and Annie always came together and nearly always arrived at the church, right at 6. Once and a while they could come later, but that was rare. We had thought of getting Cat directly from her apartment somehow, but some research revealed, the apartment building has 10 units and their all full of college students, too great of a chance to be seen. The park is more isolated. Do you follow?"

"Yes."

"Cat and Annie live less than a mile from the church and to get there, they have to go through a park. It's got some trees and cover from the pictures we've seen. Our plan, is when they head to the social and go through the park, to use some Bibble to lure Cat off the path. Brainwashed or not, she can't resist Bibble At the end of the trail of Bibble, she'll find me. Barbie will follow behind dressed like a student and will deal with Annie. We've got stun guns some other things to keep them out longer if needed."

"Ok, then what?"

"Barbie is going to get us an S-Mart furniture Delivery Van from a friend, who delivers from them. They have stores all over the east coast, so one of their vans will scarcely be noticed. We load Cat up in the van. You and I drive home and Barbie babysits Cat in the back. I've arranged it with the deprogrammer. She'll be waiting for us in a hotel in NYC."

"They will be missed Jade and the other church members, will then come looking for them."

"You're right, they will eventually be missed. But since the social is not mandatory, Cat and Annie will not be missed until at least 8:00, when the mandatory bible study begins. That will give us anywhere from 1-2 hours to put as much distance between us and Boston as possible. By the time they get their shit together, we'll be most of the way home."

"What about Annie? You can't just leave her in the park, nor can you allow her to sound the alarm."

"No, while you and Barbie take Cat to the Van, which will be parked nearby in the lot of an old food store, I'll take Annie back to her apartment. There, I'll give her something that will keep her asleep and place her safely in her bed. In case any church members show up, I forged a note in Cat's handwriting saying that Annie was sick and how Cat went to the pharmacy to get her some medicine. We're set for Sunday. So do you approve?" Jade said with a note of irritation in her voice.

"It sounds ok, but I still reserve the right to abort it, if it looks like anything will go wrong. Understand?"

Jade nodded, with a look that told Tori, she was still angry about blackmailed into doing it Tori's way.

Tori then looked to Barbie. "This isn't your fight; you don't have to do this?"

"Jade showed me her picture and in addition to being the cutest thing ever, I just couldn't stand the thought of that girl being used like that. I'm in."

Tori then looked to Cat and Jade. "Ok then, let's rescue Cat."

**So they are going to rescue Cat, but Tori blackmailed Jade into doing it her way. Tori wanted a plan that will minimize risk and be one she can call off at any time.**

**Jade, having no choice, went along with it, but is pretty steamed about it.**

**The chapter title comes from the 1979 Nick Lowe, song of the same name. **


	30. Fight the good fight

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 30 – Fight the Good Fight.**

**No One's POV.**

Over dinner they finalized plans for Cat's liberation, but Barbie was quick to note the increasing tension between Tori and Jade. Jade kept resenting being blackmailed into Tori's plan and eventually Tori started to resent Jade for resenting her. Outside of talking about details of the plan, the pair seemed to just avoid even looking at each other.

Not in the mood to play referee, Barbie let it go and hoped by Sunday, the day they planned to strike, the tension would have dissipated. Barbie did see Tori the next few nights at The Playpen, but the Latina seemed to want to discuss anything but Jade or the plan.

At 11 Am on Sunday morning, The S-Mart delivery van, driven by Barbie, pulled up in front of Tori's apartment building. She could see the Latina and The Goth, both dressed in plain jeans and t-shirts standing several feet away from each other on the sidewalk, each carrying a bag. Their body language told Barbie that they were only barely tolerant of each other's presence. She knew then, it was going to be a very long ride to Boston.

Barbie groaned. "I passed up Kate the stockbroker with the long red hair and the cute ass for this. Note to self, next time don't be a fucking idiot."

Though they each greeted Barbie pleasantly, Jade and Tori barely spoke to each other, giving each other the silent treatment. Barbie drove the van, Tori sat in the middle and Jade sat on the other side in the front of the van.

Sometimes the girl's would ignore each other, sometimes they'd just give the other, the evil eye. The only times they did talk, were arguments over where to eat and what to listen to on the radio. It was a horrible trip and with each passing mile, Barbie mentally cursed herself more for passing up the stockbroker

Some 4 hours later when the Boston city limits sign came into view, Barbie remarked rather cynically. "When I was 8, my parents took me, my 3 sisters and my brother all the way to Daytona for a Nascar race. It was a blistering hot August and we spent 11 hours in a minivan that had a barely functioning air conditioner. My siblings and I fought every step of the way, our parents yelled at us about every other mile to stop fighting and at one point, my sister Carrie threw up on me when she got car sick. Congratulations, you two silently glaring at or fighting with each other for the last 4 hours have managed to make me nostalgic for that particular trip from hell."

Barbie then reached over to Tori, who was next to her, and flicked her ear.

"Owww…. That hurt." Whined the Latina.

Seeing that Barbie had only flicked her and not Jade, Tori whined even louder. "How come I get flicked and Jade doesn't."

Barbie deadpanned. "To quote my father, because you're the one I can reach."

Jade was about to laugh, but an nasty glare out of the corner of Barbie's eye, causing her to simply say. "Sorry."

"Sorry Barbie" Said Tori looking ashamed.

Though they had apologized, the glare that Barbie saw them give each other said this issue had not been solved one bit.

"Ok, we'll arrive at the college in 20 minutes, let's play nice like good little children and get this done. You know if we had time, I'd drive straight to a hotel, handcuff you both to a bed and leave you there until you've both fucked it out of your systems."

Both Tori and Jade opened their mouths to speak, but quickly closed them again seeing how annoyed Barbie seemed to be getting.

Their destination was a small art's college on the North side of Boston called, Corman School of the Arts. They arrived on campus just after 3 in the afternoon and parked the truck in the back of an abandoned supermarket, that happened to be right next to the park.

Their next stop was the student bookstore where all three purchased Corman college sweatshirts and put them on, in order to blend in better. While Barbie noted Tori and Jade started to talk, they stuck to discussing the plan.

Once they blended in they walked the campus a bit and even saw Reverend Mike's church; the building itself, used to be a small tool and die factory. Looking at the place, Barbie couldn't help but feel, that the buildings brick walls and few windows made the structure look quite unwelcoming.

They had one bit of luck though. It was October and the New England Patriots were playing the Green Bay Packers today and thus, most students were indoors watching the game. Jade noted that there were very few people were on the streets as a result. Even better was the fact that the game had started at 3:30, which meant that the game would still be going at least 6:30 pm. They all agreed the timing of the game would certainly help them.

They then checked out the campus, the park and the vicinity of Cat and Annie's apartment building. Once they had their locations scouted, the trio finalized their plan of attack.

Once they had things finalized they parked themselves in a local campus sports bar to wait. Even the live, jovial atmosphere did little to dampen the tension between Tori and Jade.

At 5:15, the trio left the bar and headed to their starting position. As they emerged from the bar, Tori pulled out a blonde wig and headed along with Barbie towards Cat's apartment building. Jade headed towards the park.

Cat's apartment building was a 4 story brick structure that sat on a corner near several bars and stores that catered to students.

At 5:30 Tori, in a blonde wig, was sitting on the stoop of another apartment building two doors down, seemingly involved in something on her phone. Barbie was sitting in an outdoor café, right near the entrance to the park drinking coffee.

Nervously the girls waited, hoping this was not one of the rare days the girls showed up to the church social late.

At exactly 5:53, Tori looked up to see two girls emerging from Cat's apartment building. The first was a mousy looking girl with long brown hair, in a long conservative blue dress. The other girl, also in long conservative yellow dress was Cat. Tori was quick to note that Cat no longer had red hair, she had let it go back to her natural brown. Tori couldn't help but feel sad, for the Cat she knew was gone.

Knowing it was time, Tori gave a nod to Barbie across the street and pulled out a two-way radio.

Trying to keep her voice down, Tori said into the radio. "Broadsword calling Danny Boy, Broadsword calling Danny Boy"

"I will not use the code names, they're stupid!" Snapped Jade, on the other end.

"Fine! The mice are on their way."

"Understood! The cheese is ready!" Came the reply.

As Cat and Annie crossed the street and headed towards the entrance of the park, Barbie got up and measured her pace so she would enter the park, just a little behind Cat and Annie. She was wearing headphones and pretending to listen to music.

Cat and Annie, both engrossed in conversation entered the park, not even bothering to pay attention to the slightly older looking blonde woman about 10 feet behind them. Tori followed along about 30 yards behind Barbie.

It was Tori's job to distract anyone else who happened to be coming up behind them. She would pretend to trip and twist her ankle.

The path of the park that Annie and Cat were walking on was surrounded by lots of trees and shrubbery. The spot where the ambush was planned was right at a sharp bend in the path. No one coming from the other direction would be able to see anything.

Closer and closer Annie and Cat got until finally Cat looked down and right in the path was a small unopened bag of Bibble.

"Ooooooh….Praise God and Reverend Mike, I found Bibble. Truly a sign from God he is pleased with me." Cat squealed.

Then Cat spotted another one, near the edge of the path. "Another one!"

Annie halted and shook her head. "Cat, I'm not sure if you should. We need to get to the church."

But by then, Cat had spotted the pile of bags of Bibble in a small clearing, a few feet off the path.

Unable to resist, Cat made a beeline for the pile o Bibble.

Barbie quickly checked behind her and only could see Tori some distance back. Then she came up behind Annie, who looked dismayed. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes, my roommate, ran into…."

Annie never got to finish her sentence as Barbie quickly shoved a stun gun into her side. Annie quickly collapsed into Barbie's arms.

"Sorry Sugar."

Meanwhile, Cat had run through the bushes and happily started to pick up her bounty of Bibble Bags. A moment later she sensed someone behind her and turned around!

"Annie, this is great….Jade!" Said Cat, with a frown upon seeing it was not the person she expected.

With a serious look, Jade said. "I'm sorry Cat."

Cat, now very puzzled, scratched her head. "For what?"

With lighting speed, Jade shoved her stun gun into Cat's side. Like Annie, Cat quickly crumpled to the ground.

"For that?"

Seconds later, Barbie came through the bushes dragging the unconscious Annie.

"All go well Barbie? No one see you?"

Barbie carefully placed Annie down. "No problem. No one saw, me. I heard some distant odd crunching sound, but otherwise, the park seems to be deserted."

About 15 seconds later, Tori burst into the clearing to see Annie and Cat carefully laid out on the ground.

"No problems?"

Barbie shook her head. "No. All is perfect so far."

Tori looked to Jade who had pulled from her bag a small bottle of whisky, which she then proceeded to pour some of it on Annie's clothes.

"Jade you ready to Take Annie back to her apartment. Can you manage it?"

"She's a small thing, I can handle it."

Everything was going perfectly, but Tori was still worried that some detail would be missed. "You have your cover story ready if someone see's you dragging a unconscious girl?"

With a roll of her eyes, Jade nodded as she picked up Annie. "We were both watching the Patriot's game at Murphy's sports bar across the park. My friend had too much to drink, passed out and needed to be taken home. I poured some whisky on her so she smells of alcohol."

"Good, I just looked, if anyone asks, the current score is Green bay 17, Patriots 10. I'll get Cat to the truck."

"What about me?" Inquired Barbie.

"Just wait here, for Jade."

Jade made her way out of the bushes and back on the path, where she headed back to Cat's apartment. In a few minutes she had made it back to the entrance of the park and felt good about how everything was going smoothly.

At least until she heard the approaching police siren

"FUCK!"

In the bushes, Barbie heard the police siren as well, plus several others. All of them seemed to be coming this way.

Feeling a sudden surge of panic, Barbie once again cursed herself for passing up a chance to be with that really hot stockbroker, Kate.

It was about a minute later when an out of breath Jade, burst into bushes and was still carrying Annie.

"Jade what in the hell is going on? They cops know, we need to get out of here."

Jade quickly shook her head and put Annie down. "No their not after us! That crunching sound you heard. Some asshole ran a red light right in front of Cat and Annie's building and got into an bad accident. Looks like half the cops and firemen in Boston are showing up. I couldn't risk any of those cops seeing me carrying Annie and getting nosy."

"Great, we can't leave her here, she'll wake up soon, realize something's wrong and tell one of those cops she was attacked. Then we're screwed."

Jade cursed loudly. "Fuck. We can't take her with. We don't have permission. We need to get her home and she's starting to wake up."

Suddenly Barbie had an idea. "Maybe just maybe we still can. Reach into her purse and give me her phone."

Some 12 minutes later, Tori was on the verge of freaking out. She had gotten the unconscious Cat to the van and carefully placed her inside. But soon after, she began to hear the sounds of many police sirens, which sent her fear levels through the roof.

Looking down at the keys in her hand, Tori felt the overwhelming urge to just start the van and go. Instead she slammed her foot on the ground. "I will not abandon Jade, never. Nor will I abandon Barbie."

Some 5 tense minutes later Jade and Barbie came out of the park. She also noticed that Jade was carrying the unconscious Annie.

Tori was now in a near panic. "Jade what the hell happened! Why isn't Annie in her apartment and why do I hear sirens."

"Vega, some jackass got into an accident right in front of Cat's building and the place is crawling with cops. Carrying around an unconscious girl will almost certainly attract the attention of one of them so we have to go with plan B."

Now looking somewhat incensed, Tori put her hands on her hips. "What's plan B. I didn't approve of a plan B. I'm in charge here."

Jade loaded Annie in the van and promptly put a finger in Tori's face. "Stuff it Vega, we need to go to the bus station, now!"

Barbie then put a hand on Tori's shoulder. "Relax sugar. I remember what Jade told me about the cult, they get the kids to cut off contact with their parents. I guessed that Annie's parents might just be worried about her so I called them. After some quick explaining, I found out I was right. They are horribly worried about her, since she cut contact with them. "

"But what's this about the bus station?"

"Thankfully her parents live in Portland, Maine which is only a 2 hour drive north of here. There happens to a bus leaving for Portland in exactly 25 minutes. We're going to put Annie on it and her parents will meet the bus in Portland. She started to wake up a few minutes ago, but Jade slipped a bit of rohypnol that I had procured, in the water we gave her. She'll be out for a few hours. Annie's parents, friends, family and their priest are going to stage an intervention when she wakes up. But we can't miss that Bus. I'll stay in the back with Cat and you get us to the bus station."

So the girls raced to the bus station and got her loaded on a mostly empty bus to Portland Maine with only minutes to spare. Jade slipped the driver an extra 20 to make sure Annie wouldn't be disturbed during the trip. They told him she had passed out during a going away party.

Once Annie was safely on her way home, the girls went in the back of the van to check on Cat. She was tied up in the back of the van, with a gag in mouth and didn't look happy. She was angry at all three but seemed to save her most hateful glare for Tori.

"I knew she'd wake soon, so I tied her up until we could get on the highway." Said Barbie.

"Cat I'm sorry we have to do this, but you're just not yourself. For the record, we have the blessing your parents." Jade said sadly, as she pulled Cat's gag free.

Instead of yelling at Jade, Cat immediately ripped into Tori. "You fucking dirty diseased dyke. I knew you'd be responsible. You're worthless….."

And so it continued that the once innocent Cat kept going for almost 2 straight minutes, blasting Tori with nearly every insult she could for sinning against god by choosing to be Gay.

Finally Cat finished with. "As soon as I get out of here Tori, I'm going slit your throat. I'm going to do God's work and send you to hell. Where you will burn for eternity. Sometimes God needs a hand to do his bidding and I shall be the vessel of his wrath!"

Seeing Cat insult and call her names was one thing, but seeing the once innocent Cat threaten to kill her pushed Tori over the edge.

"I'm doing this to help you…why don't you understand….I want my friend back!" Screamed Tori as she burst into tears.

Suddenly exploding in rage, Jade pulled a scissors from her pocket and held it tightly to her throat.

"If you ever threaten Tori again, I'll gut you…." Jade said in a particularly poisonous tone of voice.

To all present, Jade's words sounded chillingly, like a very real threat, especially Cat who was too shocked to speak.

Realizing things were spinning out of control, Barbie stepped forward, looking at Jade and Tori. "Jade, Tori, this isn't helping. Both of you; get in the front of the van, drive and actually talk to each other. According to my phone it's 7:03 which means we have exactly 57 minutes before Annie and Cat are missed, not to mention a 4 hour drive ahead of us. So let's get the hell out of dodge. NOW MOVE!"

Jade gave Cat a contemptuous glare, before backing away. Turning to Tori, she lead the still crying Latina out of the back of furniture van and closed the door behind them.

Not wasting any time, they hopped in the front of the van and headed out.

**The chapter title is from the Triumph song of the same Name.**


	31. The Best you can do

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 31 – The best you can do**

**No One's POV**

As Jade jumped in the cab of the S-Mart van, she was aware of three things. The first of which was that they had just kidnapped someone and needed to get back to New York City before anyone came looking for Cat or Annie. The second thing was the fact that she was in an emotional tailspin from all the events of this afternoon, Tori's recent encounter with Cat and her lingering anger with Tori. The third thing was that Tori was still crying.

Her instincts told her to deal with Tori first or maybe just scream, but priorities were priorities. She needed to get out of town, plain and simple. So pushing her own feelings and Tori' out of her mind, she focused on getting to the highway as soon as possible. The fact she wasn't familiar with Boston didn't help, but the map app on her phone gave her a route.

Making her way through the seemingly labyrinth Boston streets, Jade finally found the on-ramp for the highway heading towards New York City.

It was dark as Jade emerged onto the freeway and she could see most of the other vehicles on the road were semi-trucks. It was only after she had merged into the late evening traffic, did Jade realize she had been holding the steering wheel with an almost death like grip.

She looked over to Tori, who had stopped crying and was numbly staring out the window. Jade wanted to speak, but found herself suddenly unable to talk. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to yell at Tori, cry, or breath a sigh of relief. She felt emotionally overwhelmed.

Unable to speak, Jade focused her eyes on the road and drove, the only sound that could be heard was that of the engine and wheels on the pavement.

Jade lost track of the time as they drove, dividing her attention between the semi in front of her and her turbulent thoughts.

"It's 8:00 now." Said Tori in a soft voice, breaking the stillness.

"By now, they know two of their flock are missing. Vega could you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"In my bag, next to me, there is a small vial of liquid. It's the Rohypnol that Barbie got for me to use on Annie, could you pour it out please. I'd rather not hold on to it.

"Sure." Tori said as she began to dig through Jade's bag.

After a moment of searching, the vial was discovered. Tori then poured it out the window and chucked the vial itself, just to be sure it was gone.

"Thank you Tori."

The ice had been broke, but only just. The conversation was stilted and their word spoken cautiously. Each felt like they were somehow walking through a minefield, where if the wrong thing was spoken the other would explode.

"I've been thinking Jade?"

"About what?"

"Lots of things, but I did realize sending Annie to her parents actually works better for us. Originally she'd wake in her own apartment or be able to sound the alarm that Cat had been kidnapped. Now, she's on her way home. Even if the cult members get in their apartment, they'll find nothing to indicate any foul play. So if they call the police, what can they say? Um… two of our members didn't show up for bible study. The cops will think it's a joke and hang up. The cult members will know something's wrong, but they won't be able to do much about it."

Jade nodded. "True, but I still want to put as much distance between us and them and them, as quickly as we can."

Tori pulled a water bottle from her bag and took a drink. "Of course. Do you want any water? I've got a few sandwiches from the bus station if your hungry."

"No thank you. For what's it worth, we just passed into Rhode Island."

"Good."

The conversation seemed to die and for the next half an hour or so, they sat in silence as the van drove through the city of Providence.

Again Tori broke the silence. "I wasn't going to abandon you."

Jolted from her thoughts, Jade looked over with a puzzled expression. "What, When?"

"The sirens, when I heard the sirens. I thought someone saw us and called the cops. Part of me wanted to leave with Cat right then and there, but I refused to abandon you. "

Jade paused as she took a moment to change lanes. "You would have waited for me, even though you were sure the cops were coming for you."

"Yes."

"Even though I've been a shit the last week. Not that I'm over it, but you wouldn't leave me." Jade said somewhat tersely

"I wouldn't abandon you. Tell me, did you mean that threat, when you threatened Cat?"

After taking deep breath and exhaling, Jade responded. "At that moment, yes I did. I didn't even have to think about it. She hurt you and I just reacted. I just couldn't stand seeing you like that."

"It wasn't really Cat you know. She's been programmed to say that. I shouldn't have let her get to me. That was stupid. How do you think Barbie is doing with Cat?"

Jade shrugged. "We'll I haven't heard any blood curdling screams, so they probably haven't killed each other. You can text her if you're curious."

"I'll leave her be, she give us a shout if she needs anything."

Again the conversation seemed to dry up, each not sure what to say. So they let the silence fall and watched the houses and buildings streak by.

After a while, Tori's phone chimed, breaking the stillness once again.

Picking up phone, Tori quickly read an email and smiled.

"Good news, Barbie just got an email from Annie's parents; she forwarded it on to me. They picked her up at the bus station safe and sound. She's still asleep, but is now comfortably resting in her own bed, in her own room, at her parents' house. It says they've got all her friends, family and even the local priest coming over to stage an intervention when she wakes up. They're confident they can bring her back to reality. They send their profound thanks."

"She's in for a bit of a surprise, isn't she."

Tori couldn't help but nod in agreement. "I'd say so."

"Tori I just have to say this, I'm still angry at you. Part of me doesn't' want to, but I just can't help it."

"Because I forced you into doing my way?"

"Yes!" Said Jade forcefully.

Tori who up to now, had been speaking softly, spoke louder and more confidently. "Jade, I'm not going to apologize for that. I did what I did for you; to stop you from running off and just snatching her off the street. You could have wound up under arrest or worse. As I said before, I care for you and I won't let anything happen to you. Not to mention I've just been thinking of something, you're a hypocrite."

"WHAT!"

"Yes Jade, a hypocrite. You're mad at me because I blackmailed you into doing something my way. Something I did for YOUR own good. But look at what we just did. We drove to Boston, knocked out Cat with a stun gun and stuffed her in the back of a delivery van so we can have her deprogrammed. Something we did FOR HER OWN GOOD! So you're mad at me, for doing the very same thing you just did to Cat. Not to mention that when Cat got angry at me, you got mad at her. You thought her anger at me unjustified, so much so you threatened to kill her. Well then your anger at me, is just as unjustified."

For several seconds, Jade sad there frozen with a rather stupid look on her face as Tori's rather devastating logic sank in.

"I HATE BEING FORCED, Beck force me to do things for 3 years and now you!" Screamed Jade.

Doing her best not to take it personally, Tori lowered her voice to a more soothing level. "To be honest, I didn't enjoy forcing you. I found it rather distasteful. But I'll take that to having to visit you in prison any day. "

"Tori how many times do I need to tell you that that Beck forced to do things. You doing that, brought a lot of those memories back. Set off some of the same fears. Please understand, I'm still trying to get over this."

Tori paused for a moment to think. "I'm sorry he treated you like that, I really am. Jade, a person's life if full of choices. You do the best you can do, under the circumstances and sometimes you'll make the right choice and sometimes you won't. I made the best choice I could at the time, for both you and for Cat. I just said your anger wasn't justified. Now that I think about it, I was wrong, at least partially. I am sorry. You do have a right to be angry, but I just need you to understand, that I did this only because I felt I had to. Just like you felt you had to do what you did with Cat and even then, perhaps Cat has a right to be angry. Maybe there was a different way we didn't think of."

Jade shook her head. "As mad as I am, I now realize that you did what you thought was best. I can't fault you for that. Had you not forced me into this plan, I may have just grabbed Cat off the street. I just can't let go of things so easily, not this, not Beck, I'm so screwed up."

"Look, I know you feel wounded, and torn up inside. Beck's locked away and you still see him when you go to sleep. You're confused, scared, traumatized and your emotions are running amuck. And I think deep down that you're scared that I won't give you another chance. That I'll see the way you are and I'll reject you. You feel violated and dirty and don't feel that you are worth being loved.

Tori then gently placed her hand on Jade's shoulder "Jade, I've had a crush on you ever since that first day at Hollywood Arts. I think you're beautiful and special. We've already been through a lot together, you've made mistakes, I've made mistakes, but we came through it and formed a bond in the process. There is nothing more in the world that I want than, when you're ready, to start to date again and see if we can deepen that bond. I know there's no guarantee in life and I don't have all the answers or know what will happen to us."

"Like we end up hating each other." Jade noted sadly.

"I can't lie and say that won't happen, but I can tell you with every fiber of my being, that as a lover for simply a friend; there is no one else I want to be with right now. I didn't abandon you today and I hope to be there for you for a very long time. I dearly hope that's something you'd like too. "

The moving speech, quickly caused Jade to start choking up. "I don't know what to say, here you make this beautiful speech and I've got nothing. I can't even say how I truly feel."

"You don't have too. Words are overrated, anyway. We watch out for each other. We may not always do it in the best way and sometimes we fail, but we do the best we can do."

Jade smiled as a tear ran down her cheek. "Tori, you're my best friend."

Just hearing that, a simple affirmation of their deep friendship was music to Tori's ears. "You're my best friend too."

Feeling better, Jade let some of her dark humor show. "At least until we end up hating each other."

Tori let out a laugh. "Fair enough."

"Regardless if my anger is justified or not, I plan to be mad at you for 2 or 3 more days. Just to get it out of my system."

Tori leaned back in her seat and shrugged. "Ok."

Jade's expression turned serious for a moment. "You're ok now?"

"Yeah, I forgot it wasn't really Cat and let her get to me, I shouldn't have done that. I'll be fine. What about you?"

There was a long pause before Jade finally answered. "I'll be fine…..someday."

"Enough deep talk. I'd hate for us to run out of things to talk about. How about we just relax and listen to tunes." Tori said as she flipped on the radio.

They were soon greeted by the sounds of Christopher Cross, singing, Arthur's Theme, from the 1981 movie, Arthur.

"I love this song." Tori said as she turned up and began to sing along. After a few bars, Tori looked to Jade who was just shaking her head.

"Come on Jade, stop being a party pooper, you like the song admit it."

"NO. I hate this song."

"YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT! NOW SING DAMMIT!"

Jade let out a resigned sigh and began to sign along the Latina.

_"When you get caught between the Moon and New York City  
I know it's crazy, but it's true  
If you get caught between the Moon and New York City  
The best that you can do  
The best that you can do  
Is fall in love"_

After two songs, Jade stopped pretending she hated singing along and they kept on singing with Tori to every other goofy old pop song that came on after it. Just under2 hours and two arguments over who was out of tune, later, they pulled up in the parking lot of the New York City hotel, where they were to meet the professional deprogrammer.

Getting out of the van they saw a woman in her forties, with short black hair, walk up. "Hello, I'm Andrea Middleton; you must be Jade and Tori."

Tori shook Andrea's hand. "Yes, I'm Tori, this is my friend Jade."

Jade then shook Andrea's hand. "Pleased to meet you."

"Well Ladies, you texted and said you grabbed your friend Cat. How did it go?"

Tori handed Andrea, Cat's purse.. "Pretty good, we had one glitch, but worked around it. We got away with her clean. Here's her purse, her phone is in there and turned off. Are you ready?"

Andrea took the purse, but transferred Cat's phone to her own. "Can't let her have the phone right now. I am ready. How was she when you grabbed her."

Tori shuddered. "Pissed off to no end. They got to her good."

"How long do you think it will take?" Jade inquired.

"It depends on the individual. I have to break the programming and revert them back to their original personality. It could take a few days, but we'll beat this. I've done this before."

Tori nodded. "Got it, let's open up the back and see what we'll find."

Jade grabbed the latch and started to open the back of the van. "Lots of blood and two corpses I'd guess. In that case Vega, you're cleaning it up."

Not quite knowing what to expect, Jade threw open the doors. A second later, they spotted, Barbie who surprisingly, had her arm around Cat's waist. Cat herself was sort of clinging to Barbie in return..

"I'm so confused, what do I do Barbie?" Said Cat, in a trembling voice.

"Don't worry sugar, you're going to spend some time with this nice lady named Andrea and she's going to help you. Come on."

Cat reluctantly stepped out of the rear of the van, still clinging to Barbie. Both very baffled by this turn of events, Jade and Tori noted Cat seemed to avoid looking at them. Though they got the impression it was out of shame and or fear, so they simply stepped back and let Barbie do her thing.

Barbie stepped up to Andrea. "Hello, you must be Andrea. I'm Barbie."

Andrea quickly shook "Hello Barbie, is this Cat?"

"Yes. I can't say she's deprogrammed, not by a longshot, but I've managed to loosen her up for you. She's mega confused at the moment." Barbie then turned to Cat. "Ok, this is Andrea. You can go with her now. She's got a nice room in the hotel where she's going to spend some time talking with you. It's ok."

Cat then cautiously walked up to Andrea and said a meek, hello.

"Hello Cat, why don't you come with me? We're going to spend some time talking. I've even got some clothes for you to change into."

Cat nodded and as Andrea led her off, she turned to Barbie. "Call me, please?"

"I told you I would, stop worrying. Now go." Barbie said in a reassuring voice.

Barbie then shut the back of the van and turned to Tori and Jade. Both of them had looks of near shock on their faces and mouths hanging open to boot.

"You two look stupid with your mouths hanging open. Please tell me you worked it out, cause if you didn't, I'm too damn tried to do anything about it."

"We're…we're fine." Tori managed to speak first.

"What happened?" sputtered Jade.

"All I'll say is, I'm that good. You two sooooo owe me a threesome and believe me, I do plan to collect. But for now, I just want to drop you two clowns off, go home and go to sleep." Said the blue eyed, blonde with a mixture of weariness and pride.

As Barbie walked towards the front of the truck, Jade turned to Tori. "Threesome?"

Tori nodded. "Yep. We'll discuss it later."

Jade for a moment thought of her kiss with Barbie and shrugged. "Ok"

Still very puzzled about what happened in the back of the van, the pair exchanged puzzled looks and headed towards the front of the van.

**I have a question for you readers. Since Cat and Barbie have bonded, would you like to see a chapter focusing on them? It would start with their experiences in the same van ride. If you don't, we'll just leave what happened in the van to your imaginations and move on with the story.**

**But in any case, Tori understands Jade's anger and Jade understands Tori's motivations for what she did. They have affirmed their friendship and things are looking better.**

**Lyrics for, Arthur's theme(The best you can do) are printed without permission. **


	32. Cat & Barbie Part 1: AKA, Paradise lost

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from Scratch**

**Chapter 32 – Cat &amp; Barbie Part 1: AKA, Paradise lost**

**By popular demand, I have written what happens with Cat and Barbie in the back of the truck as they drive from Boston to New York. As a lot happens, I will have to break up the ride into two chapters. I also must warn the readers that there is some serious subject matter here and possible trigger warnings. This one gets a bit intense.**

As soon as Tori and Jade left the truck I flipped on the battery operated Coleman lantern that I had shoved in the back corner of the van. I did so just in time to see the door's close and hear them lock.

That done, I ran over and stuffed the gag back into Cat's mouth. "Sorry, I'll have to keep this in your mouth until we're on the highway. Can't have someone next to us at a red light hearing you scream for help."

Cat's response was a rather cute, but hateful glare.

It was then heard the engine roar to life and moment later we were on our way. As we pulled out I took a look at my surroundings.

I was in the back of a medium sized delivery van, in a space that was van 23' long and about 7 and a half feet wide. My friend who borrowed it to my told me they usually delivered furniture and appliances with it. However at the moment the only contents were me, Cat, a large pile of those blankets they use to cover furniture when they move stuff, a bucket with a board over it in one corner, a picnic cooler in another corner, a battery operated lantern, a duffle bag, a small iPod dock/radio and two folding chairs.

I looked to Cat who was obviously silent but giving me the evil eye.

"Ok, some basic housekeeping matters to attend to first. I am Barbie McKee, originally from Pierce Corner, Alabama. A tiny town that consists largely of a Baptist church, a Laundromat and 3 parked cars. To alleviate your fears, you will not be harmed. We are taking you to New York city to have you deprogrammed as Rev Mike and his cult-o-fun has got you messed up good. And for the record, this has been done with the blessing of your parents."

Referring to her church as a cult-o-fun, earned me a particularly scornful look, but I continued unabated.

"Your friend Annie is safe. She is currently asleep and on a bus headed toward her hometown of Portland, Maine. Her parents are waiting at the bus station there and they will take her home, where her friends and family are going to stage an intervention. It will take us about 4 hours to get to New York and we are locked in the back of this truck. As you can see, the door cannot be opened from the inside, so escape is not possible and once on the highway, no one will be able to hear you. So screaming is pointless. You're phone and purse are up front with Jade and Tori. Even if you get my phone, you won't be able to unlock it. Understand."

Surprisingly she nodded.

"Good, if you have to relieve yourself, I have a bucket in the corner, there's roll of toilet paper inside. If you get hungry or thirsty, I have in the cooler, some sodas, water and juice pouches. I'm told you were fond of them, I got the pacific cooler. Besides the Bibble which was used to lure you into this trap, I have some sandwiches, I bought from the little deli at the bus station. Feel free to help yourself. When I untie you, please don't try to overpower me, besides being a waitress as a nudie bar, I teach aerobics, platies and self-defense courses during the day at a health club. Got to keep my body that won't quit, in shape, can't keep my ladies happy without it. I am a lesbian for what it's worth. So don't waste your time, trying to fight me, cause you'll lose. I've been trying to get Jade to join my health club, but seem to like the hole in the wall she's at now. So as soon as we're on the highway, I'll untie you and then you can make yourself comfortable. Use the blankets or the folding chair. You got all that."

Again Cat nodded, but still didn't look very happy about it.

I then turned on the ipod to the special playlist I had devised for the trip. It was lots of slow, relaxing and low key ballads. A lot of them are love songs. I want to use the music to help calm her down and possibly loosen her up. The first of which was Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues.

I then sat down and waited until the starts and stops from the red lights in city traffic ended indicated we had finally gotten on the highway.

It only then I got up, untied her and yanked the gag from her mouth.

"Jezebel!"

Was the very first word out of her mouth, said with fury and passion.

I couldn't help but smile in response. "Oh my, I just knew you'd call me that. How can we forget the ultimate Bible party girl? She sounds more fun than a barrel of monkeys, don't you think? Man do I have you pegged. "

I then put my finger to my chin, with an amused look. "Now how does it go…Hmmm?"

_"Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols."_

I then dropped the amused look with one of seriousness. "Revelations, 2:20. Don't think for a second I haven't been called that before. Heck, my own mother called me that once, so you calling me that, won't bother me in the slightest. You can dig in and call me a harlot or unclean woman, do your worst. You got to Tori, you won't get to me."

Hearing me rattle off the appropriate Jezebel bible verse, like it was my phone number,seems to have rattled her. She for several seconds stared at me, as my skin had suddenly turned blue.

"You a bit confused now don't you. But as the verse goes, _For god is not a god of confusion, but of peace_, First Corinthians, 14:33"

Cat slowly walked around me. "You seem to know your bible."

"Better than you, a lot better than you. This stuff was pounded into my head a long time ago."

"And for turning your back on God, you will burn in hellfire." Snarled Cat.

Laughing I walked over and took out a bottle of water. "You're going to have to do better than that. Besides, says who?"

"Reverend Mike says, that all who lay with another of the same sex shall burn, including you."

I took a swig of water and closely watched her body language. She was very angry and tense, like a cobra ready to strike. But she also seemed to know that striking would be pointless, she looked horribly frustrated. I held all the cards and she knew it.

I stepped forward, dropped into my Alabama accent and spread my arms wide, like my granddaddy did when he preached on Sunday. "Of course we come to the dear Reverend Mike, the man with the plan, the man the answers, the man with the DIRECT LINE TO GOD HIMSELF, CAN I HAVE A HALLELUJAH!"

Cat seemed to burn in with fury and raised a fist. "DON'T MOCK HIM! HE'S A GREAT MAN! YOU SHALL BURN FOR THAT!"

I then smiled and scratched my head. "I'm sorry, am I supposed to burn for turning my back on god, laying with another woman or mocking your precious reverend Mike. I'm just a bit confused as I'm just a poor country girl."

Before she could respond I dropped my Alabama accent and again turned serous. "I'll mock who I please, besides, what was your initial response. You raised a fist in anger. Don't you know your good book?"

Then I hit her with another bible verse.

_"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil._"

"That'd be Psalms 37:8 or alternately. "Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."

Looking briefly puzzled Cat seemed search her mind. "That's not from the Bible."

"No that's actually Jedi Master Yoda. Patience you must have, my young padawan. I'll let you in on a secret, I'm a bit of a geek."

Me paralleling the Bible and Star Wars, I think nearly caused the poor girl's head to explode.

Like an angry spoiled child who'd just had their favorite toy taken away, she stormed over to the wall of the truck and pounded in pure frustration. After that, started what I call round one.

She with a near uncontrollable rage, paced back and forth, while she ranted and tossed out Bible verse after Bible verse saying how evil I, Jade, Tori and other homosexuals were. I just sat in my chair, drank my water and casually deflected each one with a counter verse. I'll have to admit they really must have pounded this into her head. Though she mainly was regurgitating what she'd been told to say, it was a little like debating a computer. Lots of rote memorization, with little overall understanding. But I'll have to admit I actually kind of enjoyed this part. Not to mention this little cutie actually looked a lot cuter when really angry. But I had to push my libido aside for the moment and concentrate on winning.

We kept it up for nearly an hour, until she let out a final blood curdling scream, sat down in the corner and pouted.

I can't say I really won round one, as my personal objective is to crack her defenses. I knew I had no chance of totally deprogramming her, but I could bust up her defenses and get inside her head a bit. From what I've been told she used to be a very sweet girl and I find myself wanting to get to know that girl. She's buried in Cat's head somewhere and maybe just maybe I can get to her.

In our competition, I had learned that Reverend Mikes teachings consisted of mostly anti-gay, anti-government, apocalyptical end times, hate thy neighbor unless they belong to our church, bullshit. It was a demented, paranoid, hate-filled, twisted and distorted version of Christianity, with Reverend Mike being the only pure and good person on the planet. He sounded like a power hungry, megalomaniacal, asshole.

For the moment she remained content to sit in the corner and pout. So I pulled out a book, Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. It's a vampire story that pre-dates Dracula and is about a woman who has gained the attention of a female vampire. I'm giant fan of the YouTube web series of the same name, so I thought I'd read the book.

An hour must have past, in which I read quietly, Cat sat in the corner pouting and the only sound we could hear was the soft music from my ipod and the wheels below us. However a tense stillness hung in the air.

It was broken by the chime of my phone, indicating I got an email. I read it quickly and said happily.

"Good news. You're friend Annie is safe at home in her own bed, soon to be surrounded by friends, family and other people that love her. They even say her ex-boyfriend is driving all the way from Pittsburg to help to free her from the influence of Rev Mike. Such a very nice gesture."

I then passed on the message to Tori, whom I know would be glad to know this.

Cat looked at me briefly and then just lowered her head, a morose expression on her face. I let a few more tense minutes pass, before I hit her with the next phase of my plan; aka round 2. This was the part I was really dreading.

I haven't prayed in years, but in this one case I said a small two word prayer. "Forgive me."

I exhaled loudly to get her attention. "Reverend Mike, hardly is the first man to say he's got a direct line to God. You're a god fearing woman, let me play you a sermon. Listen."

I it a clip on my ipod which I had gotten from the library and soon a man's voice seemed to boom out of the speakers. It was a powerful voice and the sermon was full of fire and brimstone. Cat seemed to ignore it at first but soon started to listen, seemingly caught up in the sheer power of the man's voice. Eventually she listened more and more, finally by the point she reached this part, he had her full attention.

_"If! If by any chance you would make a mistake to try to come in and take any one of us, we will not let you, you will die. You will have to take any one of us over all our dead bodies. Love is the only weapon." Shit! Bullshit! Martin Luther King died with love! Kennedy died talking about something he couldn't even understand, some kind of generalized love, and he never even backed it up. He was shot down. Bullshit! "Love is the only weapon with which I've got to fight." I've got a hell of a lot of weapons to fight! I've got my claws. I've got cutlasses. I've got guns. I've got dynamite. I've got a hell of a lot to fight! I'll fight! I'll fight!"_

I then turned it off, partially as I couldn't stand listen to him anymore and I think I had made my point anyway.

"Who was he?" Cat replied in a cautious, but interested voice.

"You looked a bit mesmerized didn't you? That was Jim Jones."

"The Rapper?"

I scoffed, "Hardly, that was the very voice of none other than the Reverend Jim Jones."

"Who was he?"

"A bit before our time, so I can't blame you for not hearing of him, besides, I doubt your reverend would make mention of him. He was a fire and brimstone preacher, lead a church called the Peoples Temple in California, back in the 70's. He was very popular for a time, they fed the poor, preached the word of God. People were very loyal to him, some loved him, some even saw him as the massiah. A lot of the church's members were poor. There were accusations of him fooling around with and taking advantage of women in the church, but the accusations were ignored or went nowhere. He was a very charismatic guy, even met the 1st lady once.."

"What happened, where is he?"

She was really paying attention, which was very good. "He didn't like society and wanted to form his own perfect paradise, for him and his members; away from the world. So they formed a big agricultural settlement in Guyana, South America. He told them they would be safe when the world ended or something like that. They followed him, hundreds of people left and went there, to start anew."

I took a drink of water to make a dramatic pause, to keep her on edge, waiting for the next part of my story.

"But soon complaints started to filter out. People were made to work for hours and hours in the hot sun, families separated and other allegations of human rights abuses. It was his little kingdom and increasingly his tightened his grip on the people who lived in it. They lived by his will and his will alone. though he told them it was all God's will, of course. So in 1978, a congressman and some news people went down to see the conditions and while Jones showed them a happy place full of happy people, some wanted to leave. In reality some were very unhappy."

I sighed uncontrollably. "It was his kingdom and in his mind, god had given it to him. Now people wanted to leave. His world had started to collapse. So when the congressmen and the others left, they were ambushed at the nearby airstrip. A bunch of people got killed, including the congressman."

Cat was still hanging on every word and I had her.

"When the authorities reached Jonestown a day later. You know what they found?'

"What?"

I reached in my bag and began to lay down photograph after photograph in front of Cat. It showed a compound in the jungle, with buildings here and there. But what made the photos stand out, were the bodies.

In each photo all you could see were bodies of men, women, children, all laying on the ground, there were dozens of bodies, dozens of dozens of bodies. Some were aerial photographs where you could see bodies from one end of the compound to the other. It was a grotesque sight indeed.

Cat sort of numbly looked at each one, as I lay it down in front of her.

"That's what they found, bodies. Hundreds of bodies, men, women, children, babies all dead. Jones had told them to kill themselves in an act of revolutionary suicide. They drank Kool aid laced with cyanide. Hundreds of them drank it, told their children to drink it. They have a recording made of that day as a tape player was running. The few that refused, were restrained and had it injected."

"NO!" Cat said, shaking their head, as her eye lingered on the foot of what could only be a child that could be seen in the corner of one of the photos.

Though only part of a leg could be seen, I could see, it was starting to really upset her. Tears were now forming in her eyes. Jade had told me Cat was very sensitive about certain things, people being hurt was one of them. So to be honest, I exploited that weakness, if you want to call it that. I guess the question is, am I any better?

"The babies had it squirted in their mouths and in the end Jones, shot himself. This supposed man of God, a supposed man peace, is responsible for the deaths of 909 men, women, children and babies. Only a handful managed to escape by running into the jungle."

Getting upset, Cat averted her eyes, "No, he's different. He's a good man!"

She looked like a very nice girl and I found myself hating to have to do this but one must do what one must do. I began to shout and tilted her head down so once again, she could see the bodies. How hidiously ironic, that I use one horrible cult leader to destroy the image of another horrible cult leader.

"LOOK AT THE PHOTOGRAPHS. THEY THOUGHT JONES WAS A GOOD MAN TOO, LOOK AT THEM NOW! THEY'RE ALL DEAD!"

It was only when I finished my statement that I realized that I had automatically dropped into my Alabama accent. In addition, I also realized to my shock, that I had also begun to unconsciously imitate, my grandfather's preaching style. Until I was 14, when he died, I went to church every Sunday and listend to him preach. He like Jones, was a fire and brimstone type preacher, but my grandfather was actually rather nice. I wasn't talking anymore, I unintentionally had begun to preach. How strange, that after all these years I just fell back into it. I had let my self get carried away and though it seemed to be effective, it was scary as fuck!

Cat now had begun to sob, tears flowing down her face like the Nile river.

"Is he different, can you be sure? Jones was certain he had the line to god too, he told them he spoke for God, that it was he and he alone. He fucked with their minds, used their faith against them and destroyed them. He wasn't a man of God at all; he was a evil, sick and demented man. Reverend Mike is doing the same thing, using your faith in god, to lead you away from the light! Follow him and he'll lead you down that gilded road that leads to the enteral fires of hell!"

"NO! HE'S NOT EVIL!" Cat wailed back.

Then I hit her with the good book, in an fire and brimstone oratory that I know would make my dead granddaddy proud. I however was not.

_"2nd Corinthians, chapter 11, verses 12 to 15. For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ.__ And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve."_

Now I was really getting carried away and had begun to speak almost in a maniacal fashion. "Cat, can you be sure, he's not a false apostle, CAN YOU? HE'S FULL OF HATE, FULL OF DARKNESS, FULL OF CONTEMPT FOR HIS FELLOW MAN, HE'S EVIL AND WILL LEAD YOU INTO ETERNAL DAMNATION!"

"HE'S NOT, HE'S NOT, HE'S NOT.. HE CAN'T BE, HE CAN'T BE, HE CAN'T BE..NO…PLEASE NO…HE CAN'T BE…." Said the sobbing girl, as she completely broke down.

What I had just done, this act of verbal brutality which is utterly against my nature, is working. I feel like an utter shit for doing it, I really do, but when she switched from, he's not, to he can't be, I knew she had just expressed doubt about him.

She had begun to crack….

**The story Barbie relates about Jonestown tragedy is true. The words from the sermon that plays are indeed his words, exactly as he said them. There are of course various conspiracy theory's regarding the 1978 Jonestown cult suicide, but I do not prescribe to them. I believe it was a sick, evil, madman, who led a lot of good people down the wrong path and ultimately destroyed them, along with himself. Reverend Mike may only be a character in a story but, sadly there are real people, very much like him in the world.**

**If you want to hear that speech, you could try to listen to the song, Jonestown, by Concrete blonde. The audio of that speech is at the beginning of the song.**

**The congressman who was killed, was Leo Ryan of California's 11th district. **

**To the best of my knowledge the bible verses that are quoted, are correct.**

**There will be a part 2 detailing the rest of the ride.**

**I think it was an intense chapter. So tell me, do you agree with Barbie's methods? She was playing it, half preacher, half interrogator, but ultimately got Cat to begin to doubt Reverend Mike. It is worth noting that she derived no pleasure from it. Much like the theme in the last chapter, Barbie would tell you that she is simply doing what she thinks is right. **


	33. Cat & Barbie Part 2: AKA, The Tree

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 33 - **Cat &amp; Barbie Part 2: AKA, The Tree****

**Barbie's Pov**

As Cat completely broke down, I took a step back and collected my thoughts. I had gone way over the edge, to the point I was preaching myself. It was very strange. I had left that life, that mindset, all of that behind years ago and for the most part had forgotten it. But it just came back with a vengeance.

We were at a delicate point and I need to retain control of the situation. I also needed to stay on the attack.

Kneeling down in front of her, I softened my voice and dropped my Alabama Accent. "Cat, faith is like a tool. Kind of like a hammer. You can use a hammer to build a house or a tree fort or maybe a hundred other useful things. But you also use hammer to bash someone's skull in. It's all in how it gets used. You follow me?"

She had stopped wailing but, Cat did nod yes.

"Well when you enter a church, to some degree you put your faith in their hands. You trust the priest, rabbi or whomever stands in front of the congregation to properly guide you to be a better Christian or whatnot. But that same priest or rabbi or minister can misuse your faith. In Boston there was priest named Geoghan, he used his position as a member of the clergy to gain access to youth he molested. People trusted him, trusted that he as man of God would do the right thing. He misused their trust, he abused their faith. Jim Jones did the same thing, he took those people's faith and used it against them. Both Geoghan and Jones were demented, sick people, we put our clergy on pedestals sometimes. We start to view them in the same light as we do God or Jesus. But unlike God or Jesus, these men and women are all too human. They are subject to the same human weaknesses that everyone has been, the have the same faults, the same desires, same weaknesses. You've put Reverend Mike on a pedestal; that can and has been some cases, be a very fatal mistake. As evidenced by the pictures on the floor in front of you."

"He's a good person! He has to be! He speaks the word of God!" Cat cried back in a shaky and very uncertain voice.

"If he's a good man, then why does he teach you to hate. Why does he tell you to not speak with your family? Why does he tell you to hate the government? Why does he tell you that people not in the church can be trusted? Remember the good book - Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I _am_ the LORD. That's Leviticus 19:18. And to me that verse has the most important word in the bible and that's love. If you boil Jesus's message down to a single word, it's love. Love thyself, love thy family, love thy neighbor. Don't even forget the message of the good Samaritan, that guy had the crap beaten out of him and who helped him, did the priest who came along, help him?"

I looked to Cat for the answer and she said in a soft voice. "No, he walked by."

"Did the Levite help him?"

"No, he also walked by."

"Who helped the man who had been beaten, robbed and left to die by bandits?"

"The Samaritan did."

"Yes and they were considered the enemy, but this man, this enemy who knew not the beaten man, helped him. Saw him not as a enemy, but a brother. Tell me honestly Cat, if I a lesbian were beaten and left to die on the sidewalk and Reverend Mike came by, would he help me?"

Cat put up her shaking hand to her chin and rubbed it as she searched for an answer. After several moments of thought, she said. "He despises all who lay with others of the same sex, he wants them all to be cleansed from this earth."

"So the answer is No then, he like the priest and the Levite would walk by and leave me to die. I'm not asking him to accept me because I like women, I only would ask that he accept me as a human being and show some human compassion. That's what Jesus asks his followers to do, show love, show compassion. It that is indeed Jesus's message, then why would Reverend Mike pass me by. Why does he tell you to not call your parents or your brother? He worries about you, your brother that is. Tori tells me that he cleans and dusts your room every week making sure it's nice for when you come back to visit.

"My brother does that? But Rev Mike tells me..." Said Cat as yet more tears fell.

"If Jesus's message is love, then why does Reverend Mike tell you to not to love."

"They are unclean! They are the wicked. They shun the message of God and will be cast out." Came the prompt reply as her programming started to return.

"Your family, your friends miss you, they worry about you, and they still love you. It hurts them to know you no longer love them."

"I stil..." She began to say before suddenly stopping herself.

I hit her again with the same question. "If Jesus message is love then why does Reverend Mike tell you to not to love."

No longer crying, she answered the same as last time, but took longer to answer.

I kept pressing it, alternately talking about the concepts of love, understanding and forgiveness and her families and friends love for her. I then would contrast them with the hateful message of Reverend Mike. That one question I would keep asking her over and over. As I went on, she took increasingly longer and longer to answer.

After half an hour she couldn't answer it at all, as her mouth opened and closed several times, but no words emerged.

She kept searching for an answer, but this time she seemed to be doing it in vain.

I said earlier, debating Cat was like debating a computer and now I've seemed to given the computer a question it couldn't answer. She can't reconcile Rev Mike's message of hate with her love for her family and the teachings of Jesus. She seemed to just keep thinking about it, trying to resolve it, as she quietly mumbled to herself.

If you ask a computer to calculate Pi to the last digit, the computer will just keep going until someone stops it or it eventually breaks down. That's because Pi has no last digit, it just goes on forever. So the question, what is the last digit of pi, has no answer and thus can't be resolved. Likewise Cat, was trying to trying to resolve something that can't be resolved.

After about 10 minutes of letting her suffer I walked to the cooler, extracted two sandwiches, a juice pouch, a soda and a bag of bible and walked back over to Cat.

"Here, eat something, I have a ham and cheese sandwich, a small bag of Bibble and a juice pouch. Give your head a rest."

Cat looked down at the food I lay in front of her cautiously for a moment and began to eat. I then sat next to her doing the same.

"On my wall at home." I said after I took a bite of my sandwich, " I only have one picture of anything from back home. Do you know what it is?"

"No."

"It's a picture of a huge, old sycamore tree, than hangs on my bedroom wall. It's just a picture of a tree taken on a spring day, nothing else. This particular tree is located up behind my hometown, up in the hills at the edge of the forest."

Cat scratched her head. "Why just a tree?"

"In high school, my best friend Kelly, well were more than that, we were in love."

I watched her expression change to a brief scowl as I said it. She however said nothing.

"That tree was our special place, we would spend hours just sitting there with each other. I'd read and she'd listen to music, with her head in lap or we'd just hold hands. Nowhere else were we happier. It wasn't even about sex as we never made love there. It was odd, but we felt that it would spoil the magic of the place. It was just about being with the person you loved. I told her I loved her for the first time under that tree and she said the same to me. For a time it was my favorite spot on earth. When people ask me what means to be a lesbian, I think of that spot. Even though she broke my heart and she's married to someone else, with two children, I still believe in what that place means. Just being with and being happy with the person you love. That's why I have a picture of a tree on my wall."

Cat promptly got up and in a rather chaotic fashion ranted some of Rev Mike's anti-gay teachings, but at the same time she looked horribly conflicted.

As she continued, her rant, something caught my attention.

"…It's so wrong, even when I told Elise about how I…It's just wrong, the bible says so."

"Cat, who's Elise and what did you tell her?"

As if I'd hit a switch, she suddenly got extremely nervous and looked more conflicted and confused as ever. She kept pacing back and forth, rubbing her hands as her anxiety became readily apparent

Getting up, I placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Just sit down, you can tell me. It's ok. Please tell me."

Like a broken record, Cat just said the same thing over and over. "I can't…I can't….I can't….I can't…."

I eased her back down, sat next to her and in comforting voice said. "Cat, John 8:32, Then you will know the truth and the truth will make you free."

Tears falling again, Cat began to speak. "Elise was a friend from class, a religious friend, she belonged to Reverend Mike's church and would occasionally invite me to go, but I didn't. I was with her one night and we were talking about relationships. I'm not sure why, but I told her that I think I found women attractive too. After that she really started to pressure me into joining her church. After that, when we'd go out to eat or to the mall, her friends from the church would then always happen to show up and join us. They'd talk to me about God and started to pressure me to join. The invited me to the camp they had for two weeks, all expenses paid. I went, they…they wouldn't let me sleep, they kept talking me about Reverend mike….I was so scared…at least until Rev Mike came…..then I listened to him and realized that I needed to get rid of my dirty sinning thoughts….he showed me the way….or is it the way…I don't know anymore…I'm dirty for thinking those things…..I'm dirty….."

Those bastards. It all makes sense now. Cat admits she thinks she's bisexual to Elise, a church member, who's a friend of hers. Cat's unsure of her sexuality, alone in a strange town with few friends and no family, and a bit childlike, so they see her as perfect candidate for correction, by religious conversion. Elise, gets her church friends to suddenly show up where ever they went to put additional pressure on her. Finally she gives in, goes to the churches camp, where' she's brainwashed. Utterly fucking diabolical.

Looking her straight in the eye, I said. "Cat, you're not dirty. You're a good person. Tori and Jade have told me how good you are. They are your real friends, not this Elise, she took advantage of you."

"But Tori is a….."

"And so is Jade. Tori and Jade, they're not dating right now, but soon will. They care for each other, alot. Do you know what your friend Beck did to Jade. Do you really know?"

"No."

"Horrible things, terrible things. He messed with her mind, like the church did to you. He's in jail and Tori helped her. Jade helped Tori by exposing that record producer for what he was, a horrible person. This today….what they're doing….their doing it because they love you. They want to help you, be the Cat you used to be again."

Now she was more confused and conflicted as ever. "They still care about me?"

"Yes, they're taking you to a woman who's going to talk to you. Help you. You'll stay with them for a day or so and help you feel better again. "

"Tori helping me…I was mean to her, how could…..I" Cat just seemed to crumble at this point and in an unexpected move, put her arms around me.

"I don't know what to do. He's in my head. I hear him telling me, I'm bad, they're bad. Tell me what to do."

I put my arms around her and pulled her close as she cried into my shoulder. Poor thing, I feel so bad for her. She's so scared and confused. From what I've heard, she used to be such a sweet thing. I wanted to do more to help her, so maybe I could meet that sweet girl, but all I could do now is comfort her.

"Just close your eyes and relax, Barbie is taking care now."

She wept silently until she finally fell asleep and remained so the rest of the ride. Never once did she let go of me. After feeling terrible about mentally breaking her, I felt like I'd made up for it, by comforting her. Is it horrible for me to notice she smells like strawberries? Must be the shampoo she uses; I like strawberries.

Finally I could tell by the bouncing of the van, we had gotten off the highway and were just about to reach our destination. A few minutes later I could feel the van come to a halt.

I nudged Cat gently. "We're here."

"Where?"

"A hotel in New York City. You'll be staying with a woman who will help you. Your parents paid for this woman to help you."

"I'm scared."

"Everything will be alright, I promise. I'll even call you when you're better."

"Thank you." Cat said weakly as I could hear the back of the van being opened up. I then switched off the light, the radio and stood with Cat, who once again clung to me.

As soon as the door opened, Cat and I stepped out onto the pavement, were I could see Tori and Jade. It was rather humorous, the nearly identical looks of utter bafflement on their faces.

I stepped up to Andrea, the deprogrammer, she had short dark hair and appeared to be in her 40's, but yet had a rather kind face.

"Hello, you must be Andrea, I'm Barbie."

Andrea shook my hand and turned to Cat. "Hello Barbie, is this Cat?"

"Yes. I can't say she's deprogrammed, not by a longshot, but I've managed to loosen her up for you. She's mega confused at the moment."

I then turned to Cat myself, the look of fear and confusion in her eyes, made me not want to part with her.

"Ok, this is Andrea. You can go with her now. She's got a nice room in the hotel where she's going to spend some time talking with you. It's ok."

Reluctantly Cat let go of me, walked up to Andrea and said a meek hello.

Andrea gave Cat a warm smile. "Hello Cat, why don't you come with me? We're going to spend some time talking. I've even got some clothes for you to change into."

Cat nodded and as Andrea led her off, she turned to me. "Call me, please?"

I told you I would, stop worrying. Now go." I said reassuringly.

As Andrea led Cat off, I shut the back of the van and then turned to Jade and Tori. They were just standing there slack jawed, as if I'd just walked on water or something.

"You two look stupid with your mouths hanging open. Please tell me you worked it out, cause if you didn't, I'm too damn tried to do anything about it."

The events of the day, the last 4 hours especially, left me drained, both physically and mentally. At the same time however, I was pretty damn proud of what I'd accomplished.

"We're…we're fine." Tori managed to speak first.

"What happened?" sputtered Jade.

"All I'll say is, I'm that good. You two sooooo owe me a threesome and believe me, I do plan to collect. But for now, I just want to drop you two clowns off, go home and go to sleep."

The girls soon joined me in the van as I drove them back home. They seemed rather tired themselves. Nobody said a word as we drove home.

"Next time, we break a law, let's do it in town, shall we." I quipped, as I pulled up to the curb in front of Tori's apartment building.

Tori then smiled and kissed me on the cheek, which earned me a semi-jealous glare from Jade. Gotta love how Jade is getting jealous again.

"Thanks Barbie, I can't thank you enough."

"You're welcome."

Jade then leaned over and quickly shook my hand. She's still very wary of being touched by anyone else but Tori. "Thanks Barbie."

"Welcome."

I watched them get out and as I drove off, I shouted. "NOW GO AND FUCK! THAT'S AN ORDER!"

An hour later, I had retrieved all my junk from the back of the van, dropped it off, returned home and was in bed.

Lying there, I found myself starring at the picture of the old sycamore Tree back home. Sure I have a fun and exciting life, spend time with lots of ladies and I really enjoy it. But someday, I'd just like to find someone to simply sit under a tree with.

As I turned off the light to go to bed, I found myself idly thinking. "I wonder if Cat likes sitting under trees."

**So that's what happened in the back of the van during the drive. Next chapter, we'll bring Jade and Tori back to find out what's going to happen next. Jori is coming soon, I promise. **

**I've said a lot about religion in the last few chapters and I'll say this one last thing. Much like Barbie, I think people's faith can be terribly misused. People blind us and sometimes we blind ourselves to what's going on right in front of us. It's happened before and I'm sure will happen again. **

**But what's in store for Barbie and Cat? Time will tell….**


	34. Reunion

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 34 – Reunion**

**No One's POV**

Hearing Barbie's playful shout as she drove off, Tori and Jade gave each other an embarrassed look, then headed upstairs.

"Well it worked. I hope that Annie is ok." Said Tori as they walked in the apartment.

Jade dropped her bag and exhausted, fell onto the couch, "I'm sure she'll be fine."

"I'm just amazed what Barbie was able to accomplish in that time."

Jade chuckled. "She is not a woman to be underestimated."

Sitting down next to Jade, Tori smiled. "Neither are you"

"Thanks. You're pretty sharp yourself. That bit in the apartment with Beck, when you tricked him, acted all beaten, I never realized you were acting. It was a brilliant performance."

"From you, that is praise indeed. I want to compliment you on the plan, you and Barbie came up with it, I just approved it. It worked. Hopefully in a day or so, we can talk to Cat again and put this behind us. Thank you for getting Cat back."

"I still want to take down Reverend Mike, he's still sucking people in."

Tori sighed. "We'll talk about that later. You just worry about getting better yourself. I'm just glad we're good now. I think I'll end it on that note. It's after 11, I'm tired and I'm sure you are as well."

Jade leaned back and after seeming to think for a moment, smirked. "I guess we'll just have to tell Barbie we were too tired to fuck."

Tori instead of answering, took a few moments to tenderly look Jade in the eye. It was a look that in an instant caused her heart to race. Then with a smile she gently kissed Jade on the cheek.

"Goodnight Jade."

"Night Vega."

The next day was Monday and each had a full day at work, Tori at the Bank and Jade at the hospital. Each was tempted to call Andrea the deprogrammer to find out how it was going, but she had told them it would be best if they allowed her to work.

However in the late afternoon she sent both of them an email saying that things were progressing nicely. That evening, both of them just stayed in and watched TV together, as they were still worn out from the events of the previous day.

It was a few days later, Thursday, as Tori was coming home she got the good news in an email from Andrea. Cat had been officially deprogrammed and has since talked with her parents.

Eager to pick up and see her friend, again she rushed home so she and Jade could see her.

"Jade, Cat's deprogrammed; lets' go and see her." The excited Latina said as she burst in the door.

Jade made and odd smirk and shook her head. "Too late, just got an email from Barbie, she already picked Cat up and is taking her out for a night of fun and shopping. She says Cat is eager to see us again but at the same time, is very apprehensive about it. She actually asked me to give her a few days get Cat acclimated to normal life again. She was very closed off for a while and though it would be better if she did it instead of us. Less emotional baggage."

Tori instantly frowned. "Where in the hell is she going to stay? So Barbie just swooped in and stole Cat from under us."

"No, when Andrea texted me, that Cat was done, I told Barbie, who then called Cat as she promised she would and Cat asked Barbie to pick her up. She's crashing on Barbie's couch for a few days. Barbie said she has the weekend off from The Playpen, so she'll have lots of time to spend with Cat."

With a pout, Tori sat on the couch. "I wanted to pick her up."

"It's probably better anyway. They seemed to have bonded and maybe Barbie's in a better position to help her adjust and deal. I'd imagine Cat's shouldering a lot of guilt and shame."

"I was so excited to pick her up…now what do I do."

"Well it looks like you're stuck with me for the evening. I know the thought of it is sheer torture, but I guess you'll just have to grin and bear it. Get cleaned up we're going out." Jade said with a rather flippant tone.

"And where are we going?"

"Less talking and more getting cleaned up. God do you ever shut up, Vega."

"My someone's in a good mood today. I'll bet your in such a good mood, you're going to be extra mean to our waiter or waitress. I can tell you're getting better as you have been getting a lot meaner to other people lately."

"You know me so well."

With a laugh, Tori went to change and get cleaned up. Ever since Sunday where they had worked out things between them and Cat had been rescued, Jade had been a lot more her old self. Now of course Tori knew full well that Jade could be simply acting, but sensed that Jade was certainly getting better. That was good news to Tori as it meant they could move on to starting to date again.

Tori got cleaned up and Jade took her out for a rather nice dinner at a Steakhouse and afterward, took her to a small art theatre which was showing the 1978 movie Grease.

Tori had a wonderful time and Jade, while her normal snarky and sometimes insulting self, otherwise treated Tori like a queen and seemed to greatly enjoy it as well. Though she noticed that Jade never tried to hold her hand or kiss her, which actually took the pressure off.

As they walked home from the subway, Tori looked over to Jade.

"Thank you for a nice evening. It was very….."

"Datelike?"

With a raised eyebrow, Tori gave Jade a rather curious look. "Yes. I guess, why is my next question."

"Well first, I thought we should celebrate our success in not getting busted by either the cult members or the cops. That I'm feeling better and just wanted something a bit different than what we normally do."

"So a quasi-date. Does that mean you expect a quasi-kiss at the end of it?"

"I'll take what I can get. But I should have told you what I had in mind. For that I'm sorry."

"Jade, you know, I'm sure you'll make some girl very happy someday."

"Will I? You do realize that half the time, I'm a basket case and the other half, I'm usually just a bitch. That is liable to scare anyone off."

"Not everyone." Quipped Tori with a sly grin.

Though things were going well, there was a still a few pieces of unfinished business. First was the reunion with Cat, which made Tori rather nervous and she knew that Jade still wanted to brink Reverend Mike down. While she detested the man, she had little stomach for revenge. She secretly hoped Jade would drop it, once Cat was back to her old self.

The next few nights, Tori worked at the Playpen and Jade began to devote herself to digging up what she could about Reverend Mike.

Late Sunday morning, Barbie texted and say Cat wanted to meet them for lunch at a sports bar near times square at 12:30. Eager to see their friend again they readied and headed out.

"I'm nervous Jade." Tori said as she pulled open the door of the bar.

"Relax"

Entering the bar, they found Barbie waiting for them just inside.

"Tori, Jade, glad for you to come. Cat's very anxious to see you again."

Tori spoke first. "Barbie, you've been with her the last few days, how is she?"

"I didn't know her before this, but she seems to be coming around. She feels very embarrassed and rather badly about how she treated you."

"So, how have you two been getting along?" Asked Jade.

"Great. I've taken her shopping and we've done some things. Oh, here she comes now.

When they had seen her last she had brown hair and a rather long conservative dress. But as she came around the corner, she looked very much like her old self, with Red hair and very colorful pink dress.

Tori stepped forward and smiled at Cat who smiled back, but it was smile tinged with sadness.

"Hello Cat."

For a moment the red haired girl looked at a total loss for words and after a moment seemed to just start to cry.

"I'm sorry Tori. I was horrible to you, I'm sorry."

Which then prompted Tori to break into tears, who then ran and hugged Cat. The pair hugged, cried and tearfully told each other how much they missed the other.

All of this prompted Jade to roll her eyes and say acidly. "Oh great, here comes the waterworks."

And that prompted Barbie to smack Jade on the shoulder. "Quiet, we're having a tearful reunion here."

"Don't touch me, only Tori can touch me." Snapped Jade in return.

"Ooooohhh…I'm sorry for forgetting only your precious girlfriend can touch you." Retorted Barbie sarcastically.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Bellowed Jade instantly.

Abruptly, Tori and Cat who were still hugging and crying stopped and gave Jade a rather curious look.

Barbie merely laughed. "You are so not getting any tonight. I could totally have her tonight then."

After shooting Barbie a hateful glare, Jade quickly and sheepishly approached Tori and Cat. "Sorry, she was…."

"Jade!" Cat then ran hug Jade only to have the Goth to back away in fear.

"Please don't touch me."

"I'm sorry Jade. Barbie told me about Beck. I'm so very sorry. I'm also sorry what I said to you on the phone."

Jade nodded and cautiously shook Cat's hand. "Apology accepted. It that creep out of your head."

With a cringe, Cat shook her head. "No, but I know what he really is now. He's mean. He lied, he used me."

Jade nodded her head rather somberly. "I know exactly how you feel, exactly. Welcome back Cat."

"Thanks Jade."

Only then did Jade turn the irritated looking Tori. "Sorry. That just came out."

After narrowing her eyes for a moment, Tori punched Jade in the arm. "I understand and I promise not to hold it against you…for long…."

After a few more moments of the reunion the group got a table and started to catch up. Once again Cat profusely apologized for being a total gank.

"I was just saying things, half the time I didn't really know what they meant. He and his wife they hate everyone. Everyone that doesn't listen to him."

"So Cat have you spoken to your parents and Brother?" Asked Tori.

"Yes, I'm going to visit them real soon. They were just happy to hear from me again."

Barbie who was sitting next to Cat, nudged her. "Tell them your plans."

"I've decided not to go back to that college. I just can't be there anymore. I'm coming here to New York. Barbie has helped me find a place to stay for a while and even is going to see about me getting a job. She's been a super friend. We've had a great time together."

Tori looked rather surprised. "Barbie, where is she going to stay?"

"A good friend of mine, Emma. Her roommate just moved out and I told her I had a friend needing a place to stay."

Jade grunted in displeasure. "Wow! Three days in the city and she's gotten real bed already. I'm still sleeping on a couch."

The group kept talking and while Cat seemed much like her old self, she at the same time there was a lingering sadness. It was more than understandable. Though Cat was able to give some good news and say that she heard from her roommate at college Annie and her family helped her break the old that Reverend Mike had over her. She is with family and plans to attend a university in her home town."

Finally, Jade in a rather animated fashion said. "Cat, now that you're free of him, we need to take this creep, Reverend Mike down, once and for all."

"That won't be easy." Cat responded, a worried expression appearing on her face. "Some of them are quite dedicated to him."

Tori also looked worried. "Jade, we have Cat back, do we really need to do this?"

"YES TORI! WE DO!"

Barbie then interjected. "Ok, Jade you're miss research. What did you dig up on him?"

"Almost nothing. His name is Reverend Mike Hammond, he's 44, his wife calls herself Sister Alison and they are from Oregon. He seems to shun the internet completely."

"He says it's evil and we should not use it."

Jade looked back to Cat. "Can you tell us about him? I need something I can use to bring him down."

"I'd rather not speak of him, but I can tell you one thing."

"What's that?"

"Well, Barbie told me her real name is Maureen. I think his name isn't really Mike."

That got the attention of Barbie, Tori and Jade.

Tori leaned across the table. "How?"

"I had gone to the camp they own a few times and once, there was a really bad storm, with lots of wind. We were inside the main building and the wind got so bad the shutters started to come off. Sister Alison must have not liked storms as she got very upset. Rev Mike had gone to get some flashlights in case the power went out. A few moments later there was a bang as lightning had struck the tree next to the front door. Well Sister Alison, suddenly called out really loud. "GRANT!" The next thing, he comes running to see what she wants. He must have noticed our puzzled looks and he told us, Grant was his middle name, but I don't know. Everyone else believed them of course."

Barbie tilted her head and took appeared to think for a moment. "This is very suspicious. I'll bet Mike's an alias. Hey Tori, your dad is a cop. Maybe you could have him look into it."

Tori very quickly shook her head. "No…No…No….I'll have to tell my dad, I staged a kidnapping. He'll fly out here and tan my hide. No thanks."

Cat spoke up again. "Reverend Mike is very careful. He has strong locks on all the doors and at both the camp and the church on campus, where they live, they have alarms. It went off once and was very loud."

Jade scratched her head. "He has locks on all the doors?"

"All the doors. But some are unlocked as we use the rooms a lot, the meeting rooms, the kitchen the worship hall. Some rooms are always locked, I only saw in one of those once, about 2 months ago. I was in the basement looking for some extra Bibles and noticed someone left the door the door which was always locked, slightly ajar. Seeing it was open, I looked inside. I was afraid of what Rev Mike would say, so I looked, shut the door and never told anyone."

"What was in this room?" Asked Tori.

Cat shrugged. "Just boxes of sports and game equipment for someone. I think he's holding it for them. No big deal."

Barbie then put her hand on Cat's shoulder. "And this room is always locked, except for that one time, when the door wasn't shut all the way?"

"Yes, always locked. I've never seen them go in it."

Interested in what could be in the room, Jade kept questioning. "What do these boxes look like? We're they cardboard."

"I couldn't find any bibles, there were only boxes. It was a huge room, almost as big as the worship hall. When the building was a factory, it must have been a place where they stored stuff, that is why Rev Mike was keeping the boxes there. But the boxes themselves, some were made of metal and some of wood."

That just didn't seem right to Jade. "Sports equipment in metal and wooden boxes. That doesn't sound right. How did you know they were sports equipment?"

"It was written on the side of each box."

"Like a label."

"No, it was painted on, like the stencils we used to do in art class at Hollywood Arts. I knew they were for someone as the boxes right inside the door were marked Claymore. I guessed that was the coaches name."

"How do you know the contained sports equipment?"

"Well the boxes just past that were all marked Javelin. I know they use those in the Olympics, because I watched them with my brother."

Barbie who had been drinking whisky on the rocks, quickly stopped and began to look somewhat pale. "Cat, who big were these boxes?'

Cat thought for a moment, "Each was made of metal and was about 3-4 feet long and about 1 foot wide. There were six of them."

Barbie who was looking increasingly nervous then asked.. "You mentioned game equipment, what kind of game equipment."

"I think it was for the Battleship game, I used to play it with my brother until he ate my ate my cruiser. Then mom and dad took it away. But some of them were marked C4. You know you call out the grid, like C4, You sank my battleship."

Barbie promptly slammed the rest of her whisky and quickly motioned for the waitress.

"Waitress, could you bring me another whisky, make it a double."

"Uhhhh….Cat….By chance were some of these boxes marked, let's say…M16 or M60."

After thinking for a second, Cat nodded with an innocent smile. "Yes, how did you know?"

Barbie put her head in her hands and groaned. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Cat and Tori looked at each other with confusion, not sure exactly what Barbie was so upset about.

"Barbie." Tori asked, with a concerned look. "What's wrong?"

Barbie lifted her head, just as the waitress delivered her whisky, which she slammed down in rapid fashion.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? My dad used to drag me and my siblings to open house day at the local army base every year. It was boring as hell, but once or twice I did pay attention to the demonstrations. Claymore is not a who, it's a what. We're talking about Claymore anti-personnel mines. Those Javelin's are not sports equipment, they're Javelin anti-tank rockets. Remember the C4 she mentioned, C4 plastic explosives. M16 and M60's are both types of fully automatic machine guns. Remember how Reverend Mike was anti-government; some of those types are extremely paranoid and violent. As in I have to stock weapons to eventually fight off the US government or the hordes after civilization falls. Well it seems the dear Reverend Mike is one of those types and has enough illegal, military grade weapons to blow up half the campus. And we were fucking with these people."

For a moment there was dead and rather shocked silence, as it all sunk in, which was broken by a gasp from Cat. "Oh dear, there are more rooms that are never unlocked at the camp. But those rooms are all underground. We're not supposed to ask about those."

Jade who had hoped to dig up dirt on Reverend Mike, soon realized she had dug up something much nastier than mere dirt. Her sole response was, "OH SHIT!"

Looking deadly serious, Barbie grabbed Tori's arm. "Tori, we're now in way over our heads. I know you didn't want to tell your dad about the kidnapping and all, but you need to call him NOW!"

In seconds Tori pulled out her phone and dialed her parents' home for what she expected to be, probably the most awkward conversation of her entire life.

"Oh hi Trina. Can I talk to dad, it's kind of important. "

"Yes, it's nice you're having a party so everyone can meet your new boyfriend. I kind of really need to talk to dad right now."

The others watched as Tori seemed to get just a bit frustrated. "No Trina I don't care right now if your boyfriend's a male model. I really need to speak with dad. It's urgent."

By now Tori was starting to get angry with her sister. "No Trina, I'm not being insensitive and stop calling Jade a demented, freeloading, soul sucking freak. I'm very happy, he's ultra-hot and was on the cover of GQ and actually loves you. Maybe then you'll finally be able to move out, but for now….PUT DAD ON!"

Tori then had to wait for a few moments before speaking again.

"Hi daddy I need to talk to you. It's very important.…..Uhh….not sure how to say this, but I think Jade, Barbie and I have just pissed off a shitload of heavily armed, doomsday cultists. What do we do?"


	35. Jade's on the case

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 35 - Jade's on the case**

**Here is a long one and I hope you enjoy.**

**No One's POV. **

"Hi daddy I need to talk to you. It's very important.…..Uhh….not sure how to say this, but I think Jade, Barbie and I have just pissed off a shitload of heavily armed, doomsday cultists. What do we do?"

Right after that, Tori put her phone on speaker and placed it on the table so the others could hear her father's response.

It was hysterical laughter.

Jade shook her head. "We are so going to die."

"I don't want to die." Replied Cat with a fearful look.

Barbie then put her arm around the red haired girl. "Don't worry Kitty Cat, I'll keep you safe."

Tori and Jade looked at each other and mouthed. "Kitty Cat?"

Before however they could inquire about that, David Vega stopped laughing. "That's real good Tori, is there anything else you need?"

"Dad. I'm not kidding, this is not a joke, the cultists are real and I imagine they are quite upset by what we did."

Hearing the fear creep into Tori's voice made Mr. Vega realize this was no joke. "Tori what are you talking about?"

"Well….Our friend Cat had gone to college in Boston and fell in with this…." And so Tori told the tale of Cat falling in with a religious cult run by Reverend Mike and how she was ultimately rescued. Before Tori could get to the weapons part, Mr. Vega exploded.

"YOU STAGED A KIDNAPPING AND TOOK A PERSON ACROSS STATE LINES, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FED'S COULD DO TO YOU…NOT TO MENTION…"

Mr. Vega continue to yell at Tori for committing a federal offence for the next two minutes, causing Tori to cry. Jade naturally put her arm around the Latina to comfort her.

"Daddy! I was helping Cat and I got permission from her parents."

David started to yell again but was swiftly and loudly cut off by Jade. "Mr. Vega, shut the fuck up. Ok, we broke a few federal laws, big friggen deal. Look these people are probably looking for us and they have a storehouse full of military weapons, including Javelin missiles, claymore mines and lord knows what. So what do we do!"

Hearing the words Javelin Missles and Claymore mines very quickly sobered up the police officer.

"You said they have weapons, military weapons?"

Tori wiped her tears and answered. "Yes, both in the church on campus and it seems at their camp. Cat saw dozens of boxes of machine guns, missiles, plastic explosives and lord knows what. It's all real and literally a block away from a college campus. "

Mr. Vega then proceeded to ask Cat a number of questions about the boxes and what was written on them. Having done a 3 year stint in the army out of high school, he was quite familiar with ammo boxes looked like. As Cat described them, Mr. Vega felt a creeping sense of horror as he realized that Cats descriptions were exactly what weapons containers were supposed to look like.

Now sounding deadly serious, he said. "Tori, where are you right now!"

"Were in a sports bar by Times square. It's called the 5th Quarter."

"Ok, stay where you are and don't leave. Just eat, drink and act normal. I need to call my Captain about this right now. I'll call you back. Everything will be alright. Goodbye."

The phone call ended and about a minute later she got a text from Trina.

_I have a party to show off my new hot boyfriend and you have to ruin it with a national emergency. Thanks. Oh yeah…be safe and if they shoot at you, use Jade as a shield._

Jade who had since overcome the initial shock of the situation, read the text and smirked. "She really doesn't like me doesn't she."

"She doesn't mean that, Jade."

"Yes she does. So since we're stuck here waiting to die, we might as well order. Anybody up for some buffalo wings? Let's go out and order extra spicy, shall we."

After a minute or two, Tori, Cat and Barbie recovered enough to at least try to resume the conversation. As Jade suggested the ordered buffalo wings and did what they were told; stay put.

About 25 minutes later, as they were about halfway through their order of buffalo wings, Tori's father called. Tori quickly answered and put it on speaker.

"Tori? Are you all there?"

"Yes Daddy, we're all here and fine. Did they believe you?"

"Yes and I hope your right, because my call put the Boston Police and the FBI into a near state of panic. Do know, if you're wrong I'll be writing parking tickets until I retire."

"No daddy, we're right. So what do we do?"

"Sit tight, the FBI wants to speak to you and is sending a car for you all. They'll be there in less than 15 minutes. Just stay cool and wait. Tori you could have gone to me first."

"Sorry daddy, I was worried that you wouldn't help. Jade was determined and I just had to take charge to make sure it went well.'

"Do you need me to stay on with you?"

"No, we'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"yes."

"Keep in touch Tori and call if you need anything."

Once David Vega hung up, Jade quipped. "You realize we're about to go to the local FBI office and admit to kidnapping. I hope none of you have anything planned the next 60 years."

Cat quickly squeaked in fear. "Dear lord Jesus, I don't want to go to jail."

Once again Barbie reassured her. "Don't worry Kitty Cat. You'll be fine, only us three will go to prison. You can stop by on visiting day."

Cat clapped her hands. "Oh goodie."

Exactly 12 minutes later 2 black FBI van's, with lights and sirens blazing came zooming up and stopped in in front of the sports bar. Then no less than 6 FBI agents came in and escorted them out and took them down to the local FBI headquarters.

There, the girls were ushed into an interrogation room with serious looking female FBI agent named Barnes and her partner, a male named Harrison who began to ask them questions. Looking at the mirror on the wall, she knew others would be watching.

Initially they asked about their backgrounds, what had happened, leading up to them coming to new York. Jade strongly suspected that while extremely concerned about the cult and the weapons, didn't fully believe them. In fact, Jade was certain that Barnes didn't believe them at all, as he looked visibly skeptical.

Jade, Cat and the others kept telling the story of Cat's involvement with the cult and eventual rescue. They also asked about the cult itself and Reverent Mike, aka grant. They stuck to their story and after a full hour had gotten the whole thing out.

By then there was a knock on the door and a moment later a FBI agent handed Barnes a folder.

Agent Barnes took out photos from the folder and placed them on the table. They looked like pictures of ammo boxes.

"Now Miss Valentine, did you see anything that looked like these?"

Cat then carefully looked at the pictures and started to point out various ones. With each one, Cat identified, Barnes would hold it up to the mirror so those could see it.

"I didn't look at each box, but…wait….I remember another box, I forgot about this one. It was pretty big. It was a different color; it was a blue metal case with red and green stripes on it. One the side it had something else marked on it. It said…..um….Yellow jacket. I thought it had something to do with bee's."

While Barnes and Harrison exchanged puzzled looks a urgent voice came over the loudspeaker. "Barnes, Harrison, I need to see you right now!"

After the FBI agents left the room, the girls exchanged puzzled looks, but otherwise could do nothing.

About 10 minutes later Barnes and Harrison returned with an older African American man who looked to be about 60.

The older man smiled and stepped forward. "Hello Ladies, I'm Assistant Director in Charge Ben Taylor and I'm in charge of the New York office. Pleased to meet you."

They all shook his hand and as they sat down, Jade spoke up. "If you're in here, I take it that the Yellow Jacket, Cat just mentioned is something of importance."

He nodded. "Quite correct. When we got the initial call from Officer Vega, we and the Boston Police were naturally very concerned. The Boston Police especially as they still have clear memories of the whole Boston Marathon incident. Now to be honest, some of us were skeptical of your claim, I have to include myself as one of them. "

"You believe us now though." Jade continued.

"Yes we do. What I'm about to tell you is not to leave this room. You won't be in trouble for kidnapping but if you saying I'm about to say, you will go to jail. The Yellow Jacket is a prototype anti-tank missile system; capable of taking out multiple vehicles at once. About 6 months ago, 4 prototype Yellow Jackets were being transported to our proving grounds in Arizona, to be tested. One of the trucks was hijacked and the prototype it was carrying was stolen. Miss Valentine has just described exactly, the case the stolen Yellow Jacket was in. Normally we'd start in investigation, get an undercover agent in the church and slowly build a case. But considering the amount of weapons Reverend Mike has procured and the fact he's in possession of the Yellow Jacket, we will be launching a raid on both the main church and the camp tonight. The pentagon wants the Yellow Jacket back and they want it back badly."

To Tori is sounded important, but one thing bugged her. "Just one prototype missile system and they want it back so badly? I can't imagine they have too many rounds for it."

Barbie quickly answered. "No, but as a prototype it would be worth a 10's of millions of dollars, to let's say the Chinese, the Russians or anyone else with the capability of making more. And that cash could buy any militia or terrorist group, enough conventional weapons to equip a small army. Am I right Director Taylor?"

"Precisely"

"So director Taylor, what's next?" Asked Jade.

"Cat mentioned that the cult has study group at 8:00 Pm Sunday's, which is today. It's 3:14 now, so we plan to raid them tonight during the study group when all are present."

Cat spoke up, looking a bit worried. "Most of them were brainwashed like me. They're good people, but they've just been mislead."

"Don't worry, we'll get everyone help. In the meantime, until we've launched our raid and got the situation under control, we're going to keep you here for your safety. You can wait in our main office, or if you like, we have a small employee's lounge and cafeteria downstairs. The food's crap but it is eatable. If we have any more questions, we'll let you know. But I must ask, do not try to leave and tell no one you are here. Miss Vega, we'll keep your father updated."

None of them liked it, Jade in particular, but they also knew they had no choice in the matter. So resigned to their fate, the wandered into the main office area and sat down in the adjoining lounge. It had a TV, some couches and a small kitchenette.

After about a half an hour Agent Barnes came up. "We've identified Reverend Mike."

"Who is he?" Asked Cat.

"Using the information Miss Valentine gave us, we identified him as Grant Meers. He's former a former member of a anti-government, white supremacist, militia group. He's also a convicted bank robber who apparently had a religious conversion in prison, but not the good kind. He started telling the other inmates god spoke directly to him, started his own little church there. He was released early from Prison about 9 years ago. Shortly after prison, he was suspected of taken part in an armored Car robbery that netted almost quarter of a million dollars. The other 2 suspects in the robbery were killed in a shootout with police. Meers was suspected of being the getaway driver, but he vanished and the money was never recovered. We think he used the money to buy a new identity and the church and the camp. He's probably been using his old militia contacts to either buy or sell the weaponry using the church as cover. The cult itself had done a great job of keeping a low profile. Other than a few complaints from parents saying they children stopped communicating, they stayed off the police radar. His wife, whose name is really Casey Sturm, is wanted in at least 2 states for check fraud and larceny."

Jade shook her head. "Like Beck, like Ace Decade, just a man wearing a mask. You rip it off and see the ugliness below."

The other girls nodded in agreement.

"Look Vega, I'm sorry I dragged you into this. I should have thought this out. I put you in danger, once again. Hurting you is the last thing I would ever want."

Tori then took Jade's hand and squeezed it briefly before letting go. "Jade I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. I knew there was a risk and I went through with it. I wanted my friend back too. We're in this together and together we will come through it. I won't leave you."

"Sounds like a promise."

"It is."

Jade smiled in return and returned to watching the TV in the lounge. Tori and Jade continued to watch a home improvement reality show while, Barbie and Cat sat on another couch and whispered to each other.

After an hour and a half, Tori got up and said. "I'm hungry, anyone want to join me at the FBI cafeteria."

Cat bound up from the couch, "I'll go. What about you Barbie?"

The blonde shook her head. "No thanks. I'm remaining parked on the couch."

"Jade?"

"No."

Tori and Cat then headed out towards the cafeteria, leaving only Jade and Barbie in the lounge. After a few more minutes, Jade had had enough of reality TV and wandered into the main office area. Barbie just kept watching.

Bored, Jade wanted through the office which at present was only half full. The people who were there, were all assembled around a large bulletin board at one end of the office. From what jade could see, it appeared to be some sort of briefing on the cult that Director Taylor was giving to the other agents.

"I wonder what It'd be like to work here." Jade thought as she sat at one of the desks, noting immediately the chair was very uncomfortable.

"Agent Jade West, FBI. I does have a nice ring to it." Jade said with a slight chuckle.

It was then, Jade spotted a stack of what appeared to be case files sitting in front of her. That caught Jade's attention, as case files meant crime scene photos Jade collected crime scene photos as it greatly appealed to her morbid nature.

Looking up, Jade could see all the other agents were distracted, so she pulled a case file off the stack. Flipping it open she could see it was a murder case. The victim was a 32 year old woman named Chelsea McNamara. Before her death, she worked as an accountant for the justice department, investigating the finances of the Russian mob. Someone apparently broke into her home and stabbed her to death, 8 months ago. According to the case file, the FBI has suspected the Russian Mob had her killed as a result of her work.

Jade paged through the notes and finally got to the crime scene photos. With her great interest she looked carefully at the pictures one by one, until something caught her eye.

"No fucking way!"

A few minutes later an irritated looking FBI agent with brown hair came up. "Um excuse me Miss West, I'm agent Goss and that's a confidential case file. Would you please put that back and return to the lounge. That's an important case and I can't have you screwing up the case file."

Jade huffed, slammed the case file shut and got up. "Fine, then I won't tell you who murdered Chelsea McNamara."

Agent Goss loudly scoffed, attracting the attention of several other agents who happened to be nearby. "You solved a case we've been working on for 8 months in 10 minutes."

Jade with a smirk, Jade walked over to Agent Goss. "Yes I did, fuckwit. You and your idiot partner have been shaking down every Russian mobster from here to Pittsburg, for the last 8 months, hoping to get a lead on who had her killed, In reality, the killer's been right under your nose, the whole fucking time."

Agent Goss, who had been since joined by his partner Agent Schneider along with several others, were all eyeing Jade with great distain.

"Ok, Miss detective, please enlighten us." Sneered Agent Goss.

Jade looked up at the assembled agents. "Now pay attention children, I'm only going to say this once. Russian mobsters do kill people, but it's a safe bet they don't stab people to death with scissors. Especially left handed ones."

Agent Goss, laughed mockingly. "Scissors? You must be joking."

After shooting Agent Goss the evil eye, Jade continued. "I'm a scissor expert, having been nearly obsessed with them since I was five. I also love all things horror and collect crime scene photos, so I'm an amateur expert in murder. Miss McNamara was not stabbed to death with a knife, but with a pair of scissors. According to my opinion, by the size and shape of the wounds, a pair of 10" fabric shears to be exact. Now I can see in these other photos, that the victim was big into sewing and belonged to a sewing club. You can see her machine and other sewing things in the room where she was found."

An agent in back then spoke up. "So the Russian mob hit man used a pair of scissors she owned. There were, several in her sewing area. "

"The victim did own scissors, but she was right handed. She however, was killed using a left handed scissors." Jade then held up one of the photos. "Now this is a picture of the Victim and her friends in her sewing club. In this picture, they are all at their sewing machines. There are 7 women in the club, 5 of them are old women who wouldn't have the strength to shove the blade in as deep or as often as it was. She was stabbed 12 times. But if you look at the one other member of the club who isn't young, her name is Kristin Weisenberg and she's the same age as the victim. If you pay attention to the group photo, Kristin is the only person who has her sewing materials on the left of her sewing machine. All the others have their materials on the right. Thus Kristin is left handed and almost certainly owns a pair of left handed fabric shears.

Jade then, who was enjoying putting Agent Goss to shame, gleefully held up the case notes. "The case notes state that Kristin was the victims best friend. It also says Kristin is married. The Victim was not. Now you can see Kristin is a larger woman, pushing 200 pounds and to be blunt, rather ugly. The Victim was very pretty and rather thin. You'll notice that in the photo's of the funeral, Kristin's husband looks especially distraught, but not as much as Kristin. I'm an actress and I can tell just by looking, that she's over acting. So, the victim was sleeping with Kristin's husband. Kristin found out, then in a fit of rage grabbed a pair of her scissors, went over to Chelsea McNamara's house and stabbed her to death. Then she made it look like a break in and you dum's dum's assumed it was a mob hit. This was a crime of passion, the Russian Mob had nothing to do with it. I'm sure the second you stick the cuff's on Kristin Weisenberg, she'll confess. Any questions?"

There was a moment of shocked silence, followed by applause from all the agents present, save Agent Goss and his partner. They in fact looked rather humiliated.

One of the other agents looked to Goss and his partner with scorn. "Nice one Goss, you and your partner have been spending 8 months on a case, this girl cracks in 10 minutes. "

Agent Goss, who appeared to be turning pale, looked to his partner. "Let's go and arrest Kristin Weisenberg."

As Goss and Schneider slunk away, one of the other agents exchanged nod's with his partner. He then stepped up and shook Jade's hand.

"Hi, I'm agent Paulson, and this is my partner, Agent Cumberland. Thanks for knocking Goss and Schneider down a couple of pegs, they're both assholes. I see you like to look at crime scene photos. We have others, for other unsolved cases, would you like to see them? Unofficially of course."

Jade lit up like a child on Christmas. "Would I!"

A little while later Cat and Tori came back up and re-entered they spotted Jade at a desk with 2 other FBI agents. They seemed to be going over something with great interest.

Puzzled, Tori walked up. "Jade what's going on?"

Agent Cumberland stepped forward, "You'll have to step back Miss Vega, we're working an important case."

At this point Jade said to the agents. "Ok, the killer is a white male who seems to know this predominantly black neighborhood like the back of his hand, yet no one recalls seeing him anywhere in the neighborhood at all. How is that?"

Not like being brushed off, not to mention horribly confused, Tori put her hands on her hips. "JADE WHAT IS GOING ON!"

"Sorry Vega, this scumbag has already strangled 3 women to death in Atlantic City. I've got to stop this serial killer before he strikes again. I'll be along later." Jade said in a serious matter of fact tone of voice.

Jade then turned to the FBI agents. "How could a white guy know the neighborhood so well, yet no one ever recalls seeing him. It's a city worker. It can't be a cop, as they get noticed. But what kind of city worker rarely gets paid attention to….A garbage man. And they know the neighborhoods they work, very well. I'll bet the killer is a garbage man who regularly works that neighborhood and has an extensive police record. "

Agent Paulson nodded. "Damn right, I'll run the city workers and see what pops up."

Both dumfounded, Tori and Cat just wandered back into the lounge where Barbie was waiting.

"Barbie, I took Cat to the cafeteria and half an hour later, I come back and Jade's joined the FBI, am I right or have I just gone nuts."

"No, Jade just got bored and decided to solve some crimes. I could see it from here. She solved the first one in like 10 minutes. She totally made the one asshole FBI agent look like a fool. She's apparently an expert on all things scissor and murderer related."

Half in a daze, Tori nodded and sat down. "Of course she is. First she brings down a record producer, then a cult, now she's after a serial killer. What's next?"

Sitting there, Tori tied to make sense of the fact that Jade had now seemingly joined the FBI and was now solving crimes. However it didn't make much sense at all. It had already been a strange day, but now it was getting downright surreal.

An hour and half later, a pouting Jade returned to the lounge and sat down.

"What's wrong Jade?" Asked Tori.

"One of the supervising agents made me stop. Something about not being official FBI agent and I wasn't supposed to do that. Plus what I was doing was technically evidence tampering, though in my defense, I never opened any of the evidence bags. They're just jealous because I was making them look bad. I was right about Kristin Weisenberg, the second they arrested her, she confessed. I nearly had that Gaianelli case figured out until they stopped me, something about the way her neck was slashed was odd. That's really going to bug me now."

Tori simply could not believe what she was hearing. "How many did you solve?"

Jade shrugged. "I don't know, The McNamara murder case, the Atlantic City Strangler and a couple of others, though one doesn't really count as it was only a stolen Picasso. I helped them figure out where the thief hid it. Nobody even got killed there. Total waste of my time."

Strange or not, Tori knew Jade stopped some serious bad guys. So smiled, hugged Jade and gave her a kiss. "My hero. Fighting crime, kicking ass and taking names."

Oddly, it was Tori's praise that lifted her spirits right back up as Tori's praise was the only one that really mattered. "Thank you."

Nothing else do to, they sat and waited. Finally 8:00 rolled around and the girls were told that agents were now swarming both the Camp and the church.

Thankfully it was all over in minutes, with not a single shot fired. Reverend Mike, his wife were quickly apprehended and placed under arrest. All the other cult members were taken into custody for deprogramming and a large supply of military weapons, including the Yellow Jacket were recovered.

Once that was done, the 4 girls were quickly debriefed, told never to mention the Yellow Jacket again and driven home.

Once at home, Tori and Jade who were tired from their long and strange day collapsed on the couch.

"Ok, Jade you destroyed the Evil record producer, got my career back, rescued Cat, brought down the cult and fixed my life. Not to mention solving several murders and helping to recovering a stolen Picasso, which I still don't get. So unless you want to find my Siamese Cat, Pepper, who ran away when I was 7, you're out of things in my life to fix. I guess you'll have to keep working on fixing yourself."

Jade put her hand to her chin. "So where was pepper last seen?"

Tori then laughed and punched Jade in the shoulder. "Stop that!"

Taking a chance, Jade took Tori's hand. "I'd do anything for you. I owe you everything."

"Jade are you afraid we won't be together? I get that feeling sometimes."

The Goth silently nodded.

"Jade, you and I have a bond that goes beyond friendship. I feel it growing every day. I know the future is uncertain, but I know, I know for a fact, that our bond will keep growing and will bring us closer and closer. I have faith in that bond, I have faith in us. You're impatient and a bit scared, I'm too, but when the moment comes to take the next step, we'll both know it. It's coming, I promise."

"Sorry if my faith falters at time, I've been burned and it's hard for me to let go."

Tori got up, continuing to hold Jade's hand. "I know, but whenever you falter, I will be there to catch you. I promise."

"Can you guarantee I'd do the same?"

Tori smiled and after letting go of Jade's hand, gently caressed her check. "I know you'd do the same, or at least do your best to try and that's all that matters. Good night Jade."

**Well, the cult is out of business, Tori and Jade have sort of confirmed they will always be together and Jade out of sheer boredom, solved a bunch of crimes. Something she found out she has a knack for.**


	36. My Battlefield

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 36 – My Battlefield**

**Tori's POV.**

The day after our experience at the FBI headquarters, I had work and Jade didn't. Upon coming home I found Jade watching The TV. Without looking she pointed to a copy of the newspaper sitting on the arm of the couch. We didn't get the paper, so its presence her was unusual.

"Vega, check out the paper."

I picked up the paper and on the front page, four of the headlines had been circled.

1) An FBI raid on a religious cult that netted a huge hall of illegal military weapons and the arrest of its head.

2) A garbage man in Atlantic City had been arrested in connected with a number of recent stranglings.

3) Ace Records, the record company of now deceased and disgraced record producer Ace Decade, was expected to file for bankruptcy as a result of a massive scandal involving the skimming of the royalties of its artists.

4) A Dental technician named Kristin Wesisenberg has been arrested and confessed to the murder of Justice Department employee Chelsea McNamara.

I was blown away; as it dawned on me that Jade and I were responsible for each of those headlines.

"My God Jade, this is all us."

Jade laughed, yet her eyes remained on the South Korean horror film that was playing. "No it wasn't. Do you see our names anywhere on that page? The closest we come is the information for the cult raid came from unnamed sources. We're the unnamed sources."

Disappointed I saw down next to Jade. "That stinks!"

It was then Jade looked to me with a half-smile. "Actually, no. I was mad at first when I got the paper this morning, but after writing about it in my journal I realized, it was actually a blessing."

I wasn't sure what Jade was driving at. "How?"

"We're free Tori. You're free of Ace Decade and his corrupt record company, Cat is back, the cult is gone and actually helped put some other bad buys behind bars. We did do it; we helped some people out and stopped some bad guys. But there's no notoriety, no press, no requests for statements or interviews, no one wanting our story, we remain 2 nobodies. We can do what we want. We can still be famous of course, but on our terms and we won't be connected to any of this ugliness."

"That's actually a very optimistic way of looking at it. I'm…"

"Surprised. We'll maybe a bit of you has brushed off on me."

It was a nice thought and I liked that Jade was thinking that way, but one thing worried me. "Are you free of Beck?"

Jade scrunched her face for a moment. "No. Some things just stay with you, become part of you. I was reading a book about post-traumatic stress disorder, which I am dealing with. I read about a British WWI solider who was one of the very last ones left, he died 5-10 years ago maybe. This was 18 when we on the battlefield and he was having flashbacks into his 90's. That battlefield stayed with him long after the guns went silent. When I first started, I really thought I could put this totally behind me, erase him from my life."

Jade paused for a moment and just put her hand on mine. "I know I can't. Like that solider, my battlefield will remain a part of me. Its piece of you that's alien and unwanted, but you can't get rid of it. So that leaves you two choices. First you can let it destroy you, or your relationships or your life. The second choice is to learn to live with that part of you. I think by learning to live with it, accept it, you take away most, but not all its power."

Someday I wanted to make her pain go away so badly. "I wish you could be totally free of it. If there was anything I could do….you know I would."

Letting some emotion creep into her voice, Jade looked me in the eye. "Tori you've gone above and beyond pulling me from the hole that I was in. Yes I know you made mistakes and let your feelings interfere with your judgment. I made mistakes too and that simply means were both human. So don't beat yourself up over it. But when it comes down to it, you saved me. Thank you."

It was a very tender moment and I sensed that Jade was really putting forth effort to be so open and honest with me. She was really trying and that showed me her commitment to bringing us back together.

"Jade, you're very special."

"You know we're not even dating yet and a lot of days I simply don't feel like I deserve you."

That I didn't want to hear at all, so I took both my hands and placed them on either side of her face so she was looking directly at me.

"Jade, NEVER say that! It's not about who deserves who Jade, It's who wants to be with who and I want to be with you. I'm not going to bother to list off the things that I think make you special, just know that I want to be with you. Got it!"

Jade smiled again. "Got it."

I let go of her and stood up. "Have faith in us Jade. Have faith and we will be together."

I had taken 3 steps when Jade announced. "I got a call from the FBI today."

I stopped and turned. "What for?"

"Someone was impressed with my work and I was offered an internship."

"My God, that's great, are you taking it?'

"Like this thing with being free, I gave it a lot of thought today and decided against it. I had some fun and probably got really lucky. I happened to spot a few things they didn't. It could be a fun job and challenging Job, but I'm just not sure of that. That would require a drastic change to my career plans and unless I'm 100% sure I'm just not sure it's a good thing. I know 100% I love acting and writing and that's something I want to do. I would have to follow all these rules too and I'm more of a, me person and not much of a we person. I suspect there'd be problems down the road cause of that."

Her reasoning was sound and though I thought it would be great for Jade, I accepted her choice. "You appear to have thought that out. It's understandable."

"That and it's unpaid, plus most of the duties would be lowly file shuffling, running errands and making coffee. If I'm doing lowly grunt work, they'll pay me, so fuck that!"

Over the next couple of weeks, the dust finally settled on the whole Cult thing. Reverend Mike or Grant Meeks was charged with a whole boatload of charges including fraud, armed robbery and weapons charges. If convicted on all charges, he'll get about 550 years in prison. His followers were given counseling and slowly adjusted back to reality.

Cat decided to stay in New York and attend college here part time at NYU. She with our help, moved out of her Boston apartment and moved in with a girl named Emma, who's a friend of Barbie's. Emma works the computer help desk of some insurance firm and is rather nice.

Barbie even helped Cat get a job at the health club she works at during the daytime. The owner set up a new childrens' area, so people who want to work out can bring in their children and have them supervised while they work out. Cat watches the children during the daytime. Cat who's been through a lot with the cult said she really looked forward to working with children.

Speaking of Barbie and Cat, the pair who are now best friends, spend tons of time together. Barbie has even hinted that they've become even closer and she's helping Cat explore some new sides of herself. Time will tell.

Jade in these few weeks has actually been rather silent. Not silent as in an anti-social way, but more of an introspective way. She's been writing a lot in her journal, working out and attending therapy. I've been sitting with her at night watching TV, we make dinner together and I can tell she enjoys being with me, she's just not been very talkative lately. But through the silence, we've grown more and more comfortable with each other. It's as if the words aren't really needed. We were free of a lot of things and it did seem to clear the air.

Though in the last week, that's begun to change. It's November now and it is getting colder, but she's been inviting me to talk walks with her nearly every night. I've also noticed when we watch TV together she's been inching ever closer to me. She's been doing more things for me, like having dinner ready when I get home a few days, doing my chores, etc.

I've begun to strongly get the feeling that she's ready to move on to dating or at least wants to. I really want to start dating her too. She's been working really hard on herself and I've felt maybe it's time too. It's like an energy that's been building between us. Let's see how Jade plays it.

It was a Thursday night, and I had come home to find Jade coming from work out of the bathroom.

She stopped and smiled. "Do you notice anything?"

Much to my pleasant surprise, I did. "You're hair you changed it from black to your natural brown and you've added streaks of pink and blue."

She has had solid black hair for a long time and this is a refreshing change.

Looking just a bit nervous she walked up to me. "Do you like it?"

I couldn't help but smile. "It's beautiful. It's like how you used to wear it when we first met."

"I know, you said once you preferred my hair that way. I changed my hair for you."

"Jade you didn't have to do that?"

Jade shrugged and examined the a strand of hair from the pink streak. "I wanted a change and I knew it would please you."

I could see it in her eyes, she really wanted to move on. Honestly I wasn't sure if she was ready but at that moment I didn't care. Feeling the moment as seemed to build I took her hands.

"You did and you've been trying to please me a lot lately. Some of those gesture were sort of romantic." I said with a sly grin.

Jade nodded to the left, "Like that."

I looked to what Jade was motioning too. It was dozen roses in a vase on an end table.

"Like you they're beautiful."

"Vega, I prefer to call you Vega. I hope I'm not setting myself up, but I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me tonight. I have dinner reservations at 7:00 at a nice place nearby. Before you answer, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I'll tell you that I'm still not fully ready to live with my battlefield and it may be a while before I fully can, but I do feel like I'm ready to be with you. It's the only thing I want. Sorry if I'm not making much sense, but regardless, would you like to go out with me."

It was only then did I realize how nervous she actually was. Though I was holding her hands, she was trembling. I knew she was terrified, I say no or we'd have to wait longer. I think I was scared too. Perhaps I put off us starting to date because at least partially I was afraid.

Regardless, saying no never crossed my mind. Not for an instant. Jade was Jade and I wanted to be with her. I wasn't perfect either and she wanted to be with me.

With twinkle in my eye, I said. "Jade, I'd love too."

**You folks have been nice and very patient, so on to the Jori. I can't guarantee it will be smooth sailing but Tori and Jade have officially started to date. **


	37. A night to remember

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch**

**Chapter 37 – A night to remember**

**No One's POV**

Looking somewhat relieved, Jade took a deep breath and exhaled. "Great, get cleaned up and we'll go. I don't want to be late and you tend to be pokey in the bathroom when you're getting ready. I don't want to be late."

Tori briefly scrunched her face. "We're not dating more than 3 seconds and you already insult me."

Jade quickly scoffed. "That wasn't an insult, that was criticism."

After shaking her head, Tori playfully and gently slapped Jade on the cheek. "You're just lucky you're cute."

Jade shot back a rather dubious look. "Cute, just cute, not sexy or heart stopping gorgeous, or utterly stunning."

With a shrug Tori headed off to the bathroom to get cleaned up. "Sorry, you have to work your way up to Sexy. But to get to that, you have to go through, really cute, really really cute, kinda hot, hot and then only then do you get to sexy."

Jade put her hands on her hips, with a perplexed expression. "And who gets to be the judge of that?"

"Me!" Tori said, as she shut the bathroom door behind her.

Contrary to Jade's opinion, Tori got ready very quickly and in a short amount of time, were in a cab on their way to the restaurant.

"So Jade, sounds like you have the evening already planned out. May I ask what the evening entails."

"Fun." Said the Goth cryptically.

"Fun, hmmm. Your idea of fun, sometimes vastly differs from mine."

"You do have a point, when I stuck that Tarantula into your bag during lunch that one day and your subsequent screams of terror when you found it during Sikowitz's class the following hour, I found to be really fun." Jade then made a rather proud smile. "You ran screaming, all the way to the parking lot. So obviously, you didn't find that fun."

Tori's eyes instantly narrowed. "No, I did not. Especially when I tripped in the parking lot and ripped a brand new pair of pants and bruised my knee. I limped for 2 days after that."

"Vega, you really need to pay attention where your running, when flee in terror. I see that in my horror films all the time. But I digress. This will be an evening that I think won't be too painful."

Tori couldn't help but chuckle. "Not too painful, nice way to describe a date. Oh yeah before I forget, you still owe me for one pair of pants and a bag."

"I understand the pants as you ripped them, but why the bag? What did it do, lay eggs in it or something."

Looking briefly but very sad, Tori quipped. "YES IT DID. I loved that bag, it was purple and it went with nearly everything I had. "

"Oooops. You'll have fun tonight and there will be no ruined bags, I promise." Jade said with smile.

As the cab took them to the restaurant, Tori told Jade about some new music she had been writing. Minutes later, they pulled up in front of one of the cities more trendy and authentic Chinese restaurants.

"We'd been eating as Nozu so long, I figured we'd forgotten what real Chinese food tastes like. Not the pale imitation they served."

"Sounds good."

They were seated in short order and the lively conversation continued. Through all of it, each could detect an underlying nervousness in the other. They both knew they had come through a lot to get to this point and it appeared their troubles were behind them, but at the same time, both knew things could still go wrong.

They were soon seated and once they had ordered, the conversation began, in earnest.

"Vega, you work with Barbie, are her and Cat and Item?"

"You know you could always ask Cat that?"

"Because I want an answer that I can understand, now that she's been deprogrammed and is mostly back to her old self, she's making a lot less sense."

"You mean she's back to normal?" Tori said casually as she sipped her glass of wine.

"You haven't talked to her much then?"

"No, when she's not at work at the daycare at the health club, she's out with Barbie, doing this or that. I don't think I've had a conversation longer than 3 minutes."

Jade impatiently huffed. "We liberate Cat so Barbie can monopolize all her time, that stinks. So has Barbie told you anything?"

"She said that they've become fast friends and she is helping Cat explore unknown sides of herself, while she recovers from her terrible ordeal."

"Sounds like something a press agent for a crooked politician, would say." Jade snapped.

Tori gave Jade a stern and somewhat disappointed look. "What's got your panties in a bunch? If they're seeing each other we'll know in time. "

Jade closed her eyes and silently counted to 10 to calm down.

"Sorry. I'm nervous and my emotions tend to run away from me sometimes. It makes me worry."

"About?"

Jade sighed. "To be honest. Even before I was involved with, him, I wasn't all that pleasant a person. Now, you can add, PTSD and emotional instability to the mix. I wonder why you're even here with.."

Tori cut off Jade's rather sad sounding lament, quite sharply. "Stop that. Jade you're a strong woman and admittedly been through a lot, but I have faith in you. You've been working very hard at your recovery and I see you getting better every day. I have faith in us. That's why I said yes tonight. I'm no picnic either. If you have problems, issues talk to me, I'll listen, I'll always listen, but I hate that self-pity-bullshit. It's not you. It's actually kind of pathetic. The Jade I know and am attracted too isn't pathetic." Finally, Tori ranted in a brief fit of frustration. "I hate pathetic Jade. I get it, you're nervous, I'm nervous too, but just don't be pathetic."

It was then, Tori was aware that Jade was staring at her, looking somewhat shocked.

Suddenly feeling horribly embarrassed and somewhat bad, Tori shrunk in her seat. "Sorry, I was out of line. I never should have said that."

After taking a few moments to recover, Jade shook her head, "No. don't apologize. In all that you had a very good point. Me wallowing in self-pity doesn't help me or anyone else. Dr. Cortez has told me that before. I needed that."

"Good."

Jade then seemed to toughen up. "But don't think I won't let you have it when I feel like you're acting like a jerk."

Tori smiled, I wouldn't have it any other way."

After that the conversation seemed to flow much more smoothly and they both greatly enjoyed dinner and each other's company. By the amount of time they spent simply looking into each other's eyes, they both felt that for once, things were finally on the right track.

After dinner they headed to a karaoke bar not far from the restaurant, which was the next part of Jade's planned date.

"I'm so going to trash you Vega." Jade quipped as she held the door for her date.

Tori stopped and tilted her head. "That sounds like a challenge. Now that's the Jade I remember, confident to the point of arrogance. "

The bar was crowded and the girls picked songs they wanted to sign and signed up to sing. However the list to get on the stage was rather long so they grabbed a table, ordered some beers and decided to wait.

As before they talked and enjoyed each others company. After a short while, Jade even took Tori's hand. Tori began to feel a real sense of magic growing.

At least for a while.

Tori began to notice that something about the young man and woman at the table right next to them, seemed to catch Jade's attention. In fact it seemed to be increasingly bothering her.

Looking over at the couple herself, Tori could see that they were both about 22 years old, casually dressed and seemed to either college seniors or maybe just out of college. She was drinking soda and he appeared to be having whisky. He was well built with blonde hair, seemed a bit loud and obnoxious, but nothing else really stood out about the guy. The girl, had dark hair, was wearing an engagement ring and seemed a bit more reserved.

Thinking it was nothing, Tori tried to ignore it, but soon couldn't.

"Jade, what's wrong?" Tori said quietly.

Jade took a long drink of her beer and focused her attention on a drunk man in a business suit on stage, murdering Nirvana's "Smell's like Teen Spirit". "He's beating her."

"What? How do you know this?" Tori said, consciously keeping her voice down and her surprise concealed.

"She's wearing more make up on her left eye than the right, she has a large ugly wrist watch on her left hand which when she took it off, revealed bruises. Plus I spotted two more barely visible, just under the sleeve of her t-shirt. He's drinking one glass of whisky after another and with each glass, she looks more afraid."

"Are you sure?"

Jade nodded ever so slightly. "I've seen the look on her face before, when I used to look in the mirror. He's abusing her, I know it."

While Jade's evidence was compelling, Tori wasn't sure. She was tempted to get Jade out of there, but decided to just let it go and enjoy the evening. But as they waited their turn to sing, Tori kept an eye on the pair. She also noticed that Jade was covertly watching them, without fail.

A short while later, the girl went up and sang a rather dismal version of "California Girls." By Katy Perry. It was obviously that she simply could not sing and the guy looked rather embarrassed.

As the girl walked, back the guy sneered at her, somewhat angrily.

"Sara, I told you not to waste your time, you can't sing. Now you made me look like a loser."

"I'm sorry. I didn't meant to embarrass you." Said Sara, rather meekly.

Then Tori saw it plain as day, he then grabbed her tightly by the arm, causing the girl to cower in fear. "Next time I tell you not to bother, don't bother. I mean it. You can't sing, you suck and that's that."

Looking to Jade, Tori could see the Goth tense up, dramatically as she watched it. It was plain that Jade did not like what she was seeing one bit and that gave Tori a very bad feeling.

"I gotta piss. Order me another whisky." Bellowed the guy as he walked off.

"I hate this Tori! I hate this!" Said Jade through gritted teeth.

"Jade calm down." Tori said in hushed tones.

Jade however, looked like a volcano ready to explode and with each passing second Tori began to increasingly worry. After a few more moments of thought Tori, quickly decided to get Jade out of there. But before she could do anything, Jade got up and walked over to Sara.

"You deserve better than that!"

Tori groaned and slapped her forehead. "Oh crap."

The girl looked to Jade, with a puzzled and somewhat irritated expression. "Better than what?"

"That that ape you're dating, the one that gave you the bruise on your left eye that you're so badly trying to cover up with makeup, the same ape that gave you the bruises on your wrist. I'm sure there's more that I can't see. You deserve better than him."

Sara, looking very offended, glared at Jade. "It's none of your fucking business what my fiancé does. Now stop bothering me and leave me alone."

Jade instead stood her ground, looking fierce as ever. "You think he's going to stop. But he won't. He's going to beat you until one of three things happen. You die, he dies or you finally get the smarts to leave him. I've been there, you don't have to do this."

Tori got up and gently put her hand on Jade's shoulder. "Come on, let's go."

"FUCK YOU! He's good to me. He just gets a bit rough when he's drunk. You don't know him. Get fuck away from me."

Out of the corner of her eye, Tori spotted said guy walking up and he did not look happy. That bad feeling she had suddenly got much worse.

"What the fuck is going on?" Said the guy with a mean look.

Sara looked to her fiancé and then to Jade. "This woman is bothering me. Poking her nose where it's not wanted."

The guy stepped forward and pushed Jade back. "Leave her alone."

Jade smirked, "Oh I get it, you're worried that I'll beat her. Because only you can beat her up, isn't it." Jade then shoved him back. "This woman shoves back, pencil dick!"

Tori, who was standing directly behind Jade, watched with horror as the situation quickly spun out of control.

"I'll TEACH YOU. YOU BITCH!" The guy suddenly roared in fury. At the same time, he raised his fist to throw punch.

But Jade was quicker and before he connected, slammed her foot right into his groin.

His eyes, going wide with surprise, he quickly doubled over in pain, only to have Jade slam an upper cut into his face. The force of Jade's blow sent him flying backwards right towards a crowded table. With a loud crash he hit the table, sending, the table, chairs, patrons and glasses flying in different directions.

Looking down at him, Tori could see the guy, lying on his back, blood gushing from his, nose.

"SOME GIRLS HIT BACK, ASSHOLE!"

"Michael are you alright!" Screamed Sara, now in tears, as she ran to her fiancé's aid.

With the advent a fight, especially one between a man and a woman, chaos quickly broke out and people quickly started to move to see what was going on.

Jade however, felt someone grab her arm and hurriedly yank her out of the crowd and towards the door. In seconds they were out of the bar and as luck turned out, in a cab that happened to be just outside.

"Drive! Now!" Shouted Tori to the cab driver and seconds later they were off.

As they drove down the street, Tori gave the driver her address and looked to Jade.

"Jade…."

Looking mortified, Jade shook her head. "I'm so sorry….i just….."

Jade fully expected Tori to yell, scream or do something indicting she was furious. Instead she took Jade's hand.

"Just calm down, are you ok?"

Jade nodded.

"Jade, just stay quiet. We'll talk about this when we get home."

An uneasy silence, suddenly filled the cab as they finished their journey home. With each passing minute, Jade felt worse and worse for ruining the date.

By the time they got home, Jade was very depressed.

Upon entering the apartment Jade sat on the couch and put her head in her hands.

"Go ahead Tori, let me have it."

Instead the Latina sat next to Jade and put her arm around her.

"I'm not going to yell at you Jade. Yes, I'm a bit upset. Yes I think you handled it horribly. But I won't yell at you. "

"But I ruined our date. I wanted it to go so well." Said Jade as she shed a tear.

"Yes, it got ruined, but in a way, but I understand what happened?

Jade lifted her head and looked at Tori with confusion. "You do?"

"You saw a woman being abused and due to your own experience, couldn't stop yourself from reacting. Your wounds are still fresh. But not only did she get angry with you for trying to help, when you punched him, she ran to his aid. In fact you made him a martyr in sense. She feels sorry for him now."

"I just wanted to help her. I knew what she felt. Tori, honestly, I just wanted to help. I just got carried away. I failed."

"I know. But in a way, I'm glad this happened."

"What?"

"Maybe for the first time, you finally see it through my eyes. You want to help someone and you simply can't. Your attempts to help are rebuffed and met with anger. You get frustrated and angry. What you did to him, I've wanted do to Beck, more times than I can count. I nearly did on a couple of occasions. In fact her words of you don't know him….."

Realizing what Tori was getting at, Jade nodded. "Are almost the same thing, I once told you."

"You understand my frustration."

"But what can I do?"

Tori pulled Jade in closer. "Realize that sometimes you can't help and violence can backfire horribly. You need to control your anger and frustration. I had to. The one time I let it affect my judgment, I came to regret it. But if you truly want to help others that were in your situation, you can volunteer to help at the battered woman's shelter or man their phone line. They do accept volunteers. There are people out there who want help. Help them and hope like the girls like Sara, come to their senses. I hope this makes you a bit wiser."

Now looking somber, Jade realized that Tori was indeed right. Yet she still felt terribly. "You've got a very good point. But I am sorry, Tori. I'm sorry I ruined our date."

Tori smiled and gently kissed Jade on the lips. "One ruined date, will not wreck us. Thank you for dinner. I care about you Jade. I really do."

"I care about you too, Tori."

Tori then got up. "Our next date, which hopefully will not end with a bar room brawl, will be much better. Because I'm going to plan it. Just think about what happened. Think about what I said. Please. And let's keep the violence to a minimum next time.

"I will."

With a nod, Tori gave Jade one more kiss. "Good night and thanks for a wonderful evening."

"How could this evening possible be wonderful?"

Tori smiled and paused in the bathroom doorway. "Because I spent it with you."


	38. Whatever you do, don't mock Jori

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 38 – Whatever you do, don't mock Jori.**

**Tori's POV.**

Despite the disastrous way the date turned out, my enthusiasm for dating Jade was undiminished. I was upset, don't get me wrong, but I do understand why she did what she did. She wanted to help someone who, simply didn't want to be helped. It's a frustration I know all too well. That and Jade is a volatile person at times, that simply goes with the territory.

After bidding Jade goodnight, I got ready for bed and actually managed to fall asleep very quickly.

The following day was Friday, the one day of the week I worked both jobs. The next morning as usual, Jade didn't get up until I was already eating breakfast.

"Hey there." The Goth said as she poked her head in the kitchen.

For some reason, I love that very first view of her each day. Even with sleep in her eyes and her hair a mess, she still looks fabulous. For that reason I smiled. "Hey there yourself."

Jade stepped into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee I made. Studying her, I could tell she looked just a bit apprehensive about something. "I was thinking of something last night."

"And what was that?" I said between spoonful's of Frankenberry cereal.

"How odd it is for us to date, considering that I'm sleeping on your couch. I mean does that bother you…no that's not right…..I mean do you think it will make things difficult?"

Actually it was something I had thought about, so my answer didn't take long to come up with.

"No. I don't. A bit unconventional perhaps. But no. Jade we've been through too much to let anything stupid wreck this. We will have to work at it and I'm sure there will be missteps. I'm sure we'll have days where maybe we need to give each other space, but I think we'll do fine. Nothing will sink the jori ship."

Jade furrowed her eyebrows. "Jori?"

Feeling quite proud of myself for coming up with it, I said. "Jori, it's a combination of our names, J from your name and ori from my name Tori. It symbolizes us as a couple and all we can accomplish together. It will always sail and despite any rough seas it encounters, will never sink. So what do you think?"

Hoping for a positive response I looked to Jade, but her silent and disappointed looking scowl, told me I wasn't going to get one.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Have a nice day." The Goth quipped, as she left me and my falling spirits alone in the kitchen.

I thought I was so clever only to have Jade callously crush my wonderful Jori concept. I think my ship may have just sprung a leak.

I finished getting ready and still smarting from Jade's rejection of my wonderful and I may add utterly brilliant Jori concept, I felt the need to retaliate.

So I grabbed Jade's phone and turned up all the volumes, for calls, texts, notifications up to max volume and changed them all to something different. Before they all were the theme from the Scissoring, now it's Baby by Justin Beiber. I also subscribed her twitter feed to subscribe to every boyband known to man. I even subscribed her to that bizarre North Korean one that only sings the praises of Kim Jong-un. Rumor has it, that members of the band whose songs of praise are quite convincing enough, are quickly "Replaced" and never seen again.

It only goes to show you that the music industry, isn't for the faint of heart.

My revenge, complete, I set out for work. Now Jade silences her phone during work, but not at lunch. So I waited until her normal lunch break and called her.

After three rings, a very flustered and rather angry Jade, answered the phone. "Seriously Vega. WHAT IN THE FUCK, did you do with my phone. I'm sitting here in the cafeteria and suddenly it blasts Justin Beiber so dam loud, it woke up the guy in coma two floors up. And now everyone's laughing at me, even Tibor, they guy who doesn't speak English.

"You said my Jori concept was stupid. DON'T MOCK JORI." I snapped back.

Jades reply was a rather distinct and resigned sigh. "Oh god. Just kill me."

Jade hung up at that point. I knew that somehow I would pay for that, but some things simply cannot go unanswered.

I proceeded the rest of my day at the bank and then went straight to The Playpen and started getting dressed for my shift.

"Hey Sugar." Called out a familiar voice from behind me.

Turning around I could see Barbie, who looked to be in a rather cheerful mood.

"Hey Barbie. How are you?"

The blonde smiled and opened her locker, which was next to mine. "Good, so what's new?"

I've been itching to tell her all day, so I just blurted it out. "Jade and I had an official date last night."

Barbie's, warm smile quickly turned into a sly grin. "About time, how did it go?"

I shrugged. "Well it started off fine, with Jade taking me to a Trendy and very nice Chinese restaurant. She even paid."

A slight chuckle escaped Barbie's lips. "And let me guess, it ended up with both of you covered in sweat as you mercilessly pounded her doggie style with your strap-on, until she collapsed from pure ecstasy."

I suddenly found myself unable to think of anything else but Barbie's rather delightful and very dirty description. Believe me there are things I am very looking forward too, in this relationship and that happens to be one of them or having it done to me, but I digress.

I must have quickly zoned out as Barbie was waving her hand in front of my face. "Earth to Tori.

My face quickly flushed red in embarrassment. "Oh…uh….sorry, I got distracted. You're rather interesting and very specific guess, which sounds really really really nice; well it didn't quite end that way."

Barbie then frowned. "How did I end then?"

"Us using the confusion in the bar to escape, before the cops got called."

The look of shock on Barbie's face was actually rather priceless.

"I'm sorry, what? You didn't resort to kidnapping again?"

So, as we got into our costumes, I went in to the whole bloody saga from Jade noticing the couple to him lying on the floor to his nose gushing blood like old faithful to us fleeing the bar.

When I was finished, Barbie just laughed. "She's a trip ain't she."

"Ok, I spilled, what about you and Cat? Are you dating?"

Barbie paused and again smiled, but this was looked like a very warm, but cautious smile. "Yes,"

"Come on, you have to give me more than that." I said with a nudge of her shoulder.

"I can't tell you much more without me speaking to Cat first. I hope you understand. She's is herself and at the same time are delicate point and I kind of don't want to mess it up."

Coming from Barbie, that was a surprise, a pleasant one but still very much a surprise.

"Someone sounds like their getting serious." I said kiddingly.

This time it was Barbie's turn to blush. "Come on, let's get two work. Those drinks won't serve themselves."

I breezed through the night, occasionally thinking or hoping actually that things would work out. Despite my talk of having faith in the both of us, I knew full well that blind faith was something that could be dangerous indeed.

Jade was already asleep when I came home, so I didn't see the Goth until about 10 the morning when I came out of the bedroom.

There I found Jade, dressed in black shorts and a T-shirt, eating a bowl of Frosted Krusty Flakes and was totally absorbed in a Bug's bunny cartoon.

Still remembering the utter humiliation I bestowed upon Jade the previous day, I sat on the couch but put several feet between us.

Jade appeared not to notice and kept watching Elmer Fudd who was dressed as some sort of Viking, hunting bugs with a spear.

"Hey isn't this, Whats…."

"Silence!" Snapped Jade, just in time to hear come from the TV Elmer Fudd sing.

"Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit."

I opened my mouth to speak again but closed it, when I became the recipient of a rather hostile glare. It seems that Jade does not like her cartoons interrupted, this one in particular.

So I had so sit quietly and watch what's considered by many to be literally the greatest cartoon of all time, 1957's "What's Opera doc." It actually is a real great cartoon, setting the Bug's Bunny/Elmer Fudd conflict amongst the backdrop of the Opera's of Wagner.

Only when that cartoon ended and the one with the singing frog started, did Jade bother to pay attention to me.

"Never interrupt that cartoon. Ever." Jade said with a rather intense stare that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Ok…um…any other's I'm not supposed to interrupt you during."

"Yes, Duck Amuck with Daffy Duck."

I nodded, knowing that I'd better just do what she asks. "OK, how are you this morning?"

Jade continued her stare for another moment, "Fine once I finished unsubscribing to the twitter feeds of pretty much every boy band known to man. We'll all except that North Korean one. Their latest song. "Kim Jong-un, is the greatest man alive" is kind of catchy, in a sort of disco sort of way."

"You did?"

Jade instantly scowled. "No of course not, dingwad, besides, it's I heard on the news that Kim Jong Un had them all shot for looking bored at one of those mass games or something. Oh and don't you think for a moment I won't get you back for that, mark my words Vega. Everyone in the hospital cafeteria laughed at me as I frantically fumbled with my phone in an attempt to silence my 80 decibel Justin Beiber ringtone."

I cringed imagining what devious form of revenge she would decide to take against me.

"Oh"

The she glanced down at the space between us and said in a exaggerated hurt voice. "You're sitting so far away. I thought you liked me!"

"May I point out that just a few seconds ago; you pretty much swore revenge on me."

With a rather sinister looking smile, Jade quietly slid over next to me. "Yes I did, but I can't possibly do anything when you're expecting it. That would lessen the effect. It has to come at a later date, when you're totally at ease and forgotten all about it."

"Maybe you'll forget about it too." I said with a nervous laugh.

"I won't."

"Great." I said with a great deal of sarcasm.

Before Jade could speak again I interjected. "Oh, I have it from Barbie herself, Her and Cat are dating. But she's tight lipped on any details. She says they're at a sensitive point."

Jade bit her lip and took a breath. "Interesting."

"Time will tell." 

Jade then stood up. "Talking about time, You don't have to be at work until 6. So get cleaned up and dressed and I'll take you out to the movies and we'll go to the mall and walk around, hold hands….do couple stuff."

I couldn't help raise an eyebrow. "So were a couple now?"

Jade turned serious. "Not yet, but I kind of want to make up for the other night. I do feel bad about it. It's going to bother me until I show you a good time. I want this to work too, you know. I really do. So will you please spend the afternoon with me? You can even pick the movie, anything you want. It's on me."

It was obvious that she was being quite sincere and of course immediately said yes. We got ready as quickly as we could and by 12 we were sitting in a darkened movie theatre seeing a romantic comedy.

Unlike the last one, this date went flawlessly. Jade of course was her snarky and sometimes insulting self, but she really worked at not only showing me a good time, but I could tell was growing more comfortable in dating me again. A lot of the initial awkwardness, seemed to be ebbing away.

We held hands in the movies and I eventually put my arm around her, we walked and held hands in the mall. I loved Jade's smile when she first took my hand in public. She looked rather proud and considering how far she'd come, I was proud of her.

After the mall, we got home around four and I had about an hour until I had to get ready for work. So we snuggled on the couch and watched TV.

"I like this." Jade said softly after a period of silence.

I snuggled a bit closer and gave her a kiss. "I do too. You're very kissable."

Jade let out a chuckle and pulled me in for another kiss, but instead of a short peck, which all we've done, this lasted longer. It was a slow but sensual kiss which lasted at least 15 seconds and by the end of it, my heart was racing.

"Jori Huh." The Goth said with a thoughtful expression.

I smiled. "That kiss change your mind?"

Jade smirked. "Maybe 15 to 20 more like that, and I think you'll swing me."

After glancing at the clock I said. "Well I have 44 minutes before I have to get ready for work, so looks like my work is cut out for me."

"Take your best shot Vega." 

"Oh I plan on it."

**The cartoons Duck Amuck and What's opera doc, are considered to be the best two cartoons of all time. I highly recommend both of them. They are very funny.**

**The Jori ship has set, sail, even if Jade sort of hates the name of it.**


	39. Hold me

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from scratch.**

**Chapter 39 – Hold me**

**Jade's POV**

It's December now, the weather continues to get cold again and Tori and I have been officially dating for 17 days. The first 14 of them were wonderful. I felt alive again. Tori really cares about me and does her best to make me happy. I do my best to make her happy. I really feel something growing between us. We went on several dates out to dinner, we took walks at night holding hands, it was great.

But as I said the first 14 were wonderful. I didn't make mention of the last 3 days.

We had a problem, last Thursday. It was something I was afraid of happening, a fear that hung constantly in the back of my mind.

It was later in the evening around 9:30 and we were cuddled on the couch watching Orange is the new Black. When the show ended, Tori turned and started to kiss me.

Now up to this point, I'll tell you that that's all we've done; kissed and had a few make out sessions on the couch. Tori not once, has pressured me to go any further.

That thought both excites and scares me. Let's face it my experience with Beck has scarred me and I'm scared I can't function as a lover anymore. I haven't voiced this with Tori or even in therapy. I've read that some women who are raped find themselves unable to have normal sexual relationships afterward.

I'm afraid that I'll be not the person she wants me to be. I know we've been through a lot and she truly cares for me and my fears may simply be irrational, but they are very real to me.

She had started to kiss me slow at first. She'd kiss for a few seconds and break away, then kiss for a few more. We'd done a lot of that since we started dating. But that night, her kisses became longer and longer.

I could feel my heart beating with each kiss felt more and more aroused. Each kiss she gave me was welcomed and returned with vigor as the moment got more heated.

Soon the kiss between us was deep and full of passion and at that moment I felt like it was starting to run away from us. I could have stopped it then and there, but part of me wanted it to run away.

After a half an hour she broke the kiss and started to work her way down my neck. I love having my neck kissed and I purred with pleasure.

Just then as the moment got more heated, Tori reached under my t-shirt and began to fondly my ever hardening nipples. I was not wearing a bra.

But without knowing it, Tori triggered something inside me. I liked having her fondle my breasts and was about to take off my shirt when she playfully pinched one.

That was something Beck did, a lot. Only he'd pinch hard. I remember his taunting laugh when he did it was just a part of his cruelty.

Right then and there I had a horrible flashback to the day several months ago when he raped me. Instantly starting to freak out, I screamed and literally bolted off the couch and retreated into the corner.

Naturally upset, Tori ran to me, to see what was wrong. "Jade are you ok?"

But as she spoke, she touched me on the shoulder, and I recoiled instantly. "Don't touch me. Don't touch me."

Tori had begun to cry, but I was too busy freaking to really pay attention. "Jade, what's wrong?"

"You pinched me, Beck pinched me like that, he'd laugh. Just go away and leave me alone." I said, now crying myself.

"Jade, I want to help you."

I had been set off and I didn't want Tori around. Partially because I really wanted to be alone, partially to protect her from anything I may do or say.

"Jade please?"

"Leave me alone!" I roared.

Only then did the sobbing Latina, get up and go into her room. For the rest of the night, Tori left me alone and remained in her room.

I cowered and freaked out in the corner for at least a half an hour before returning to the couch. By then, I was a giant mess as my insecurities, anxieties and fears all came boiling to the surface. Could I ever be a lover again, would Tori want me, was I broken and could I ever be fixed.

At the same time, I was also deeply ashamed and embarrassed for my sudden freak out. I don't know how I could face her. Could we even think of moving forward, I simply didn't know.

The next morning, I woke to the sounds of her in the kitchen eating breakfast. Normally I would poke my head in and say hello or get some coffee. Instead I went straight into the bathroom.

She worked both jobs that day so I knew I'd not see her to the next morning.

By the next day I was depressed, but outwardly showed it as anger. Tori decided to leave me alone and stayed in her room until she had to leave for work. I don't think we said more than 5 words to each other the whole day.

Just a week ago, Barbie and Cat took us out to announce not only they were dating but officially girlfriend and girlfriend. It was fast, but just the way they looked at each other, it was obvious that those two had really connected. I'll admit I was jealous of them and their newfound closeness.

When we were alone, I asked Barbie, how much of a change it would be from her single life of going from girl to girl. She said.

"I loved the exciting life, but I was lonely. A lot more lonely then I realized. It's like when you do something strenuous all day, like work in a garden, only when you finally sit down to you really realize how tired you actually were. Only when I met Cat, realized how sweet, kind and funny she was, did I realize how lonely I truly was."

They're happy but we are not and now I'm afraid of what the future holds or doesn't hold.

Now it's Sunday morning and I sit here on the couch wondering what will come next, if there is a next. It's just after 10 and Tori's asleep, but she'll wake soon.

I'm thinking about it a few minutes later when I hear Tori's door open.

Looking over I could see her standing in the doorway, looking somewhat nervous, which only made me feel worse.

"Jade? Can we talk?"

I nodded and motioned to the couch and she quickly sat down, leaving at least 2 feet between us.

"Look Vega, I'm sorry, I know you didn't mean to set me off, but that one little thing triggered a flashback."

Tori nodded. "I'm sorry too. I got carried away and didn't think about how you felt. In fact I don't think we've ever discussed how far we go and how fast. I think I just kept putting it off."

"It's not all your fault, I should have stopped it too. I could have talked about it too."

Tori ran her hand through her hair. "Jade please tell me, what are you thinking, feeling."

I got up and walked to the window and looked out onto the street. "Once and a while I feel like Jade, but most days I'm this wreck of a person who once was Jade. Beck ruined me. You've said you have faith in us and I'm sorry, but a lot of days I can't. I had worried about my inadequacies; if I could be your lover. If you and I can be in a committed relationship. Our incident, scared me, in more than one way. I'm sorry Tori."

I wasn't looking at Tori when I said what I just said, I simply couldn't get up the courage to do it. I waited for a response but instead there was a silence, that only made my heart fall.

But then I felt a pair of arms reach around me as Tori hugged me from behind , putting her head on my shoulder.

"Jade, I'm not sure if this is the right thing to say, but here goes. You've been staying with me, for almost 10 months now. Baring that one month where you were away. But I that time we've been through so much. Come to depend on each other. We care about each other so very much and both are committed to make this work. Despite your lack of faith, I know it's what you want more than anything. Am I right?"

She had read my mind and that in addition to the hug meant the world to me. "Yes."

"Jade" Tori whispered in my ear. "We already are in a committed relationship and have been for a while. Granted our feelings are developing and we haven't expressed much physical, but as I see it, we are already together. I have a confession, I've already think of you as my girlfriend. I don't want anyone else. You don't want anyone else. Things aren't perfect and we have a ways to go, but we are already together as a couple. I won't say anything I'm not sure of right now, but Jade you don't have to worry about not getting me to commit. I already have and don't ever want to let go."

My heart suddenly beating faster, I turned around as this overwhelming surge of emotion charged through me. Looking at her eyes, I could see just how much she cared for me and how she meant every word.

Bursting into tears, I through my arms around he and cried uncontrollably. I just kept sobbing and sobbing all the while she gently rubbed circles on my back. She made me felt safe, wanted and I dare say loved, though she never actually said it.

"We've worked through so much Jade already, we'll work through this. I promise you."

She eased me to the couch and held me while I cried a bit longer. Finally I stopped, content to let her hold me.

"So Jade, who's your girlfriend? The one who will stick by you thick and thin and cares about you so very much."

"You are." I said quietly.

"And you're my girlfriend. I know you'd walk through fire for me and you've damn nearly done that. Look we're on no time table, we take things on our own pace. No rush, no expectations, just two women who are deeply committed to each other. Face it West, you're stuck with me."

Only then did I laugh. "Vega, you have such succinct way of putting things sometimes. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what?"

"Can you just hold me for a while?"

I could feel myself being pulled in closer and a gentle kiss was planted on my head. "Always."


	40. The Present

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me**

**Start from scratch **

**Chapter 40 – The Present.**

**Tori's POV**

Today is Christmas day and it's been two weeks since that day where I held Jade and officially became a couple. Actually I just told Jade we already were a couple and Jade liked that very much.

While officially a couple we've sort of taken a slight step back in physical affection. We hold hands, snuggle and kiss on occasion but nothing else. It was something we discussed and came to a mutual agreement on.

While Jade wanted to move forward physically, she said in our discussion that she was a bit frustrated as she simply didn't know how to proceed. She still had issues, fears and of course nightmares.

But it's only been two weeks so not much else has happened. We've been very busy anyway. Jade had picked up some extra shifts at the hospital and much to my delight went on her first audition in over a year. It was for a bit part in a TV show, but she felt good trying to get back into the swing of things. Christmas time is busy for everyone.

Jade and I had agreed to give each other one gift a piece with a price limit of $50 dollars. I had no intention of abiding by our agreement however.

Christmas Eve was a quiet evening in for us. We cooked a nice turkey dinner and after snuggled on the couch and watched Christmas movies. We each got to pick one. My choice was the original Miracle on 34th Street, With Natalie Wood. Jade's of course was the 1974 horror classic, at least according to her, Black Christmas. After that we watched the Charlie Brown Christmas special and both did the snoopy dance. We had consumed an entire bottle of wine at that point, so we let go.

I had decorated the apartment, but not overly as Jade seemed to dislike excessive holiday cheer. Our tree is a 1 foot high plastic tree on top of the entertainment center.

So Christmas morning we both slept in and when we finally both got up around 11 Am. I put on some coffee and we opened our presents.

Jade bought me a new keyboard for my music, it was fancier and a big upgrade to what I had before. I could to so much more with it, it was a great gift and I loved it. I got Jade a framed movie poster for the 1978 horror classic, Halloween. I told Jade it was an original and she was beyond thrilled.

We sat around and were lazy, watching TV for several hours the n we got dressed and met Cat and Barbie for diner which was at a rather busy but good Italian restaurant. We had a good time and it was obvious that Cat and Barbie though very different were not quite happy together. They even hinted that things were getting quite serious.

Though I said we had a good time, I could see that something was bothering Jade. She covered it up well, but still I could see it.

At the end of dinner, we said our goodbyes and separated. Being not too far from the apartment, we held hands and walked. In the first two blocks Jade said little and I waited to see if she'd talk or I had to prod her.

I waited until we were almost home before finally saying something.

"Ok Jade, out with it."

Jade was quiet for a few more steps then sighed. "Oh, the normal self-doubts wreaking havoc today. Nothing to be concerned about. You don't want to hear it."

"Humor me."

"No."

"Jade, if you don't tell me, I'll just have to think of a way to make you. Let's say one of your favorite pairs of scissors happens to suddenly go missing and only after you tell me what I want, it turns up."

I was quickly the recipient of a rather nasty glare. "You can be such a bitch at times, you know that."

I simply shrugged. "Oh well."

"It's that Barbie and Cat have totally clicked and now their talking long term plans. They're doing so well. I'm…"

"Jealous?" I said answering her question

Jade nodded as we got to our building. "Yes. As far as what to do to bring us closer, I feel lost sometimes."

"Come on upstairs, we'll talk about it some more."

We got upstairs and once our coats were hung up, I stopped Jade as she was about to sit on the couch. I was a bit nervous now that I was about to give it to her, so I just decided to get on with hit

"Before you sit down, I have one more Christmas present for you."

Jade instantly frowned. "Hey we said only one each."

"Tough, you're getting another one."

Jade looked about the apartment "So where is this mysterious present."

I then walked to my bedroom door and opened it slightly. "It's in here."

Jade frowned. "I'm not supposed to go in there, remember. It's off limits."

"Well I'm un off limiting it. Come in." I said opening the door and snapping on the light.

**No One's pov**

Jade cautiously walked to Tori's bedroom door and paused in the doorway. She had always wondered what was inside and over time, had grown into a full blown mystery.

It was her sanctuary and for the first time she was being let in, which oddly made Jade feel somewhat giddy, with excitement.

So Jade stepped in and for the first time looked around.

The room itself was average size with one window and purple painted walls. In the center of the room was a queen sized bed that had a burgundy bedspread. On each side of the bed sat a small end table and directly ahead of her along the wall was a large oak dresser. Beyond that was a closet. In one at the foot of the bed, sat a TV that was sitting on a table next to a smaller, newer dresser.

What really caught Jade's attention, were the pictures, at least 2 dozen of them were on the walls. They were of home, friends family and several of Jade and all were happy times. The room itself felt quite warm, inviting and cozy.

"It's nice. Thank you for showing it to me. I know this is your safe place." Jade said as she looked at a picture of them on stage together during that play where Tori played the Astronaut and Jade played her wife.

Now looking a bit expectant Tori stepped in the room, "Aren't you going to ask about your present?"

"I thought just showing me the room was the present."

With a wide smile, Tori walked over to the newer dresser and pointed to the Bow that was on top of it. Something that Jade had not seen initially.

"Ta da" Said Tori excitedly as she pulled open a drawer to reveal it's empty.

"You got me a dresser." Jade said, loving the thought of not having to live out of the bags she stacked in the corner of her living room.

Tori then ran to the closet and opened it. "I even got you closet space. I cleared out some clothes and made room for you."

Now Jade was truly moved as she looked at the half of the closet that was now empty. "This is great Tori. I don't know what to say."

Tori then grinned. "There's more."

"What?"

Taking Jade's hand she sat Jade down on the bed with her. "Jade, I'm more than just giving you a place to keep your clothes. I want to give you a place to live, a place to sleep and not on a couch. A real home with someone who is crazy about you. I don't want you to be my guest anymore. I want you to officially live with me."

Jade's jaw dropped as she suddenly felt herself wanting to cry. "Tori…this is too much…."

"No Jade, it's not. I've been doing some reading and I think I've found a way for us to keep moving forward."

"How?"

"Jade, what we need is to further our bond by developing intimacy between us. Now don't get me wrong, what I mean by intimacy is a closeness an emotional bond. That is developed by us doing things together, living together. We start by sharing the same bed, it's a big bed, so you have room. That's it. We don't have to do anything you don't' feel comfortable with. The book I read gave a bunch of examples on how to further develop intimacy with your partner. I want us to explore that. I think once we've further developed the emotional bond between us, the rest will fall into place. I'm sorry if I'm not making sense."

Tears suddenly formed in Jade's eyes. "You're wonderful Tori. This is the best present anyone has ever given me."

"That means you officially live with me."

Now crying Jade hugged Tori tightly. "Yes."

They hugged for a minute and once they broke up, Jade asked. "What other things did they suggest to help develop intimacy."

"Well one is for us to spend just a few minutes of quiet time each day, just touching each other. Not in a sexual way, just touching. It's supposed to help strengthen the physical and emotional bonds between couples. I hoped you wouldn't find that silly."

Jade wiped a tear. "No I don't. It sounds nice."

Tori leaned over and kissed Jade. "Come on, let's get your stuff unpacked and then find a place for your movie poster."

"I was wondering where you expected me to put that."

The girls spent more than an hour getting Jade fully unpacked. By then though it was early, the girls decided to go to bed together for the first time.

A bit nervous Jade changed into her shorts and t-shirt and finished her bathroom stuff and came into the bedroom where a smiling Tori, in her duck pajama's was sitting cross legged on the bed.

Patting the space in front of her, Tori said. "Sit."

Jade sat down so she was facing Tori. "Now what."

"Ok, for the next five minutes, we're both quiet and simply spend that time touching each other. Anywhere. Got it."

"Got it."

Tori looked at the clock, it was 8:13. "Ok until 8:18 we just touch. Go."

So Jade then reached and just touched Tori on the cheek and at the same time Tori gently touched Jade's shoulder.

And for the next few minutes they just touched. An arm, a leg, the side of a breast; just light touches.

While Jade thought it would be nice, she did doubt the value of such an exercise. However she found it both very relaxing and in a small way she felt closer to Tori.

Once the clock said 8:18, Tori spoke. "So?"

Jade smiled. "It was stimulating, yet relaxing and I liked it. And the fact that we shared it, made it sort of special."

"I liked it too. Ready for bed."

"Yes, but I hate to say this, I know you'd like to sleep pressed up next to me and I'd like that too, but can we just ease into it. I just want to sleep on my side for a bit. I'm sorry."

Tori nodded. "Don't apologize. We have all the time in the world."

So Tori turned out the lights and slipped under the cover with Jade, taking care to maintain her distance.

"Vega?"

"Yes."

"I say a lot, but I did mean what I said earlier, you are wonderful."

In the dark Tori smiled. "So are you."

"Can we touch tomorrow night?"

"I'd love to."

"You've made it a wonderful day my having me officially live with you and taking me into your bed. Thank you. But there's just one more thing."

"What's that?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

The stillness was quickly broke by the sound of loud fart. "Pfffffttt….."

"Jade!"

"Now this bed really feels like mine now."

Tori groaned. "Thanks to you, it certainly smells like it. Seriously you farted in bed, on our first night together. Who would do that?"

"Tori, haven't you forgotten who you're in bed with."

"Oh."

"Night Vega!"

All Tori could do is shake her head. "Oh well, Night Jade."


	41. A Bad Night

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from Scratch.**

**Chapter 41 – A bad night.**

**Authors note, This story is winding down, 1 or 2 chapters left. Plus I have an extremely important announcement at the end of this chapter, please read it.**

**Tori's POV.**

It's early April now and some four months have passed since Jade has officially moved in. We've become very close in that time and things have gone relatively well. Jade continues her therapy and very slowly is pulling herself back together.

Her and I continue our intimacy strengthening exercises. We spend 5 minutes touching each other nearly every single evening. I love it and I know Jade does too. Though she says little about it, I know that if we don't have a session, the next day she will be crabby. I added some more things. At least once a week we have to write a small note saying something good about the other. I make time to spend just talking with Jade.

Keeping the lines of communication open is important. We added another one just last week by taking a bath together. There was no sex, but we sat in the tub and washed each other. Then we cuddled and talked. We're still taking it very slow physically. Our mental bond is the one we're focusing on.

It was very nice. I'm falling for her more each day. I know she feels the same way.

Jade still works at the hospital and has auditioned for a few parts but nothing panned out yet. I can tell it's frustrating for her. Me, I continue to work both jobs and am hard at work on my music.

While we've become very close, we've had some bad days here and there. Jade continues to have nightmares. She still hates being touched by anyone else but me. She'll let Cat and Barbie touch her, but somewhat begrudgingly. She has days where's she particularly moody and combative.

We've had a few arguments, their usually over small things. I'll do something that would only seem a minor annoyance, but it will cause Jade to blow up. It's a part of her trauma and afterward she feels badly. Some are just normal arguments, like any couple have.

It's complicated, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

It's late on a Friday night and I'm coming home from a shift at The Play Pen. Sometimes Jade waits up for me, sometimes not. Personally l like it when she's asleep and I can just crawl into bed with her.

Tonight as I entered, I saw the lights are off, but as soon as I shut the door I quickly became aware of Jade screaming.

Oh chiz, she's having another nightmare.

Rushing into bedroom I flip on the lights to see her violently thrashing in bed, alternately screaming NO and please don't.

"Jade…Jade….Wake up…." I say loudly as I nudge her a bit.

I've learned to be careful when she's having a nightmare. Once a few months ago she was having one and I grabbed her to wake her up. Frightened ,disorientated and not even awake, she punched me in the stomach, which hurt like hell. I was tempted to tell her later that she had done that, but I knew it would only lay more guilt on her. There was no bruise so I never told her what she had done and I never will. Some secrets are worth keeping.

So sitting on the edge of the bed, I gently shake her away, but at the same time maintaining my distance. I hate seeing her like this, I really do.

"Jade…Jade…Please wake up….." I call out again as I gave her a bigger nudge and then back off.

She shakes violently a few seconds more and then screams and suddenly sits up in bed.

For a few moments she sits there, her hands shaking and saying nothing. I need to give her a moment to wake up.

"Jade are you ok" I say cautiously.

She puts her hand up to keep me away. "Just give me a second….."

"Fine, I'll go lock the front door and be right back."

I did so and returned to find her sitting on the edge of the bed, blankly starring ahead. Not sure if she wanted me close, I paused just inside the doorway.

"Bad one?"

Jade nodded and patted the spot next to her. "Sit with me please."

Quietly I sat down, where she promptly put her arms around me and began to cry. I then put my arms around her and held her as close as I could.

"It's ok, now. I'm here." I said in a soft comforting voice.

I could ask her about the nightmare, but I won't. It's probably the same one she always has; Beck has her trapped back in that apartment, where he rapes her over and over. She doesn't have the nightmares as often, but when they come, they can still be quite intense.

Instead I let her cry into my shoulder and just rock her back and forth.

"It's ok, baby. Shhh….."

After a few minutes of crying she sort of goes limp in my arms. The nightmares leave her drained, both physical and mentally.

I feel bad for not being there earlier to wake her up, but I was working. Still I feel the need to apologize.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you Jade."

"Don't apologize, there's nothing to apologize for." Jade said weakly.

"Still I feel bad."

"Don't. With one incident which we will no longer discuss, you've always been there for me. They say I'm the strong one, you're the strong one Tori. You're human, but you are the strong one. I'd have never made it without you."

"I may be the strong, one but I need you too. I'm sure someday, I'll need support and I know you'll be there for me."

She remains in my arms for a few moments more then lifts her head, looking me in the eye.

Her eyes are bloodshot and full of strain but I see something else in them. It's more an apprehension than anything.

"Tori?"

"Yes." I say as I gently stroke her hair.

"I know this is hardly the most romantic time to say this but Tori Vega….I love you."

For an instant my heart stops as my emotions suddenly run wild. "Jade has never told me that. Nor have I told her. But those three words are music to my soul."

I can't help but smile and then say something I've known to be true for a long time. "I love you too." It feels wonderful just to say it, plus it's true.

Jade bursts into tears again which due to my now emotional overload, I do the same and we cry in each other's arms. For a few more moments we cry until I ease her back on to the bed.

"You just rest….I'll get ready for bed."

"Don't leave me….." Jade then says just above a whisper.

"Never."

I quickly change into my sleeping clothes, do my bathroom stuff and return to the bedroom. Jade's still awake and smiles at me when I enter the room.

After turning off the light I slip into bed and we face each other.

"I meant what I said Vega."

"I know, Jade. I do too."

"Can we touch!"

I nod and for the next five minutes we continue our ritual of spending 5 silent minutes touching each other. I think that alone has done so much for us, in bringing us together. Tonight after our declaring our love for each other, it feels very special. So special, we keep going for more than 15 minutes.

"Better?" I finally say.

Jade manages a smile. "More than better, that was beautiful. Kind a like making love without the sex."

"I like that. A lot."

"Tori can I ask you a question?"

"What?"

"Why did you decide to work at The Playpen?' I know it pays well, but surely you could have found something else less degrading."

I sigh involuntarily. "That's why I picked it."

"Because it was degrading?"

"Yes."

Jade sat up in bed. "Why?"

I sat up in bed and faced Jade. "Because I was punishing myself for what I did to you. That I felt I deserved to be degraded groped and treated like an object for turning my back on you."

Jade quickly put her forehead against mine. "I hate the fact that you felt you had to do that. Tori you did what you needed to. You're only human, you're not superwoman. I hurt you by going back to Beck. Now I feel even worse."

I then moved my head back and took both of her hands in mine. "Don't Jade please don't. We did something special tonight. We declared our love for each other. And for our love to grow, we need to stop living in the past. I know it's not easy, but we need to try. It will trip us up from time to time but we need to move on. Yes, I started there because I thought I deserved it, but I stay because I have good friend that works there and the money is really good. It's not forever."

"You're right."

I then leaned over and kissed her. "Well Jade. You've had a bad night. But the nightmare is over, there's nothing left to apologize for. So let's get under the covers again, not talk anymore about it tonight. Just be two women in love, holding each other. Because there is nothing more I want to do is spoon you, feel you pressed up against me.

Jade smiled, but only for a second. "The nightmares will return."

"I know that and I will be there for you. To hold you to tell you you're safe and that I love you."

Jade kissed me back and that said we slipped under the covers where nestled in and spooned Jade from behind. I love this, I'm close to her, I can smell her hair, and it's wonderful and perfect.

Reaching over I took Jade hand which she squeezed.

What started off badly had turned into a nice and ultra-perfect moment, but one thing made me chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm just trying to think of you that first day I met you and what you'd say if I told you that one day we'd be spooning."

Jade's response was both quick and blunt. "I would have stabbed you to death with my blue pair of scissors, probably right there on the spot."

"Well that tender moment was fun while it lasted." I quipped with mock sarcasm. "Where is that pair of scissors anyway."

"Under my pillow" Jade stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Hey I thought we agreed not to have scissors under the pillow."

"No, you agreed not to have scissors under the pillow. I simply nodded in acknowledgment of you agreeing not to. I never said I would go along with it. I never sleep without scissors."

My annoyed silence must have quickly registered with Jade who then said. "or without you. The thing is Tori that once I didn't realize how wonderful scissors were. But I learned how beautiful and wonderful they are. Back then I didn't know what I know now."

"And what's that?"

"That you are my soulmate."

I kissed the back of Jade's neck in response. "How funny, that I would learn the same thing about you."

Jade chuckled and in a soft voice said. "Good night lover, soulmate, friend, companion, my strength, my heart, my everything."

For a few moments I was speechless and overwhelmed at Jade's tender and soft declaration that I was everything to her. I was so overwhelmed, I shed a tear.

"That's so beautiful. I don't even know what I could say that could even come close."

"All you ever need to say is three words, I don't need anything more."

Moving my head I put my lips to her hear. "I love you. Goodnight."

I put my head down, closed my eyes and happily pressed up against the woman I loved, waited for sleep to claim us.

**A nice tender chapter for you people. I hope you like it. As I said, this story is winding down. **

**SUPER IMPORTANT ANNOUNCMENT**

**Those you who follow Elizabeth Gillies, on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram probably saw the two sets of pictures she put out recently. The first was her in a black dress, where she joked she looked like an Upper East Side widow on her way to the funeral of her husband, whom she killed. The second was her in a pink dress, joking how this was the same widow posing for reporters on the day she's acquitted of murder.**

**Well I saw those pictures and decided to turn her idea into a full blown and original story. It has original characters and I think it's quite good. Since it's an original story and not fan fiction I have published on fan fictions sister site fictionpress dot com**

**If you enjoy my reading I think you'll really like this dark and sometimes humorous tale of a murderess. **

**I have the same pen name there "Quitting Time." and the story is called "Upper East Side."**

**Here is the link. I had to put spaces in it.**

** fictionpress DOT com / s /3259089 /1 /Upper-East-Side **

**As I said this is not a Jori or even an Victorious story, but an original story based on Liz Gillie's original concept. **

**SO please head over, give the story a read, review and if you like, even pass the word on, via facebook, twitter or instagram as I'm sure other Liz Gillies fans would like to read it as well. Tell me do you think I did her concept justice? I'm really eager to know.**

**Oh and by the way, I'm on twitter.**

** QuittingTime101 **


	42. Home is Where the Heart is

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Start from Scratch.**

**Chapter 42 – Home is where the heart is.**

**Last Chapter.**

**Jade's POV**

It's been just over four months since that night where Tori and I finally admitted our love for each other. It was a long time in coming and to get to that point each of us had to go through so much. But neither of us would been able to even get there, without the other.

We're a happy couple, most of the time at least. We, like all couples, have our off days, our fights and whatnot. I also still have my trauma's which I'm still contending with. I hate to say it, but this is something I will have to deal with for years to come. Only Tori's love and devotion has helped me even begin to start getting past it.

I still have nightmares, but now when I wake from them, Tori is always right there to soothe me back to sleep

Our careers, once pretty much dead, have returned to life. About 2 months ago, Tori got a gig singing lead in a 80's cover band. Ok, an 80's cover band is sort of lame, but their previous lead singer got knocked up and they needed an abrupt replacement. The band's drummer was a friend of Barbie and when Barbie mentioned her good friend was a singer, they asked her to audition.

They loved her and now she's the lead singer. Granted some of the songs are rather old and cheesy, but Tori loves to sing and when on stage she looks truly happy. I love seeing the delight in her eyes as she gets to sing for a crowd. The gig with the band doesn't have to be forever and the money has allowed her to quit the job at the Playpen. Something I'm happy about as the thought of all those drunk creeps groping and eyeing her never sat right with me.

4 months ago, I finally landed an acting gig. It was an episode of crime television show, really gritty stuff. I play a bank teller who gets blasted in the chest with a shotgun during a bank robbery. It was first on screen death and something I'm quite proud of.

There's been another development with my career, but I'll get back to that in a minute.

Our relationship has grown stronger and we've grown very close. Tori's exercises to deepen our intimacy did the trick as about a month after we told each we loved each other for the first time, we made love for the first time.

I had finally felt comfortable enough with her, and close enough to her to take our relationship to the next level.

I'd to say it was beautiful and perfect. While it was beautiful and special, it wasn't quite perfect. Not totally used to each other in bed, we in the throes of passion accidently bumped heads. We each saw stars for a moment, put some ice on our heads, laughed and after a few minutes resumed lovemaking. The accident, in a way made the night even more special, not to mention made us a bit more cautious.

As a joke, Tori bought me a New York Giant's football helmet, the next day. To remind me of that special night, it sits on my nightstand to this day.

We now have a good sex life, but my past sometimes gets in the way. For usually a day or so after a nightmare, I won't be able to do it. Tori instead gives me lots of cuddles and keeps telling me how wonderful I am, when I'm not being a gank that is.

But as I said there was another development with my career and it was a big one. After having numerous auditions sabotaged and my confidence undermined by nameless I finally got a serous part. Yeah, the bank teller bit was nice, but it was 2 whole lines and I get blasted in the chest. I spent the rest of the scene, having to lie motionless in a pool of fake blood. Not much acting skill required, for that one.

One of the auditions I went to was for this big HBO TV miniseries based on the life of the Roman Emperor, Augustus. It's pretty serious stuff with a big budget. I honestly didn't think I'd have a shot, but I tried out for a bit part of the wife of a roman senator.

I got a call back and I read for it. Much to my surprise I got a part, but not the one I read for. I was offered the part of a mute slave, named Alda, In the story, she is originally from one of the Germanic tribes and now is the personal and loyal slave of the wife of Augustus, Livia Drusilla.

It's a huge part,with me in 6 out of the 7 episodes. But the slave is mute so I have no lines, but regardless it's a major role with, Alda aiding Livia in her various palace schemes for power. It's a challenge as I have to use body moments and facial expressions to do my acting. It could really be a big break for me.

But there's one small snag. The filming is being done in Rome and will take about 10-11 weeks. I found out 2 months ago and naturally told Tori. She was very happy for me, but I could tell she was upset I'd be leaving. I asked her to talk about it and what it meant to us, but she said she would when the time was right.

Since that day, we've gone on as normal, though I started to make the preparations I needed for my trip. The studio arranged a small furnished apartment for me, right near the studio. The money is good, I can make as much with this part as I could in 2 years of cleaning hospital rooms.

But this trip sort of hung over us like a cloud. For the most part we ignored it, but in the last few days that cloud has gotten bigger and darker. Tori's been acting as if everything is fine, but I can tell it isn't. I keep asking her about it, but she doesn't want to talk about me leaving quite yet.

I leave for Rome Tomorrow and now that cloud covers the entire sky.

We had a going away party for me tonight at our place. We had Cat, Barbie, Dr. Cortez and a few co-workers from The Playpen and the hospital. I quit the hospital 2 weeks ago. Tonight Tori's been cheerful and a very good host, but she's covering her real emotions.

Now all the guests have gone save for Cat and Barbie who are now getting ready to leave.

Having just got off the couch with Cat, Barbie put out her arms, to give me a hug. "Have a good trip Jade."

I cautiously hugged her and turned to Cat and gave her a hug.

"Bye Jadey."

I growled instantly. "I told you in 5th grade, stop calling me Jadey."

"Sorry."

As Cat took Barbie's hand I looked to the blonde and Joked. "Maybe, when I come back we can have that threesome Tori and I owe you."

Cat immediately looked to Barbie and frowned, causing the blonde to take her hand.

"Sorry Jade, but I'll have to let you off the hook on that one."

Looking oddly disappointed, Tori said. "Why?"

Barbie smiled and put her arm around Cat., "Believe it or not, this little Red haired beauty has made me into a one woman gal. Not only that, were getting our own place next month."

I swear, for a moment I saw a really disappointed look on Tori's face.

Cat smiled and kissed Barbie. "Come on, Kitty cat wants to play with her Barbie doll and I know you want to play with your kitty cat."

I looked to Tori, who gave me an amused looking shrug.

Barbie grinned in response to Cat. "Sorry, threesome would have been nice, but me and Cat are strictly monogamous. Don't worry Jade, I'll watch over Tori while you're gone."

"Just not too close." I warned.

Cat and Barbie then said their goodbyes and soon after we were alone.

After locking the door I walked over to Tori and put my arms around her. "I think it's time for our talk. There's not much time left to have it."

Tori looked into my eyes, with a sad expression. "Make love to me first."

Not needing any more prodding I promptly picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. As I put her down on the bed, Tori smiled. "Give me a second; I have a surprise for you."

Knowing this would be our last night together, I quickly found myself becoming more and more emotional, very quickly. I exited the bedroom, turned off the lights in the living room and very quickly did my bathroom stuff.

My heart was pounding by the time, I returned to the bedroom to find it lit solely by 4 red candles in various parts of the room. Lying on the bed, her hair spread out was Tori in a very beautiful green lace negligee. She must have bought it special for me and just the sight of it, really made me feel warm.

Tori sat up with a slight look of disappointment. "You're not naked. "

I stepped next to the bed. "Well I know you like to strip me, kind of like unwrapping a present."

Only then did Tori's lips curve up into a smile as she quickly got up and started to strip me. With each article of clothing she took off she'd give me several and increasingly sensual kisses.

After several very sexy minutes later I was naked, with Tori slowly walking around me, feeling me and touching me.

"Tori if you're worried, I would…." I started to say before she put some fingers on my lips to silence me.

"No Talking, just love." The Latina whispered as she gently eased me onto the bed, then straddled me.

Our lovemaking as a result of our nightly touching exercises has grown to involve lots of slow and gentle caressing. I think I like that part of the lovemaking most of all as. It's so simple but extremely beautiful.

So for several minutes she alternately kissed me and caressed me. It was soft and slow at first, but gradually it become more sensual and passionate.

Being with Tori like this was pure heaven. I loved her so much and to be able to connect with her on a physical, emotional and even spiritual level, only reinforced my love for her.

I was passive at this point as I let my hands touch and caress her, being sure to touch all the spots she loved being touched in.

Time ceased having any meaning as Tori continued to pour every ounce of her love for me into our love making.

She touched my legs, suckled on my breasts, kissed my neck, nibbled on my toes and a hundred other things, each one only excited me more, made me fall for her more.

Finally when she knew she had me rip, she reached in the drawer and pulled out a huge pink strap on. We've used one before and believe me Tori can use it, she's utterly fucking amazing. Though she's adamant in telling me that when she uses it, she's not a man, but see's the strap on as an extension of her female sexuality for the benefit of both of us.

After one session with a strap on, I believed her 200%.

Slowly she attached the 9" member and ever so slowly started to prod my not very wet core. They were slow playful, teasing, prods, which she knew drove me up the wall.

Several minutes later, I was so worked up, that I was ready to jump out of my skin. I loved her so much and by now was so desperate to consummate the final act of love that I promptly begged.

"I need you inside me, please!"

Tori grinned an slow ran a finger across my stomach. "Tell me first. Who's my woman, who's my girl."

"I am..I'm your woman…I love you so much…please get inside me."

She closed her eyes for a moment and then gently penetrated me, causing me to let out a huge moan of pleasure.

Like she always did, she started her thrusting motions ever so slowly, in and out until she found just the right way to stimulate me the most.

Right, now I was hers in every way shape or form. She kept going, faster and faster, pushing me closer and closer to the edge.

The orgasm broke quickly and unlike all the others she had bestowed on me, it was incredibly powerful. I let out a shriek as my body lit up like a Christmas tree, but beyond the mere physical pleasure, looking into Tori's eyes and seeing the love she had for me, made it beyond special.

She let off, and kissed me a for a while, as I recovered. Soon after wrestled her below me and spent a good deal of time returning the favor.

An hour and a half later lovemaking was done I looked at her and said. "We need to talk about this."

Tori made a sad smile. "Can we talk about it in the morning?"

"You know my Cab arrives at 9 Am."

"I know. Please just hold me."

Not wanting to upset her I pulled her into my arms and moments later, we were asleep.

At 7:30 I woke up, left Tori still sleeping and got ready to go. My bags had already been packed and all I needed to do was dress and gather a few last minute things.

By 8:30 I knew I had to wake her up, I had things I wanted to say and there was almost no time left to say them. But as I emerged from the bathroom, I saw Tori, in a bathrobe on the couch.

"Tori, I was just going to wake you."

Tori who looked like she was going to cry, patted the seat next to her. "Sit with me."

I sat down and immediately felt the need to reassure her. "Tori, I will come back. I promise. And there won't be anyone else. I love you. "

A tear quickly ran down Tori's cheek as she took my hand. "I love you Jade. "

"I don't have to go."

Tori shed another tear. "No Jade, you do. It's that I'm just afraid."

My stomach suddenly felt like it had rocks in it, "I will be faithful, I will be back."

"No Jade, it's not that."

"Than what is it?"

"Jade, I'm afraid for you. What if you have a nightmare or need me to hold you. I won't be there and I'm worried. "

I'll admit that being apart from Tori was causing me a great deal of anxiety, knowing that Tori is worried about me, only makes it worse. Perhaps that's why she didn't mention it to me until now.

Fighting my own tears, I put my arms around the crying Latina. "I'll call you if I have a bad dream and just knowing that you love me, will keep me going until I can come back. We've been through so much, we can make it through a separation. I'll be fine Tori, I promise. I love you."

Holding on tight, Tori continued to Cry. "You have to promise me you'll be alright. You'll call me if you have any kind of bad day. I'm sorry I'm so worried, but I just can't help it." I love you so much. I wanted to be so strong for you, just say goodbye, but now I ruined it."

I pulled back and wiped her tears. "No Tori, you're being honest and that's all I want. I'll miss you I will and I promise not to even look at any of those Italian girls. Tori, our relationship is strong, more than strong enough to survive this."

"You'd better promise. And speaking of promises." Tori then pulled out a small ring from her pocket. It was gold with a little green stone and was beautiful. Just seeing it made my heart skip a beat.

"A ring?"

"I want you to wear this, it's a promise ring. That I promise I will be here waiting for you, when you come back and some day, that I'll put a different ring on your finger."

I slipped the ring on my finger and admired it. "I love it and the promise it represents. I'll never take it off.

Tori smiled. "I'm glad, that and it will scare the other girls away. Let them know, you're taken."

I smiled back and leaned my head against hers. "I most certainly am."

"Jade, just hold me until the cab arrives."

"I'll hold you anytime."

Pulling her in my arms, I held her tight as tight as I could, trying to memorize every last detail of this moment; how she felt, how she smelled. Everything."

It was a beautiful moment, but like every moment it couldn't last. The blast of a horn of a Taxi at 10:00 Am, woke me from my by bliss.

"That's my ride." I said as I let go of Tori.

"Goodbye."

With a heavy heart I got up, kissed Tori, grabbed my bags and walked to the door.

"I love you Tori Vega."

Tori wiped another tear. "I love you Jade West. Come back to me."

I pulled open the door and "I will. Oh and one more thing."

"What's that?"

I pointed to the coffee table where a pair of scissors sat. "My blue scissors. My very favorite pair. Have them sharpened for me."

Tori snatched them off the table, held them to her bosom and grinned. "I will Elliot. Goodbye."

Knowing she got my message, I smiled back, grabbed my bags, walked out the door and shut it behind me.

If you're wondering why she called me Elliott, here's why. About 6 months ago, we saw the movie, "The Goodbye Girl." It's about an actor, named Elliot. who comes to live with a woman named Paula, by accident. They initially don't get along, but fall in love. The actor gets a movie offer and has to be away for several weeks. He assures her he'll be back, but she's been burned by actors before. In the end, after he leaves, Elliot calls Paula and asks her to have his guitar restrung. To Paula that is all the confirmation she needs to know that he does plan to come back as that guitar is his most prized possession.

It was over a year ago, I came to this door, broken and lost. Tori took me in, I helped her, she helped me and after a long struggle we not only overcame our problems, but fell in love.

Tori Vega not only saved my life, but gave it meaning. No force on earth could keep me from coming back.

As I load my bags in the cab, I look up to see Tori blowing me a kiss. Just that makes my heart flutter. Just before I get in the cab, I blow it back and mouth the words, "I love you."

I leave today, but I will return, for home is where the heart is and my heart is waiting for me, upstairs in a tiny cramped apartment.

As far as I'm concerned, it's the best place on earth.

The end.

**Endings are hard to write sometimes. I could have a cute ending with them in bed, but I wanted something a bit more bittersweet. Things are going very well for them, but Jade has to go away for a while. **

**But each knows, they will be together again. I'll leave it there, but if I ever wrote another chapter, I would never ever ever write one where they don't happily reunite so be safe in that knowledge.**

**If you haven't seen "The Goodbye Girl" It's extremely good and was nominated for several Academy Awards.**


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